The Struggle....I LOVE/HATE Holidays....and other random stuff.....

I doubt there are many people who love Christmas more than I do.....but I also hate it. As with many other holidays, I enjoy them but the memories of past holidays also make me sad. My memories of Christmas Eve, Mother's Days, Father's Days......flood over me as the day begins.

I spend the waking moments of a day like today thinking of Mom and how much I miss her.

Similar to the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas, the next few weeks will be challenging.....Mothers Day, Fathers Day and my anniversary are all within the next few weeks. The reminders of what no longer is can be painful.  And as I have adjusted to life without Mom and Dad, I am also adjusting to life as a single....

Then there's Jenn......the reason I get to celebrate today......she is my biggest and best accomplishment!! She is my cheerleader......and the person who kicks me in the butt and pushes me when I say "I can't".  Oh and now that she is an adult......she is my friend too....my best friend as my Mom was to me......

There is nothing I can do about the past and those that are gone except relish the memories and look to create new ones. 

The Ghosts of Christmas Past......the memories of Thanksgiving tables filled with family.......the clay ashtrays (OMG think about that) that we made for Dad, the very expensive perfume ( I think they called it Eau de Toilette.....explain that title to kids now...LOL) for Mom and the anniversary dinner I made every year (same meal- antipasto, veal and tortellini in cream sauce).....all part of days gone by not to be experienced again.

But there are new adventures and happy days ahead.  I have to remind myself to not get stuck in the past....

And here is the random stuff.....

Audiobooks....how did I survive without them??? OK maybe that is a little strong but OMG !!!! I am starting my 4th book in less than two weeks.  For me who struggles for Donna time, listening to books is such a joy to me !!!! I missed finding time to read but now WOO HOO I use my commuting time to read !!

Sleep mask......Jenn got me one last Christmas.  I used it this week for the first time and it works like a charm.  One side is gel filled and you can heat it in the microwave or put it in the fridge depending on what you want or the other side which is very soft.  I have definitely slept better this week using it although I am sure I look really strange with it on......

Kohls .....I ordered two new lampshades.  Regular price $60 each on sale for $40.  Had a $10 off certificate, a $40 gift cert and a 30% off coupon.  By the time I was done including tax and shipping they cost me $28 for BOTH of them.

Another reward cert provided me with a new top that started at $29 and ended up $9 my cost including shipping and tax !!

Beach Shack Writers.....next Saturday, I get to attend another workshop!!  I can't wait to see what is planned !!

Let me end with a quote and one more thought......

Quote- "Life does not come with a manual, it comes with a Mother"

A few pictures of why I celebrate today.....

Happy Mother's Day !!

Last time I saw Mom 7 years ago....

 

 

Jenn and me.......

 

 

See you next week.....