It is what it is

I used the words in the title of this entry many times during the week.

I am not dealing with the long commute,

I do not have to do more than brush my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face, take my meds and throw on shorts and a t shirt to get ready for work each morning.

Sounds pretty easy, right?

Well,  mortgage rates are at historical lows and it is our busy season.  Purchases and refi’s piling in faster than I can assign them out.

My team is a dream team.

Dedicated, focused and giving the max effort each day.

We are all working between 15-20 hours a week of OT.

Fortunately, my team gets paid OT.

As a manager, I do not.

Last week, the closers, processors and underwriters were told they would be getting retention bonus’s.

As a manager, I do not get a retention bonus.

I made the mistake of doing some simple math.

Big mistake.

I realized how much of my base hourly rate I lose for each hour of “free” OT I work.

The results were damn depressing.

But it is a quandary.

I love what I do and I love to manage.

I am really happy my team is being compensated and the processors even get a quarterly incentive.

My teams rocks at customer service scores, they work so hard to hit goals and as a team they gel so well.

I couldn’t pick a better group of people.

I always say I am the air traffic controller and they fly the planes.

They treat me great too!

They are all keepers!

But there is no glory in being a manager.

Told to jump, you say how high?

The mortgage department beat the company fiscal year goal by June.  This in itself is impressive especially taking into consideration COVID, moving all staff to work remotely and knowing our fiscal year doesn’t end until October 31st.

In one month, the mortgage department closed 2,000 loans and for a total over $1,000,000,000.

A new company record.

I am sure there are more ambitious goals to follow.

I remind my team in the world of life/work balance  LIFE matters more!!

I need to practice what I preach and start taking some time (although at home) to catch my breath and recharge my batteries.

Although my hourly rate is comparable to minimum wage after all the extra hours, I wouldn’t pick another job to do.

I manage.

It is what I do best.

But it sure wouldn’t hurt to get just a little something extra for all the hours.

Oh well, as I said in the title

On to Monday.

See you next week.

I am trying

The days have turned to weeks followed by months.

The  house is decorated for July.  Red, white and blue throughout the house.

Soon to be followed by the end of summer into the fall.

Hallmark is showing their Christmas in July movies.

Seeing the movies makes my thoughts turn toward fall.

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year.

These past 17 weeks have provided plenty of time for thought.

I have tried to watch the news less as it upsets me. In fact,  I hate to admit it but a few mornings has left me in tears.

I like to have background noise while I work.  I listen to music and shows that make me laugh. 

I find silence deafening.

Even when I drift off to sleep ay night, I have my IPAD on with a show running in the back ground.

I usually wake during the night and shut it off.

I have had to fight moods of sadness and feeling a little depressed.

Thank goodness I have Jenn, family, friends and my team from work to keep me moving.

Some people I can be more honest with about how I am feeling. With others, I just say “I am fine” or “Doing Ok”.

Let’s be honest,  how many people really want to hear you are struggling?

While I doubt life will ever be as we used to know it. I am hoping our new normal will become easy to adjust to similar to the way we adjusted to the changes in our lives after 9/11.

I am grateful to the people who have let me ramble, cry and be honest about my feelings. Those people are few and far between. It is nothing other then the level of comfort I have established with them.

I do believe things will settle down and all of the events front and center in our lives will fade in to the past.

And personally, I can’t wait for it to begin.

See you next week.