Why Do I Obsess About Dying?

Since my Mom died.....I think about death a lot.  Is it abnormal?  Is it obsessive? 

I think it might be......

I think about dying every day.  I don't want to die.  Not now anyway.  I start to think about how many birthdays and Christmas's I have left. I pray every night thanking God for the day, I pray that I will wake up in the morning and in the morning I say a prayer of thanks that I woke up again. 

I worry that the fact that I have neglected my body for so many years will come back to haunt me.  I worry that the excess weight I carry will speed up my death.  I worry, I worry, I worry.....

I try to remind myself that I am doing good things to help myself.....exercise, eating healthier, I go to the Dr. to make sure that all the things I am doing will prolong my life.  There are days when my knee aches or my hip aches....I am hoping that losing weight will help those. 

I wish I could turn back the clock and have gotten my act together sooner.  I quit smoking 25 years ago.....why didn't I start doing the rest?????

I worry about flying.....I worry about car accidents.......I worry I will die in my shower......

I have tried to stop worrying......but can't seem to stop. 

I worry that the stress I feel at work will take its toll........I blame the stress and worry for the fact that my hair is so thin........do I sound as nutty as a fruitcake????

I know we will all have to die someday.......I just don't want it to be for a long, long time!!!!

I need encouragement to push myself to keep on this path of trying to get healthy, lose weight and exercise!!!!

This fat lady isn't quite ready to sing......