Those Special Moments With Mom......

I was thinking this morning about my Mom as I am sure many of you were thinking about yours.....

The earliest memory I have of Mom was sitting on the kitchen table helping her make Christmas cookies. We were living in a 5th floor walk up in the Bronx.  The memory is so brief....just a split second but I can see it as clear as if it were yesterday,

Fast forward to 6th grade graduation from PS 71.  Mom and I shopping at Alexander's on Fordham Road in the Bronx.  She selected a pink dress with white polka dots.  I was also allowed to get a pair of shoes with a very slight heel.  I loved that dress and the shoes made me feel so grownup!!

Then we hit the years when Mom knew nothing.....absolutely nothing......

I was certain she could not understand anything I was feeling as a teenager.  She was tough, she was strict and she was ....right.  A fact I only realized years later.

We shopped together for everything from prom dresses to my wedding gown to my daughters crib.

There were times I didn't like her.....I am sure the feeling was mutual.

As I got older.....Mom got smarter....

She was able to give me advice on a million topics....from how to take care of Jennifer to how to make dumplings that floated on top of a pot of stew.

I am sure the fact I  had used tape on a few occasions to fix a hem that had fallen vs sewing it left her with the feeling she had failed,  I had learned to save everything that needed to be hemmed or mended for her visits.

I made her crazy by ironing everything,  She would say "Donna, if you would just take things out of the dryer when the buzzer goes off".  You know what ....she was right.  I finally decided to do as Mom suggested and I don't have to iron much any longer.

She told me to buy detergent and other things at the Dollar Store.  She said "you could get things much cheaper."  You know what....she was right.

And she was right about so many other things......

How did she get so smart??? When did she get so smart??

When she left us 5 years ago, I had no idea the void it would create in my life.  I would give anything to be able to call her and say "Mom, come spend a few weeks with me".

But life isn't always fair.....and cancer never plays fair......

I had gotten into the routine of calling Mom every night on my way home from work.  Sometimes we didn't have a lot to say.  Other times , I would sit in the driveway with the car running and continue to talk.  After she left us, the rides home seemed empty and lonely and sad.

One of my best memories of Mom was at my nephews wedding where (with some encouragement) she danced the Hula to the Hawaiian Wedding Song.  She was nervous and graceful and all of a sudden the years slipped away.

She became the belle of the ball.....this is how I will always remember her.....

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

See you next week........

The Phone Book......

Way back in 1985, we bought our first home. It was in the town where I had spent my teenage years. In fact, it was the house next door to my parents home.

Right after our closing, a lady from the Welcome Wagon showed up at my front door.  Yes, there was such a thing as the Welcome Wagon. I know it sounds like a tradition from years gone by and I guess it is considering it was over 30 years ago.  I am not sure if something like that even exists any longer.

In the box of goodies she gave me was a yardstick from a local hardware store. a tape measure from a local tailor, a variety of coupons from local businesses .....and a phone book.

Not your standard white and yellow pages type of phone book.  It had a brown fake leather cover. On the inside was a list of medical professionals and the local hospitals.  On the pages were local business in order by their type of business.  For example: Jolene Cleaners was not under J for Jolene, it was under C for cleaners.

I was so excited to have this phone book and carefully listed the names, addresses and phone numbers for family, friends and businesses that we frequented.

Now held together by a rubber band holding it closed (the back binding split years ago).  It also became the place to keep Chinese restaurant menus, pizza menus.....in fact a lot of menu's.....

There are also newspaper ad's for places I wanted to call and find out about from vacations to specialty stores.

Some names and addresses were written very neatly using a Bic pen ( at least it looks like a 19 cent Bic pen blue).  Then there were cross  outs with new addresses and phone numbers. I can see when I started to get lazy and things were written in whatever was available.....no longer neat and in the same color ink.  In fact, I started using pencils so it was easier to erase.

I finally reached a point where I would tear a family member or friends new address from an envelope and stick it in the phone book.  I did at least try to file the slip of paper under the right letter from the last name.I found I had shoved full envelopes from Christmas cards with new addresses of friends into its pages.

I had the phone numbers from just about every job I ever had.......talk about a long list. Starting with my first job in high school through my many job changes in New York City, White Plains, Mamamroneck,  Dobbs Ferry, Montvale NJ and on and on. I could write one heck of a resume based on that information.

Sadly, as I turned the pages I saw so many names of people that are no longer with us.  I never crossed out those names......maybe it made their passing less final.....

I never realized when I first opened the pages of that phone book I would still have it all these years later..

I can't get myself to throw it away even though the only reason I open it anymore is for the restaurant menu's it holds.....well maybe it is because it holds more.....it holds my past.....from daughter to sibling to aunt to friend to PTA President to Girl Scout Leader to Bank Teller and on and on.

I have no old diaries (thank goodness)....but the brown book could tell part of the story of my life......my family....my friends....the jobs I had....the community/school involvement of which I was a participant.

I have photo albums and video's as records of my past......and a silly faux brown leather phone book that one day someone will look at and wonder why did she keep it???

Maybe for the memories it holds inside....thank you Welcome Wagon Lady.....thanks for the memories......

See you next week.......