Advice from Winnie the Pooh

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever."
Winnie the Pooh

How many people have passed through my life that are gone?

The obvious people are Mom and Dad.

This time of year my memories of them are strongest.

Sitting on the deck in the cool crisp fall evenings.

Each one of us wearing one of Dad's cardigan sweaters.  (Trying to find a new color cardigan for him each year became quite a challenge).

Some trees with leaves hanging on in an array of colors from gold to red.

Our backyard covered with the leaves that had given up the fight.

And a few that landed on the deck surrounding our feet.

The smell of some fireplaces burning in the air.

The aroma of hot coffee in the mugs we were each holding.

At times the chill in the air was enough you almost wanted to give up the fight and go inside.

But something kept us there.

I would even get a jacket to put on over the cardigan of Dad's I had chosen for the evening.

Sometimes, I felt warm enough wrapped in the sweater and jacket, I would put my head back on the chair and close my eyes.

I could feel myself drifting off to sleep.

Dad would say. "Why don't you go inside Don?"

I would respond. "I am fine."

I wanted to hear the conversation.

I wanted to feel the love.

I wanted to savor the moment like a photograph.

I had no idea those evenings were numbered.

Leaves blowing across an empty deck past the now vacant table.

Dad would no longer be there holding court and directing the conversation.

-"keep me in your heart and I will stay there forever"

Mom is her house dress in the kitchen.

Cooking up a storm and never measuring a damn thing. The smell of Christmas cookies filling the house or sauce.

Talking her into dragging a beach chair into the middle of my backyard.  Then turning on the sprinkler on a hot day while Jenn ran back and forth getting wet.  Mom and I laughing at how foolish we probably looked. At least we weren't hot any more.

Sewing the hems I could not (somehow you never saw her stitches).

Watching her be the wife I could never be.

Hearing her say "Oh Donna" when I would talk to her about some of the challenges in my life.

Looking at her aging hands, no longer smooth like when she held mine when I was young. (I now have those same hands).

Remembering the last time she squeezed my hand.  Then she said, "I can't believe you are going home tomorrow."

Seeing her waving goodbye in the rear view mirror as we drove away from her.

Never seeing her again.

-"keep me in your heart and I will stay there forever"

Removing paintings from a wall and seeing pencil marks to make sure it would be hung level.

Seeing a can of flavored coffee.  How many times did you see that coffee being made?

Having someone advise you on how to climb out of the hole you have created.

Being told numerous times "worry does no good".

Having "garage talks" when appropriate.  These were usually over serious issues.  I was party to at least one as an adult.

Hearing our kids being told, "Sever all ties at graduation

" and the kids knowing what that meant and laughing at us,

Taking for granted there would be more days, weeks, months and years.

-"keep me in your heart and I will stay there forever"

See you next week.

A Week of Small Blessings

My mentor, friend and creative editor, Cindy Whitman, wrote this week about looking for blessings in a FB post.

Blessings is the theme for the November Issue of Pink Magazine (you know the one with my first byline, Donna Raboni Pizzolongo).

I thought about the blessings I experienced each day that may go unnoticed.

One thing I did notice was most of mine have to do with others.

I need to do a better job of being the reason for other people in my life to be thankful.

Here are some of what I experienced this past week.

I was recognized by my Underwriters for Bosses Day with an amazing flower arrangement.

I remembered to re-order my eye liner.  I normally procrastinate until I run out.

We commuted back and forth to Columbia safely.

Jenn also painted the living rooms ceiling where we had stains from air conditioner leaks.  It looks amazing ! And thank you to her phone-a-friend consultant, Meg !!

Jenn was able to find my iPhone lists that had suddenly disappeared off my phone.

On a kind of crazy day, my person (as in Gray's Anatomy with Christina and Meredith), Mary, had me "dance it out" when things a little crazy.  Next thing I knew, Bruno Mars "Uptown Funk" was playing in our office as we danced.....well kind of danced.

My sister received the birthday present I sent her. What else could someone wish for but a case of Reinzi Clam Sauce??

Jenn caught that I had been charged to automatically renew a magazine that I didn't want to renew.  One phone call and the issue was resolved.

I came into the office one morning and found breakfast waiting for me on my desk.

I went out to lunch with Jenn and Kathy.  The name of the place we went to is called Fat Patties. The food was amazing! I had a turkey burger with caramelized onions, mushrooms and blue cheese. YUM! They also make a great Bloody Mary!!

This morning when I woke up, I once again felt blessed for the lovely view I can see from the recliner in my bedroom.

I woke up to the sound of the wind.  The temperature had dropped.

I had the sliders open most of the day to enjoy the fresh air.

Finally, I had to close them because I was getting cold.

What a southern weenie I have become.

See you next week.

So Who Am I ?

I finished my first interview and submitted it to the Pink Magazine Editor.  She made some revisions which were not major (yeah!). It was still my interview.  I learned from the edits which is always good.  It will help me when my next assignment comes up.

The next question I was asked was how did I want my byline to appear?

My byline?  My first byline?

I had to think about it quite a bit.

Who am I?

I was born Donna Marie Raboni.

The name Rita was added when I was confirmed.

I got married.

I became Donna Pizzolongo or Donna R Pizzolongo or Donna Raboni Pizzolongo.

The Rita part faded after Confirmation.

The Marie part fell by the wayside over 36 years ago.

Maybe if my middle name had been more meaningful, I would have used it more.

But Marie??

Donna Marie's came a dime a dozen in the Bronx in the 50's and 60's.

Donna was actually 5th on the list of most popular names in 1960.  Now, it is number 3,514 on the list and according to google is facing extinction.

About 20 years ago, a parent came up to me at Jenn's elementary school and asked me if I would meet her daughter.  I said "Sure, but why?'  She told me her daughter was named Donna and she had never met anyone else with her name.

From popular to extinction in 60 plus years.

Bottom line is, I like the name Donna and it is who I am.

Does that mean my daughter's name, Jennifer, will some day fade away along with the Kimberly's and Heather's of the 1980's-1990's??

The nice part is my daughter's middle name is unique.

It is Leimomi, my Mom's Hawaiian name.  When she was young she hated it.  As I predicted, now as an adult she likes her middle name.  She has grown into it.  It also reminds her of Nannie and the Hawaiian part of her heritage.

Although I have to agree, Jennifer Leimomi Pizzolongo is quite a name.  At her graduation  for her BA and Master's she did have to go to the table where unique names were written out phonetically.

Unlike my middle name, Marie, it doesn't really sound unique and catchy.  Plain and simple.

Would I have picked Donna as my name, probably not. I love the name Gianna and I would have thrown in a Hawaiian middle name.

When it came to whether to use just Raboni or Raboni Pizzolongo, I had to think about it for 24 hours.

I was Donna Raboni for 26 years.

I have been Donna Pizzolongo for 36 years.

Now that I am divorced, do I go back to Donna Raboni?

The answer was no, I am Donna Pizzolongo.  That is that is the name most people know me by.

Yesterday, I was at a Beach Shack Writers Workshop.  Picture being on Hilton Head Island, sitting outside on lovely porch with a great view, the smell of the ocean in the air and a slight breeze (just enough for me to throw a light jacket over my shoulders.

We did four writing prompt. One on advice to our younger selves, one about a tattoo, one about something we are good at and bad at and finally four truths and a lie.

During some breaks in our writing assignments, we talked about our work. I love hearing what others have written, I love sharing and talking about topics such as dialog.

We even talked about my struggle to figure out my  byline.

I finally emailed my editor, Donna Raboni Pizzolongo was my decision.

It works and it is me.

See you next week!

Another New Experience at the End of a Relaxing Weekend

This was one of those rare weekends that didn't have an endless checklist of things to do. 

Maybe having Monday off took some of the pressure off.

Friday night, we (Jenn, Mary and me) arrived home around 8:00.

After getting comfy quickly, it was time to get some snacks prepared for dinner.

Saturday was much of the same.

Talking, coffee, movies and eating. 

We all managed break time to take showers and get back into pj's.

We ordered take out food a local restaurant and played cards for a few hours.

Once again , we stayed up late talking and watching TV.

Slept in Sunday morning and then, you guessed it, coffee, talking and TV.

Mary headed back to Columbia early afternoon.

Then I had my new experience.

Earlier in the week, my Editor had asked me if I would do an interview with someone for the November issue of Pink Magazine.

After the interview, I would write it up and send it to her for review and revisions.

I met the lady I was interviewing at Starbucks. 

We talked for over an hour as I took notes I would need later.

I wanted to get it right.  I wanted to ask the right questions. I wanted to make sure to scribble down the important facts to be able and write up the interview.

I headed home and started to write.

I didn't want to let the emotions, thoughts or words start of fade.

This was also my first time using a person's actual words vs paraphrasing or working from memory.

Before I knew it, I was done.

I emailed what I had written off to my Editor.

Here are my firsts:
-first interview
-first article in print for a magazine
-first byline....YEAH !!
-first time I will be paid for something I have written.......WOO HOO !!

I hope this opens the door to other writing opportunities in addition to my blog and seeing my book through to completion.

A new experience.  Something I needed right now.

Writing is taken a bigger place in my life.  I can see a future surrounded with words.

Blogs, articles, books, the possibilities are endless. 

Ideas and facts all floating around in my head waiting to be put down on paper.

Maybe I will actually come to a time in my life, where I will have a use for that special pen I have been holding on to for a book signing!!

See you next week.