Getting In The Game

"Life is not as much fun watching from the sidelines"....I have no idea who said this but it is true.

I have been sitting on the bench and watching life go by from the sidelines most of my life.

I never had the desire to be the center of attention.  I did want to be loved and laugh and have friends.  Many times I tended to watch  my friends do things I wanted to do but my fear of failure held me back.

I am finally getting in the game.....trying to push the fear of failure out of my life and my head.

I soak in and enjoy some of simple things....

-that first cup of coffee in the morning

- sitting on the porch drinking that cup of coffee ...even better

-and if it happens to be raining while I am having that cup of coffee while sitting in the rocking chair on the porch....perfection

-the wonderful feeling of laying in bed on a Saturday morning....the room still dark and just let my mind wander.....I get some of my best thoughts for my writing during those moments of solitude in the early dawn

-the same feeling at the end of the day.....in my bed.... my covers wrapped around me (except for one foot that I always leave hanging out)......I will reflect on the day, my goals and what is next for me

- being willing to go with copper color highlights in my hair and not give it a 2nd thought.....pure fun

- today Jenn and I went to my friend, Mary's house for a long overdue cooking lesson....sauce, greek tortolini salad, meatballs and hot tortolini.....actually if I were honest except for the meatballs Jenn did the cooking while Mary took notes and we drank coffee and chatted.....we left Mary with a weeks' worth of food and yes some pots and pans to wash......

-on the way home from Mary's, my sister called and said she and Mike were passing through Columbia so we got to catch up for an hour......not surprisingly we never stopped talking.....

-my Giants finally won one.....it was a nailbiter until the end........go Big Blue....

None of these items above are major life events but now I am able to enjoy every second of them....in fact I relish them.

Later this week, I will be attending the Pat Conroy Literary Festival in Beaufort.  I will be attending 2 writing classes each day (Thursday- Saturday) and on Sunday I will be going to a brunch where two authors will be doing  book readings and having a literary discussions.  Attending writer seminar's, sharing ideas, honing my writing skills and just hanging out with other writers......it's just a little slice of heaven.

And yes.....I am doing this by myself.  My comfort level continues to grow with regard to doing things alone.  Plus, I am not sure anyone would find this event as exciting as me. I on the other hand will be like a sponge soaking it all in......there I will be with one of my glitter covered notebooks and a few of the many gel pens I recently uncovered.

A new adventure to experience and write about.......another chapter in my book "The List".  The chapters are adding up.  When I go back and look at all the things I have taken on I am pleased that I have pushed myself so much.

None of the growth I have expeienced thus far is anything in comparision to what lies ahead.......scary, challenging and exciting all rolled into one.

And you......my family and loyal friends get to come along for the ride. I don't know if I will recognize myself in a couple years both physically and emotionally......healthier, confident and ready for whatever is next.......it will be like looking a mirror and not really knowing the reflection looking back at me.......like the catepillar I referenced a few weeks ago........this butterfly is getting ready to break free.......just watch me fly......

See you next week......