Post Holiday Blues

From the book, "Pillow Thoughts II":
"You can't skip chapters, that's not how life works.  You have to read every line, meet every character. You won't enjoy all of it. Hell, some chapters will make you cry for weeks. You will read things you do not want to read, you will have moments when you don't want the pages to end. But you have to keep going. Stories keep the world revolving.  Live yours, don't miss out."

I hate the way the house looks after the holidays.

Don't get me wrong, I love my house but once the decorations are put away things look so bare and dull.

Trying to break out of the blah mold is a challenge.

Surprisingly, work has provided some excitement for me.  I feel like my batteries are being recharged there.  This is kind of amazing since I have been in the same line of work for over 30 years.  Mortgages is not an exotic line of work.  I remind myself regularly that I am helping people achieve their dreams. I have been through the days of 12%+ interest rates (and people were still buying houses).  I have been through the real estate/ banking disaster of 10 years ago.  I have been laid off twice and swore I was done with the mortgage industry only to end up in it again and again.  I have been an in-house originator, processor, relocation closer, underwriter, processing manager, closing manager, customer care manager, underwriting manager and now manage both processors and underwriters.

I have a great team that keep me on my toes.

I don't say I do things well often but in my humble opinion, I love to manage and am good at it.

This year, I presented a power point presentation on POSITIVITY.  I loved the message. In all honesty, I had a lot of help from my daughter with the power point itself.

I attended the TD WOW Awards and loved the new format.

I was selected to attend a four day class from the Mortgage Bankers Association. Then a test followed to get your certificate.  I hate tests.  It was timed and I kept on looking at the little clock in the corner of the screen.  I PASSED !!

Next week, I am traveling to different parts if Florida to visit my sales partners.

The biggest surprise for me is feeling rejuvenated at what I do for a living !!

Now, I have to get back to writing my book.  I have let it sit for a while during the holidays while figuring out which part of it to tackle next.

This blog has been a challenge too (which is so unusual for me) but the constant that keeps me thinking and writing.

I am fighting the blues and blahs.

I tend to look at others lives with envy.  I see spouses on date nights.  I see people travel.  I see people doing things I am afraid to do or can't afford to do or don't have the time to do.

I am focusing on healthy eating and trying to move more so those endorphins start popping up.

I also need warmer weather (I know my friends and family who live in cold climates are thinking she has become such a southern weenie). Once it warms up here like in April, the pool will open and I can get some good pain free work outs in. Meanwhile, I am using hand weights and resistance bands.

Even though I have family and friends around me at times I feel lonely.

Next month (which is amazingly just a few days away) has a day I love and a day I just try and get through.  I love Super Bowl Sunday and not surprisingly am not a fan of Valentines Day.  Not to be overly dramatic, I have never had one of those over the top February 14th's with flowers or special gifts or cards or good Lord jewelry.  Maybe I have never had real true love that I was able to share with the world the way others do.

I am not feeling sorry for myself (too much) because I have been loved.

My parents,daughter, siblings and friends love me. I just missed the boat on the partner in life that I see so many others enjoy.

The good news is I have my third byline coming up and am learning so much in the process.

Moving ahead with some chapters on my book will get my creative juices flowing again.

Maybe time to start to plan some time off and think about new adventures.

Before I know it, the time will change and the days will get longer.

Counting down the days until spring because as they say "hope springs eternal".

My friend Mary/Meredith gave me a gift this week.  Words I need to keep in my head!!

See you next week.