The topic of the meeting today was about our bodies. Here was the hard part....we had to come up with something positive about them. It's easy to find the negative. My response was that I liked that my body now moves better and easier. I am not as sedentary. I am also never running a marathon. I do like being able to get up and down without thinking about it. Although my knees are loaded with arthritis, it can be painful at times but it doesn't stop me from climbing stairs (carefully). My hips can ache at times again nothing that really stops me from moving around. Extended long walks....probably not unless I was holding onto someones arm for support. But, all of this is OK........
I no longer feel bad or sad if I can't do extended walks. I can do other things. Of course, there is the pool at the gym. In the pool, I can do anything!! Jenn provided me with the chair exercises to do during the week while I work.
I am tired of feeling bad about the things I can't or don't choose to do. I have decided I need to get over it. If someone thinks I am a failure for not hiking or doing 5K's....who cares???? Not me!!
The guilt about my weight has been weighing me down. I have chosen to not to continue to beat myself up.
We were also asked today, were we happier with our bodies now then when we started? I raised my hand immediately!! Almost 80 pounds gone, down at least 4 sizes (in some cases 5 sizes), with the proper bra's and spanx things that used to sag stay more in place, things that jiggled don't. How could I not be happy about those changes?
I have some Dr. appt's this week and next week......it is nice to go into those appointments with good news to share vs dreading what I might hear.
Now about deadlines......
Some are self-imposed and some are due to outside factors.
Deadlines such as when I will hit goal at WW are non-existent. I will not put that kind of stress on myself. I will get there when I get there. I will work on it week after week and at some point I will hit goal. It may not be the goal WW says I should hit but more likely the goal my Dr. and I think I should hit.
I still focus on 5 pounds at a a time.....that works best for me.
This week, I had another deadline.
I am attending a writers conference in July. I have a 1:1 session with one of the faculty from the conference. In order for our time to be productive, I had to submit 10 pages of a manuscript I am working on. Well, as is typical for me through college.....I work best under pressure and waited until the week before I had to send in my 10 pages to get my ass in gear.
I wrote and rewrote and reread and rewrote and edited and changed and reworked those 10 pages. I read them out loud a zillion times. Jenn and I went through those pages with her asking questions or pointing out to me where I might need to make adjustments.
The deadline was 5:00PM Friday. I emailed it after 4:00 on Friday. Whew.......
It was an eye opening experience. If I plan on continuing to write as a profession I need to get used to this process. Not every word I write is fabulous or perfect. I tend to think oh that sounds good. Then I put the written work aside. I go back later and then I see what needs more work.
The way I have to track my food and figure out appropriate serving sizes is they way I have to look at my life. Controlled portions, focus, determination and belief I will succeed are some of the steps I need to take in order to make my dreams a reality.
All of those items are what I need to focus on for both journeys......one to a healthier longer life and the other to be a successful author.....
The List
A Final Gift From A Mom
By
Donna Pizzolongo
See you next week........
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