Thank you Reuben Miller.....

I never met Mr. Miller yet he has changed my life.  While I was asleep in our Bronx apartment one summer night, Reuben was in a car accident.  I am not sure how but my Dad ended up being his attorney. When the case was settled, my Dad took his fee and put it down on the only home he would ever own in Pearl River, NY.

I was a Sophomore in High School and hated my parents for making me leave my friends in the Bronx,  I was mad that I had to leave Preston High School (an all girls Catholic High School in the Bronx), I was angry that I had to be the "new kid" and go to a school where I didn't know a soul.....especially in 10th grade and in a town where it seemed like everyone had known each other since birth.

By Senior Year, I had a lot of friends and was sorry when it was time to leave PRHS.

The month before my graduation, we headed to Parris Island in the Low Country of South Carolina to see my older brother graduate from basic training with the USMC.  As we drove the 700 plus miles in our family station wagon, all I could think of was the long rural roads, old worn down houses and the people who spoke so darn slow.  Why on earth would anyone want to live there???

Well the course of events set in motion by Mr. Miller that summer night have followed me through all of these years.  Friends that moved away and later reminded me that there was life outside of NY.  Leave NY ...never...... I was born there and I would die there.......no so fast.....

The path I have traveled led me to Yonkers, NY......back to Pearl River, NY......on to Columbia, SC and now to of all places .....the Low Country of SC.....right outside of Beaufort. Not far from the beach which you all know is my hearts desire.  I have found a place with a WW meeting each week, a writers group, people that meet once a month to have dinner at each others house.....a place that gives me many of the social outlets I am looking for at this stage in my life. When you are in high school or college or have children friendships are easy to come by.  As you get older those easy ways of connecting with others fall by the wayside.  I am lucky to have moved to a place where unless you never leave your house there are a plethora of opportunities.  Also this pushes me out of my comfort zone which is a challenge but also good for me.

Some of the views I now enjoy.....

While I drink my coffee......

I was running some errands and stopped at the waters edge while Jenn snapped this picture........you know your shrimp is fresh when you see these docked at stands nearby.....

And as I drive home each night, I cross the bridge leading out of  Beaufort towards St. Helena Island...... in my head and heart I say ......"I am home".......

Thank you Reuben Miller...thank you so much!!!!

See you next week........

Sunday Evening Reflections......

Looking back on the last two weeks makes my head spin.......

As I wrote in my last post, the Columbia house closed and I was busy unpacking and making my new location feel like home.  Jenn and I were making pretty good progress....in fact great progress......

And then we heard the words......HURRICANE and possible EVACUATION.......really ???

We knew for a few days it was a possibility.....we discussed it.....I lost sleep over it.......and I hoped it would just blow out to sea.

Meanwhile we were also doing daily commutes to Columbia/Lexington (don't ask why......it was the right decision) and will most likely go on for a while longer.

Back to the potential hurricane.......

It makes you think about what is important......what is of value to you......and helped me get through some clutter.

Packing clothes was the easy part........act like you are going on vacation.

We also learned to eat out of the fridge and freezer in case we were without power for a few days ......at least we would not have lost everything in them (how do you spell generator???)

Then there is the practical side......get some cash from the ATM, make sure you have water, batteries, medications and non-perishable food (how do you spell peanut butter???).

You take everything inside from outside your house..... welcome mats, decorative flags, plants, rocking chairs and on and on.....

Next its the important documents....birth certificates, passports, social security cards, banking info, credit cards, debit cards, check books......I kept them all in a big green plastic tub (no not a bin but a TUB....actually it was two tubs).  It weighed more than I care to admit. It was a collection of docs from over the last 35 years.  It had been weeded through before but never with the thoroughness it was this time.  There was no reason to save EVERY vet bill for a dog I have owned for 11 years, auto insurance renewals (why keep them....I only needed the one for the most recent coverage).  Did I really need 3 copies of the program from Jenn's High School, College and Graduate School graduations?  I kept one from each occasion. I don't think I still need a homeowners insurance policy from a house I sold in 1998.... do you?

There were some things I did not pitch.....birthday cards from my Mom, some notes Jenn had written me at various points in her life, I had my parents Marriage License, my Dad's birth certificate, his induction papers (obviously Mom had sent me a packet of docs at some point).  There was also a letter form Mom about how she wanted things handled after she passed......the first line said "I want to be cremated"....whew.....thank goodness she hadn't wanted this handled another way......too late now.

By the time I was done, I had more than one trash bag full of items to shred.  Jenn has spent a great deal of time patiently putting a page or two at a time in the shredder.The shredder would get hot and stop working. Then as if it had a mind of it's own start running again (don't worry I am on the hunt for a new shredder).

Well we now have all the docs that survived the cut in one green tub.  And it would not take a crew of four to lift up. It is organized and I have promised myself I will NOT let it get so messy again......

So other than the important papers, what did I want to take in case my house no longer existed after the storm......2 Christmas angels my Mom made me on her last visit to SC a year before she passed, a pillow made from some material found in Mom's apartment when it was being cleaned out, the wind chimes containing some of Mom's ashes and the painting of the courthouse where my Dad tried cases for many years (it has hung in every place I have lived since Mom gave it to me years ago after Dad died). These are things that could not be replaced.  I knew if I lost all my photos chances are one of my siblings would probably have another copy.

The fortunate news was we were 10 miles outside the mandatory evacuation area.  We stayed put.  I will admit a few times I wondered if we had made the right decision. There were a lot of flooded roads and we lost power (but not for a long period of time). I did heard some loud noises during the night and woke up to find some rather large branches had hit the roof.  Overall we were very, very fortunate.

It has been several days now any everything is back in place.  Jenn took care of a lot of that while I worked on Monday (USC was closed so she had the day off).

As I sit on my porch this evening enjoying an adult beverage (a low calorie one ...don't worry).....I think of how the week could have turned out and feel very grateful!!!!

The daily routine of life although in a new location is happening.  Finally, I am starting to feel in control of my life again......

I am trying to ignore all the weather reports today starting with the words.....Hurricane Maria and the spaghetti potential paths of the storm.......I can worry about that in a few days or a week.......

For tonight I am just going to enjoy the sunset and the tranquility that surrounds me.

See you next week.......

 PS To my WW buddies....I miss you so much....the meetings are not the same without you.  Well, I guess I will grow on the new group.....eventually.....

The Kitchen Smells Like Home......

The last few weeks have been slightly crazy.......

We packed the house, moved things to storage and started to unpack.  We have made address changes, driving longs distances on a daily basis, rise early and fall asleep exhausted.

We closed on the Columbia house last week.  Wednesday night, Jenn locked the door of 759 Fountain Lake Road for a last time.  The closing on Thursday ended a 17 year run at the place I have lived for the longest part of my life.  I didn't have the same feeling of sadness I felt when I moved from Pearl River, NY to SC.

It was time to move on......

Now, it is the unpacking and figuring out where everything goes.  Finding out which box the strainer is in......finding out I have way too many rolls of toilet paper, boxes of pasta, and chic peas......I have pitched things I didn't pitch while packing in the first place.

I wake up and am not really sure where I am.

I have had to become much more organized.....laying out my clothes at night, make lunch for the next day in the evening, I shower at night and everything I need is left by the back door ready for the early morning trip.

I got lost trying to find Lowes (even with google maps) just to purchase a doormat and a Swiffer.

Several things were hard about selling the Columbia house.....the packing, the constant cleaning, keeping the house ready to view at a moments notice and the worked required of the new owners. The poor dog went on more rides while people were looking at the house than I care to think about or ever want to do again. It was also hard to not cook like we normally do.  I had to worry that someone might show up and not like the smell of cabbage, brussels sprouts or something in the crock pot.

I will continue to search for items .......items that I knew where they were like the back of my hand.....I am sure at some point they will be found....or replaced.

I am glad I have a membership with AAA due to the miles I am racking up. .....too many for my poor old Escape.  I make sign of the cross each time I get in the car and pray for a safe journey......... and that we don't breakdown either way.

Meanwhile, as a new chapter of my life is underway......it will take a while to feel at home and end the searching and thinking "I know I saw that yesterday somewhere"......I will get through the three containers of bread crumbs, mail will stop having the yellow forwarding label on it and I will not be making weekly trips to the landfill or Good Will (even my Christmas tree didn't make the cut to stay....we had a cathedral ceilings before.....not any more)......the microwave doesn't turn as it heats things up which leads to several attempts to heat something up......nothing bad just changes.

Today......we made sauce.  The kitchen smells like Sunday.  The kitchen smells of home cooking.The kitchen smells like home.

I am hoping Hurricane Irma turns out to sea especially after seeing what has gone on in Texas this past week.  I have started formulating a game plan if needed.  It would include moving all those boxes still not in the house into my kitchen.  We will just have to wait and see how it plays out.......

See you next week........

Just 15 Minutes......

In the last few weeks, I have gotten to spend time with old friends. The title of this entry is about how long it really took to catch up.

Fifteen minutes and you can get through 15 years.  Then not missing a beat you are in the present. Not that you don't revisit the past during your time together but you kind of bounce back and forth.

The great part about spending time with old friends is you spend time with them because you want to .....not because you have to.....

Yes, we all have aged and our life experiences have taken us down different roads but there is that common bond of shared experiences from years past that bind us.

Whether it be Peggy and I laughing about stapling BINGO cards for a school fundraiser (or actually NOT being allowed to staple BINGO cards at a PTA meeting) or Debbie, Santo and family members sharing memories of vacations at Wildwood NJ. Watching the younger crowd (they used to be the kids) laughing together as adults.

I enjoyed seeing how all of these friends lives have changed......whether it be at a beautiful new home with a pool to die for and dinner by the water or how people have adapted to the changes in their lives and made choices to live someplace other than New York. There was laughter and a few tears (are you surprised knowing me).  There were soul searching discussions over drinks and conversations over coffee at sunrise about what's next for each of us We didn't waste time looking back with regret but lots of excitement about the future.

I think many of us were aware that life has thrown us curve balls but we have dealt with them and moved on.  One thing I see as a common thread with all these friends was looking to the future with excitement but also knowing that our time is somewhat limited as compared with when we first met.

In your 20's and 30's you feel immortal.....you are young and have more years in front of you than behind you.  Then in the blink of an eye.....we are in our 50's and 60's and we now have more days in the past that in the future.  Maybe that is what makes these times more precious and important.

As the days of the summer dwindle toward fall, my friends and I are in the autumn of our lives. While there may be some limitations as to what we might be able to physically do and our recovery time from a fun night may take longer than 3 hours of sleep, a bagel and a Yoo Hoo.....we have much still on our "to do" list (I refuse to use the term bucket list).  No one said "I can't"....no one said "never again"....why say those things?? I heard more "I am looking forward to's" and "next time".....and that's the beauty of growing older........you really do not have to prove anything to anyone anymore.  You can decide it is time to stop climbing the corporate ladder and be content to do a good job doing something you like for the rest of your career . Or you can finally find the time to do the things you love that you just couldn't fit in between raising a family and work commitments

It's a a great feeling and so freeing......and it all starts with those 15 minutes to catch up....

Thanks to Peggy and Debbie and Santo and the rest of the Wildwood Gang......it was a great!!

See you next week......

PS. I promise when September rolls around I will get back to my once a week entries. The summer has been a little crazy to say the least!!

The Long Hot Summers.....

A few months ago, I wrote that the year is over at Memorial Day.  The rest of the year seems to fly by. The stores have started to load up on "Back to School" supplies and you know what will be next......yes....Halloween decorations.

Off in the distance I can smell the scent of pumpkin everything.....especially pumpkin spice coffee creamer or Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte.....

Although the heat of the past week is just a reminder we are getting ready to head into the dog days of summer.  These are the days where a wall of heat hits you the second you walk out the door.  The days where you go from your air conditioned house to an air conditioned car to an air conditioned store or office.

I think back on the days of my childhood in the Bronx......no air conditioner.....in fact when I shared a bedroom with my siblings there was no fan.  We were in a 2 bedroom apartment on the top floor of a 5th floor walk-up. The heat was stifling and you just hoped to fall asleep even though it was so hot.  I would flip my pillow over hoping to feel some coolness against my face.

When we moved from the South Bronx (near Yankee Stadium) to the Pelham Bay section of the Bronx, my sister and I shared a room.  In the summer there would be warm breezes that would make it's way through the alleyway between our upstairs apartment and the house next door.

When we moved out of the Bronx, I was 14.  We had upgraded to box fans in the window,  I was lucky and the fan pointed right at my bed.  My sister on the other hand had to sleep with her head at the bottom of the bed to try and catch a breeze from the fan.

It wasn't until a heatwave when I was pregnant with Jenn that I finally had a window air conditioner. It was in the bedroom of our apartment.  In order to survive the heat of the summer....we lived in our bedroom.  I ran a phone cord down the hall to the bedroom.  The TV was moved to the bedroom. An we even ate in the bedroom.

By the time we moved to our first home in Pearl River, we added 2 more window air conditioners.  I think someone gave us one and we saved enough money for the third. Now each bedroom had an a/c and the living room too.  I used to dread the annual "let's drag the air conditioners out of the basement day which usually fell around Memorial Day and the return trip to the basement in the fall".  They were heavy units and we had to take them up two flights of stairs.  I can assure you this was not done without some swearing and sweating. But the relief they provided was just wonderful.  Our windows which moved up and down with ropes and weights groaned as we would slide the units into place. They barely cleared each window.

When we moved to South Carolina, we learned the joys of CENTRAL AIR !!!! OMG....no more trips to the basement......no more worrying the unit might fall out the windows.....no more blocking windows !!

While the summers are hotter in South Caroline than they are in New York and Columbia seems to be the hottest spot in the state.......the central air makes it much more bearable and makes me much more bearable too......

I know the summers here are the payback for wearing flip flops in December and never really having to put my shorts away.  And yes....I have become a southern weenie.......I complain it is cold when the temps are in the low 50's....really!!!

Well, the days on the calendar are moving ahead and although I won't feel the crispness of fall leaves under my shoes or need a sweater until December....at least the long hot summer will have passed and on we go through the rest of the year........

See you next week......

The Revenge of Barry Manilow.....

They say turnabout is fair play......and this week I found out that statement is true....

Two years ago, Jenn agreed to accompany me to see Barry Manilow.  It was not her first choice on how to spend an evening or her hard earned money.  We went with my sister, Cheryl, too. I had a great time and so did my sister.  As for Jenn, let's just say she got through the evening.  Her only comment was " he better sing Copacabana"....which he did for his encore.....thanks goodness.

Well time passed and there were no comment on paybacks....which we know can be a b****.

A few months ago, Jenn found out there was going to be a concert in Raleigh with groups she wanted to see but that would have to be an overnight trip.

Fortunately (I guess), Jenn found out there was going to be another date for the concert she wanted to attend in Charlotte.

And then it happened.....the words I dreaded hearing....."Mom, remember when we went to see Barry Manilow......."  I thought "uh oh.....here it comes...."

Jenn told me she wanted me to go to the concert with her.  We would be seeing Paula Abdul, Boyz II Men and New Kids On The Block.

It was hard for me to say no considering our trip to see Barry.  The tickets were purchased and all we had to do was wait. Jenn was looking toward it with excitement and I was looking forward to it with dread.

Last Thursday was the big night.  We headed to Charlotte and made it there in time for the start of the concert.. The arena was packed.  Our seats were great (why do they provide seat when all people do is stand)?

I liked Boyz II Men (which I thought was Boys To Men) and  I didn't know any of Paula Abdul's songs but the choreography was great.

Now we get to the main act.....NKOTB......

And I do like Donny Wahlberg on Blue Bloods so seeing him as part of the group was different.  He definitely had a lot of fans there.....

I have pictures of Jenn from her 5th birthday when she got a basket filled with NKOTB shirt, sweater, sheets, pillow cases and bedspread.

And here I was sitting with her more than 25 years later watching the same group.

NKOTB preformed for over 2 hours.  They were entertaining, engaging and funny.

It was a great show and I had a wonderful time.....much, much better than I anticipated.

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED FROM ALL THIS:

1.  I was not the oldest person at the concert.
2.  I know how to dress appropriately for concerts.
3. A three act concert is not over in 2- 2 1/2 hours....LOL.....the concert started at 7:30 and ended after 11:30. What was I thinking...3 acts in 2- 2 1/2 hours????
4.  I should not go to concerts during the week!! I need more than 3 hours sleep!! Since we were almost 100 miles from home and on the 9th floor of the parking garage we walked in the house around 2:15.  By the time I was changed and ready to go to sleep it was 2:45 and the alarm clock went off at 6:00AM.
5, I used to be able to get by on 2 hours sleep and wake up eat a bagel and  drink a YooHoo and I was good to go......not anymore.....
6.  Never ever ask Jennifer to go someplace or do something she really doesn't want to....LOL....well actually if the payback is as good as that evening was it I will be glad to pay back the favor!!!!

7.  Most important.......I can try new things. and enjoy them....this part of Chapter Three.....saying yes to more often than no.....

See you next week.......

Hi....... Remember Me????

For the first time in the 5 or so years I have been writing this blog, I missed writing for 3 weeks in a row.  As a writer that is unacceptable!! As a person trying to juggle several balls in the air sometimes something has got to give.......unfortunately that meant by passing my blog.

At some point, I will share all that is going on in my life but suffice it to say my head is spinning all the time with all the craziness that is life.  Some do better at keeping it all together.....I on the other hand let it overwhelm me, confuse me and let my mind wander in a zillion directions.

And then there are the emotions.....dear God......the range of emotions.....I keep telling myself this is why I am a good writer....because I can feel things at so many levels......from sadness to joy and everything else in between.

The changes and craziness have put my quest to get healthy (aka lose weight) at a dead halt.  I do not have the flexibility to cook and eat all the things I love that help the pounds drop. Life has also thrown things in my way so I have no been able to get to the gym as often as I would like too.

But this whirlwind should end soon.......hopefully.....I am praying it does.

It is time for me to take back control of somethings.......today, I start tracking my food again (it is so important to keep track of what I eat and not assume that I know the points value), water,water,water (get the hint)....and move my body whenever I can (my fitbit was not sending out reminders at 10 of each hour to remind me I had not moved....that issue has now been resolved). I have to figure out foods I can eat that will help me but stay within the limitations I have right now.

One the positive side or the ledger......

I have made the UPS man crazy.  Most of my online clothes purchases have arrived and had to be returned due to being TOO BIG (so unusual for me!!). I have shipped things back and requested the next size down which has provided a better fit vs just hanging on me.  I also am paying less now for clothes because of the smaller sizes I am requesting.  I knew for years I was paying more for some of my clothes due to size so it sure is nice to no longer pay the add on fee!! I even went down another cup size in my bras!!....ok TMI LOL).

I was able to help Jenn mow the lawn yesterday.  In all honesty, Jenn did at least 2/3 of the lawn BUT I did the other 1/3....slowly and carefully.....I keep forgetting how unlevel the backyard is and well you all know my history of clumsiness......I was soaked to the skin in sweat but I was able to push the mower (not self propelled) to complete my portion.  Jenn did her side using one arm to push the mower (until the stitches come out tomorrow from here recent procedure) and I trudged along with aching knees and hips.....but we got it done!!

I have two writers conventions coming up in the fall....of course they couldn't be spread out....they are back to back weekends....one in Beaufort and one on Pawley's Island. I am super excited about both events as I throw myself more into the passions of my life!!!

Lots of changes heading my way......I will fill you in as I move along.....all good things....promise!!

See you next week.....and that's a promise too.......