My how the world has changed

80 years ago, 18 and 19 year olds went off to war and saved the world. So many lives lost but they served anyway with pride.

These young people weren’t looking for freebies. They were brave and selfless.

I may not agree with Tom Brokow on a lot of things but he was right when he called them “the greatest generation”.

I grew up in the generation when we had “air raid drills”.  Small children sitting under their desks with our hands covering our heads.

Fallout shelters signs on the sides of apartment buildings were common place.

During the Gemini and Apollo space missions, classes stopped while we watched the take offs and splashdowns.

Math was done in a way that made sense.  Cursive was required not optional.

And we were held responsible for our actions.  The worst thing that could happen was have your parents called to school for some issue.

I remember waiting up on Parent/Teacher conference night to see what my teacher had said to Mom and Dad about me.

I now live in a world where in the last few weeks,  we could see a landing on Mars of a vehicle that sent pictures back to Earth, Disney is adding a warning message to the Muppets and Hasbro has changed a toy brand from Mr. Potato Head to Potato Head.

How can we have the skills, talent and ability to send something to Mars but feel the need to change the name of a toy brand?

I feel like the whole world has turned upside down.  I really work hard to keep my mouth shut and I try not to offend people who believe differently than I do. I try to maintain relationships with people of all kinds of views  

The sensitivity has reached a new level when I have had “FB Friends” unfriend me for my daily FB post countdown.  Those who know me well know what it is about or have asked for an explanation. But if we have reached a point in which a set of three and four digits with no additional comment is cause for offense, I am not sure how far these kind of actions will continue.

We can all make a list of things we would like to see cancelled. But to what good?

We can choose to watch or buy or listen to what we want or opt not to.

I think we need to tread down this “cancel culture” road carefully.  

Just my opinion.

See you next week.

Another Valentines Day

From the wisdom of Winnie the Pooh:

“Pooh, how do you spell love?” 

“You don’t spell love, Piglet you feel it.”

When I was young, I always pictured Valentine’s Day as a day when someone special would get me roses and take me out all dressed up to a romantic dinner.

I never really had that kind of Valentine’s Day. 

I guess I had a great imagination.

I grew up in an era before phrases such as “soul mate” and “date night” existed .

Even though I missed the boat on the things above, I still know love.

Love for Jenn, family, friends even pets.

Love of any of those listed above adds to our lives.

Not having had the great love story in my life doesn’t mean I made the wrong choice at the fork in the road.

It just means my journey has taken a different route.

I can still feel love and joy and happiness.

And yes, maybe a tiny bit of envy for those who found it all.

I don’t think there are as many of those as I always imagine but then again I have been wrong before.

And for those of you who did get it all, bravo !!

And for those like me who didn’t, it’s OK too.

Happy Valentines Day!

See you next week.

God Winks Exist

 Definition of a God Wink:

(plural God winks) An event or personal experience, often identified as coincidence, so astonishing that it is seen as a sign of divine intervention, especially when perceived as the answer to a prayer.

I first heard of God Winks on of all places and no surprise to anyone, The Hallmark Channel.

How often do God Winks play a role in our lives?

Events in my life surely were God Winks.

Whether it be a person who says hello to you when you are 15 and ultimately over 45 years changes your life.

Or the friend that in the early days used a phone book to help you find answers to questions. And now still helps you find answers using the internet.

How about the person you meet at work who opens their home to you and you walk together through some of the most difficult times in your life.

It can be something as simple as looking for a new car.  You mention it on a conference call and suddenly you have a negotiator for the transaction.

Your start a new job in a new state.  Day One you are paired with someone for training and you become fast friends whose lives are intertwined.

Two weeks ago, it happened again.

God winked.

I did a Facebook post. 

And that put the wheels in motion.

A FB message from an old friend and former coworker in response to the post.

And in what I consider a less than two week world wind event, I end up with a new job.

An updated resume, an online application, three interviews and a job offer within just a few days.

My head was spinning.

I was not planning on changing jobs.

But God winked.

In just two weeks, starting a job again and as I keep saying “for the last time”.

I am excited and ready for the change.

The one thing important about God Winks is,  if he winks you have to act.  

If you hesitate, you might miss the opportunity.

God is winking at you, not hitting you over the head.

Take the chance, live on the edge and trust.

Trust you gut, trust yourself and trust in God’s plans for you.

God winks have names too.

Dan, Kathy, Mary, DeAnna and Diana.

Family members are not by chance, They are chosen for us.

Family and old friends not named individually in this post also an important part of my life.

I am also lucky enough to have coworkers who have become extended family.

They are all God’s blessings: family, friends and coworkers.

And of course, then there is Jenn. 

She has had a couple of challenging months health wise. Seeing her perking up after her recent heart procedure shows me God’s answer to prayers.

Jenn is God’s way of showing a part of me will always be around.

Amen.

See you next week.

Six weeks to go

 Tomorrow is February 1st.

WOW.

On March 13, 2020, I walked out of my office for the last time.

Just six more weeks until it has been a year.

The changes in each of our lives are almost too many to comprehend.

Virtual doctor visits.

Holidays without family or friends.

Curbside pickup is now a common phrase.

Zoom is no longer just a sound made by a fast moving car.

School, should the kids be in the classroom or not?

Like many others, Jenn had a surgical procedure without family waiting in the waiting room. I dropped her off at 6:00AM and picked her up at the end of the day. In our new world, I received phone calls before, during and after the procedure was complete.

Food shop online, drive to the store and get it loaded in your car.  Or have it brought to your house and left at your door.

More TV shows were watched since it was one of the few safe entertainment options.

Seeing people wearing masks and not giving it a thought.

Seeing people not wearing masks and giving it a lot of thought.

Vaccines, COVID tests and blood work samples all being done in parking lots.

Businesses have learned that people can work remote and actually can be more productive.

I have had the luxury of sleeping in my bed each night.  The first few years here, I had to sleep two nights a week (sometimes three) at the Mefford Inn.  I was super lucky to have a friend willing to tolerate Jenn and my overnight visits each week. 

I miss our “family” dinners, rides to work together and ongoing conversations.

Only staycations for the last year.

Not one trip to the pool where I live.

I miss my family, I miss my friends and I miss my coworkers.

I do not miss the commute or the hours in the car or endless miles to and from work.

Online shopping has become more popular.  I think the Amazon delivery person knows us by name.

I can order everything from clothes to clam sauce to black and white cookies (from Brooklyn) to a new phone all online.

But I have seen beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

I am lucky that Mary and I will call each other and use video to see each other. We will stay on our call while we work. Not constant conversation, just like when we shared an office.

I miss the “pot lucks” at work.

I miss my team making my morning coffee and ice run.

Knowing so many of those things are part of the past and will not happen again makes me sad.

When will we go back to pack up our offices?

Never in a million years did I think I would work at home for good, not go out to dinner or socialize with friends for a year.

I may be more concerned or cautious than others.

I feel more secure in my home.

I now think of our weekly running errands as “ going out”. A cut and color every eight weeks is a major event. A pedicure every four weeks is living on the edge.

I am allowing my world to get smaller to stay safer.

I miss my life in 2019 for a variety of reasons. 

In 2019, I viewed the world as safe.

Not any more.

And we won’t even touch on politics and all the unfriending and unfollowing I have experienced due to my daily countdown.  

Another topic for another week.

If I dare.

See you next week.

OK I Lied

I could write about the craziness in the world.

I could spew out ugly thoughts and opinions which could make me appear to live up to the ugly names I have gotten used to being called.

I could talk about what unites us versus divides us.

But to what good?

Will I change my thoughts, feelings and opinions? 

No.

Will I be able to change anyone else’s opinions?

No.

Instead, I have decided to admit I lied to all of you.

Yes, I lied,

Last week, I wrote something that was not true.

I wrote about how bare the house was without the Christmas decorations.

In all honesty, I did not remove Christmas from my house.

I put away the big tree.

I put away the extra decorations.

I could not let it go away completely.

I know I drive you all crazy with my love of all things Christmas.

I watch Christmas movies all year,

I start planning for the next December 25th on December 26th.

I cannot help myself.

There is something so perfect to me about the Christmas Season.

Maybe it is my way of denying all the things going on with which I do not agree or which cause me pain.

If it gives me joy and doesn’t hurt any one else then why not keep Christmas going?

If the glow of the lights soothes me then why not?

If it gives me pause to not think about events taking place last week or the week before or this coming week then why not?

Am I hurting anyone?

Am I speaking out loud about my fears for what is transpiring?

I am doing none of those things.

I am finding my happiness where I can.

Ebenezer Scrooge vowed to keep Christmas the whole year through and to celebrate all 365 days.

That is what I am choosing to do.

Otherwise, I fear the sadness I feel will consume me.

So while the big tree is gone, I still have a tree of some kind up in each room.

I know it sounds crazy to most of you but it gives me peace and comfort and joy.

And that’s what I need right now.

Here are the trees and their locations:

On a counter in the kitchen,

On a small cabinet in my bedroom.

In the front hallway of my house.  I change it for each month of the year.

The small tree in my living room decorated with 12 months of Charlie Brown and Peanuts ornaments.

My sea glass tree is also out in my living room.

The beach themed tree on my enclosed porch.

And then there are the two Christmas Angels, my Mom made them for me 10 years ago on her last visit to me.  I keep them on my mantle all year round.

May these angels not only watch over me but all of you too as we move ahead in this ever changing life the likes of which we have never seen before and I hope will eventually will fade into our memories.

See you next week.

And then it was gone

 The holiday decorations have finally been packed away.  

So sad.

The house looks so bare.

Jenn and I were able to stretch out the holidays by exchanging our last gifts on Little Christmas.

I guess I expected the second the clock struck midnight and we welcomed in 2021 all things would be good.

Not the case.

Work and the reorganization is still making my days insane.

The negativity and ugly comments have not faded.

In fact on social media, they have intensified.

I am trying hard to keep my mouth shut and my emotions in check.

It is not easy to do.

I have invited people to unfollow or unfriend me if they choose.

There are enough varying opinions to go around.

Let’s be honest, no one is going to change the way I think or feel.

And I am sure I am not able to persuade those who think differently to change their opinions either.

So what can we do?

No name calling, be respectful and remind yourself why you chose to include these people on your life’s journey.

If you can’t remember why you included them, drop them.

Find the fun in things.

Since yesterday, my cousins and I have been having a very funny conversation about PB and J sandwiches.

A PB and J, simple and funny.

I connected with a cousin I hadn’t spoke to in years from my Dad’s side of the family because her name happened to come across my desk.

She invited me to come and visit,  I told her I might not be that welcome at a family reunion since we sit on different sides of politics.  She laughed and said she would still want me to come.

We are all walking a fine line as we try to maintain relationships in a world like most of us have never seen

I feel like I am trying to walk a tight rope while balancing a ball on my nose.

I am most likely going to fall.

I am far from perfect but I do try to treat people nicely. I do try to walk in others shoes to understand how they feel.

As much as I hate to say it, at times I can get so angry I can’t see straight. A dark rage can come over me.  That is when I need to back away from the keyboard.

Maybe if we all backed away from the keyboard and didn’t feel the need to spew out every thought or feeling we have there would be less stress and anger all the way around.

Let's spend more time sharing opinions on the joys of a PB and J.

Otherwise, there are no gains,  no winners and we all lose.

Meanwhile, I am looking at the bare corner in my living room and feeling empty.

I can look ahead.  In just a scant ten months the decorations will come out again.

Until that time, let’s look toward a hopefully healthier time again when we can comfortably socialize. 

To the spring when the days get longer.

To the summer and the sounds of the ocean.

To the fall with all of its beautiful colors.

And there you go, we are back to Christmas.

See you next week.

Twas a few days before Christmas

And here we are just 5 days to go.

Three more days of work and I am home free until January 4th, 2021.

I want this week to go slowly because I want to take it all in.

Right now, I am sitting in my living room with just the tree lights on.  My blinds are open so I can see out the porch windows. Grey skies make the tree lights on the porch stand out too.

There is another tree, it is sitting in my office at work.  Still decorated for St Patrick’s day, how sad.

On the plus side, the cards have been mailed, the cookies have been delivered to family, the gifts wrapped and the house looks festive.

Jenn and I have made a list of what needs to be accomplished between now and Wednesday night. Our goal is to have everything done so when we wake up for our favorite day of the year, we can soak in and enjoy every minute, the same for Christmas Day.

At work, we are working through a huge challenging reorganization.  The team I managed for a few years and was the best version of a dream team has been split up.  This has been very hard for me.We had formed a work family.  I wont lose them as many have become friends too.

We still had our Secret Santa exchange this week.  We did it on Webex so we could see each other, open our gifts and find out who our Secret Santa was.  The Head Elf, Jenn, was surprised with gifts too.

The best gift was letters to me from each member of my team.  I had to wait until the evening as I was afraid that I would ugly cry while reading them in front of my former team.

Each letter was unique.  Whether a person had been on Team Pizzo for a few months or a few years, each talked about the support they received from each other. I was touched as each letter spoke about the uniqueness of our team and my role as their manager. 

Yes, I did ugly cry.

I doubt I will ever have a team like this again.

I was thinking again about when I was young and what I wanted for Christmas.  Things such as the easy bake oven, the game operation, some other popular toys never appeared Christmas morning.  As a teenager, the list of “didn’t gets” included, an ankle bracelet, a boyfriend and a princess phone for my bedroom.  The lack of a phone just led to the option many teenagers chose, stretch the phone cord from the wall phone around the corner, down a short hall way and into my bedroom behind closed doors. As a young Mom as I have written before, the hardest thing was not being able to afford the American Girl doll that all of Jenn’s friend were getting (although I did rectify the situation 30 years later).

Now that I am at a point in my life where there are more Christmas’s behind me than in front of me.

I have have come to some conclusions.

It’s not the big house.

It’s not the expensive car.

It’s not the over the top vacation that matters. 

It’s the memories, the daily laughter, the friends and the love that are now the greatest gifts I can give or receive.

Merry Christmas!!

See you next week,