Pomp and Circumstance

Yesterday, I attended the graduation of a dear friend's son.  He was the last of the High School graduations I will be attending for a close group of friends in Columbia.  This group of friends have been through a lot together including attending each others children's rite of passage from HS to College.

While listening to Pomp and Circumstance, my mind traveled back to all the other occasions where I have heard that song played.I have to admit it......I hear the music and I get choked up.  Why?? I think it has to do with the all of memories and the hours that built up to this final moment.....this final procession.

I think back to May 1966, when I watched my father walk into his graduation from NYU.  He was 33 years old and had just finished 10 years of college and law school at night.  The hours of sacrifice by both my Mom and Dad to make that moment possible......it took a lot determination to get to that moment. 

My own HS graduation was held on a football field on a Sunday afternoon.  I remember thinking how will I get through a day without these friends and knowing most of them..... I would never see again.  The longest friendships I have maintained in my life are my HS friends.  I am lucky to have them still in my life.  I didn't go away to college so as a commuter I didn't have the chance to build  the friendships other make while living away from home.

My college graduation was a big occasion for me since my brother  and I graduated on the same day from the same college.  We had a running bet over who would graduate first....technically it was a tie.  I received a Bachelor of Arts and he a Bachelor of Science.  I had my diploma holder in my hand first but when we went to turn in out cap and gowns, he was given his diploma and I was given a bill from the library that I had to pay before they would give me my sheepskin.

With Jenn I went to a slew of graduations, day care, kindergarten, 4th grade, middle school, high school, college and her Masters Degree.  Each was a special day and seemed to go by in the blink of an eye.  The one constant besides Bob and I at each of these occasions was Mom.  She was there for each of her grandchildren's graduations right up until she left us.

I didn't expect the flood of emotions I felt watching my friends son, Michael walk down that aisle to the graduation song......happy times, the reward for a lot of hard work and something to celebrate.  Thank you Michael for giving me the opportunity to share in your big day.....it gave me a chance to think of all those graduations I have attended and reminded me of the special people I shared them with.......

Changing things up......

I finally wore make-up again for the first time in 4 weeks (since my fall).  It felt good to put it on and  I was very cautious around my scars and super careful around my eye which is still swollen and numb.  My one eye still doesn't open as much as the other and my new scar down the side of my face is my new focus instead of the birth mark on my forehead between my eyes I had been focusing on before "my trip".  People say I am healing well but you know how it is when it is your face and not someone elses.  I am also surprised I still have a big bruise on the bottom of my leg and there is a lump there too.  I have a dr. appt. next week so I can check it out with him and we can continue to discuss my droopy eye lid and vision issues.  I also have my semi annual blood work this week......ugh......I always stress over this until I see the numbers and they are always good but you know me I have to have something to worry about!!!

Also, I am finally sticking to one of my New Year's resolutions.........changing up my jewelry.  My friend Kathy gave me a very cool necklace and some bracelets she made.  I love them!! I decided to wear the necklace and a bracelet Monday.  Well that led to different necklaces, earrings and bracelets each day.  And guess what???? The world did not end because I didn't wear my gold cross.  I had become so superstitious about it since I had started wearing it when Mom was diagnosed with cancer and felt that if I stopped wearing it something bad would happen.. How silly is that?????

The work week has been stressful and there are just not enough hours in the day to get it all done.  I have tried to set 6:00 as the cutoff time each day but somehow 7:00 and I am just leaving.  Friday it was 8:00 and today I will have to spend a few hours trying to play catch by working from home.  I do have to leave on time Friday since I have a pedi scheduled and maybe just maybe try to get the eye brows waxed??? We will have to see.......

I am really going to try and get out by 6:00 each night except tomorrow which is my late night.  I so need to have some me time......

OK one last thing.......I know that there are a lot of reasons for short term memory loss.....menopause being one of them......my slam to the head might be another......Jenn told me the night I fell she had stopped on the way home from the emergency room for a pizza since we never had dinner.......I don't remember any of it........she told me about a friend going in the army in the morning and in the afternoon I asked when the friend was going in the army......at times we will joke about it and she will say "do I need to take you to the hospital?".....we laugh.......but yesterday she looked at me with concern....then it concerned me too......but I think it is the big M.....the hit on the head and the fact that my brain needs to go a million miles an hour all week at work and on the week-end checks out.......at work things are so fast paced that I have to write down loan numbers because I will switch from one loan to the next and then forget which loan number I had been in earlier......

Am I worried about my memory.......not really.......OK maybe a little......some of it could be the aging process too......I AM NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT THIS!!!!!!.......

I haven't said a lot about it lately......but yes I am still fighting the war on weight and exercising and finding healthy options to eat.  My lunch bag has cherry tomatoes, grapes, a banana and salad most days.....along with a few other things.  I still love the pool at the gym!!!!  And obsess about my weight and health all the time.  I do get and need  some encouragement a long the way.  It has been a long time since I have been happy about me.  BUT here is my new thought.....I know I am a work in progress so either love me as I am or leave me alone.  I am finally figuring out I matter and I am worth knowing!!!! Those who choose not to get to know me based on how I look.....their loss and they are missing something......well...... fabulous!!!!  Sounds like I am growing up......

So who am I and what is this I am writing????? OK that was a very very bad joke......



Here is me the day after the fall.......

 

and look at me 4 weeks later......

 

 

Talk about the miracle of medicine!!!!!

Mother's Day and a Family Visit........

Mother's Day......

Time to thank our Mom's for all they have done for us.  Time to remember the special days shared.  Time to enjoy with our children. 

My Mom was awesome.  Did I always think that......no.  I thought she had never felt anything I had, I thought she got smarter as I got older and I came to think of her as a trusted advisor.  In the end, I think we were also friends.  I didn't know she would leave such a void in my heart when she left us.

I love being a Mom!!! It is by far the best thing I have ever done in my life!!!

Me as a Mom.  I rock!!!! LOL  There are very few things about which I am so sure.......don't ask Jenn.....but in my opinion I knocked it out of the park.  When have you read one of my entries where I was so confident?  Almost never......

I loved the school concerts, the girl scout trips, having tea parties.......yes even the swim meets!!!!  I miss those days but something wonderful has happened........I now have an adult that I can talk to about a whole array of topics......from politics to cooking to life in general.

This week Jenn was awarded the Employee of the Year for her division at the University of South Carolina.  What was her first thought and mine??? Call Nannie......

Mom was there for the kindergarten graduation and to see Jenn receive her Masters Degree.  How great for Mom and how lucky for Jenn!!

As I hear Mom's wind chimes ringing gently in the breeze I am so grateful for each day I had her.  The last 16 months have been difficult without her.......but Jenn has helped to fill the gap with her sense of humor and sensitivity.

Thank you Mom and Jenn.....today is special because of both of you!!!!!

 

Me and Mom at my nephews wedding 2 years ago.

 

                                         Mom and Jenn at Jenn's college graduation.

The other special event this week was my brother George and his wife Marge stopped to see us for s few days.  It was great seeing them!!! Tuesday night we got to catch up with Cheryl and Mike too!!! Good times good times!!!!

I also tried to make Mom's Cole Slaw while they were here and guess what.....except for almost a tad too much mayo and not shredding the cabbage just a little smaller.... George said I nailed it!!! He said he knew it as soon as it hit his taste buds.  It only took numerous tries to get there but that made me very happy!!!!

There is something about shared experiences.....I can laugh with all of my siblings about things no one else would think is funny.  I guess most families have that kind of experience.  Whether is be a story about a dropped bowl of cream spinach, a pheasant motel or someone eating a fire starter because they thought it was a granola bar. 

George called me the lynch pin of the family......the one who for the most part keeps us all in touch now that Mom is gone.  I am glad to take on that roll.  George also said it is important to see those who matter to us.....he said " how many more times in my life am I going to see these people?' 

And he is right.......note to self.....spend more time with those I love..........laugh more and enjoy each minute like it is your last!!!

I am going to start doing that right now......... 

Me and my siblings.....Greg, Cheryl and George.

The Undies Are Too Big......LOL!!!

Sometimes it is easier to shop online.  I know my sizes and don't pick out anything crazy that I am sure will not fit.  I have ordered everything from nightshirts to bathing suits to t-shirts to work pants online.  Seldom do I have to return anything.

Until now......OK guys you might want to stop reading here......

I ordered 3 bra's online and yes some panties (why oh why do that word bother me???). I ordered my regular size.....

What a mistake.......

The bra's....were.......huge.  I put them on and looked like a jackass......

Now I am not small in the boob dept......(ok I am not small in any dept except self-esteem)......anyway....the cups could have been used a a baby swing or two connecting tents......

Next the panties (ok I really hate that word....ugh).....OMG they could have been used as a parachute.....when I took them out of the package I thought no way these will fit me they are enormous....

But I thought well maybe I am bigger than I think.  So I tried them on.......thank God no one saw me....even I burst out in laughter......they hung down to my knees.....that were so loose and covered me from under my boobs to my knees......I have never seen anything so ridiculous in my whole life.  I could have kept them to use as a tarp on our roof !!

Well, I didn't return them.......I gave them to Goodwill.....all brand new and never worn except the 10 seconds they were on my body.......

Well at least I can use them on my tax returns next year as a charitable donation.........and it was worth the laughter........