Sunday, November 25, 2018

Making Our Own Happiness


As I remember it, my Dad was a pretty happy guy.

My Mom's happiness came from being with Dad, her children (most of the time) and of course, her grandchildren.

I know that no one goes through life whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-dah everyday.

But I do think we sometimes overlook the little things that can make us happy.

I know most appreciate:

-sunrises and sunsets
-time with family and friends
-laughter

I think where we sometimes lose our way is by depending on someone else for our happiness.

I do remember my Dad telling my Mom once "I cannot be your source of happiness."

I think that was harder for her to hear then for him to say.

Mom had built her whole world around him, he was the center of her universe.

They enjoyed their time together but Dad felt they each needed to have their own interests.

Mom did start playing golfs with the ladies,  She started going to dinner with her friends.

I don't think Dad always liked Mom's new interests.

He was used to dinner on the table when he was ready.  He was used to her being around to talk to when he wanted conversation

What is the saying, "be careful what you ask for"?

I do feel happiness has to come from inside.

As I have noted in other entries, I keep a journal in which I write five good things about each day.

I have not been faithful making my daily entries the last five months. 

I need to do a better job trying to find "my happiness" again.

Although others can add to it, I have to find the source of what makes me happy on my own.

Yes, I have enjoyed beautiful sunsets, unexpected gifts and some of the simple joys that are part of each day.

Still at times, I struggle.  I know I am struggling.  I know those close to me are aware of it too.

Added to the ever lengthening list of goals is to get back into the habit of writing my five good things list daily.

Trying not to let others impact my mood.

Once again, feeling blessed for each day I am given and not taking it for granted.

I know I have joy and happiness still inside me.

I just have to find it.

From my new favorite source of quotes:

"What day is it?”
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.
― A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh


See you next week!



Sunday, November 18, 2018

The Thanksgivings I Miss


The preparation always began the night before the big meal.

The shopping had been done during the week prior

Mom was the commander in the kitchen.  Anyone around for the holiday was part of the prep staff.

The smell of the chopped onions sauteed in butter filled the air as the base for the creamed spinach, creamed onions and sauteed mushrooms.The sausage was also cooking while we tore up the bread for stuffing. Shrimp was cleaned and cocktails sauce prepared.

The rest of the meal would be assembled the next day, when we returned from the parade.

Most times the fourth Thursday in November had a chill in the air or was down right cold.

Dad would load us all in the station wagon and off we went.

Trying to find a parking spot was always a challenge.  Dad would drive around looking for a free parking spot.  He always manager to maneuver into the smallest spots with ease.

Going to the parade was a treat.  We knew not to ask for any souvenirs or hot chocolate or big pretzels or roasted chestnuts. Mom and Dad just didn't have the extra money for those treats and we kids knew it.

The wind would whip down the streets of NYC through the tall buildings.

We would dress in layers. Even though we would bundle up, it was still cold.  Very cold.

Dad always took us to where the parade began uptown.  It would make our escape route that much easier.

The marching bands, the clowns and best of all was the balloons.

Since the parades purpose was to bring Santa to Macy's, the end of the parade was always Santa's float.

The minute Santa passed us, the race was on.  Dad herded us back to our station wagon in record time.  His goal, be back home by the time Santa had reached Macy's at 34th Street on TV.

Most years, he succeeded in his goal.

Back at home, the table was set.

The shrimp cocktail was placed in front of each place setting.

And this is when Mom worked her magic.

Various vegetables with sauces were finished, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, turnips were all somehow ready on time and came to the table piping hot.

I never figured out her ability to time all of the parts of the meal with such accuracy.

Finally, it was time to dig in.

Once the appetizers were done, they were quickly cleared away.

Next was the procession of the foods that made up the maim meal.

Dad of course carved the turkey.

I felt like the meal should last hours based on the time it took to prepare.

And it did go on much longer than our normal dinner.

The table was cleared and we all took a breather.

Meanwhile, as great a cook as my mother was when it came to cleaning up as she cooked Mom was a total failure.

The kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it.  A disaster area.  There wasn't an ounce of counter space to be seen.

During the break between dinner and dessert, the girls tackled the kitchen.

Mom's job was over and ours had just begun.

It took a long time to pack up the left overs and store them in the basement fridge, clean the floating potato skins out of the sink and make sure the turkey carcass had been picked clean.

Time to wash the dishes.  It was done in assembly line format.  Wash, dry and put away.  The good china stored away in the hutch for the next holiday.

Finally, the coffee was made and the apple, pumpkin and mince pies were all brought to the table.  Fresh made whipped cream in a bowl and vanilla ice cream all made an appearance.  If I was lucky, Chocolate Cracker Pudding had been heated and was ready to serve with it's sugar and butter sauce melting down it's sides.

The air was filled with conversation, laughter and the sound of the wood cracking in the fireplace in the sunken living room.  We could see the fire going from our dining room table.  And finally the sound of Christmas music could be heard from the stereo.

Perfection.

I have thought from time to time about how much I would love be able to go back to one of those holiday dinners.

Life changes, people move and we lose our loved ones.

This year, Jenn and I will get up and watch the parade.

We will put a fire in the fireplace.

Our dinner will be simple and starch laden.  Turkey breast, corn, real mashed potatoes, cranberries (in the shape of the can) and Stove Top stuffing will be our meal.

We won't use the good china.

There will not be a selection of pies for dessert.

I love pumpkin pie. Usually, I buy a cheap one and have one slice and pitch the rest.  I know it's a waste but I cannot have the rest of the pie in my house.  Otherwise within a week, I will have eaten the whole thing!!

We will have finished decoration by Thursday, we can finally turn on the tree lights.

We will watch football, listen to Christmas music and I am sure find a Christmas movie to watch.

Not exactly like the Thanksgiving dinners of my past.

But I will as I have every fourth Thursday of November, give thanks for those who have added to my life.

For the memories and the blessing I have received, I am truly thankful.


See you next week.



Sunday, November 11, 2018

Maybe the fourth time is the charm?


I have written three drafts of blog entries for this week.

This is attempt number four.

The first was about views of life from my windows.

The second was about dreams.

The third was about whether it is better to know or not know about life events.

Each entry had possibilities.  I got stuck on trying to engage the five senses into each entry.

Sight, taste, touch, smell and hearing.

I want to put you all in a scene and make you feel like you are there.

I wanted to keep the entry light since I have been writing some heavier entries lately.

I couldn't come up with anything humorous.

I went back to the five senses.

Sight:
I could write about the amazing view driving across bridges yesterday to Pooler, Georgia. I never anticipated living in a location where the views would be so amazing.  I never take them for granted.  The water, the boats, the bridges and the smell of the sea air.

Or

I could write about what it felt like to see my first byline.  (OK this was very, very exciting!!)

Touch:
I could write about wonderful feeling of waking under a lot of covers in a chilly bedroom. (My fault for not putting the heat on and ignoring the reports of a 43 degree morning).

Or

I could write about how great the hot rocks and towels felt at my pedicure.

Smell:
I could write about the scent of the plough mud that has become associated with my life in the Lowcountry. 

Or

I could write about looking forward the smell of the Christmas Wreath candle starting on Thanksgiving Day.

Hearing:
I could write about hearing the leaves rustling past my window in the breeze bringing in cooler temperatures.

Or

I could write about liking a song I had never heard before. Then finding out it was made famous by Kermit in The Muppet Movie.

Taste:
I could write about the taste of a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup on a cool night

Or

 I could write about taste of the morning, coffee with pumpkin spice creamer or the taste of the evening, Tito's Vodka with Lite Minute Maid Fruit Punch (both improve my moods equally).

But for some reason, I couldn't figure out a way to pull the five senses into an entry. 

Or did I????

See you next week.