And yet there are some obstacles still on my path.
While not going into detail, I have to hope that in the end things will smooth out. And I will end up where I am supposed to be, doing what I have dreamt about for a long time.
Most of the struggles are in my head and maybe a bit in my heart.
Today was not a stellar day at the scale. I had a few very good weeks and then I stumble. I need to find my way back into the zone I was in. I am doing my steps and my fitbit is doing it's job reminding me to get off my ass. I was without my microwave for two weeks. Not having it put me at a disadvantage as far as my healthy eating. I prep cook most of my veggies and protein and just pop them in the microwave. Not having use of that appliance made things a challenge to say the least..
Fortunately, it is back up and running again. And I spent this morning steaming veggies for the week.
I have been told that stress can impact weight loss and I have had more than my share of that lately. Also, my sleep patterns suck. I doze early then wake up. I try to fall back to sleep and end up waking up too early. Last Friday, my dog woke me up at 4:00AM. I decided I was up so why not shower. I knew I wouldn't fall back to sleep so I camped out in my recliner and watched the news. Imagine my shock when Jenn woke me up and it was 7:15!!!! I went from being up too early to waking up late....ugh!!!
I guess I am also struggling at heading toward the end of my career. A zillion years ago, I was given my first retirement notice and it said I could retire 12/1/2020. When you are in your 20's that is so far away you can't imagine that day every getting here. No, I am not retiring on 12/1/2020. I will be working past that date. I don't mind because I do like my job. But there are times when I realize just about everyone I work with is younger than me. Yes, I have been working longer than some of them have been alive BUT I do have value, experience and can still make a contribution. My team loves me....most days and after coffee.
I didn't get the chance to see how my Dad would have worked through this part of his life since he was gone long before he was ready to retire. My Mom kept busy but she wasn't looking that within 10 years she would have ended her work career.
I wish I had Dad as an example and for counsel. I am not worried about what I will do when I retire because there will be more time for reading and writing and seminars and social events.
I think it is the quickness at which time is passing that is scary and amazing at the same time.
The "ME" time I desire will finally be here. But until then......I want to feel like I am part of the team and not just a place holder. No one has indicated any of this to my professionally but when I hear comments such as "how much longer do you have?" It disturbs me.
I have a lot more years to figure that out......
Today, at my WW meeting, I wish I could have recorded one of our members who spoke about "why" she was at WW. She said that she gets pulled in a bunch of directions by a variety of people and she finally had to think about herself. She said this is for ME. This is about ME. And although I have said that myself a number of times, hearing someone else say it just reinforced why I am there each Sunday morning.
This week I am going to try to sleep better, do more steps, drink more water and track, track, track what I eat. Hopefully, I will reap there benefits of all of that next week.
Meanwhile, I am ready to face Monday and show people .....I am not old....I have value .....and I am no where near finished yet !!! So watch out world......I am ready to get moving......
See you next week....
PS oh just one more thing....my Dad would have been 84 this week.....he was born on George Washington's birthday and named George for that reason.....he was a great Dad and was gone way too young at 51......I have missed him every day for the last 32 years......
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