When I Start To Feel Good I Let Things Slip

Whenever I have some success at the scale I tend to slack off.....

I do not write down every bite I put in my mouth. I may close one eye while sizing up a portion of food. I give in a little more easily to something sweet at night. Then I get a reality check......I get on the bathroom scale and weigh myself......4 times......once in each direction....north, south, east and west......of course none of the numbers match. But the numbers do reflect that I have not been as rigid in my days.

I can either beat myself up......which we all know I have been known to do......or regroup and get back on track. I am not sure why I can't get in control of this and stay there. I am such a control freak in so many other parts of my life......

YES I SAID IT....I know I am a control freak. There is not an impulsive bone in my body. Oh, I wish there was......I have to plan everything to the max. If a friend showed up at my door today and said "We are going to Italy!! You don't have to pay or pack....we will buy our clothes when we get there!!" I would freak.....I would think of the million things I need to get done, I would worry myself sick about what I might not get to do before I leave and the thought of going somewhere and not planning the whole trip in advance.....I would probably pass on the trip.

The most impulsive thing I have done lately is.........hhhhhhmmmmm......the was the time I......nope......how about when I ........no to that too....... I envy people who can make decisions on a dime...... So why is it I can let things like writing down what I eat slip?? As controlling as I am.....this should be a no
brainer.......just because I occasionally start to feel good about myself should not mean I have the opportunity to slide backwards......

Maybe a few years of analysis would give me the answer.......