Gaining A Sense of Humor While Losing Weight......I Guess I Can Be Funny.....

My sense of humor is not for everyone.......it can be sarcastic and I guess at times New Yorkerish (is there such a word?).  As I am losing weight, I am gaining my sense of humor back.  Last weeks entry about the weight on my driver's license got a lot of positive feedback and laughs.  I love to laugh and love to make people laugh.  I do occasionally use "off color" language to make a point and I know that can bother some people but I have to be me and if the word fits I use it.

Today at my Weight Watcher meeting, I had to get up to get another 5 pound star.  My leader asked me how it felt?  I then broke into a 2 minute stand up comedy routine.  Everything from I wore make-up to the meetings for everyone else's benefit, to telling them about my goal to weigh less than what it says on my driver's license so I will no longer appear on "wanted" posters for the FBI to how much more confident I was feeling.....so basically I just rambled on and on.  They laughed and applauded when I was done and I then had the nerve to bow to their applause.  OK have I lost my mind or found myself???

I didn't even get into getting my face waxed so my face looked thinner and I stopped looking like one of the Smith Brothers.

My older brother can be my toughest critic but also will heap on the praise when warranted.  He called me yesterday to say last weeks blog was one of the funniest he had read and called me Erma Bombeck.  Comparing me to her was a HUGE compliment!!!!

So if I feel this way after losing 37.2 pounds what the hell am I going to be like when I hit 50 or 75 pounds??? This could be scary for everyone I know.......LOL.

To think I have taken almost 150 pounds of pressure off my poor knees (4 pounds of pressure for each pound) and I have lost the equivalent of 150 sticks of butter or quarter pounders (which ever you prefer to use for comparison) is amazing even to me......but while losing this weight and I know I have so much more to go........I am seeing changes in me......more than just physical but mental and emotional and in confidence.....so it is not just about the number on the scale it is about the transformation I am going through.

So when I hit 50 pounds gone or 75 pounds gone, I will have to update my stand up routine in order to keep my Sunday morning friends entertained. But I have time to work on the new material.

I have to say that while I was standing up there thinking I was a cross between Joan Rivers and Roseann Barr........inside my head there was a voice saying"what the hell are you doing???"......you know what I was doing????? I was being the old me.......someone I haven't seen for a while.......in fact I hardly recognize her.....but she sure is more fun to be around.......

PS I have to continue to thank my friends and family for their support....

This week I went to lunch with 2 co-workers who helped me when I panicked about eating out by finding me a lunch I could eat.

My friend, Crickett, once again found something I could use......a magnetic pad that I can hang on the fridge where I can plan my meals for the week.

And Jenn.....yes there is always Jenn......reminding me to track.......encouraging me.......being positive and supportive......I don't know if I would have been this successful without her.

My Driver's License Weight.....

One of the first things I had to  when I moved from New York to South Carolina was get a drivers license.

I walked confidently into Dept of Motor Vehicles (or DMV (that's what we called it in NY) in  SC it is listed under the Dept of Public Safety) ready to get my SC license.  Eye test took a few tries.  The lady who took my picture asked if I liked it or wanted a retake.......that was the first hint I was no longer in New York...LOL....a retake in NY is unheard of !!! But also on the application the normal questions sex, height, hair color, eye color and weight.......WHAT.......weight?????????????  In New York, you did not have your weight on your drivers license.  What the hell did they need my weight for??? If a police officer pulled me over was he going to pull out a scale and check my weight?????

So I did what I am sure the majority of ladies do........I lied!!!! Yes, I admit I did not put my true weight on the application.  I did get nervous......I was waiting for the lady taking care of me to either laugh or wheel out the doctor scale and tell me to step up or announce over the loud speaker "Guess what Donna Pizzolongo wants us to believe she weighs??" and then break into laughter like the Peanut's characters.....

But it gets worse.....now I have my CWP (Concealed Weapon Permit.....OK no comments about gun permits and hating the 2nd amendment please....this is my personal decision) anyway.....guess what weight they use....yes my drivers license weight!!

Then I got my Utah permit (OK it allows me to carry concealed in more states.......another personal decision).....guess what weight they use......you got it.

I know I have been asked for my license at stores and other places as a form of ID like when I went to vote....I haven't  heard any snickers as I walk away or seen my picture hanging up in the post office for lying about my weight but I can assure you that once I am below that darn number......I will be getting a new license free from the lie that has existed for the last 15 years.....

It's starting to feel like that permanent record we all supposedly have from kindergarten that follows us through life!!

Well, my goal this year is to finally weigh less than the lie on my driver's license!!!  I think I can do this.....I am only   .6 of a pound from being down 35 pounds ( I hoping to reach that goal next week).

I have a long way to go to get to that drivers license weight....LOL..... you must be wondering what the hell weight I put down....I will never tell....or not until I am way below that weight.

But hopefully this time next year the Dept of Motor Vehicles, SLED,  the FBI and any other government agency that might have a copy of my driver's license, CWP or Utah permit will all be happy to know I am no longer being dishonest about my weight......until then I will drive very slowly and obey all traffic laws to the nth degree.

I am sure right now you would all love to see my drivers license....well not a chance pal.....it is between me, the DMV and God........

New Year, New Reslutions, New Underwear.......

Well, 2014 ended with some positives.....weight loss, enjoyable holidays, Bob well enough to travel to NY to visit his family and a lot of focus on Chapter 3.  I wrote a lot in the two books I am working on......one fiction and one non-fiction. I have stuck with my Rosetta Stone lessons and am actually starting to understand Italian.  My list of firsts I am trying to do has been going well too!!

2015......
The New Year started quietly.  Just watching the ball drop in New York on TV.  I didn't mind starting the year in this manner......I actually enjoyed it.

My resolutions may come off as selfish and maybe they are......most of them are about your truly....

1, Continue to focus on weight loss is first on my list.  I have been more successful the last 3 1/2 months of 2014 then I have been in years!!

2.  Setting aside a specific time for writing each week.  If I want to try and get published then I need to get serious and dedicated to weekly writing.

3.  Continue to try new things as often as possible.  The more I do means I will have more material for my book "The :List" (that is the working title).

4.  Try new meal ideas.

5.  Continue to work on my independence......table for one......going to events as a single......getting used to a world with it  just being me.

6.  Continued focus on Chapter 3.....Chapter 3.....Chapter 3.

7.  And this should have been first on this list......more time with family and friends, more laughter, more time having fun, also knowing that my job is important but it is not my life.  I love my job but need to know when to stop for the day and that it my problem that I have a hard time letting go and need to realize somethings can be done tomorrow......

Well, I think that is sufficient list of resolutions....don't you agree??

As my weight loss progresses I can feel it in my clothes.  I have some tops in smaller sizes so I am able to get by and loose tops are not  too bad to wear.  My pants are getting looser too and that can be a problem.  I am not going to buy new slacks yet.  I will get a few new pairs when I lose another maybe 30 pounds or so.  But underwear......I had to break down and buy some new ones.....in a smaller size......OK they still might be confused with a small parachute but they are smaller folks!!!!!!! Although my ass doesn't appear any smaller you know what I saw today when I looked down at the ground????? Ready..... my toes......yes my toes......which means my stomach is not longer blocking my view of my feet......OK the boobs still take up part of the view but I could see my pretty painted toes. So since my stomach is going down in size there is less to hold those undies in place.  No, I am not shopping at Victoria Secret for the unmentionables....I order them online but a smaller size is a smaller size.  And did you know undies can come in colors other than black and beige??? Yes they come in navy and pink and prints...LOL....and yes I have all of those now.

One last thing.......I really love my Sunday Weight Watcher meeting......I love that I do not know anyone in the class but have formed friendships.  Today, I went early because historically the first meeting for the new year is usually very crowded.  I walked in the door 15 minutes early and was greeted by a group of members yelling Happy New Year which made me laugh. During the meeting I admitted to being a "cheese addict" and announced to the group I had to buy new underwear due to my weight loss which made everyone laugh.  Then I hear a person at the meeting talking about doing a triathlon and another about races she has done.  I said I can't wait for the day I can do a 5K.  The lady who does triathlons said to me....."When you are ready I will do it with you!!".....I started to cry......not tears of sadness....they were tears of happiness....someone believed in me and was willing to reach out to me.  Toward the end of the class I raised my hand and gave a synopsis of the meeting from the time I walked in.....everyone laughed and agreed it was what makes the Sunday group special.  My leader said she had seen me get teary and was glad to know why and that it was for a good reason.  As I was leaving the meeting I heard others talking about the class doing a 5K together....I am getting scared but do believe one day I will be ready to take those steps......in 2015???? I am not sure.....but you never know.......

Happy New Year and see you next week......