Nothing like feeling foolish

There used to be a column in the newspaper called “embarrassing moments”. People would write about these moments when their elevator might not have made it to the top floor.

I had one of those moments Friday. 

It started very simply, I went to get my car washed.

I pulled up and paid, the gate lifted. And I pulled ahead.

A young man hosed off my car.

Another employee waived me ahead pointing at which way I should turn my wheels.

I moved ahead slowly.

Car locked in position.

Then the car is supposed to move ahead.

My car is bucking and will not move.

I put down my window.

The young man who had just been pointing which way I should move the wheels says, “Is the car in neutral?” I say, “Yes”. 

He then asks, “Do you have your foot on the brake?”  I answer “No”.

Then he tries to move my car ahead again.  The car bucks again but does not move.

I am now asked by another young man, “if I have the brake on and is the car in neutral?” 

Again I answer, “No brake on and yes to car in neutral question.”

I now can see the line of cars in my rear view mirror including Jenn in her car behind me.

I then realize, I have pressed the brake hold button.  

This allows me to stop at a traffic light by pressing on the brake and I can then take my foot off the brake and the car will not move again until I step on the gas.

Problem solved.

The young man once again presses the button to move my car along.

The car doesn’t move and once again bucks.

I am at a loss.

Then another employee comes over looks in the car and says “the word “brake” is showing up on my dashboard in red.“

I tell him, “there is no brake on.”

Meanwhile, Jenn is telling another employee to tell me to take off the “brake hold”.

The employee comes to me and says “The lady behind you who has the same car as you said you need to take off the brake hold”.

I reply he can tell my daughter “the brake hold is not on.”

Then I am asked “Is you emergency brake on?”

My response “I don’t know where the emergency brake is since I have never used it since I bought the car.”

They now go back to Jenn and ask “if she knows where the emergency brake is?”

More cars are joining the line out to the road.

Lots of cars.

Now Jenn gets out of her car and walks up to me laughing.

She says “Mom is the parking brake on?” I say, “I don’t know because I never use it.”

She then explains to all five us us trying to figure this issue out that my car is smarter than all of us.

Since the car is in neutral and I do not have my foot on the brake and I have taken off the brake hold, the car automatically puts on the emergency brake (labeled “P” for parking break).  This is to prevent me from rolling forward,

Jenn still laughing says “ Mom, press down on the letter “P” and release the parking/emergency brake.”

The young man hits the button to move my car ahead.

As I move forward, he says “these new cars have a lot of fancy options”.

I think he was trying to be nice to offset my humiliation.

He is all of maybe 18.  

Dear God, the last car I owned was older than him.

Thank goodness my car moved along as it should.

I did not look back as I am sure there was some laughter from the employees and annoyance from all the drivers behind me.

It was not one of my finest hours but in retrospect pretty funny.

See you next week.

 

Do our memories fade

 “Memories light the corner of my mind. Misty water-colored memories of the way we were.”

A thought just popped into my head, I was remembering the blankets my brother and I had when we were kids.  I think they were called “army blankets” .  I remember how rough they were against my skin. Itchy too. But we were warm.

In our 5th floor Bronx walkup, our room was small. We had bunk beds and a crib in the tiny bedroom.  Our toy boxes were large cardboard boxes with some toilet paper brand name on the side. 

George and I would take turns sitting on the top bunk and hold a piece of rope.  The other one would dig into the bottom of the card board boxes and get out a toy and tie it to the rope. Then it is time to pull on the rope to signal a”fish” had been caught.  The person on the top bunk would pull up the rope to see what had been caught.

Was it really that fun?

“Can it be that it was all so simple then? Or has time rewritten every line”

My sister, Cheryl, and I shared a room years later when we moved to a two family house. We had twin beds with no headboards.  My Mom saw an idea in some ladies magazine and made us headboards.  They consisted of fancy curtain rods attached to the wall. Hanging on over rod and attached to the wall below our beds were strips of felt alternating pink and white strips.

Mom’s way of decorating on a budget.

More trips to the Bronx Zoo on free admission days than I can count. Also, going for a ride in the station wagon. Destination nowhere but remembering how it felt to have the cool air hitting my face from the rolled down window.  A real treat was going to the drive-in in our pj’s.  We got to play in the playground until the movie started,  Then we would lay down on the pillows and blankets in the back of the station wagon where the seats had been folded down.

Dad’s version of a family outings.  How much did they cost? Not too much but based on my parents tight budget it was a bit frivolous  

Walking to a local pizzeria that had tables in the back. Sitting at those tables with red and white plastic checker board print tablecloths. Candles on the table with wax dripping down the bottle holding it. The juke box in the background playing fairly recent records.

Dad’s idea of an evening out.  It was such a treat and a little luxurious for the budget.

I knew Dad and Mom did not have a lot of money in those days.  

Maybe that is why I never took for granted the trips to shop for school clothes or uniforms. The new Easter dress was special. The occasional trip to an ice cream parlor for hot chocolate with whipped cream on top, there were always two Lorna Doone cookies placed on the side.

“If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me would we? Could we?”

The smell of clothes and sheets right off the clothesline.

Having our school books covered from brown paper bags not those fancy shiny book covers.

Mom sharpening our pencils with a knife since we didn’t have a pencil sharpener.

Mom created all of our Halloween costumes, no store bought costumes for us.

Homemade corsages for birthdays were made by Mom.

The whole family walking to a  Christmas tree lot to find the perfect tree.  Learning the art of negotiating from Dad and the tree salesman. Hearing Dad say “$7 , no look at the bare spot here.” Walking home with all of us carrying the tree.  Dad carried the trunk while the youngest carried the tip of the tree.

My Mom watching my Dad drag a sled across the snow in our backyard on Christmas Eve, make hoof prints with the top of a broom handle and foot prints back and forth to our door.  All so my brother, Greg, had real proof of Santa’s visit.  Magic.

I sit here typing on a remote key board with the words showing up on my IPAD and IPhone next to me.

How the world has changed.

How my world has changed.

“Memories may be beautiful and yet, what’s to painful to remember we simply choose to forget. So it’s the laughter we will remember, whenever we remember the way we were.”

I am so grateful for the well grounded childhood my parents gave me. I wouldn’t change any of it.

“The way we were.”

See you next week.