Nothing like feeling foolish

There used to be a column in the newspaper called “embarrassing moments”. People would write about these moments when their elevator might not have made it to the top floor.

I had one of those moments Friday. 

It started very simply, I went to get my car washed.

I pulled up and paid, the gate lifted. And I pulled ahead.

A young man hosed off my car.

Another employee waived me ahead pointing at which way I should turn my wheels.

I moved ahead slowly.

Car locked in position.

Then the car is supposed to move ahead.

My car is bucking and will not move.

I put down my window.

The young man who had just been pointing which way I should move the wheels says, “Is the car in neutral?” I say, “Yes”. 

He then asks, “Do you have your foot on the brake?”  I answer “No”.

Then he tries to move my car ahead again.  The car bucks again but does not move.

I am now asked by another young man, “if I have the brake on and is the car in neutral?” 

Again I answer, “No brake on and yes to car in neutral question.”

I now can see the line of cars in my rear view mirror including Jenn in her car behind me.

I then realize, I have pressed the brake hold button.  

This allows me to stop at a traffic light by pressing on the brake and I can then take my foot off the brake and the car will not move again until I step on the gas.

Problem solved.

The young man once again presses the button to move my car along.

The car doesn’t move and once again bucks.

I am at a loss.

Then another employee comes over looks in the car and says “the word “brake” is showing up on my dashboard in red.“

I tell him, “there is no brake on.”

Meanwhile, Jenn is telling another employee to tell me to take off the “brake hold”.

The employee comes to me and says “The lady behind you who has the same car as you said you need to take off the brake hold”.

I reply he can tell my daughter “the brake hold is not on.”

Then I am asked “Is you emergency brake on?”

My response “I don’t know where the emergency brake is since I have never used it since I bought the car.”

They now go back to Jenn and ask “if she knows where the emergency brake is?”

More cars are joining the line out to the road.

Lots of cars.

Now Jenn gets out of her car and walks up to me laughing.

She says “Mom is the parking brake on?” I say, “I don’t know because I never use it.”

She then explains to all five us us trying to figure this issue out that my car is smarter than all of us.

Since the car is in neutral and I do not have my foot on the brake and I have taken off the brake hold, the car automatically puts on the emergency brake (labeled “P” for parking break).  This is to prevent me from rolling forward,

Jenn still laughing says “ Mom, press down on the letter “P” and release the parking/emergency brake.”

The young man hits the button to move my car ahead.

As I move forward, he says “these new cars have a lot of fancy options”.

I think he was trying to be nice to offset my humiliation.

He is all of maybe 18.  

Dear God, the last car I owned was older than him.

Thank goodness my car moved along as it should.

I did not look back as I am sure there was some laughter from the employees and annoyance from all the drivers behind me.

It was not one of my finest hours but in retrospect pretty funny.

See you next week.