Frustrations on the Roller Coaster......
Trying to pass that elusive 80 pounds down overall is a exercise in futility. Up some down some up some down some....lose a pound gain a pound. Can you guess how my weigh in went this morning??? Ugh !! I didn't cry but I am extremely frustrated!! Is it too much salt , is it too many things with water, is it the heat causing my body to hold on to water, is it stress (dear God my stress level at home alone could cause anyone to not lose), am I not exercising enough, am I not eating enough, is the aspirin I take causing an issue???
I have been tracking what I eat and I think about it a lot. One of my buddies suggested figuring out 5 breakfasts, lunches and dinners knowing the point value of each. Then choosing from those each day. I have not been structuring my daily eating and have just been eating (within my points) when I am hungry, Dinner's have been late due to working later. I am going to give it a try and see how it goes.
Another member in my class also shared something that stuck with me. She was at one time ranked the number #1 tennis player in the state. She said the winning was easy but her coach told her she would learn more from the times she lost. She said when she hit a slide she learned to rethink think instead of just staying with her old ways of winning. What a great analogy......
So here I sit refiguring how to move ahead.....I will pass the 80 pounds and then 90 pounds and then 100 pounds and someday to goal.
I just needed a few hours to get up off the floor, dust myself off and start again. I am tired of thinking about food and weight loss but if I don't think about it where would I be?
I am feeling a little down.....had a minor pity party.....I am now sucking it up and moving on.......I am not ready to give up the battle by a long shot.....
Memories.....
Father's Day conjures up so many memories. I had an amazing Dad!!!
When I think of him I remember:
-the Dad who took his 2nd grade daughter to lunch at a diner when my other siblings were sick
-the Dad who tolerated his young daughter staying up to keep him company on long rides home from visiting relatives.....everyone else would fall asleep but I worried about Dad having to stay awake....so I would put my hand on his shoulder and talk to him (I am sure he was thinking "why doesn't this kid fall asleep" and I guess seat belts were not in vogue then either)
-the dad who made me believe he could change traffic lights
-the Dad who took his high school freshman daughter to a Father-Daughter Dance
-the Dad who took his daughter for a drink at on New Years Eve while waiting for pizza to take home for dinner on the last day of his job as an attorney for an insurance company he had been associated with for years he talked about his severance package with his grown up daughter
-the Dad who picked up me up in his Corvette when I worked in lower Manhattan- the next day my coworkers wanted to know who they guy was that I kissed hello and jumped into his sports car......they were shocked that it was my Dad
-the Dad who could sometimes read my mind and what I was thinking
-the Dad who sat up late and helped me cram for an exam in college
-the Dad who said the night before my wedding "I am going to miss having you around here"
-the Dad who always shared with his children when he settled a big case
-the Dad who during one of my last conversations with him told me "to take good care of Jenn"....(although he had nicknamed her Priscilla)
-the Dad who taught me toughness, determination, generosity, a love of Christmas and so much more
-the Dad that was gone far too soon but still exists in my daughter who can look over her glasses at me like Dad did......who sometimes sticks her tongue out of the side of her mouth when she is concentrating on something she writes.........he is still here
-the Dad that I have missed for over 31 years but think of everyday with love and warm mem
Dad and me....1956
Laughter.....
Yesterday, there was a bad storm that hit part of Columbia, SC. We lost power and Internet access. Not something you want to happen when you work from home. I texted my boss and told her I would be working off my phone. She said that was fine or I could use my hot spot. Hot spot???? What the hell is a hot spot????? I called my daughter who explained how I could use my phone and still use my laptop and continue to work. Thank goodness before I go too involved in the process the power and Internet were back!! Hot spot......really??? OK I have to admit I felt just a little out of the loop and old.....I have heard of hot flashes and some "other" kinds of spots but not a hot spot.........although I guess the spot I had heard about might be a "hot" spot too.....and Jenn is rolling here eyes at me as I am reading this to her......I guess TMI.......LOL......
Goodbye......
One of my WW buddies son passed away suddenly this week. Her son also attended WW. He was the guy who would give you a high 5 when you had a good week, he would make you laugh with his funny comments, he had a smile that wouldn't quit and an aura about him that just made you feel good!! I have been processing the news of his passing and just feel sad. When I get on the scale each week I will picture him giving me that high 5 or having an encouraging word if it wasn't a great week. He may be gone but not forgotten.......I will see you again.......until then soar high and farewell......
See you next week.......
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