It Was Bound To Happen.......

You knew it was coming.....I knew it was coming........

I had been feeling so good and positive for the last few months (at least most of the time)........there was due to be a down slide......

I know there are people that go around whistling zippy dee do dah out their butts everyday....at least that is the rumor....I myself do not know anyone in the perpetual state of happiness......but some do hit the mark on a more regular basis.......

Some comments that have been made to me just hit me at the wrong moment......as I put down what some of these comments were.....please do not take it personally if I use them in this entry.......I am not mad at anyone......it just gave me a lot to think about and maybe to work on.......

For example, I was told that people stay together when they get older because it is better than being alone.......or I have the best husband in the world and everyday with him is just wonderful (there were a lot of those from various people).......or once I am on my own I would drop 100 pounds......

Now none of these were said to hurt me.........none of these were said intentionally just as part of a conversation but it was just added to my down slide......

I went for a pedicure Thursday and had an ingrown toenail that needed to be worked on that left me in tears......I had my face waxed because it was getting fuzzy.........Friday, I had my haircut and cried over how thin it looked to me......by yesterday I was just a mess......not rock bottom but getting close......

Add to that the stress at home and ........you get the picture????

I knew I had to pull myself out of the downward spiral I was in.......

I decided to regroup and get back on track for the 9 zillionth time......and in doing that I found my strength.....

Here is how I see my life:

1.  Yes, I will be alone.  But that doesn't mean I can't be happy.  I can make friends and I do have a lot of friends.  I may not be able to get on Noah's Ark but that OK......I will just bring an umbrella and hope for the best.

2.  Losing 100 pounds......I cannot even fathom the number of pounds I need to lose......I can only think in 5 pound increments.......the good news is I went back to Weight Watchers today.....the last time I was there we had our rare SC snow on the ground.  The lady who weighed me greeted me as if I had been there last week.....she said "now don't be surprised if you are up on the scale since you have been gone for a while"....well guess what....I was down at the scale and even got another 5 pound sticker!!!!  After that I went to the gym and jogged for over an hour in the pool and even though I haven't loaded my music on my aquabeat yet I was able to listed to sports radio.

3.  The statement.......I have the best husband in the world.....well ladies if you do....thank God and be grateful.....not much more I can say about that except I envy you......

4.  My ingrown toenails.....OK that one I am blaming on my Mom and years of wearing some really ridiculous shoes (yes even I wore stilettos at one point in my life).

5.  My thinning hair.......OK I am not bald......and I need to get over it....with work each day it does look full and the highlights help not make it look so thin.....what the heck else can I do?  But for those of you will a full head of thick hair....treasure it!!

There have been a few up moments in the last few weeks that I need to note as I search my way back out of this hole I have dug for myself.

My friend, Crickett, once again found something she thought I would like.......it was a book called "I Still Have To".....it has places to write down things I want to do, dreams and places to sketch ideas (OK the sketching should be a hoot since I can only draw stick figures and even those I don't do well).

My sister and brother-in-law sent me an early birthday gift........they know me so well!!!!

I found an old Target gift card and was able to buy a piece of furniture that I saw advertised on sale.  It will be going with me for Chapter 3.

Chapter 3 is moving along.......maybe not as fast as people think it should but at the pace I feel comfortable with and that is really all that matters.

Several years ago, I was at a co-workers son's funeral.  The Pastor said something that has stuck with me all  this time ........"How can you appreciate a mountain top if you have  never been in a valley?" What great words.......the last few weeks I have been in a valley.......it is time to climb back up the mountain........

See you next week.......