This post may be a long one so if you are not in the mood to read something long skip it.........I saw the best and the worst in people this morning within a few shorts hours..... I will start with the worst end with the best. I was waiting in a parking spot as Jenn was getting ready to run into a store. A big van tried several times to pull into the spot next to me and several times almost hit my car. I watched her park and miss my car by an inch. I guess she didn't like me watching me so when she got out of the car she started screaming at me, gave me the finger and screamed I was a fat ass as she walked across the street with a lot of people watching. I never got out of the car and did nothing but stare at her. The pain she caused me was both physical and emotional........but to try and balance out that negative story here's the good part of the post.......I was at the gym ( yes fat ass was at the gym)..... I was jogging in the pool and I noticed a lady of one race in a one lane trying to swim a single lap in the pool. A man of another race got in her lane and talked to her showing her strokes.......within a few minutes she had swam 3/4 of the lap far more than what she had done on her earlier attempts......as I watched her moving down the lane line in my head I kept saying "come on come on you can do it".....she was close but not quite there......I jogged over to her and told her I was watching and she was amazing ......the smile on her face said it all.......when I was getting out of the pool after jogging for 75 minutes I saw the man who had been giving her the pointers........I told him I thought he was great for what he did.......he said she will do it next time. So there you have it two interactions in one I felt joy and the other pain.......the lady who called me fat ass has no idea what I have been through or about my efforts but in a split second she made me feel like a failure.......I am trying to get her comments out of my head as it try to accept this is how the world continues to see me.......obviously I can't walk around with an old picture and say really??? Look at where I have come from......and although I have shed some tears over that comment ......I am also thinking of the lady who swam 3/4 of a lap......she WILL do it.......and so will I..........
While there are times I have issues with social media (the ugly political posts)....yesterday, for me was a day to recognize the good side of social media. In the 27 hours since the original entry on FB, I have had 36 likes, 17 loves, 1 "oh my" face and 1 crying face. In addition, there have been 31 comments. I have had likes and comments from people I have known through out my life......family, friends, elementary school friends, high school classmates and people who I have worked with at various times during my long work history. I also read my post to my Weight Watcher class today and their reaction was overwhelming.
What I have learned is beside my big ass (I can't deny it) and the fact that according to any weight charts I am overweight (fat)......I have never denied it and guess what..... I can look in the mirror and worse than that I get to see me naked (Yikes).....those facts aside.....I have learned that others see I have a big heart too......and beauty is not just the outside of a person......it is the inside that matters too. As someone said in my meeting today, I am just trying to get the outside match the inside......
Although it was a tough day yesterday, I think of 3 film quotes:
In the movie, "PollyAnna", the preacher says to PollyAnna at the end of the movie "we looked for the good in people and we found it".
And in "The Wizard of Oz", the Wizard says to the Tin Man, "Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable" and "A heart is not judged by how much you love but by how much you are loved by others."
I found the good in the man helping someone else in the pool.
I once again was reminded about love and my heart by the responses to what transpired in the parking lot incident. I guess my heart is full and that was what turned the day around for me.
Just one more note, the "fitbit".......yesterday, I had 12 out of 12 hours of +250 steps......I hit the highest number of steps so far and this week I walked over 10 miles......not too shabby for a person who wasn't so focused on walking a few weeks ago......yay me !!!
Oh and I love you guys who read this blog and support my efforts!!!!
Happy Super Bowl Sunday!!!!!!
See you next week........
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