How can it be Sunday night again?

I really believe I blink my eyes and Friday night becomes Sunday night.

Why is it that Monday morning to Friday at 5:00 seem like .....well you know.

I have often said that the years seem to fly....and they do but the weekends.....my precious weekends.....are really only about 10 seconds long.

I have been getting ready to have the floors done in my house.....new carpeting and new vinyl.  I am also getting ready for the inside of the house to be painted along with the front porch, shutters, power washing too.  I am embarrassed to say it has been 17 years since any of this was last done.

Maybe now I know why.....

It takes a lot of damn work to get ready!! I have packed and moved and packed and moved....and packed and moved.  Every room is the house has been touched .....and none  yet completed.  And I am running out of time. In college, if a term paper was assigned day 1....I was the person finishing it the night before it was due. I usually did well working under pressure.

And that is what it is like right now....tick tick tick.....not sure if I have to be done by Tuesday or Wednesday night....I should know that tomorrow.  By midday Friday or Saturday, the floors will be done.
 
There have been several trips to Goodwill.

Wednesday night around 8:30, Jenn put a three section laundry hamper on wheels out for bulk pickup along with 4 metal patio chairs.......they were gone from in front of my house by 8:45....LOL

Hey whoever took those items......there will be a couch and dresser outside this week.  The sleeper-sofa is OK if you flip over the cushions.  The dresser....not worth taking....it's old and some of the drawers are broken.  My current dresser is a couple of plastic bins in a lovely shade of blue.

Then I have Saturday and Sunday to move the furniture to get ready for the painters.All the curtains will come down and all picture removed from the walls. Next Monday, the painters will be here for 5 days then off the weekend then back for another 3 days.  The whole pantry will be on my kitchen counters.  The items in my linen closet will be in boxes.  My clothes will be laying in the back of my car.

The dog will be going to day board at the vet's for about 11 days....cha ching.....

And then to top it off....my drivers is window motor decided to stop working....with the window only up 1/4 of the way.  At Goodyear, they got the window up and put a wedge in place to keep it up.  And then I noticed a burning smell....most likely an oil leak.....that will be checked while the window is being repaired.

In addition, Bob is here for two weeks to go to dr appts so between him running to dr appt s and for some crazy reason I scheduled my dr. appts. for the same two weeks......I must have lost my mind when I was doing the scheduling...

Going for my mammo at 7 AM Wednesday??? What the hell was I thinking??????

I know life will return to normal soon but until then ?????

I spent today working on income taxes, doing a lot of paperwork that I needed to catch up on and cooking for the week.  Realizing there will be times I will not be able to get in my kitchen.

I am exhausted but am pushing through.....

Before I know it....I will have my very precious but very short weekends back......and I can't wait.......

See you next week........

Learning To Love Me.....

As I have said before I know I have to learn to put me first.  I have to love me.  I have to face my fears.  I have to believe I can succeed.

Yes, I know all of that.....but how do I make this real for me?  I am sure if you look over some of my past entries you will see this as a common thread.

Sometimes the fears and insecurities and lack of confidence can shake me to my core.

I fight back as best I can. But doing it alone can be difficult.

I had a lousy morning at the scale....not a big upswing but am tired of not seeing the losses as consistently as I once did.  I sat down after I weighed in and was trying to decide if I walk out the door and be done with all of this.....then Elizabeth saw me and came down the hall to talk to me.  She shared her struggles too.  Then she basically said "go into the meeting".  I did and as usual I was glad I did.  I walked in on a conversation about "do you think about food less now that you are on WW"  Some said yes.  I said no.  I think about it more. I think about what to eat, tracking food, what to buy and what to try to not get bored.

With so many things going on in my life at the same time my favorite word tends to be.....overwhelmed....as things start to resolve themselves I know I will feel less stress.....and more in control.

I was given so many words of advice and encouragement today......and that in itself is worth the price of admission. Whether it's Judy or Sabrina or any of the other WW pals in the room....they have all walked in my shoes in one way or another in this journey to get healthy and that makes a huge difference. In that room I can say just about anything I want to and it's OK.  Others outside of my meeting might not get it.  My WW friends know the craziness I call my life and they push me on to another day.

I took out all of my WW materials and am going to read them over the next few days.  I am treating this like day one, week one and try to find the zone again.....the zone that was so easy when I first started this walk again.

On a good note.....I also have a daughter who pushes me....sometimes when I don't want to be pushed. I have increased my daily steps on my fitbit (she has been upping the step count on my fit bit each week...LOL).  The last 2 days I finally hit 10,000 steps each day. Shouldn't that alone lead to a loss at the scale???? Nope. Can I do 10,000 steps every day....not likely but at least I now know it is achievable.....

Jenn printed out some positive thoughts for me....one was "if you can dream it you can do it!!!".......another was "if there is no struggle there is no progress".......I so get the second one....the first I am still working on.  I have the dreams now I have to believe they can come true!!

My pal, Sabrina, sent me a series of texts....one was from an author " life has taught me there is a fast moving river that separates success from failure, It's called giving up. Too many people drown in that river.......I was often caught in the undertow, but my mom was always nearby, screaming, encouraging, threatening, praying and on occasion she'd even dive in to pull me out". Many times you are the ones doing for me what the Mom did in that quote....THANK YOU!!!!

The actions of my daughter and Sabrina along with my WW buddies today are what I needed to continue the fight and struggle and daily battle against the demons in my head, my heart and my soul.

I have been loved....I have given love......sometimes it is harder to love yourself.......and it something I am finally starting to try and do.......it's not easy but I think I am worth it.....

The poster's Jenn hung up for me.....

My sister stopped by to see me.....these brightened my day.....thanks Cheryl  and Mike !!!

See you next week.......

Donna out......