Leaves and Cheese......2 more off "the list"

I am sure you are trying to figure out what I have crossed off my list with these two very different items...LOL.

In one day I managed to knock off another two firsts!!!!

The leaves.......I have so missed the fall and the leaves turning color since I moved south.  I have NOT missed raking the leaves once they have fallen.  In fact, that was the one job we had to do each year that I hated.  When we first moved to Pearl River, it was a fun family event.  We would rake the leaves into big piles in front of the house and would take turns diving into them or doing somersaults into them.  Even my Mom and Dad would take their turns.  The first home I owned in Pearl River had between 20-30 trees on it so you can imagine the amount of leaves I am talking about.  We had neighbors would would pretty much run out and catch each leaf as it fell from the trees so their lawn always looked pristine.  The Pizzolongo approach was a little different.......wait until every damn leaf was off the trees and then rake them on to sheets and drag them to the road. If it had rained before we got to rake them it was even worse.  Some times my brother's could get a hold of a leaf blower and that was great.

My first fall In SC, I asked a coworker when the leaves would change. She looked at me and laughed and said "you missed it".  It was around Thanksgiving and it had happened without the vibrant colors I had come to know.

Jenn and I had talked the last few years about going up to North Carolina to the Blue Ridge Parkway to see the leaves that had turned color.  Yesterday, we finally made the trip to Asheville.  First we stopped at the Biltmore.  It was built by the Vanderbilts.  It is the largest single family residence in the country.  We were going to go and see it but the $60 ticket price each made us decide against it.  We did go into the Biltmore Village to shop.  The village is where the workers and crafts people who worked on the estate lived.

Next, the leaves.  We headed to the Blue Ridge Parkway.  I was surprised the part we drove was only one lane in each direction.  It was a very curvy road!! There were look out points along the way.  The views from them were amazing!!! The mountains and valleys and colors in every hue.  I had found autumn......and the beauty of this time of year.  Jenn and I continued to point out trees to each other as if we had never seen a red or gold or orange or yellow leaf before....LOL.

Ok now to end the confusion about the "cheese" as part of this entry....LOL

Ok first let me say "I am a cheeseoholic!!!"  If I was told I could only each one kind of food for the rest of my life I would choose cheese.  My sister has promised when I die and am going to be cremated....she is going to throw a piece of cheese in the casket so I can go out of this life as a grilled cheese!!!! I have not tasted many kinds of cheese I do not like.

Oh but about the first with cheese......

I have really been following Weight Watchers very strictly and have been doing better than I have my last few attempts. Well as most of your know cheese it not really a good option and on Weight Watchers it is high in points so I am really cutting back on it...sob sob....

I am too embarrassed to tell you how much cheese I used to buy each week or eat each week for that matter.  But no more!!! No I haven't given up cheese totally but I am really eating just a fraction of what I did before.....that is huge for me!!!!

Oh but about the first......ready....drum roll......I bought some sliced cheddar cheese a few weeks ago (maybe longer than that).....and had to throw it out.  I pulled it out of the deli bag and yuk.......it had gone bad it the best way to say it and not make anyone sick.....it could have been used for penicillin.

This is a BIG victory for me.......I have never thrown out cheese before....ever.......another WW NSV (non-scale victory)!!!!!

While I do not have a picture of the nasty cheese....LOL.....

I do have a picture of some of the leaves we saw on our ride yesterday.....this was not in the Blue Ridge Parkway but in the way to Asheville.  Jenn will be sharing some of her pictures from the BRP on FB.

So Happy Fall to All and Farewell to the Cheese!!!!

See you next week!!!!

It's Only A Blip On The Map Of Life

I need to remember this.......so many of the things that happen on a daily basis.....what will they matter when I am old??

You know.....the rocking chair theory......."What will really matter at the end of my life?"  When I am sitting in my rocking chair reflecting on what was important and what was a blip on the map?

I love the movie Serendipity......there is a point in the movie when one of the characters says "the Greeks did not have obituaries......they would ask did the person have passion?"

The blips on the maps are not about passion........passion is something that lasts and leaves an impression.

My love of writing is a passion.......my love of the beach......my love of family and friends......my love of laughter........all passions.

A bad day at work......the pool at the gym being closed for repairs.....the unexpected car repair bill.......even Bob's recent bout with cancer.......all blip's on the map of my life.

There are more good days than bad at work......the pool will reopen this week.......the car repair bill will get paid off........and Bob will have his kidney removed and need no further treatment for his cancer.

But those wonderful days of beautiful sunrises or sunsets........the smell of the sauce cooking in the kitchen.......sitting at the beach and watching the waves........pure laughter.......the joy of looking at a Christmas tree all decorated.......and really good hugs from those you care about......they offset the negative blips of life.

I will remember  the kindness of others.......the small gestures that meant "I care"........the "I love you's"......the "I miss you's".......and the tears of happiness (and try not to remember the ones because of sadness or anger).

When I am gone and the question is asked "Did she have passion?"....the answer will be a resounding yes...........that is why I am working on "the list"........it will give me more things to learn, to love and to enjoy.....and maybe find new passions......you never know I might find something new that will excite me or make me laugh or open a new door for me......and that is what Chapter Three is all about.........

See you next week.....

PS #1 I continued tracking my points for Weight Watchers and was down at the scale again today!!!

PS #2 When I got to the gym yesterday the pool was closed for repairs.  When that happen in the past, I would go home.  Instead, I went in and did the circuit in the ladies gym ......twice!! It is what Weight Watchers calls a NSV (which means a non scale victory).

The Music Video and Me.....Item 5 Off My List

One thing I hate to do I draw attention to myself.......not surprised are you????

Twice a year my company, TD Bank, has town hall meetings across their footprint (from Maine to Florida).  At the opening of each of these company wide meetings they start with a video......of their employees.  The video has a cross section of employees  dancing and answering questions to fake interviews.  An example of a fake interview is asking me "what is your favorite food?" and I of course answer "cheese".  Well when the final product is done it will show someone asking me " what was your favorite gift on Christmas ever?" and then you see my response "Cheese".......get it......it's funny....

In a recent office email, employees were asked to volunteer to be in the meeting video.  Last spring, they used the "Happy " song and I have to say the video was very funny.  This time around it was Katy Perry's "Roar".  Of course as soon as I read the email I hit delete.  Not doing that I thought to myself.

And I didn't give it another thought..........

That is until I had my weekly one on one with my boss.......

She didn't ask about the video or my participation.......nope it was me opening my big mouth........when will I learn?

The conversation went like this......
Donna: oh that music video.....not a chance I am doing that...
My Boss:  wouldn't that be a great thing for your list of things you haven't done
Donna: I am not doing the music video
My Boss: you don't have to do it but you are the one who has been challenging yourself

I should have known then I was sunk......

Because she was right......I have been trying to push myself to do new things.

Then I pushed it from my mind......I had to be out of the office and work from home one day and thought I had missed video day....... I thought to myself that solves the problem....I missed it.

But NNNNNOOOO...........there were 2 days of video shooting and I was  lucky enough to be in the office the second day they were filming!!

One of my managing partners mentioned the video shoot was that day at 2:00.  She asked if I was going to do it.  I said no but then told her about my conversation with my boss.  She then said to me my boss was right and it would take another item off my list.....damn my list....ugh!!!

I thought about it through the morning and kept on saying nope not doing it.  But I could picture my boss sitting on my shoulder saying "you want to challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone don't you?"

A little before 2:00 PM, my manager partner came and asked if I was doing the video and I said "I don't think so".  Then one of her team members joined us and said "oh come on do it!".  I explained why I didn't  want to do it by pointing at my body and saying something about how I felt about the way I looked.  Her response was "but you are beautiful".  OK a raving beauty I am not.......but I have to get it through my head how others see me and not how I see myself........when will I ever get that???

So as you have guessed at 2:00, I was in the room for the video shoot.  I came in saying I was not going to dance.  The person shooting the video was very accommodating.  I didn't dance.  I sat and worked with headphones in my ears......while others in all kinds of TD green and purple hats and boas and masks......and holding tambourines and other TD noise makers danced around me while I was oblivious to all they were doing.  Then they started to decorate me....with a green hat that had lights that flashed off and on....a green or purple boa....throwing confetti on me....as I continued to work.  Then at the end I pick up a green tambourine that had lights that flashed off and on and shake it.

The whole thing only took a few minutes and it was done.  There was talk of doing something else.......at that point I said I was done and fortunately it was the end.

I can only hope I end up on the cutting room floor.

So if you want to challenge me to do something it appears you only have to remind me of "the list".....LOL!!

The video will be shown here in Lexington this week.....unfortunately, I will not be in the office that day so I will miss my screen debut.....darn it....no red carpet.......no paparazzi.......I will just have to live without having that experience!!

The work I was doing during the video......here is a picture of what I was writing in my notebook:

P.S.#1- Another good week at Weight Watchers- I tracked my food again this week and had another good week.  Thank you Jenn for reminding me to track everything !!!!


P.S. #2- On another note:  most of you know Bob was diagnosed with kidney cancer last week.  I have not written anything but one post about this on my family's FB page because we don't know much right now.  We will be meeting with his Dr's this week and will hopefully have more answers. I will keep you posted,  Please keep Bob and Jenn and I in your prayers as we learn what is next...

See you next week.....

What You Might Think Is A Surprising Example To Follow.....

While I am writing this is I am watching the Red Sox game......Derek Jeter just got a base hit and left the game.  I will admit I had tears in my eyes watching him leave the field.

In case you don't know (and I don't know how you couldn't).....I am a die hard Yankees fan!! Today is a sad day for me.......I will not have the pleasure of watching Derek Jeter play for the Yankees again.....

I have followed his career since he came up to the majors all those years ago.  When I lived in NY I went to many games at the old Yankee Stadium and when I moved south I made several trips with friends to Florida to see the Yank's in spring training games.

So what have I learned from that 40 year old .....crap I was out of high school before he was born....ugh!!

Watching him this last season, saying goodbye, knowing the time to leave, seeing by the calendar that time was running out and showing how to exit with class........I have learned a lot about how to move on with the changes in life.

Letting go of the past, saying goodbye to Chapter Two of my life and moving ahead not completely sure of what Chapter Three holds in store......it is a big change and there have been some tears.  Hey.... if Jeter can get chocked up in his final game at Yankee Stadium I think I am entitle to a few tears as I move forward and occasionally look at my past.

I can't or won't share some of the things I learned or experienced this week but I now have some of the answers I was seeking.  Tough answers and many were what I anticipated but had hoped would not be the case.  The information I now have and how it will impact my future weighs heavily on me.

Does this information change my plans......possibly...........right now I think it has more impact on the timing of the future changes......I will just have to see how it plays out. Let's just say I have so much to sort through and figure out.  But I guess it is better than being in limbo and not having the answers......right?

Everyone's weeks have their ups and downs....some are minor like having to change a pedicure appointment.......others are more serious......such as how do I go about planning my retirements some day and will I still get to my dream location.....the beach.  Well, the answer appears to still be yes to both of those but it will take some adjusting and refiguring.

That mountain that I said I was climbing in my recent posts.......well I slipped a little down hill this week.....but I grabbed the rope in my reach and held tight so I didn't slide too far back into the valley. Once again continuing my climb.

So thanks Jeter for teaching me about moving on and saying goodbye........who would have thought good old #2.....the Captain would be an example I can emulate.......moving on to the next part of my life with a smile and a few tears.........

Trying To Make Some Progress.....

As I work my way back up the mountain that I referenced last week......I decided to try some of the changes that I have heard about for years......

I now eat my dinner on a salad plate.  Boy those suckers are a lot smaller than a dinner plate!!!!

Jenn and I took the time to break down things like pistachio nuts and crackers into single serve size packages.  It is amazing what a real serving size looks like!! We even weighed the things that had a certain weight as a serving size. First, it makes sense to get the serving size right. Second,  it is so much easier to grab a single serving than to guesstimate.

I also made a big salad and took it several days for lunch. And I presliced tomato's to go with my alternative bagels from publix (low in calories and high in protein) and my weight watcher cream cheese (in a premeasured packet).

Jenn and I went out to eat after the gym today and I chose the 4 vegetable plate. OK here is where my southernness is starting to come out......I had cabbage, collards, lima beans and black eyed peas.....it was really good and I sure didn't feel deprived.

I am also getting out of the house earlier in the morning because of preparing my breakfast and lunch at night.  In the morning, I can just grab and go!!

I am really looking closely at my food choices.  I love soup and have found some soups that I really like.  I make them and then add extra vegetable for bulk ( I love my soups chunky).  It is getting to be that time of year when there is nothing better than the smell of soup cooking in the house (except the smell of garlic and onions in a little olive oil.....nothing beats that smell in the kitchen).

All in all I felt good about the week......

Did my hair get any thicker......no!

Did I get down to my birth weight this week.....nope!!

Have I gotten over the fear of being alone......um.... not!!!

I chose another path up the mountain......the top is very far away.......but at least now I can see the valley below me instead of sitting at the bottom and wanting to quit.

Those of you who reached out to me this week.......you helped me get off my sorry fat ass and start the long journey back........thank you for in some cases dragging me kicking and screaming......your kind words of encouragement got me going again......

And I know..... as in the words of Robert Frost...."I have miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep"......

Thanks for the company on the path......I really needed it this week......

See you next week......

It Was Bound To Happen.......

You knew it was coming.....I knew it was coming........

I had been feeling so good and positive for the last few months (at least most of the time)........there was due to be a down slide......

I know there are people that go around whistling zippy dee do dah out their butts everyday....at least that is the rumor....I myself do not know anyone in the perpetual state of happiness......but some do hit the mark on a more regular basis.......

Some comments that have been made to me just hit me at the wrong moment......as I put down what some of these comments were.....please do not take it personally if I use them in this entry.......I am not mad at anyone......it just gave me a lot to think about and maybe to work on.......

For example, I was told that people stay together when they get older because it is better than being alone.......or I have the best husband in the world and everyday with him is just wonderful (there were a lot of those from various people).......or once I am on my own I would drop 100 pounds......

Now none of these were said to hurt me.........none of these were said intentionally just as part of a conversation but it was just added to my down slide......

I went for a pedicure Thursday and had an ingrown toenail that needed to be worked on that left me in tears......I had my face waxed because it was getting fuzzy.........Friday, I had my haircut and cried over how thin it looked to me......by yesterday I was just a mess......not rock bottom but getting close......

Add to that the stress at home and ........you get the picture????

I knew I had to pull myself out of the downward spiral I was in.......

I decided to regroup and get back on track for the 9 zillionth time......and in doing that I found my strength.....

Here is how I see my life:

1.  Yes, I will be alone.  But that doesn't mean I can't be happy.  I can make friends and I do have a lot of friends.  I may not be able to get on Noah's Ark but that OK......I will just bring an umbrella and hope for the best.

2.  Losing 100 pounds......I cannot even fathom the number of pounds I need to lose......I can only think in 5 pound increments.......the good news is I went back to Weight Watchers today.....the last time I was there we had our rare SC snow on the ground.  The lady who weighed me greeted me as if I had been there last week.....she said "now don't be surprised if you are up on the scale since you have been gone for a while"....well guess what....I was down at the scale and even got another 5 pound sticker!!!!  After that I went to the gym and jogged for over an hour in the pool and even though I haven't loaded my music on my aquabeat yet I was able to listed to sports radio.

3.  The statement.......I have the best husband in the world.....well ladies if you do....thank God and be grateful.....not much more I can say about that except I envy you......

4.  My ingrown toenails.....OK that one I am blaming on my Mom and years of wearing some really ridiculous shoes (yes even I wore stilettos at one point in my life).

5.  My thinning hair.......OK I am not bald......and I need to get over it....with work each day it does look full and the highlights help not make it look so thin.....what the heck else can I do?  But for those of you will a full head of thick hair....treasure it!!

There have been a few up moments in the last few weeks that I need to note as I search my way back out of this hole I have dug for myself.

My friend, Crickett, once again found something she thought I would like.......it was a book called "I Still Have To".....it has places to write down things I want to do, dreams and places to sketch ideas (OK the sketching should be a hoot since I can only draw stick figures and even those I don't do well).

My sister and brother-in-law sent me an early birthday gift........they know me so well!!!!

I found an old Target gift card and was able to buy a piece of furniture that I saw advertised on sale.  It will be going with me for Chapter 3.

Chapter 3 is moving along.......maybe not as fast as people think it should but at the pace I feel comfortable with and that is really all that matters.

Several years ago, I was at a co-workers son's funeral.  The Pastor said something that has stuck with me all  this time ........"How can you appreciate a mountain top if you have  never been in a valley?" What great words.......the last few weeks I have been in a valley.......it is time to climb back up the mountain........

See you next week.......

R & R.......and other stuff.....

I have probably told everyone I could but just in case I missed you......I took off my first full week since last December.  I was so ready for the break....just ask my coworkers.......

I did  my normal errands over the weekend and late Sunday headed for the beach.  Four wonderful days of talking, golf cart rides, waking up to the smell of the ocean, talking, laughing, solving the world's problems, seeing beautiful sunrises, talking, enjoying a drink while sitting looking at the ocean, outdoor showers (yes I did this)  and did I mention talking.......

It is great when you have people that you can be yourself with.....they know you and love you warts and all.....it can also be gut wrenching as they ask the tough questions and in some ways force you to look at yourself and your life and then in the end help guide you toward what's next.

As I crossed each of the three bridges toward their home, I could feel the stress leaving my body.  No work......no bills......none of the issues I face each day........

I only thought of work once and that was for a conf call on Monday.....other than that it was total me time.

I left there feeling rejuvenated and still had a few more days off too!!

I was home about 5 minutes when the stress returned.  Ugh......

But it's OK.....I feel more in control and am finally learning no response is better than always feeling a need to give a comment back.  As many of your know this is a major challenge for me!!!

Once home I decided to be lazy....slept late......took naps......read.....played games on my IPad.......I went to the gym but not first thing in the morning.......I watched football (but turned off the sound...lol)......I chatted with friends on FB......I met my sister and brother-in-law for lunch  and we had a great time and she bought me a gift.....something I love......all in all it has been lovely.

It 's hard to believe it is September 1st.......how did that happen???? When I was in NY, this was the time of year I loved......the fall......leaves turning colors......sweater weather.......the heat of the summer gone.  Well, in South Carolina, the heat will still be here, the leaves do not turn until November (if they turn at all) but we do have football.  God, how I love football!!! I am a loyal fan no matter how bad my team plays.....yes we got our asses kicked last Thursday.....but there is always next week for the Gamecocks......and after all these years in the south yelling GO COCKS is as normal as saying how is the weather.  And this coming weekend my G Men.....Big Blue.....the NY Giants start their season.  I can watch football Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday.....how great is that!!! Now I would like time to slow down just a bit because before I know it.......it will be Super Bowl Sunday......

Just one more update and something for us all to think about.......I wrote about my niece, Jill, last week and her battle with MG.  She was released from the hospital this weekend.  As she and her boyfriend Tim drove home from the hospital, Jill started to sing in the car.  Then  she caught herself and started to cry. She realized that because of the MG she had not been able to sing.  So these were happy tears......Jill is making her way back......her appetite has improved and she is heading back to work tomorrow.  I am so proud of her!!!! and Tim too for hanging in for what must have been a trying week....in case you haven't figured it out......we Raboni women are a bit of a challenge!!!!!

So there you have it......the week that was.....the beach.....football.......and a girl singing in the car.......as the days grown shorter and night comes earlier.......we need to remember the summer and all it gave to us......in the form of love and laughter and fun.......

Sorry this post is a day late......just part of me being lazy.........

Here is a picture of the gift my sister gave me......I love it....pineapples.....they remind me of Mom and are very welcoming.....

Oh and one more thing.......I did change the web address for this blog.....due to some family issues that were brought to my attention last week.

See you next week......