What the hell can I eat that is not processed????

I talked to my WW leader today and she gave me some suggestions....watch the sodium and try to avoid processed foods and not too many banana's and try sticking to berries or citrus fruit.

I eat tons of veggies and fruits.......

OK the sodium part I get........

I am not a big fan of citrus fruits.  I can eat them but just not in love with them.  Berries??? Except strawberries not a big fan of those either.

The processed food part I don't get......I mean I understand that I should avoid them but other than fruits and veggies.....what the hell can I eat?????

So anything on a label that sounds like a chemical is out........anything that didn't come from the ground is out.....anything with too much sodium is out.......

See my dilemma??????

So what can I eat when I crave something salty?

What can I eat when I crave something sweet?  Are grapes bad too???

I would love to know what it is like to not have to think about every damn thing I put in my mouth.  I would love to know what it is like to not have to think about food and choices constantly.  I would love to lose weight just because of what I am passing up......OK that is a dream I know it!!!

Yes, the rational side of me knows I have done a good job since starting this war on fat.  I know it by the clothes I can now wear.  I no longer sweat out being given a booth to sit at instead of a table (OK I might still worry about this a little). I no longer worry about dying every hour on the hour (now watch I will kick off before I finish this entry).

But here I sit several months into this battle for health and I still have questions........

So I am asking any of you that have suggestions on things to eat that are not processed....suggest away.....I am open to any ideas.....

As you can tell I am kind of in a funk......after my WW meeting I was feeling OK......I went to the gym and jogged in the pool for 75 minutes (and I did it yesterday too). Then I did something stupid and childish.....I started feeling sorry for myself......I started to think will all the things I talk about doing really ever happen?? I started comparing my life to others (which is really stupid to do since everyone has crap going on in their lives they just choose not to share it with the world). Sometimes I can feel so focused and positive and then sometimes I let that little cloud of doubt follow me around.

I want to be the fun person to be around.....today I was  not.  The one smart thing I did was grab my lunch and a bottle of water and eat lunch on my front porch while sitting in the rocking chair.  I played some games on my IPAD and just reflected on my life and tried to look for the good.  (It also saved me from being a witch, screaming loon or yelling at the dog).

Then surprise surprise.....it started to rain.......LOL.....doesn't it figure???? I stayed out there for a while even after the rain had started and was enjoying the view. But then had to give in and go inside when the rain started to soak the porch.  Mother Nature won that battle......

So here I sit now inside the house.......listening to the rain....sorting through my thoughts and questions.......trying to figure out where I want to go and how to get there.......

Well, maybe I will have some revelations this week.......you never know.......

Each night before I go to sleep I write in a journal 5 good things about the day.....sometimes it's easy and some days I have to struggle ......so let me end this entry with 5 good things about the coming week.....

1.  Tuesday starts of the "ber" months. Hopefully, no more days in the 90's and 100's!!!!
2.  I have a long weekend coming up. Thank goodness for Labor Day but wasn't it just Memorial Day?
3.  Payday. This makes SCEG, Time Warner Cable and my mortgage company happy!!
4.  Fall decoration are up (tablecloth and napkins, plates in the plate rack, small tree in the front window decorated and the wreath on the door).
5. And if nothing else brightens my week........college football starts this week..........USC plays Thursday night......and I can't wait.....GO COCKS!!!!!

See you next week......I promise to be more cheerful as the baseball season winds down (dear God please let the Yankees make it to the post season) and the football season starts (come on Gamecocks and NY Giants)........

It Is Not About The Numbers Is It??????

My leader at WW stresses that it is not all about the numbers.

It is about improving our lives overall.

It is being able to walk longer.   It is moving around so much more than before that someone complains that you are in their way.  It is someone looking for you in your office and you aren't there because you have actually left your desk to go see someone.  You don't realize how sedentary you can get and it becomes your lifestyle. I was in a team meeting the other day and realized I didn't sit  for the meeting like I normally do.  I was leaning against a desk the whole time (probably 25 minutes or so).  I can't remember the last time I did that......I know leaning is not standing but it sure isn't sitting either.

No, I am not out jogging or doing long walks but I am moving.  It is rare now that I ask someone to get something for me......not when I can get it myself......

Tonight, I spent the evening getting all my veggies cooked.  That meant shopping and walking.  Back in forth in the kitchen.  My fridge is loaded with fruits and veggies to get me through the week.

I have decided for now not to talk about the numbers each week.  I have made them too much of my focus.

I can tell I am down by the way my clothes fit or when they are getting lose.  I can tell by the way my watch slides down on my hand instead of staying on my wrist.  I can tell  by the way I had to move the straps on my sandals over a notch........do you really lose weight in your feet??? LOL....I guess you do since mine were getting loose.

I will share numbers when I think they should be shared.  I found that the up and down has been affecting my moods and I don't want that to be the case.  If  I am up at the scale that shouldn't ruin my week until the next weigh-in.  I shouldn't dread going to my meeting for fear of not having had "a good week".  Every week is a good week....every day is a good day.  As I said in last week's post....there are worse things than being fat.  And I am working on it and that's all that matters.  As long as I don't give up the numbers will happen.....I am sure of that.......so I have to stop beating myself up that right now the scale is moving down at a snails pace.  As I switch things up, I am sure there will be fluctuations in what happens each week.

I can look at my reflection in the mirror and see that changes.  I can look at my closet and see the changes.  I can look at the distance between the steering wheel and my stomach and see the changes.

Changes, changes, changes........ all to the good.......yes......the numbers matter........but that is not the be all and end all.....a healthier life.......a more active life......a life with more yes's than no's......

I have to stop worrying about Sunday mornings.......I have to stop not eating on Saturday's or worrying about what I might eat on Saturday.......I have to stop worrying that I am drinking too much water the day before weigh-in.......and now I find my self starting to worry about eating too much on Friday......

I work hard all week to eat the right things and get some activity in......but I can't control what my body decides to do even if I do everything right......

Today, I weighed myself 8 times.......naked......and the scale kept on coming up with different numbers.....I moved the scale and then pointed it in different directions.......now that is crazy........

I stressed about the numbers all day and now I know THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!!! No, I am not stopping Weight Watchers or exercise or my work to get healthy but I have to stop obsessing about the numbers each week.......

So it's really about life and not just the damn numbers on the scale..........

See you next week.......

There are things worse than being fat......

I have been pretty self-absorbed lately.  And I felt I was entitled to focus on me since I had spent so much of my life focusing on others.  I am still working on me and will continue to.......

Yes, obesity can lead to all kinds of health issues.  I am trying to avoid those now and hope I haven't waited too long to get it right.

This week I am thinking about others battles.....ones for which they did not volunteer, had no choice in taking on.....call it fate, call it lousy luck, call it sad, unfortunate and the cards they were dealt.

Almost all of these people faced or are facing their enemy head on.........

Cancer- is there an uglier word in the world???? It took my Dad way too young, my Mom when she still had so much more to give ( not to do), a cousin and couple of dear friends who fought until they could fight no more. Gone too young. I have two sister-in-laws and a dear friend who stared cancer down and won their battles.  They are survivors and warriors.  They took all that cancer could throw at them and fought back through chemo, sickness, hair loss and all the aches and pains that were part of the war.  I watched a dear friend lose her son to that horrible, dreadful and relentless disease. I live with someone who medically has had a positive outcome from two bouts of cancer but is a victim none the less.  The anger and fear mixed together have changed him into a person I hardly know anymore.

Cystic Fibrosis- another disease I hate.  It took my niece from us at a time when she should have been spreading her wings in flight.  Maria battled until she could fight no more. I never look at Cheese Fries in a package near to pretzels in a super market or a kids lemonade stand without thinking of Maria.


Now add MG to the list- Myasthenia Gravis- a disease that is so hard to diagnose.....just ask my niece, Jill, who went though a few years of going from doctor to doctor trying to find an answer. It is a disease that can go into remission but is never cured.  Muscle weakness, difficulty swallowing and at times issues with speech.  Jill is one tough cookie.  She works in a demanding job and is on the move constantly when I am sure she would just like to stay in bed some days.   She has had to endure weeks in the hospital getting infusions but with Tim by her side......they make it an adventure instead of looking at it as unfair and wrong.  I see much of my Dad in Jill.......not one to complain, not one to give up and most definitely gives MG a run for it's money every single day.

And finally for my list of hates today, Alzheimer's Disease........my sister-in-law has been diagnosed with this horrible, unforgiving disease.  I can't imagine a point in my life when I will no longer feel emotions or recognize my family and friends.  It is a slow progression that is as difficult for the person with the disease as it is for those around them.  There are no cures right now but there are clinical trials going on and we can all hope and pray that one of these trials will lead to a cure. Family and friends of my sister-in-law are raising money to be used toward research not just for Marge but for all the Marge's we know.

Part of me feels guilty for thinking so much about myself and not thinking about what others face every day.  I guess that is normal in life.....if we carried all these burdens everyday who would want to face each day???

One thing I am sure of is that each person I referenced above got out of bed and appreciated each day......and those still with us continue to be grateful for sunrises and sunsets.  They are our teachers, the people we should look up to, the people who know how to fight and know how to live. They are our hero's......

So while I fight my own battle to get healthy, I absolutely recognize that their road is much harder than mine.  So what if I am up a little at the scale......is the world going to stop spinning???

I will say I was down at the scale this morning and  I went to the movie's alone for the first time in my life yesterday. Big steps for me but compared to footprints left by Dad, Mom, Eric, Evie, Maureen, Gina, Lauren and Maria or the paths walked  Kathy, Patty, Terry, Jill and Marge..... my progress is not really important in the scheme of things....is it??

I may think I was brave walking into a movie theatre alone for the first time........my accomplishment is small in comparison to what they all did or continue to do......but maybe it is their example that helps me each day, each hour, each minute to make right choices and to not give up and for that I will be eternally grateful.......

See you next week......

Stress and the Roller Coaster

We all have stress in our lives......some more than others......some create it and for some it just happens.  There is stress at work and stress at home.  Experts will tell you stress and lack of sleep can have an impact on weight loss.

Or it's another plateau.....ugh!!! Down a pound .....up a pound......down .2....up .2......

Since my trip to NY, I have gone up and down the same few pounds......it is so frustrating.  I was a smidgen a way from 60 pounds gone and now I am a smidgen and a half away from 60 pounds.

I do try to figure out what the problem is.....I try to rationalize......plateau's do happen and they can last for months  (this has been confirmed by many of my WW buddies and leader).

I know I don't get enough sleep and I am a very restless sleeper too which means it is not a restful sleep.  I feel like I barely close my eyes and it's time to get up.  Oh you lucky retired people.......I envy you all so much......

Now let's talk stress.......my job is stressful......but then again whose isn't.......especially at month end.  95% of the time I love my job even with the stress. Several times a week I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about something I need to get done or something I forgot to do or planning out my next days work.....you all know the drill. Then there is stress at home......not going into detail there.

So what can I do????

I have committed to TRY yes TRY to go to sleep earlier at night.  I have committed to try and take one issue at a time at work and not let not let it overwhelm me.  I have committed to try and avoid stress at home as much as absolutely possible.

So my plan for this week is to plan......

I have a plan for my days at work as far as what I MUST get accomplished.......I know that plans get monkey wrenches thrown into them but at least I have a starting point.

I have planned my meals for the week.  I have cooked or prepared most of my veggies and proteins.  I am going to try and not eat the same things over and over....maybe give my body a little shake-up.

I am going to try to unwind when I am done with work for the day.  Who is it that said when you are at the end of your life you will not regret spending more time at the office but you will regret not doing more things that made you happy.  Even if it means watching TV shows where I do not have to think or read a book that burns no brain cells or play silly games on my IPAD, do some writing for the 2 books I am working on or spend some time practicing my Italian with Rosetta Stone......that is what I need to do.

Bed time.....get a MINIMUM of 6-7 hours of sleep.....but shoot for 8 hours.I used to fall asleep with the TV on......no more......I have started to go to sleep in a totally dark room and that seems to help.  I do wake usually to hit the bathroom at least once a night a few nights a week. I know some of it has to do with how much water I drink each day (but I have to tell you I did crave a diet Pepsi this week and fought off the urge) and some of it is due to.......yes getting older.

Maybe this will help the roller coaster ride to end or break the plateau........I know it will happen!!! I have to remind myself to be patient.  I look at where I am now as compared to just 10 months ago and I can see the progress.........I just have to get my body to adjust so more of this fat can fade away.

I hope next week to have a loss but you know what.....if I don't that's OK I know it will happen......I may be behind on where I was hoping to be as far as my weight loss goals but I will get there and I sure as hell am not going back the other way!!!!

You have just read a passage that shows you how my brain works......pretty scary huh......LOL.

OK let's see how the week goes with my "shake it up Donna plan".

See you next week........

What I Want When It's My Time To Go......

A friend of mine asked me how I came up with the topics for my blog entries.  I said sometimes I know all week what I am going to write about and sometimes I sit down at the computer and think what now? Or sometimes I get into a conversation and that leads to that weeks entry.

A conversation is what lead to this entry.....about my final wishes.......

No, I am not planning on going anywhere anytime soon. I am hoping that my healthier lifestyle will add many, many more years to my life.  But let's all face the fact that at some point it is going to happen......

I was visiting with friends last weekend and somehow we got on the discussion of funerals and what we would like and not like.  You can tell this was not a young swinging crowd by the topic of conversation.

When I said what I wanted it was pointed out to me that what I wanted to take place might be too vague....

so let me be more specific so there are no misunderstandings......

1.  Take me to Leevy's.  This is a black funeral home and I found out that cremations are less expensive there than at your standard funeral home.  I am not sure why they cost less but I don't really care. Why should Jenn have to lay out extra money to turn me into dust??

2.  Make sure I am dressed comfortably including flip flops.  I want to arrive comfy where ever I am going next.

3,  Yes, Cheryl you can throw cheese in with me the last time you see me so I can go out as a grilled cheese.

4.  I do not want a formal funeral service.  I would prefer a gathering with an open mike.  I expect laughter and lots of Donna stories.  I expect tears......of laughter.  Someone will have to be the timer to make sure some people don't go on too long.  Maybe it can be like America's Got Talent and there can be X's and then the person speaking would get the boot.

5.  NO WEARING BLACK!!!! I want people comfy and not somber.....bright colors preferred.

6.  If Fr.Tim Liejewski is able to make it, I wouldn't mind him saying a few words and I would like the 23 Psalm read but that is where the seriousness ends.

7.  I want the cheese poem read......in case you need to know it is in a book in the basket by the fire place.  When I move I will make sure to reveal its new location.

8.  Short of tiki torches this had better be a fun event.  I am not sure where the gathering should be held but I will think about it and let the appropriate people know.

9.  Of course there will be food.......and lots of CHEESE.  Hey, we all know I am a cheese-a-holic!!! And since I can't devour it like I used to at least at my last party there should be lots of it.

10.  Music- OK I call the shots here- the music will be from my IPOD.  Then you can all see how confused I really am.....from disco to the 60's to the rat pack to folk to Broadway Show tunes. My brother can do karaoke to some of our favorite songs.

11.  Photo's of me.....OK if they are not photo shopped then they must be of me looking good.  I do not want it to look like a before and after picture for a weight loss plan.

12..  If there is a funeral procession from the funeral home to the party/gathering.......Jenn Boswell and Mark Sgromolo must at some point pull into the funeral procession and throw on their lights and then take a turn onto another street.  (They can then rejoin the party).  The reason for this......OK I will admit I horrified Mark when I told him if there is a funeral procession and I am stuck in traffic I just throw in my headlights, look sad and get in line.  Then I leave the procession when I get to my destination.....LOL.  I am not being disrespectful......I make the sign of the cross and say a prayer.

13.  OK my ashes.....what should be done with them?? I have my Mom's ashes in a wind chime outside my house.  I love having them there although some days she makes quite a lot of noise.  But should Jenn have to worry about my ashes and Nannie's ashes too?  She doesn't need a deck of dead people ashes ringing in the wind does she??  I have always wanted to go to Italy, Alaska and back to Hawaii.  Hopefully, I will get there in my lifetime but if I don't......Jenn is to use some of the insurance money and take the trip I have always dreamed of with a friend or family member (it is up to her who goes with her so suck up to make the possible travel list) .  They will go to each of those places all expenses paid and leave some of my ashes there.  I would also like some ashes left at the beach.  I originally thought of asking each of my siblings and friends to take some of my ashes to a place they thought I might like but it was brought to my attention that not everyone might think of this as a special event or honor and may view it as a chore or forget to take me somewhere and I would get put in a closet on a shelf.  So I will have to come up with a list of specific people and locations.

Well those are some of the high points of my fond farewell.  As I think of things I will add them to this list but at least I have provided you all with the bullet points to go by.

I think it sound like a great send off......too bad I won't be there.....but the first person who lets out a sob of sadness.....I will come back and haunt you ass through all eternity!!!

See you next week.....

PS I was down at the scale this week.

 

 

What Heaven would look like to me.......