I am going to be honest

 The last year plus has been a challenge for all of us.

I have started to think of my home as a cocoon. I am safe inside of it.  I have everything I need. I get paid to work in my kitchen. I have a nice view from my kitchen window. In the afternoon, when I get tired of working at my kitchen table, I move to the living room and work in my recliner.  Although this move from the kitchen means I do not have two monitors to work with it is still a nice way to break up the day.

The comfort of my home has its good and its bad.

The good is listed above and here comes the bad.

Being home for so long has made my cocoon almost too safe.

I have had a hard time going out except the once a week trip to get groceries.

I cannot continue to live in this bubble.

Add to venturing out after over a year at home, my fear of falling and there you have it.

Me, stressing about heading back out into the world.

Yes, there have been a few ventures to get a pedicure or new eyeglasses or to get my annual flu shot or BOTH of my vaccine shots but nothing social.

Well, yesterday was the day !!!!

I received a phone call from friend visiting SC that she and her husband would like to meet Jenn and I for lunch.

It would be outside and socially distanced.

I said yes right away.

Then spent the next 48 hours trying to think how to get out of it.

I was going to be sick, something came up or had to work.  All sounded like great excuses. 

I woke up Saturday morning with a bad case of nerves.  Adding to my stress was a 45 minute trip to Bluffton for a SAMS run to get Locatelli (16 oz for $12.00 vs Publix 8 oz. for $9.00)  i am so practical I will drive miles to save $3.00 and get double the amount.  LOL

Our purchase:

Anyway, from SAMS it was on to lunch.

I was shaking like a leaf inside.

When we got there, there were some tables outside spaced far apart. 

I will admit I held Jenn’s arm to steady myself and also due to the arthritis in my knees really kicking in.

There was a bench border around the outside dining area.  I chose to sit there and we pulled the table closer to us and a little further from the few other people eating outside.

The weather was in the 70’s, perfect  

Our friends arrived just as we sat down.

How did it go?

We were there for two hours.

We ate, I had a drink (which I haven’t done in over 6 months), we laughed and for a little while I took in fresh air.

Two years ago, I would not be writing a blog to celebrate a lunch out.

But for me yesterday was a major victory.

Even if only for a few hours, I took my life back.

Yes, I needed encouragement and some help (physically).

I felt good, like me and happy to be out.

I even told Jenn once the weather is consistently in the 80’s we should go to the pool just minutes from my house again.

Last year, it was closed for a long time and then when it reopened you had to sign up for two hour time slots (anyone who knows me knows that might be an issue since I habitually run late). Which means we never went to the pool last year

Well soon this will be my view again at least a few times a week.

By the time we got home yesterday, I was exhausted after the days events.

I am going to try and take my life back. Slowly.  Carefully. And still wearing a mask when warranted.  I had my second vaccine and had no side effects other than an itchy arm at the injection site. Whew!!

Will I be running out and about all the time now?  Good Lord no! 

I am taking baby steps.  And yesterday was step one.

I have learned it’s OK to ask for help when walking someplace unsteady, it is OK to admit to others your fears and its OK to be honest with others and myself.

I told a friend this week, never again will I go to a movie theatre or a crowded arena or any of those places that I would feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed. And that works for me. 

That might make my world a little smaller but there will still be options.

I will be alright thou just different.

I now look out the window with excitement and hope and maybe just a little less fear.

I call that a win.

See you next week.