Food For Thought.....

I heard a term recently that I have not heard before.....weight loss resistant.  I heard it on a talk show and looked it up....surprise there is such a thing!!

Maybe that's my problem.....

Two of the things that I saw referenced were stress and lack of sleep.

Many studies say that you need to get a good nights sleep to help weight loss.  Well, I am sure I am not getting enough hours of sleep.  I average 5-6 hours a night.  It is suggested at my age (ugh) I get 8 hours a night.  Actually, the new sleeping arrangements are helping me get a more restful nights sleep.  No more waking up to snoring.  Now I have to get out of the habit of sleeping in a recliner.  Bad habit and now it is hard to break.  I need to start in just a few hour increments and build up from there. 

Stress.....ok this is hard one.  For example in the last week I wrote a difficult post, Bob's unemployment ran out, then engine blew on his car and there are some changes coming up at work......think that is enough stress for one week????? BUT I am trying to minimize my stress.....writing the post last was stressful but having shared what is going on makes it easier to not pretend everything is fine.  The car engine....oh well it is what it is.  The end of unemployment....I will make the budget work.  The changes at work......anyone in the mortgage industry will tell you this is a constant...things are always changing.

To help my weight loss/get healthy goals....I am going to go to bed earlier at night (isn't that why DVR's were created?) and I am going to work on not letting stress get the better of me. Everyone has stress in their lives but I have to minimize it or let some things roll of my shoulders.

In Weight Watchers magazine there was an article about how I have to stop being negative about myself.  Not just me LOL....but all of us.  If asked I could come up with issues about everything from my hair to my toes.  I have to try and stop the self-criticism.  This will be hard for me.....I have talked about my thin hair, fat butt, big thighs......and on and on but according to the article this is not good for me mentally.  I need to create positive images that make me feel good about myself......this could be a challenge for the person who has never felt good about her looks.....but I am not going to stress out about it.....LOL.....I am going to give it a try.

I have been to the gym and done an hours worth of jogging in the pool several times in the last week.  I am so glad to be getting back into a routine at the gym!!

Oh one more thing......counting points.  Weight Watchers does like you to count point each day for the foods you eat.  I do use my calculator on my smart phone all the time.  Last week, Jenn was taking muffins from Sam's Club to her University 101 class.  I thought I would bring some to work too.  Once we got them home we both agreed they were big muffins.....but how many points could they really be?? I used my handy dandy calculator and guess what??? They were 17  POINTS EACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!  It is safe to say neither Jenn or I had one bite of those babies......

Ok so in using my new positive thought process....thanks for reading and caring......

PS.  I want to thank all of you for your response to my entry last week.  I had more views of that entry than any other I have written in the last 3 years.  Almost  200 people read and many wrote to me about that difficult entry. I received e-mails, texts and feedback on FB from family, friends and even people that I went to school with many many years ago.......all were positive and supportive and I cannot tell you how much that meant to me!!!! I feel the love!!!!

PPSS Just one more thing......in looking at the number of views of my blog.....I am close to 18,000 views since it's inception. I need you to know that your comments mean a lot....it also helps me to know that what I am writing has some value to others.  Thanks for following me through my journey.......I am so glad you decided to come along for the ride!!!!! 

See you next week.........

A Hard Entry To Share......

It's true....like an ostrich I stick my head in the sand.   I think things can't be fixed.....the storm door handle breaks...I leave it broken....... the grill doesn't light....I leave it unused......nothing can be fixed.  Or can it???

This is one of the hardest entries I have written.......and one of the most personal........short of telling you how much I weigh.....it will probably never get any more personal than this.....at least nothing I can think of now.

Most of you are aware things have not been right in the Pizzo house for a while now.  And they haven't been.  You go into a relationship thinking it is forever.....at least I really believed that 30 plus years ago.......

Life throws you curves that you don't anticipate.  People change. People grown in different directions. 

I thought I could get through it all......I thought we could get through it all.......I was wrong. 

I live in a house where the communication is down to necessary conversation only.  We swap the bedroom weeks at a time.  I have it one week ....he has it the next. 

What should I blame......30 years of financial struggles.......cancer....unemployment??? Each one of those may have played a part but I have seen people endure more than that and still stay together.  

We are not soul mates......

I envy the people who tell everyone how great their spouse is and how they love them.  I see a couple walking along holding hands.  I see people reference their date nights with their spouses.  I am jealous of them all.......

So do I settle......do we settle????

This relationship is winding down......sailing in to the sunset....slowly......there is a lot to work through......trying to be fair and leave both of us in a good place.  The legalities will come eventually.......I compare this to slowly taking off a band aid instead of ripping it off.

I have referred to myself as a failure......or this relationship as a failure.......but can any relationship that produced a great daughter like Jenn ever be considered a failure??? NEVER!!!!

I didn't write my entry last week because I had  a lot on my mind.

I went and had my wedding ring cut off. I cried as I looked at the ring finger that hadn't been bare in over 30 years.  There are still marks on the finger where the ring once was.....I still reach to adjust it on my hand......and then get sad when I realize it is no longer there......

While this is not the way I expected it to turn out when I said for richer for poorer in sickness and in health.......I can find no way to make it work any more.

As I look ahead.....I see myself alone....and that scares me.......

But I also look to a time when I can watch Jenn off on her own adventures, when I can spend my time writing and live near some beach......

Right now I am terrified....

You need to know that Bob is not a bad guy or the villain.....we both have had a part in this.....I just think this is too broken too repair.

Please do not avoid me or Bob.  I tell my family please come to see us if you want....we still make that work and I would hate not to see people who want to spend time with us.

I think putting this all down in words makes it more real......and makes me cry as I read it back.....

Say a prayer for us as we work though this process ......

After all is said and done...........I still believe in love.....

 

The TD Wellness Challenge

The company I work for (TD Bank) is starting a company wide wellness challenge.  Teams of employees competing against each other and getting healthy in the process.

I am part of a team called "Keeping It Real".  There are 7 other co-workers on the team.....very competitive people I might say too.  The challenge involves either exercising or taking extra steps.  I chose as my part to exercise.  You could also put down you weight and track that too.....nope not doing that on a work website even though they say it is confidential.....how do I know the government is not tracking this info for release.  I sure do not want to end up testifying in front of Congress about my weight due to NSA leaks.....

My Friend, DeAnna, was the one who got the ball rolling.  She asked me if I wanted to be on a team with her.  Then we found out we would need at least 5 team members to compete.  I wasn't sure we would get that many but then everyone on my team at work decided to join in.  A few people from other teams asked to join too....so there we are 8 in all. 

Having friends from work as part of a group is great for me.  I need the support during the day. 

This week-end I went to the gym 3 out of 4 days and jogged in the pool an hour each time.

I went and signed up for Weight Watchers again...I know I know how many times have I done this.....at some point it has to work right......I went to the meeting as if I had never been on the program before.  I feel so focused now I just have to not let myself slide. I have also promised myself that I will not let my mood be determined by what happens on the scale each week.  I think that was part of my downfall in the past.....I now know I am more than a number.  That is why I love the Special K commercial where ladies are measured with a tape measure that doesn't show inches it shows positive words instead.  I like that idea.....so no more it's a bad week if I am not down at the scales.....PROMISE!!!!

I went food shopping and have already made a cucumber, tomato and red onion salad for tomorrow (ok don't talk to me after lunch since I will eat the red onion).  I also bought and cooked some shrimp to have for lunch.  Yes, I will write down what I eat.  That is the thing that I find the most difficult to stick to but I really need to do this if I want to be successful.  People who track what they eat do better at losing weight. 

I am not setting a goal for myself as far as what I was to see on the scale.  I am just going to do the best I can. 

So here I go again.....at least I don't quit......I may slack off at times but I still know where I want to be......healthier. 

And I hope you are not all out there saying how many times have we read these words before???  If you are thinking or saying that.....you are right......I may fall down but I continue to get up.....and isn't that half the battle???

I have to continue to put me first.........I have to believe in me.......and need you to believe in me too.......so I am asking all of you my cheerleaders to hang in with me once again as I restart....set back to zero.....and begin again........maybe all the stars and planets are in alignment this time.......I can't give up the Donna I see in my head......maybe she is a dream.....maybe she doesn't exist any where but in my head and heart.....but that's ok....I can see her and hopefully some day you will all see her too..........