I am making plans fast and furious......Chapter Three has begun........although I won't be able to get deep into the chapter for a few years I am still planning and getting things in order.
But you know what I worry about most? (This will shock you....LOL)
What if I die before I get to live out my dreams? This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. I know some of you are automatically thinking.....if you are dead you will not know you missed out on your dreams.....but I would hate to not have to opportunity.
These thoughts have pushed me to redouble my efforts to get healthy. I really pushed hard at the gym today while I jogged for an hour in the pool (but did my aquabeat waterproof IPOD have to quit when I was only 15 minutes into my jogging?). I have already made my salad for lunch tomorrow. I am going to get back on the scale next Sunday and focus on my daily points and try to avoid carb's. I purchased a Fitbit which will help keep track of steps and I will finally be able to see how far I am going when I jog in the pool (I usually figure it has to be a few miles).
I don't want to die before the things I have gotten for my future 2nd bathroom get to be used.....all in a lighthouse theme....what a surprise. Or the dishes with the seafood design. Or the bedspread for my next bed which will be one of those beds with the top and bottom that go up and down. I am planning and looking and searching for the things that will make my next stop home.
But I don't want to die before that happens........
I had all my blood work done recently and it all came back good. I feel good. I am getting more sleep at night than I have before (but I do hate going to bed earlier at night). I have looked for more healthy recipes on Pintrest and wow there are a lot out there. I think my attempt to try new things has also helped me keep a positive attitude. My home is not the sanctuary I would like it to be. I do try to find some peace and solitude when I sit in my recliner in my bedroom. I look at beach locations I like, I look at homes and condo's and try to envision myself there. The vision of that life is so real I can almost touch it.
I keep getting reminded that I will be alone and that does scare me.......I have never really been alone in my life. But I will be OK........I think.......
I have be reminded of my failures and the fact I have been less than successful in my weight loss efforts.....but I do have the ability to bounce back. I still believe in me........
I talk to friends about the future and their plans.....retirement....relocation......freedom......and I cannot tell a lie......I am envious.......maybe because in order to fulfill my dreams I will have to work longer than most of the people I know that are my age.......and that is when the fear of dying lurks it's ugly head......
Well to all the naysayers.....guess what???? My sorry ass will be sitting on a patio someday in the morning drinking coffee where I can smell the ocean........I will be able to watch the sun rise while sitting on the beach.......I will be able to spend my days writing as a career......I will get to live the life I was meant to live.....
With all I am doing now to get back on track......I hope I can live out my dreams.......NO...... I know I will.........
Here are some of the views I plan to see daily no matter what beach location I end up at.....
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