Advice from Winnie the Pooh

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever."
Winnie the Pooh

How many people have passed through my life that are gone?

The obvious people are Mom and Dad.

This time of year my memories of them are strongest.

Sitting on the deck in the cool crisp fall evenings.

Each one of us wearing one of Dad's cardigan sweaters.  (Trying to find a new color cardigan for him each year became quite a challenge).

Some trees with leaves hanging on in an array of colors from gold to red.

Our backyard covered with the leaves that had given up the fight.

And a few that landed on the deck surrounding our feet.

The smell of some fireplaces burning in the air.

The aroma of hot coffee in the mugs we were each holding.

At times the chill in the air was enough you almost wanted to give up the fight and go inside.

But something kept us there.

I would even get a jacket to put on over the cardigan of Dad's I had chosen for the evening.

Sometimes, I felt warm enough wrapped in the sweater and jacket, I would put my head back on the chair and close my eyes.

I could feel myself drifting off to sleep.

Dad would say. "Why don't you go inside Don?"

I would respond. "I am fine."

I wanted to hear the conversation.

I wanted to feel the love.

I wanted to savor the moment like a photograph.

I had no idea those evenings were numbered.

Leaves blowing across an empty deck past the now vacant table.

Dad would no longer be there holding court and directing the conversation.

-"keep me in your heart and I will stay there forever"

Mom is her house dress in the kitchen.

Cooking up a storm and never measuring a damn thing. The smell of Christmas cookies filling the house or sauce.

Talking her into dragging a beach chair into the middle of my backyard.  Then turning on the sprinkler on a hot day while Jenn ran back and forth getting wet.  Mom and I laughing at how foolish we probably looked. At least we weren't hot any more.

Sewing the hems I could not (somehow you never saw her stitches).

Watching her be the wife I could never be.

Hearing her say "Oh Donna" when I would talk to her about some of the challenges in my life.

Looking at her aging hands, no longer smooth like when she held mine when I was young. (I now have those same hands).

Remembering the last time she squeezed my hand.  Then she said, "I can't believe you are going home tomorrow."

Seeing her waving goodbye in the rear view mirror as we drove away from her.

Never seeing her again.

-"keep me in your heart and I will stay there forever"

Removing paintings from a wall and seeing pencil marks to make sure it would be hung level.

Seeing a can of flavored coffee.  How many times did you see that coffee being made?

Having someone advise you on how to climb out of the hole you have created.

Being told numerous times "worry does no good".

Having "garage talks" when appropriate.  These were usually over serious issues.  I was party to at least one as an adult.

Hearing our kids being told, "Sever all ties at graduation

" and the kids knowing what that meant and laughing at us,

Taking for granted there would be more days, weeks, months and years.

-"keep me in your heart and I will stay there forever"

See you next week.

A Week of Small Blessings

My mentor, friend and creative editor, Cindy Whitman, wrote this week about looking for blessings in a FB post.

Blessings is the theme for the November Issue of Pink Magazine (you know the one with my first byline, Donna Raboni Pizzolongo).

I thought about the blessings I experienced each day that may go unnoticed.

One thing I did notice was most of mine have to do with others.

I need to do a better job of being the reason for other people in my life to be thankful.

Here are some of what I experienced this past week.

I was recognized by my Underwriters for Bosses Day with an amazing flower arrangement.

I remembered to re-order my eye liner.  I normally procrastinate until I run out.

We commuted back and forth to Columbia safely.

Jenn also painted the living rooms ceiling where we had stains from air conditioner leaks.  It looks amazing ! And thank you to her phone-a-friend consultant, Meg !!

Jenn was able to find my iPhone lists that had suddenly disappeared off my phone.

On a kind of crazy day, my person (as in Gray's Anatomy with Christina and Meredith), Mary, had me "dance it out" when things a little crazy.  Next thing I knew, Bruno Mars "Uptown Funk" was playing in our office as we danced.....well kind of danced.

My sister received the birthday present I sent her. What else could someone wish for but a case of Reinzi Clam Sauce??

Jenn caught that I had been charged to automatically renew a magazine that I didn't want to renew.  One phone call and the issue was resolved.

I came into the office one morning and found breakfast waiting for me on my desk.

I went out to lunch with Jenn and Kathy.  The name of the place we went to is called Fat Patties. The food was amazing! I had a turkey burger with caramelized onions, mushrooms and blue cheese. YUM! They also make a great Bloody Mary!!

This morning when I woke up, I once again felt blessed for the lovely view I can see from the recliner in my bedroom.

I woke up to the sound of the wind.  The temperature had dropped.

I had the sliders open most of the day to enjoy the fresh air.

Finally, I had to close them because I was getting cold.

What a southern weenie I have become.

See you next week.

So Who Am I ?

I finished my first interview and submitted it to the Pink Magazine Editor.  She made some revisions which were not major (yeah!). It was still my interview.  I learned from the edits which is always good.  It will help me when my next assignment comes up.

The next question I was asked was how did I want my byline to appear?

My byline?  My first byline?

I had to think about it quite a bit.

Who am I?

I was born Donna Marie Raboni.

The name Rita was added when I was confirmed.

I got married.

I became Donna Pizzolongo or Donna R Pizzolongo or Donna Raboni Pizzolongo.

The Rita part faded after Confirmation.

The Marie part fell by the wayside over 36 years ago.

Maybe if my middle name had been more meaningful, I would have used it more.

But Marie??

Donna Marie's came a dime a dozen in the Bronx in the 50's and 60's.

Donna was actually 5th on the list of most popular names in 1960.  Now, it is number 3,514 on the list and according to google is facing extinction.

About 20 years ago, a parent came up to me at Jenn's elementary school and asked me if I would meet her daughter.  I said "Sure, but why?'  She told me her daughter was named Donna and she had never met anyone else with her name.

From popular to extinction in 60 plus years.

Bottom line is, I like the name Donna and it is who I am.

Does that mean my daughter's name, Jennifer, will some day fade away along with the Kimberly's and Heather's of the 1980's-1990's??

The nice part is my daughter's middle name is unique.

It is Leimomi, my Mom's Hawaiian name.  When she was young she hated it.  As I predicted, now as an adult she likes her middle name.  She has grown into it.  It also reminds her of Nannie and the Hawaiian part of her heritage.

Although I have to agree, Jennifer Leimomi Pizzolongo is quite a name.  At her graduation  for her BA and Master's she did have to go to the table where unique names were written out phonetically.

Unlike my middle name, Marie, it doesn't really sound unique and catchy.  Plain and simple.

Would I have picked Donna as my name, probably not. I love the name Gianna and I would have thrown in a Hawaiian middle name.

When it came to whether to use just Raboni or Raboni Pizzolongo, I had to think about it for 24 hours.

I was Donna Raboni for 26 years.

I have been Donna Pizzolongo for 36 years.

Now that I am divorced, do I go back to Donna Raboni?

The answer was no, I am Donna Pizzolongo.  That is that is the name most people know me by.

Yesterday, I was at a Beach Shack Writers Workshop.  Picture being on Hilton Head Island, sitting outside on lovely porch with a great view, the smell of the ocean in the air and a slight breeze (just enough for me to throw a light jacket over my shoulders.

We did four writing prompt. One on advice to our younger selves, one about a tattoo, one about something we are good at and bad at and finally four truths and a lie.

During some breaks in our writing assignments, we talked about our work. I love hearing what others have written, I love sharing and talking about topics such as dialog.

We even talked about my struggle to figure out my  byline.

I finally emailed my editor, Donna Raboni Pizzolongo was my decision.

It works and it is me.

See you next week!

Another New Experience at the End of a Relaxing Weekend

This was one of those rare weekends that didn't have an endless checklist of things to do. 

Maybe having Monday off took some of the pressure off.

Friday night, we (Jenn, Mary and me) arrived home around 8:00.

After getting comfy quickly, it was time to get some snacks prepared for dinner.

Saturday was much of the same.

Talking, coffee, movies and eating. 

We all managed break time to take showers and get back into pj's.

We ordered take out food a local restaurant and played cards for a few hours.

Once again , we stayed up late talking and watching TV.

Slept in Sunday morning and then, you guessed it, coffee, talking and TV.

Mary headed back to Columbia early afternoon.

Then I had my new experience.

Earlier in the week, my Editor had asked me if I would do an interview with someone for the November issue of Pink Magazine.

After the interview, I would write it up and send it to her for review and revisions.

I met the lady I was interviewing at Starbucks. 

We talked for over an hour as I took notes I would need later.

I wanted to get it right.  I wanted to ask the right questions. I wanted to make sure to scribble down the important facts to be able and write up the interview.

I headed home and started to write.

I didn't want to let the emotions, thoughts or words start of fade.

This was also my first time using a person's actual words vs paraphrasing or working from memory.

Before I knew it, I was done.

I emailed what I had written off to my Editor.

Here are my firsts:
-first interview
-first article in print for a magazine
-first byline....YEAH !!
-first time I will be paid for something I have written.......WOO HOO !!

I hope this opens the door to other writing opportunities in addition to my blog and seeing my book through to completion.

A new experience.  Something I needed right now.

Writing is taken a bigger place in my life.  I can see a future surrounded with words.

Blogs, articles, books, the possibilities are endless. 

Ideas and facts all floating around in my head waiting to be put down on paper.

Maybe I will actually come to a time in my life, where I will have a use for that special pen I have been holding on to for a book signing!!

See you next week.

Time of the Seasons

I do love the fall.

The change in the colors of the leaves.

College football.

Sweater weather and a nip in the air (well that may be a bit off in SC).

Apple and pumpkin spice everything.

The desire to make soup.

It is hard for me to believe that I am putting away the summer tablecloths and decorations.

Time to put out the Halloween tablecloth that I have used for the last 25 - 30 years.  It is one of my favorites and obviously has held up to the test of time.

The plate rack will have Dracula, Frankenstein, a witch and a pumpkin.

The dining room table will have plates with fall leaves on them

The  clear glass pumpkin will takes its place in the center of the table.

The Halloween Dept. 56 buildings will be placed on the sofa table.

The orange and black wreath will hang on the door, near the Halloween banner.

The pumpkins and mums I will purchase tomorrow will be placed on the front porch.

I will be able to sit in the screened in porch and drink my coffee.  No ceiling fans required.

The only negative to this time of year, I hate that it gets dark early.

I leave for work in the dark and arrive home in the dark.

I miss the daylight.

I used to hate raking leaves. It is one of the chores I used to dread.

Not one of the autumn things I miss.

I guess that is the price we pay for the beauty of the change in seasons.

Each season has something to offer.

In the Spring, the flowers blooming, seeing people out of hibernation and days getting longer.

In the Summer, pools, picnics, baseball, barbecues, vacation and central air (especially here in the south).

In the Winter, the possibility of snow (we even had a snow event here last January), the smell of fireplaces and there is something beautiful about the stark bareness of the trees.

Each season has scents associated with them too.

Christmas trees, apple pie, burgers on the grill and spring rain provide our brains with a mental reminder of what time of year we are in.

As we head into the autumn of the year and the toward signing "Auld Lang Syne", we think of the year past.

The good, the bad, the happy and sad.

We have arrived at the time of year for pumpkins.

And yes, I will be watching Hallmark Christmas movies starting Oct. 26th,  Yes, I said October so get over it !!

Soon, we will be shopping for our turkeys and on the lookout for Black Friday ads.

We will barely step away from the Thanksgiving table to lighting the Christmas tree.

This year, I will be decorating the week of turkey day. since I will be on vacation that week. I promise not to light up the house until the bird has been devoured.

And that will be it for 2018, one of my most challenging years will come to an end.

Along with the tough times there have been some good moments.

I will put them all in the memory album of my mind.

I wrote a blog entry a while back that said once Memorial Day is over the rest of the year flies.

And I was right.

But in the circle of life this is how it goes, season to season, holiday to holiday, burgers to soups, baseball to football.

Each year from January to December goes quicker and quicker.

I just wish it would slow down just a little bit.

See you next week!

Trying to get a good night's sleep....

I love the few minutes before I fall asleep at night.

I have my covers wrapped around me.

As I relax and drift off to sleep.

A few years ago, I chose to no longer share my bed. I started sleeping in my recliner. It made sense to me at the time.  I didn't realize that it would be a challenge a few years later to go back to sleeping in bed.

I used to love sleeping on my side.  Now my hips and knees hurt.  I sleep on my back or stomach.

But I am still not up to a full night in bed. It is frustrating.

I will wake up during the night get out of the recliner and climb into bed.

Then I toss and turn.

When I stay at my friend Mary's house each week, I choose to sleep on the couch.

And I sleep pretty great.

I do wake up every now and then but usually fall back to sleep pretty quickly.

Now, I have to figure out how to lay in my bed like I do on the couch.

Maybe I need to use my body pillow like the back of the couch so I don't try to sleep on my side.

Then I have to situate my pillows like the arm on the couch with a throw pillow on it.

You would think this would be an easy task but it's not.

Maybe instead of the nightshirt I wear at home, I need to sleep in shorts and a t shirt.  It is easier to move in the latter but more comfy in the former.

I shouldn't have to think this much about sleeping in my nice comfy bed.

I never thought when I gave up  sleeping in my bed that it would be forever.

If I had known I wouldn't have given it up so easily.

It was one of those rash decisions that I am paying for now.

Due to this sleeping issue, it makes traveling and overnights a challenge.  Unless there is a recliner nearby.  If there is no recliner around, I climb into bed.

Then I stress about not being able to sleep. (I know the stress part surprises you!)

The saying goes"it takes 30 days to make something a habit" .

Unfortunately, breaking a habit isn't quiet as easy.

I feel confident that eventually, I will be back in my bed every night all night.

Hopefully, sooner than later.

Such a simple thing that we all take for granted.

I just have to stop thinking about it.

I just have to not obsess about it.

I also need my sleep.  If I toss and turn that doesn't work either.

I will keep trying.

I am sure one night not too far off, I will drift off to sleep and wake in the morning feeling well rested, in my bed.

"To sleep per chance to dream", maybe Shakespeare had trouble sleeping in bed too??

I am starting to feel tired.

Maybe, I will give it a shot?

See you next week!

(The bitmoji below seems more appropriate now that you know where I spend part of my sleeping hours.)

Not the week I planned on........

Last Sunday, I had my week all set.

Monday, a day off.  Jenn and I going to our friend, Mary's house.

It was her birthday.  We were going to hang out and watch movies. We were spending the night.

The rest of the week BAU. Work.

The day went as planned through our first movie.

Then a news bulletin. 

The governor ordered the mandatory evacuation of all the coastline counties due to impending Hurricane Florence.

Jenn and I headed back to our place. 

Now remember we had already driven 150 miles to Mary's.

Another 150 miles back to the house.

We arrived home at 6:30. 

We then had what I think of as a three hour fire drill.

This involves walking around the house and taking down what needed to go with us.

Important papers, med's, cash, checkbooks, credit cards, jewelry and items that cannot be replaced. 

YES, there are items that cannot be replaced!!

I know, I know, people cannot be replaced but neither can the painting of Dad's courthouse, Mom's Christmas Angels, the wind chimes with Mom's ashes and the only ornament I still have from Mom and Dad's Christmas Tree.

(the courthouse painting and Christmas angels)

We close blinds, unplug things, move things away from the windows and mark off on the list the things we need to do to secure the house.

By 9:30, we are back on the road.

Already tired. 

Another 150 miles to go.

Traffic is heavy as if it is the rush hour.  Most likely, drivers like us trying to get a rush on the lane reversals that were starting Tuesday morning.

We finish our 450 miles of driving at 12:45 AM.

We bring in the essentials. 

I fall asleep quickly. 

Next thing I know, it is after 7:00 AM.

The rest of the week, we stay at Mary's. 

I watch the weather reports and try not to let it consume me.  I am not successful at that part of my thought process.

The governor lifts the evacuation for Beaufort County on Wednesday.

Now, I try to decide what to do.

It makes sense to stay the rest of the week since the lane reversals are still in effect.

Friday night, the wind starts to pick up in Lexington.  The good news is the lanes are now back to their normal patterns.

The weather reports for Lexington/Columbia are not so great.

Jenn loads up the cars and we are on the road by 9:30.  A quick stop to pick up Jeter and off we go in our two car caravan.

We drive in some rain and wind.

The whole trip I see less than five tractor trailers which in itself is amazing.  One of my concerns was driving next to tractor trailers in high winds.

We pull back in our driveway around 1:30.

HOME!!!!

Everything looks fine.

The unpacking and putting things back in place begins. 

At some point, I sat down in the recliner.  I wake up an hour later.

Today, we are continuing to get back to normal. 

It was a nerve wracking week to say the least.

We had a hurricane impact our area last year too and there was one the year before we moved here.

And for 50 out of 52 weeks the year, it has been so worth it (we had a snow/ice event in January and the hurricane now).

It is the price I pay for living where I do.

See you next week!

PS Thank you Mary Mefford !! Once again the Mefford Inn provided wonderful accommodations and made us feel at home.