Trying To Connect The Dots.....Random Stuff

Quote of the week: "Above all be the heroine of your life not the victim"- Nora Ephrom

If you are under 30, you might want to skip this entry.  If you are 40 some of this you might get.  50+..... bingo......I am pretty sure you will understand....

I am going to try and somehow pull all of this entry into one that at the end makes it look like I knew where I was going all along......LOL.....let's see how it goes......

The week included a holiday,  a 2nd snow event in as many weeks, a delayed opening at work and an office move.  My brother had a birthday.  And on the 20th, it was 33 years since my Dad passed away.

Talking with my brother about our shared experiences made us both laugh.  The scary part was these memories were well over 50 years ago.

My Dad was just 51 when we lost him.  ALL of his children have out lived him.  How could it be 33 years?  It doesn't seem that long ago.  He missed knowing several of his grandchildren and never became a great grandparent.  His children all lived within 10 minutes of the only house he would ever own until he passed. Born in the Bronx and died in Pearl River less than 30 miles from where he was born.  His children have all moved to new locations much further than he might have anticipated. There have been births, deaths, marriages and divorces.....all without Dad.

When you start to realize your friendships outside your family go back 20, 35 and even 45 years it is astounding, mind boggling and also scary.....

This summer I will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of my move to South Carolina.

As you can see I am not talking about insignificant periods of time here.......

I do struggle with saying my age and have had comments made about my age that hurt my feelings......the same way comments about my weight have hurt me in the past ( I hear fewer of these since people recognize I am working and focus on losing weight and improved health).

But.......I have started to realize my age is a gift.  How many people have I lost who would have given anything to make it to 62? Trying new things may still be intimidating but I now push myself vs passing up an opportunity.

This week I went to another dinner......alone.  Before I left the house, I thought I was going to be sick....physically sick.  I knew if I gave into my fears I would be limiting myself and not be able to enjoy the new opportunities.  I went to the dinner and had a wonderful time.  I am looking forward to next month!!

I signed up for another writers seminar on memoir writing which I will attend alone. For some reason, I have no fear attending those alone ......maybe because you know when you walk in the room you are with people who have similar interests.

The hard part about being a writer is that people don't get to see your work.  Unlike an artist or photographer or a knitter (Kathy you new this was coming ....LOL) when you write it is private until you have a finished product and have gone through a zillion revisions.

 OK here is the challenge....trying to tie all of this together.....

When I was 30 I felt 60 was old......now that I have passed that benchmark.......I don't see it that way.  True, there are things my body can no longer do with ease. But in my head and heart.....I am still young.

Maybe in some ways.....age is eye opening.......you appreciate life more....the sunrises....the sunsets....the laughter.....waking up each day..........and the love and joy for a life filled with family and friends.

I still see a long path ahead of me with adventures, challenges and doing things that haven't even made my "to do" list yet.

While I can speak about events from 20, 30, 40 or 50 years ago......don't let that fool you.......age is just that....... a number......... and I am no where near close to the finish line yet.

See you next week............

PS......

Good things this week:
1.  Jenn and I are still #1 in the football pool !!
2.  I experimented with a WW banana pound cake and it came out great (not like last weeks experiment that ended up in the trash).
3.  I found out I can watch CBS shows live on Hululive (for some reason I thought they were delayed).....no more cable TV here !!
4.  With a great deal of assistance, my office was moved (4th move in about 3 years) in less than an hour.  I was grateful to the guys who crawled under my desk to hook up my computer so I really never missed a beat work-wise.
5.  One night this week I pulled in my driveway at 7:40 PM !!!!!!
6.  A 2 hour delayed opening meant sleeping until 6:00 AM and not leaving the house until 7:00 AM!!! WOO HOO !!!!

One thing I forgot to mention last week that was fun.  Never ever tell me you are thinking about doing something that I think is a fabulous idea !! My poor friend, Mary, mentioned she would like to get a second piercing in her ears. I was relentless in encouraging her (basically a pain in the ass).  Before Mary knew it we were at the jewelers and she was getting it done.  being the good friend I am......I pulled a chair over and watched with a huge grin on my face !!

A bunch of random things make for an easy week in the journal of gratitude........

Quote for the week: "Hope begins when you stand in the dark and look out in the light"......from the Hallmark Movie, "The Christmas Train"

For the last 10 years or so,  I have been writing 5 good things about each day in a journal.. The stack of journals is getting pretty impressive.  From time to time, I will go back and see what made for a good day 2 years ago or 5 years ago.  Sometimes it is a simple comment, other times I can't remember what my entry meant and then there are the lines that might sound cryptic and only I understand what they mean.

At some point when I am no longer around, they might get pitched but then again I would love to have had at least one journal of my Mom's to see what made her happy.  I would say my Dad but I don't see this daily exercise as a guy thing.

Last week was such an easy week to find things to write about......there were days when I could have written 6 or 7 or 8 things that made me happy......I love weeks like that !!!!

None of the items on last week's list cost a lot of money which proves that at least to me that money doesn't buy happiness.

Here are some of the entries:
1.   I was given a Santa Claus hat with a tiara attached.
2.   A friend picked up Edamame noodles for me at Costco.
3.   The snow didn't melt for a few days and looked beautiful
4.   We are number #1 on the football pool for the year and amazingly have picked all the playoff games correctly.
5.   I went to Hilton Head for the first time and had lunch with friends.
6.   I binge watched "The Crown"....do I really have to wait until 2019 for Season 3 ???
7.   I had an amazing grilled pork chop at Mary's and prepared by Brandon the Grill Master.
8.   I tasted banana/strawberry moonshine and it was awesome..
9.   Jenn found me cauliflower pizza crusts at Trader Joe's
10. We were able to buy a 16 oz container of Locatelli at Sams for $4 less than what we would have spent at Publix for the same size container.
11.  I joined two writers groups and found a couple of workshops coming up (one on Memoirs which is right up my alley!!).
12.  One of the writer's groups will even share my blog (and if I had a website they would share that too).
13. I am having a ring resized (a smaller size than I used to wear)...grand total $10.
14. The new button down nightshirts I ordered at Christmas in a smaller size.... fit !! (time to pitch the old nightshirts).
15. Getting back on track with Weight Watchers feels so good...I feel so much more in control !!

And that's not all the entries.....

I left out the clarity of the stars some nights, getting home safely in the rain and fog, I am lucky to have someone willing to let Jenn and I camp out at her house once (and last week twice) a week, I had a three day weekend,

Finally,  I have the glow of my ceramic Christmas Tree to look at each night as I fall asleep.....only 49 more weeks to go......

See you next week......

Snow and Ice......this is South Carolina .....correct???

"I have traveled the world over, but no matter where I go the Lowcountry still calls me home."

Pat Conroy

In September, we had a hurricane.  It wasn't tremendous in magnitude but was enough to flood roads. and lose power.  Roughly 10 miles down the road, there was mandatory evacuation. It was hurricane season so this was not a huge surprise.  Hurricane Irma......we decided to stay put and fortunately although there was flooding....we suffered no significant damage. I understood that where I was moving the term "hurricane season" would take on a new meaning.

Hurricane season ends and all is quiet until the heat starts to return in the late spring......

All is quiet.......

Until recently, that statement was true......

It has been colder than normal in South Carolina and definitely colder in the lowcountry.

Here are some of the signals how cold it has been.....

-I have been wearing a jacket on a regular basis

- I wore gloves each morning

- I wore a scarf covering my mouth (not to keep me quiet) in order to keep the cold air from burning   my throat and aggravating my asthma

- and the most shocking signal.....I traded in my beloved flip flops/sandals for closed toe shoes ( I did go without socks and the shoes had no backs on them) but my toes were covered

Then we heard the "S" word.......the word that raises panic like just about no other in the south......SNOW......the reports were varied.....we would get snow....it would miss us.....we would get ice, sleet and freezing rain (I know there is a difference in those three terms but am not sure exactly what the difference is.....for me they all mean a greater chance of my biggest fear......falling)....

I decided on Tuesday night to plan on staying put Wednesday and see what happened.

The ice started in the morning....ugh....ice.....

I will drive in snow but I do not screw with ice.  Then there was the switch over to snow.  It was so beautiful and went on for hours.  We ended up with about 4 inches of snow and a layer of ice underneath.  We lost power for a few hours.  The fireplace was put into service and provided great warmth all day and evening.

The most surprising part is the snow is still here 5 days later. There are still icy patches on the road.  I now remember what the term fishtail means. I can't remember another time in the almost 20 years I have lived in the south, where any snow wasn't gone within 24 to 48 hours max.

It is supposed to go into the 50's tomorrow so all remnants of the winter treat will be gone.

Was it an inconvenience ....yes......

Was it treacherous to drive in....yes due to the layer of ice underneath......

Did I hate driving the backroads in the dark for fear of not seeing a patch of ice......absolutely.....

On the plus side......I loved waking up to see it each morning......I am glad it didn't melt in a few hours......and I didn't fall on the ice !!

To me it was an extra Christmas gift delivered a little late but then again I am trying to keep my Christmas feeling all year round .....

See you next week.......

 PS I pitched all the holiday goodies.  Back to veggies and chicken and fruit.  Back to counting points and trying to get my steps in each day.......

Someone on TV said don't call it a New Year's Resolution...call it a commitment.  With the sale of the house, moving, packing, unpacking, job re-org behind me .....along with the other things going on in my life......the New Year gave me a chance to get back on track and that is where my head is at....let's hope the rest of me follows suit.....

The 365 Days of Christmas........

"I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present and the Future.  The Spirits of all three shall strive within me.  I will not shut out the lessons they teach." as spoken by Ebenezer Scrooge courtesy of Charles Dickens in "A Christmas Carol".

I love the feeling of this time of year. I watched a clip from the "Honeymooners" where Ralph Kramden talks about how people seem happier during the holidays (google it.....it is worth the watch).

It always make me sad when it is time to put everything away for another year.  Due to heading back to work Tuesday, we took the decorations down yesterday.  The house always looks so bare and dull.

Last year,  I toyed with the idea of keeping the big tree up all year,  I was quite surprised at how many people said "do it!".  Since we sold the house in August, I guess I was right to pack it up around New Year's Day.  I don't think a Christmas tree on display would have been a big selling point while the house was on the market.

So here I sit on a new location and once again I was trying to decide.....keep it up or put it away?? In the end, I caved and the tree is now packed away.  Since I do not know many people in my new location, I felt keeping the big tree up might seem strange as I invite new neighbors into my home. It would require me explaining that I am a writer and I wanted to write about what it is like to have my Christmas tree up for 365 days if not more.

I did decide to leave out the small ceramic tree in my bedroom.  I will light it each night and fall asleep to the glow of the small bulbs.  Maybe next year for the big tree......we will see.

While packing away the decorations, I really took a lot of time examining the ornaments that hung on the tree.  In November, I had gone through the four tubs...yes, four tubs of ornaments trying to decide which should go on the tree and which would just stay packed away.  I didn't pray over each ornament when I was deciding if it was going to make the cut or spend Christmas still packed away.  Ornaments such as the Popsicle reindeer Jenn made in kindergarten stayed in the tub along with the pine cone decorated with glitter or any of the family ornaments that were bought when there were three of us.

As I examined each ornament last night, I started taking pictures of the ones that best describe me and saw a recurring them and you could definitely tell my likes, desires and dreams.

When you are putting up the tree you might talk about an ornament here or there that brings back a memory but I didn't really take the time to examine and think about why some were chosen over others.  As I packed them away, it became infinitely clear why I made my choices. I think you will agree as I share them with you......

My loves:

love lighthouses

of course cheese made the list

My dreams:

more time to write....get published??

My Realities:

My goals for next year:

well maybe not this dress but continued focus on improved health, weight and exercise

self-explanatory

And then there's Jenn....to push me, encourage me and kick my butt when needed......

I am going to try and be like Scrooge after the visits from the 3 Spirits.....I am going to work to keep Christmas in my heart not just from Thanksgiving through Christmas but all the year through.  I have seen dreams come true this year and Chapter Three finally in action.  I have also felt the pain of endings and am seeking peace in my decisions. 

Merry Christmas!!! I really have until January 6th (Little Christmas) to say this and still be in the season......also now I can say it since I am going to try and feel it everyday (thank you Mr. Dickens!!).

As 2017 ends, I think I have come out of this year a better person than I was when the year started.

Happy New Year!!!!

I hope that 2018 brings all of you good health, much happiness and love.....for in the end isn't love all that matters??

See you next week....or maybe tomorrow as we start a new book with 12 chapters and 365 pages.....

Moving forward while looking backward......

A few weeks ago I wrote about embracing my new location on Saint Helena's Island, SC......

Last night,  we went to the Boat Parade at the Waterfront Park in Beaufort. The weather was prefect as we sat and watched the sailboats  decorated with lights pass by one by one.

This morning, we dropped off gifts for the Santa Lunch held nearby.  The lunch is for the children of military deployed from Parris Island and the Marine Air Corp Station. We were greeted by people wearing Santa hats and Elf hats.  They so appreciated the toys we donated for both girls and boys.  We shouted "Merry Christmas" as we drove away.

Later on we were heading into town, a police motorcade with lights and sirens blaring passed in the other direction.  I was trying to figure out what was going on.  Then I noticed many of the cars in the procession had Marine Corp decals and decorative plates on them.  Then it hit me.......it was a motorcade to take the children to their Christmas lunch. Yes, of course I started to cry....I couldn't help it.

I was also lucky enough to have my friend, Mary, spend the weekend with us.  We stayed up late talking and were up early talking (see a running them here??).  We baked, we shopped and we laughed.....it was so much fun!!

I took her to see the alligators and the landfill...LOL....no reason not to see it all !!!!

While doing all this moving ahead....there is still a lot that pulls me back in time.

As I wrote last week, we did some baking.  This weekend we baked again using the old family cookie recipes.  Guess what we are doing next weekend?? You got it .......baking......(yes to my family...your cookies will be out in the mail a week from tomorrow).

My nephew completed his project of restoring the village my parents had under their Christmas tree starting back around 1955.  To see it looking brand new with all of its parts back in place was just wonderful.

I have been spending more time in my living room enjoying the lights on the tree, remembering when each ornament was purchased and wrap myself in memories of the wonderful holiday seasons past. Yesterday, I was up early and sat in my recliner in the living room covered in a blanket and enjoyed the tree lights just before dawn.......it is hard to find the words to describe how I felt sitting alone enjoying the beauty of the lighted tree.....

Just three short weeks to my favorite day of the year!!!

Jenn has asked a few times if there is anything I would like for Christmas and I guess like most of us as we get older the list of material wants shrinks and the list of desires grows (time with family, time to relax, time with friends and time for ourselves to do with whatever we wish......see the running theme here??....time). I am sure I will come up with a few gift ideas such as the 2018 Writers Guide (hint, hint Jenn).

But as I sit here and look at the lights from my tree in the living room and can very clearly see Jenn's 3 foot Griswold tree ( 9 feet of garland on a 3 foot tree??), a poinsettia blooming beautifully on a table......I feel a sense of peace.

Embracing the past, the present and the future.......that is what I am trying to do.......looking back at great memories and with a little sadness........enjoying the new experiences of the present which make me step out of my comfort zone........and looking to the future with hope, excitement  and may be just a little trepidation......no turning back now......backward is not the way I am heading......

See you next week.......

Another Birthday and Thanksgiving.....

The time from birthday to birthday seems to pass faster.

It seemed to me when I was young it took an eternity to get from one birthday to the next and now it passes like a New York minute.

The sounds of firecrackers going off is barely a faint memory as I find myself searching for a pumpkin to looking forward to the smells of a turkey in the oven to pulling out the cookie recipes stained with vanilla from holiday seasons past.

This is my favorite time of the year and yes I know I can be a little over the top when it comes to my love of Christmas.

It's not that I don't love the start of spring as the flowers bloom or the summer when I get a chance to sit and enjoy the ocean or seeing the fall colors during drives up to Lexington/Columbia or looking out at the bare trees while the fireplace is going......each of the seasons has it's own charm.

But the time between Halloween and the New Year is special to me.

Back to my birthday......

I received my first birthday gift a few weeks ago from my pal and office mate, Mary.  You will see a picture of it when I finish my outside decorating this week.

Next, my friend, Jenn, gave me a pillow with a lovely sentiment on it, a ornament for my tree that is a sailboat a references a journey and two bars of soap with great names and comments on them.

On Saturday, one of my oldest friends, Kathy, gave me an amazing shawl.  She knows I am a shawl freak. I have several of her creations is a variety of colors to match anything I wear and my many moods. My favorite sweater was also created by her. I will model in a picture soon.

I was on vacation this week....my first full week off in 2017 !! No long commutes to the office! Time to get the decorating done (at least inside).

I was lucky enough to spend part of the week (from Wednesday to Saturday) with my sister too !  We baked cookies, talked for hours and had birthday dinner with friends!  Not a bad way to spend a few days!

Jenn and I also continue the garage purge........I have no idea how we were able to fit all this "stuff" in our Columbia house?

There was abbreviated Black Friday shopping at midnight Friday morning.....we did more shopping online but felt a need to hit at least one store.  Jenn and I have continued to scour the ads looking for the best deals and we have found some great sales.

My house may be a little over the top with Christmas trees.....one in the entrance way.....one in the living room......a ceramic one that lights up in each  bedroom........one on the dining room table and two......yes, two on the porch.....grand total is 7 trees!! Oh wait, I forgot of about my kitchen.....I need to put one somewhere in there.......hhhhhmmmmm......well maybe I will just leave the kitchen as is with the Christmas table cloth, napkins and napkin rings and a Yankee Candle.......

Here are some of the photos.........

I will try to include outside and my village photos next week.

See you next week........

Changes continue as the year winds down......

During this past week, I went through the boxes of Christmas decorations (yes, Christmas decorations).  I am planning to decorate the week of Thanksgiving.

I used to have boxes and tubs of outside decorations.  Now one single tub contains all I have for the outside of the house.  I still have a large Santa and two wooden soldiers that will not make the cut to be displayed outside but I do not have the heart to pitch them either.  I will stand them up in the garage and that will be as close as they will get to the outside. The outside will be pretty simple....a wreath on the door, garland around the doorway, possibly  some garland around the one post outside and two wood reindeer with a flood light on them.

I have 8-9 tubs of inside decorations and that is after purging some. I also donated my old artificial tree to Goodwill. It was too tall and wide for my new living room.  I have purchased a smaller tree that will fit the corner of my living room better. The tree ONLY has 250 lights so I will be adding more.  It will be nice to have a tree where the lights are inside the stand and I wont have to hunt for the plugs to use the prelit option.

Today, I am sorting through 3 tubs (yes, part of the 8-9 tubs) to decide which ornaments will make it onto the tree.  There is no way this smaller tree can accommodate all the ornaments I have collected over the years. I wouldn't dare throw away the ornaments not used.....each has some kind of memory attached to it.

Instead of the gas fireplace we have had the last 18 years, I now have a wood burning fireplace.  Due to the time change we have had a fire a few evenings this week has been a treat.

In the last few weeks, we have blown past Halloween, adjusted to the time change, celebrated Jenn's birthday and now are just a week away from Thanksgiving. As I said a few months ago, once we hit Memorial Day the year is over.  Here we are just a little over a month from Christmas and 2018.

The morning trip to Columbia/Lexington has been somewhat easier since it is not being made in total darkness but the return trip is now the more challenging one.

Jenn's birthday was as much fun for me as it was for her.  There was a Jennifer Eve dinner and birthday breakfast, pedicures, hair cut and color, eye brows waxed, shopping.......actually more than a 24 hour celebration.

There is much to be thankful for as we celebrate next week. It is  also enough to make my head spin when I think of all that has happened in 2017.

Holiday events at work, home, with friends and hopefully seeing some family will make the final weeks of the year go by in a flash.

While Thanksgiving will be relatively simple (and successful as long as Jenn gets real mashed potato's), I still enjoy watching Macy's parade, having a fire in the fireplace and maybe vegging on some holiday movies.  Although not the full family gathering of the past, I will talk to all of my family members and be somewhat grateful that I will not have to attempt getting a variety of vegetable to the table hot  (a feat my mother accomplished so many years and I still don't know how she did it).

I will Black Friday shop on Black Friday NOT Thanksgiving (I think people should not have to work on Thanksgiving in order for the stores to make $$$$)....midnight works and it makes it more of an event.  In recent years, I have done more online shopping since the sales run all week vs just one day.

The decorating will be finished by the end of the month.

I have already planned which weekend to bake cookies in order for them to make it to their destinations in plenty of time (family members get your orders in).

I also have purchased tickets to see "It's A Wonderful Life" on the big screen the weekend before Christmas.

And before I know it ......it will be December 24th.......THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR.......(sorry the 25th is always a bit of a let down)...... and then 2018.

I had no idea as I watch the ball drop in Times Square ending 2016 what 2017 had in store for me so I will not even venture a guess what 2018 will bring!!

Time to get ready for the work week, time to divide up the ornaments and time to wind down the weekend......

See you next week ..........