The List and What I Am Changing Up.....this week.....

First, let's talk about "the list".

I am pleased that I have been continuing to try new things.  No, I do not have the tattoo yet...... but have gone from going to the movies alone to attempting to do a painting of the beach.

I am a writer.......I an NOT an artist.  This week, Jenn and I went to a Breast Cancer Fundraiser where we painted.  The choices were a pink frilly dress on a form or a beach scene.  Like I even had to think about it......

I found the whole process interesting and it was also very social. The instructor gave us the basics of what to do and then it was on us.  The canvas was blank except for a few marks for the land.  We painted the sky and water.  Then we had to use the back of one of our brushes to track an outline onto the canvas using carbon paper.  I didn't even know carbon paper still existed...LOL.

We then filled in the areas on the canvas with all the colors on our palate. The instructor would come around and make suggestions but really wanted it to be our own creation.  At one point, the instructor stood behind me and I think was trying to ask me tactfully what I was doing with the water?  She them pointed out I need to use certain colors to reflect the sun, boat and island on the water.  I looked somewhat perplexed and then she demonstrated what she meant. 

It was hard to believe almost 3 hours had passed.  I have to say I was quite pleased with the finished product.  Here is my work of art:

And  now for the changing up part of this entry......

I had promised not to make myself crazy at the scale each week with the ups, downs, plateaus and the sometimes slowness at which I am losing.......

First, I have to remind myself I am 70 pounds lighter than my all time high.

Second, I am in much better shape health wise than I was just a year ago.

Third, the number on the scale does not measure who I am and only represents my gravitational pull on the earth......well you know what I mean....LOL

Fourth and this may be the most important........I am NOT quitting Weight  Watchers because it does work  and I will continue to go to my meetings each week BUT what I am changing is........I do not want to be told each week how I am doing on the scale.  I want to know every 4 weeks.  So, when I get weighed they will write it on their records and in my booklet.  I WILL NOT peek at my book and I don't want the person who weighs me to say "oh you had a good week" or "oh you are up a little"  I think going with a 4 week average will help me not make myself crazy  and the scale will not dictate my mood for the day or the week. Make sense???? It does to me. 

If I lose 2 pounds a month....that is fine with me!!! It means I will still be down another 24 pounds by this time next year.  I cannot let the pressure of getting to my goal take me over.......

I was lucky and the 1st 50 pounds came off relatively quickly.  I couldn't expect to continue at that pace but the numbers will continue to go down.......

I think this will help me keep a positive attitude and not so stressed on Sunday mornings.  We will see how it goes.........

See you next week........

More To Figure Out

Last week, I was frustrated at my WW meeting.  The ups and downs I have spoken about before had returned. I talked to my meeting leader for suggestions.  Kay asked me if I like citrus fruits.  Grapefruit.....nope.  Oranges are OK but in all honesty......I am lazy.....I hate peeling them.  I told her I would give it a shot.  Kay also said more protein and lay off the celery.

I asked Jenn to pick me up brussels sprouts and cabbage.  She came home with a cabbage the size of a bowling ball. I am not kidding and it was heavy like bowling ball.   I cooked them both and ended up eating them during the week with my new love.....balsamic vinegar....yum.  Because of my laziness....I peeled the oranges all at once  and put each in it's own zip lock sandwich bag.  I found I really like them cold...right from the fridge. I made shrimp, chicken and turkey.  I also stocked up on raw almonds.

Well, my efforts paid off and I was a great loss at the scales today!!!!

But the hard part is I have new added things to my steer clear list......banana's, grapes, celery (really????) along with  cheese and so many other goodies.  Not that I can't eat any of them......I can have them all.......but just not as a staple every day.

And it's funny when you can't have water and ice....you crave them..I missed my hydraflask with ice and cold, cold water.  After two weeks, we no longer have to boil our water. After running the water for a while and throwing our alot of our recently made ice cubes we are back in business.

I know I was eating too much cheese before WW....but too much celery???? Well as I have said before it is all a learning process.

The other thing that happened this week were all little things in the scheme of things but should I have really had to replace the 4th window motor in my car?? I won't even say how much money I have put into this car to avoid a car payment, the mini blinds in my dining room decided it was time to stop working and break, at first the ice cube maker decided not to work but we got that up and running......none of these are major issues but just enough to have me thinking.......really?????

And also, why is it one second it is Friday night and then next thing I know it is Sunday night. All I did was run, run and run all weekend.  I had gotten tickets to go to the Statesville, NC Hot Air Balloon Festival but Jenn wasn't feeling great.  I woke up at 4:30 to go by myself but then I thought .....this is something I would want to share with someone.  And it is not like you can call someone at 4:30 in the morning and say can you be ready in 45 minutes to drive 100 miles to watch some hot air balloons take off.......so maybe next year......$20 up in smoke......but maybe that happened so I wouldn't miss my WW meeting this morning.

But there were some good things too.....no more boiling water......got my flu shot.......USC won......it was heavenly to wake up yesterday morning and it was bright out.......we are finally feeling a chill in the air.....my sister and brother-in-law came to spend time with us last Sunday afternoon.....I was able to see another NY Giants game on TV.......and life is slowly returning to the new normal in SC.....although for some people I know and were not as lucky as me......the effects of the floods will be part of their lives for months.......maybe years.....maybe forever.......so who am I to not feel blessed.......

I am trying to build up the list of positives to offset the negatives and I think I am doing a pretty good job......the glass is half full theory........

Well that is it for the week.....as the timer goes off and my roasted cabbage is ready to come out of the oven.....

See you next week.........

The 1,000 Year Flood......

Life throws you curve balls......so does mother nature.......

Last week, Columbia SC had over 18 inches of rain.  I have never seen that much rain before.  It went on and on.  We checked around our house hourly.  We woke up to rain, we went to sleep to rain and woke to rain again.  We never lost power.  We did lose water.

You get creative with what you eat since you can't wash the dishes or pots and pans. PB and J becomes a staple......and anything else you can eat without real cooking.  It is funny how creative you can get....LOL.....but probably not the most easy options for my diet.......but that is small potato's (no pun intended)compared to what others have gone through.

My Mom always used to say pray specific.  I prayed for no water in the house and that's what I got......I should have said please don't let any of the flooding waters enter my house.  Oh well....lesson learned.

We were without water for a few days.  We are still on a boil water advisory.  You just don't realize how often you use water.......we have bottled water and we are getting by without much issue.  And we are very lucky and very, very blessed.

Just a few miles from my home is a neighborhood in total devastation.  I was trying to take a short cut and ended up in what I would call a true disaster area.  Home after home there were piles of wood, dry wall, furniture, windows, appliances and just about anything else.  After seeing the carnage.......I felt stupid and shallow.....I was bothered by having no water.......how about no house????

But in all the darkness I have once again seen the good in the state of South Carolina.  The people are amazing.....helping, donating, looking out for each other, first responders at the top of their game and on and on........there are so many things in which South Carolina is last.......but in it's citizens compassion......they are tops!!! Whether it be needing water or a tetanus shot or shelter......people are coming out of the woodwork to help.

The things I have noticed most......the constant sounds of sirens for several days......Chinook helicopters dropping bags of sand into the canals.......port-o-potties all over the place..........the phone waking me up to flash flood warnings......family members checking in on us......and the request for donations being answered in droves.

It has been a hard week to live in Columbia, SC but also a proud one.....once again SC has earned the praise it doesn't often get and it is well earned.

The rain has stopped and the water has started to recede so for many of us the event is over except for the minor inconvenience of boiling water........for some it will be weeks and months before their new normal life will take shape.......until that time they will have their family, friends, neighbors and fellow South Carolinian's to help them along the way........and for that I am extremely proud......

Brief glimpses of memories.....

Have you ever had a flash of a memory even if just for a split second??

Right now we are in the middle of a major water event in Columbia.  I had flashbacks to my house flooding a few years ago due to an inside plumbing issue.  It was a royal pain in the ass......huge fans blowing throughout the house to dry it out, carpet being ripped up, furniture piled all over the place .....it was also two weeks before Christmas but we got through it and the house was put back in order.  But as I lay in bed last night, I could heard the rain pounding on the roof.  I prayed.....a lot .....and several times....... that we wouldn't get water in our house......(OK and a prayed a little not to lose power). So far .....no water in the house and the power has stayed on.

That got me thinking about other times when memories of the past have come back to me.......

Recently, I pulled a spoon out of my silverware drawer.  When I looked at it closely, I realized it was the last spoon from a set of flatware my brother and I bought my Mom one year for Christmas.  We were probably 10 and 12 years old.  We went to Alexander's Dept Store and if I remember correctly spent $12 for the whole set.  And that was close to 50 years ago.

My sister and I were shopping together one day, I told her to stop and close her eyes.  I saw a bottle of the cologne my Dad used to wear.  I opened it and put it under her nose.  She started to cry and said "Dad".

I can never bake a chocolate chip without going back in time.  I am about 5 years old sitting on the kitchen table "helping" my Mom bake Christmas cookies in our 5th floor walk up in the Bronx.  Then my Dad and brother come in the apartment carrying our Christmas tree.  The memory is only a second or two but very clear and vivid.

When Jenn calls and tell me about her new job......... my mind flashes back to the little girl wearing the apple print dress to her first day of kindergarten,

I can't wait until the way I didn't take care of myself for years becomes a glimpse of a memory......I am sure that will take a while......but it will happen.

Just slivers of memories.......for a split second you are taken back in time

So whether it be pouring rains, a spoon, the smell of cologne, making cookies or a little girl in an apple print dress...we can be transported in time......that for the most part brings us back to a place of warmth, happiness and love......not a bad place to go back to......

See you next week......

PS one more question...why is it bad weather whether it be snow or rain makes me want to cook.....is it the smells of the food that are comforting??? Just wondering.......

Learning to throw things out......

In some ways, I am a pack rat.  Not like the hoarders show on TV......I just tend to keep things.

Yesterday, Jenn and I went to the office.  I am going to switch offices soon so it was time to purge and move.  We emptied the overheads and desk drawers.  Then I got overwhelmed.......there was stuff everywhere.  Jenn rolled over the shred bin and I started to go through papers....lots and lots of papers.  Most of them were training materials......all of which have either been updated or are available online. Some of the documents were 4 years old.  Well that shred bin was much heavier by the time I was done.  Then there was a box for things to bring home.  I know I had gotten carried away with things on my desk.....little things here and there....way too much "stuff".  Into the "take it home box" it went. Then we moved the things I don't need right now to my new office.  There was a lot of junk in my new desk drawers so I used hand sanitizer and cleaned them out.  Before I knew it, we were done. I am now partially in 2 offices but the things I have left to move when the official move takes place will be easy to relocate.

Then when we got home I looked at my pile of magazines.......Family Circle, Good Housekeeping, Coastal Living, Weight Watchers and the Food Network......I kept saving them saying on maybe I will want to try this recipe or that decorating idea.....enough was enough.  The recycle bin nows weighs about 50 pounds....OK maybe that is a slight exaggeration......but all the magazines are gone.....well except for a few food network issues which had either holiday suggestions or food I love on the cover.

Last night, I took another trip through my clothes.........once again I decided to get rid of some.  Too big or am I ever really going to wear this again was part of my thought process.

I am ready to pitch my herb garden and trade it in for pumpkins and mums.  No, my spider plants are not getting pitched.....yet.....they tend to last into November.  I usually trade them out for the Christmas lights so they can hang around a bit longer.

During this process of getting rid of things I found some pens I really like, nice new t shirts and there is actually a top on the small chest I have in my bedroom (all the magazines had been piled up there).

Things look fresh and declutered......I still have a lot of "stuff" that at some point I will throw away or pack up but I am not quite ready to do that yet.  I figure it will have to be done before I head to my next location but since I have time before that happens I don't have to do it right now.

The great part was I had the energy to do all these things!!!! Part of the getting healthier and more mobile process.  I keep thinking to myself....just a year ago I couldn't have done this or that.......and that makes me happy.......just part of the long and winding road on my journey.......but at least now the steps are a little easier and lighter.......and on I go.......

See you next week......

Football, Baseball and The Fall.....

I love autumn.......there is hope of 90-100 degree days are finally fading away.  The leaves start changing.....somewhere.  Sweater weather.......not really in SC until December but oh well. And of course there is football......and the winding down of baseball.

Last year, the fall was my turning point. It was then I decided I needed to make some changes to improve my health, mobility and life expectancy.  It is hard to believe it has been about a year since I went back to WW for the zillionth time.  But here I am a year later......more mobile......more confident........and definitely healthier.

I still struggle with compliments.......and want to keep adding "it is a work in progress"......like you wouldn't already know looking at me.

In the last few months, I have added color to my wardrobe, just the way the leaves of green turn to red, orange and gold. We took a ride on the Blue Ridge Highway last October to enjoy the foliage.  I never thought of how the leaves and I have traveled the same path in the last year.

Then there is football and baseball.....

 Baseball is a long season which sometimes makes me crazy because of its length.  In the same way, my WW journey is a long one. The Yankees have been on a journey like me.....in first place, close to first place, falling a few games out of first place but holding on to their wild card hopes.  I am not where I had hoped to be after a year but was reminded today at my meeting ...... where would I be today if I had never started.  You sometimes have to reset goals and be realistic.  The NSV's matter a lot too (non-scale victories).  For example, Friday night I met my friend, Mary for dinner at Cracker Barrel.  I checked ahead of time about which foods would be my best choice.  I wanted a biscuit so bad but passed it up. I could have had it but was it worth 5 points and then the points for the butter on it......not this time.  I had bought some new capris and hadn't worn them yet.  I decided to wear them Friday night.  because they fit better than what I had been wearing.... right away I thought they were too tight.  Jenn told me they were supposed to look like that.......just not used to it.  Mary greeted me with a big smile and said "your pictures do not do you justice"......I still find it hard to wrap my head around those kinds of comments/compliments.  I don't think the fat girl will ever let me go......the lifelong hold she has had on my head and heart will not be easily removed if ever......but she is getting smaller and no longer front and center.

Football as it was explained to me once by Lou Holtz at a Ladies Football Clinic is all about 10 yards.  Get 10 yards then go for another 10 yards and then another until you score.  With WW, it is about 5 pounds at a time.  As I have said before, I cannot think about my final WW goal but I can handle 5 pounds.  Sometimes you get knocked back in yardage in a football game and sometimes at WW the scale is up a little.....then other times there is a long pass or run and you move more than the 10 yards........that is like the weeks when the scale moves down more than I anticipated.

I was raised loving the fall......leaves, pumpkins, apply picking, cool weather.....the changes of  the seasons.  While I start to enjoy the changes that make up life.

I was raised loving football and baseball......
New York Yankees.... from Mantle, Marris and  Yogi to Jeter, Rivera and Petit
New York Giants......from Y A Tittle, Sam Huff and Frank Gifford to Eli, Beckham and Cruz

And now while I am in the autumn of my years.....I am loving life..... with more confidence, much improved  health and increased mobility.......one pound at a time.

See you  next week......

Saying Yes More Than No

Part of the metamorphosis I am going through involves saying "yes" to more things.  The "no's" are becoming less.

And you never know where your inspiration might come from.......

Is it my WW pals?? They make Sunday mornings special and are a constant source of support.  They share the successes and help me through the plateau's and down times.  They understand what I  am going through.  I have bared my soul to them and feel such a sense of not being alone when I am with them.

Is it my old dear friends?? They have been encouraging and positive.  They know this battle is not easy for me.  They also try to make it easier by adjusting menu's when I am with them.  They also comment on the things I can now do with greater ease.  They write notes after I post my blog that make me feel like I can go another week, another day or another hour and not give up my focus.

Is it my family who have been with me all all along?? They in some cases have been the reflection in the mirror I did not want to see.  They have had the tough talks with me.  They have felt my pain. I think at times they had given up on me not because they wanted to but I don't think they knew how to help without causing me additional hurt. They have known most intimately....... the fat Donna, the Donna suffering with her weight and  the Donna who had given up on herself.  They still loved me but had no idea what to do or how to help.  They suggested diets and surgery and exercise and healthy eating options.  They even asked my friends to talk to me about my weight.

Pain, pain and more pain........it is a real physical pain......not just the hips and knees but the heart and soul.  You do begin to question your worth to yourself or anyone........

Someone once said, "you cannot move a grain of sand without changing the world." (I looked it up and for the life of me could not find who to credit it to.)

For me the grain of sand that moved was something that happened a little more than a year ago.......I read a post on FB from someone I knew in high school.  No, we were not best friends but more acquaintances in passing.  The post was about wanting to do new things at least once a month.

That brief post really got me thinking......I wanted to live my life not merely exist.  I didn't want to continue to say no to things.  I wanted to stop worrying about anything and everything.  No longer was I going to be a victim of my own doing........I wanted to be the hero of my story.

This week,  I passed the 60 pound mark.  It seemed like I hit the 50 pound loss ages ago but now I realize it doesn't matter how long it takes.  Like they say in our meeting "it is not a race......it is a journey". I know I have to focus on the 5 pounds at a time.  And even with those ugly plateau's  and the roller coaster ride this journey takes......I know I am in it this time until I get to my goal.......not WW goal (since I haven't weighed that much since high school...LOL) but my goal.

When I look back at this year so far I see so many more "yes's" in my life.  And while there are still changes coming and some of them are big changes, I see such a different person both inside and out now......

So while I have to thank my family, my friends, my WW buddies..............you all really have no choice.....you are stuck with me......

I really have to thank Deborah Ennis Duitch whose  FB post changed my life. That short post was a turning point for me in the right direction........and for that I will be eternally grateful to Deborah........

None of us ever know how our actions or words can change someones path .......it can get someone through a tough day.......or on a new road........simple words that can change lives......

Now my word is Yes.......and that is far better than all those No's I have said along the way.........

Oh and for your entertainment.....I had Jenn take 2 pictures of me....just the face....LOL.....one from the front and the other profile......I think you will see the differences between that and a photo from 2 years ago.......

two years ago.......

and today.......

........and for laughs here is a profile shot (please ignore the long scar from the side of my eye.......the Dr. at the hospital insisted it would be come part of my laugh lines or crows feet.......whatever).....I just wanted you all to see my more defined neck....LOL

See you next week.................