Boredom, depression and me

 I go back and forth.

Am I bored?

Is  the fact I am tired due to the long workdays?

Is the desire to sleep or take naps from exhaustion or boredom?

I am finally feeling depressed over the months of no’s?

Is sleep my escape?

Besides writing, binge watching TV,  a weekly trip for groceries and work, life it pretty much the same every day.

Every day.

While I have never been one who was always running all over the place, at least it was my choice.

Thank goodness for the phone.  It is my one real contact with the outside world.

The rides to get groceries let’s me see life is still out there but the changes are obvious.

I worry about depression, feeling sad and I do try to fight that feeling.

I fight it more some days than others.

It is summer and I should be sitting by the pool with a nice tall drink soaking in the sun.

I miss jogging in the pool with my waterproof IPOD.

Hopefully, soon again I can get back in the pool and exercise.

Instead, I am on Season 6 of Grey’s Anatomy.

Last weeks big accomplishment was catching up on reading all the magazines I had piling up.

I have mastered so many games on my IPAD.

I am also fearful of getting the virus. I have a cough that is allergy related but each time I cough I have a small bit of doubt in the back of my head.

I really do fight the sadness and boredom.

I do not fight the naps, they feel too good.

I try to think about things like what I want to have done as far as home improvements.

I search Pinterest for Christmas present ideas.

I try to think of other things to do to keep busy.

Jigsaw puzzles? Not a chance.

Crafts, nope.

Fancy meals, no to that too.

Like everyone else, I will get through this time and come out on the other side with a sense of relief.

Just no ideas how long it will take.

This is my 20th week home. If I do that amount of time again, we will be into 2021 thankfully.

The year of virus, depressing news, protests, riots, violence will be behind us, I hope.

The labels put on people will hopefully fade.

I won’t be called privileged or racist or any other labels that have been thrown around at each other for no other reason than to cause pain.

We will all come to recognize the good and bad in all, coming the to the conclusion that there is less bad than good in all of us.

At least that is what I pray will happen.

The power of prayer.

May it heal us all and make our days less boring, exhausting, tiring and depressing.

See you next week.