Christmas Eve

The best part of Christmas Eve was finding out at the last minute that Jenn would have the day off !! We didn't do a lot that day but did have fun going to Big Lots to shop...the rule was we could not spend more than $10 on each other...it was not an easy task....later we had our traditional dinner of appetizers...baked clams, cheese sticks, etc....the tree looked great (Jenn and I handled the decorating) and the outside of the house looked pretty (thanks to some friends who came over a few weeks before Christmas and helped me decorate)....my friends tactfully suggested the less is more approach and it was the right way to decorate for this very different Christmas......in years past our house resembled the house in Christmas Vacation....definitely over the top and I am sure many people drove by and thought "oh my God how tacky can you get" but we loved it....but that was another time now past....later on Christmas we spent in the bedroom ...Jenn on the bed and me in the recliner both playing on our computers and watching "It's A Wonderful Life"...we even let Jeter come in a keep us company.....not the most outstanding Christmas Eve even but it was still OK because Jenn and I hung out together...

More time to think...

The original plan was to be in NY/NJ for Christmas. It would have been the first time in 13 years that all of the Raboni's would be under on roof for Christmas Eve. All the Raboni's under one roof.....wow.....until my father died there was no place else I would have ever spent Christmas Eve except my parents house. My Dad had the ability to make you feel the magic of Christmas....something I miss. Anyway we had plans...they included not gifts but lots of cooking and eating....what a surprise. We would drive up on Wednesday the 23rd be there the 24th and 25th and head home on the 26th before the "magic" of us all being together started to fade.

A few weeks before Christmas, my dream of a family gathering began to fade. It seemed unlikely Jenn would be able to be off on Christmas Day. She had requested the 24th and 25th off when she was hired but the company reneged.

I didn't think it was right to leave Jenn home alone for Christmas. Bob didn't want to stay in Columbia with nothing to do. He chose to spend Christmas in NY with his family....

Choosing them over us....that hurt. More for me to think about....

The Staring Point

The week of Thanksgiving is usually a time of anticipation and anxiety. The anticipation of family gatherings and the anxiety of family gatherings. This year was different....no family obligations and Bob was headed to NY. After being diagnosed with cancer in September I felt it was important he spend a holiday with his family. Jenn and I had to work the day after Thanksgiving so no travels were planned. We had several invitations but decided to "go it alone" just the 2 of us.

Throw in my 54th birthday.....that was remembered by my daughter and friends but forgotten by my husband added to make this a week where I started to think about "ME".

Jenn and I got up and watched the parade. It was a relaxing day but so unlike any of the other Thanksgivings I had spent before. There was no rushing to get ready, no guests scheduled to arrive and no time spent on the road going to any one's house. At dinner time it was just Jenn and me with a turkey breast, stove top stuffing, mashed potato's and corn. Oh and cranberry sauce for me.... We ate at the table and had our own celebration. I was thankful to have Jenn sitting at the table with me. We watched "It's A Wonderful Life" and went to bed with me thinking about my life and how I had gotten to this point and if it was the way I wanted my life to continue......lots to think about......