Finding something to write about.....

 I was told more than once when I have nothing to write about WRITE and see what happens.

So here I sit with not one thing in my head to make the topic for this week.

I have the Lady Gamecock game on in the background.  Listening to the squeaking of their shoes on the wood floor.

From my kitchen window, I can see the azaleas blooming.

Yesterday as I ran errands, I could see leaves starting to sprout on the trees.

Spring.

The renewal of life that is part of the yearly and life cycle.

After being home for the last year, I have really missed making choices.

Do I go out? Do I head to the pool? Do we invite people for a visit? Do I? Do I? Do I?

The answer for the last year has been NO.

Now, it feels like we might be turning the corner.

I read one of my FB memories from last year that I was happy because I found a London Broil at the supermarket.

Maybe the last twelve months was a lesson. A lesson about freedom, choices and learning to appreciate life as we lived it....before.

In some ways,  it reminds me of life after 9/11.  Our lives never went totally back to the way they were prior to that date.

I don’t think life will ever be as easy as pre-COVID.

Yes, toilet paper is back on the shelves and cleaning supplies are easier to find.

People have the choice to schedule the vaccine. I will be getting my first dose this week, after trying for weeks to get it scheduled.

As life starts to open up what will have changed?

I don’t think I would go to a movie theatre again. Or if I was in New York, to a Broadway show (I am not willing to be so close to people in tight quarters).

Dining in a restaurant, probably not.

Traveling through airports, no, but then again I have panic attacks in crowds. Meaning an airport would be at the bottom of my list of places to travel through even if the last year hadn’t happened.

I see many people I know going out maskless in crowds as if the last year didn’t happen.  Their choice, their freedom just not for me.

Knowing I will never return to the office I left last year, my friend and I were saying the office must look like something out of the Twilight Zone. Year old calendars with pages left unturned, pens and papers left askew on the desks we assumed we would return to the next Monday.

I have spent a lot more time on the phone staying connected with people.

I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss people. I miss hugs (yes, I do LOL).

I now appreciate the new normalcies of life such as driving to pick up the Instacart groceries.

I want to be able to just sit outdoors and wave to my neighbors but the pollen count is high and by the time that time of year has moved on the heat will start to kick in,

Yesterday, I saw pictures of my brother coloring Easter eggs with his grandchildren.  Meanwhile, one of my cousins across the country was enjoying some last ski runs for the year.

The cycle of the year and of life.

I do believe we are close to turning the corner on the year that was.

Those who lost their lives in there last year will leave holes in the makeup of many families.

We will talk about the last year, what we gained and what we lost and what has changed for a long time. 

It reminds me of hearing my Dad talk about what it was like to live through the Depression or a World War.

My quote this week comes from Grey’s Anatomy.

“We owe it to the people we lost to live the lives they can’t.” Dr. Maggie Pierce

I am going to try and do my best to do exactly that and see how it goes.

Meanwhile, my dog, Jeter, continues to show his stress levels each day:

Oh and in case you are wondering, the Lady Gamecocks just won and are moving on to the Elite Eight !

See you next week.

366 days and what I have learned

Another good Winnie the Pooh quote, “It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine.”

 Like most of you, I cannot believe I have not stepped in my “real”  office in over a year.

366 days to be exact.

Initially, I thought I would be home for two weeks, then a month, then six months and now here I am a year later.

Through all the seasons and holidays, I have been home.

365 days of sleeping in my own bed vs a few nights a week at a good friends house.

I have learned how to separate my off hours from my work hours even at home.

Not once in the last year have I worked in my pj’s.

I have “work” clothes.  

I have a routine, out of bed and into the shower, brush my teeth and hair, take my med’s and get dressed for “the office.”

Jeter and I walk to the kitchen/office, where my monitors and laptop sit waiting. 

I flip on the light and the office is up and running.

The days are longer at my kitchen table but the commute and hours in the car are none existent.

Shortly after my day starts, the barista arrives and provides me with my morning cup of Joe.

I keep music or news on in the background as white noise.

I can see my neighbors walking by or riding their bikes by or see a passing golf cart.

There have been many days when it is dark when I start working and it dark once again when I close the office for the day.

When I want a change in scene, I grab my laptop and work in the living room from my recliner.

In the last 366 days, so much has changed.

Remote work is no longer unusual.

Masks are no longer unusual.

I miss people more than I thought I would.

I miss maybe one day a week in the office for socialization.

I love instacart, curbside pickup, virtual appointments, online shopping and on alternating days the UPS man or the FedEx man.

I have saved money on gas and wear and tear on my car but my grocery bill has gone up.

The world now allows for drive up blood work and vaccinations (when you can get them).

I went out two days in a row this week which was a big event.  It did feel good but a little intimidating.

Going for a long overdue eye exam became an event as you observe all the rules.

Running out of virtual dr visits and finally having to schedule a real appointment was something to deal with.  

I was able to get a new job during this crazy time. Phone interviews and a job offer, it was a huge God Wink.

I have traveled this year, virtually. I have been to the Smithsonian, Buckingham Palace, MOMA and Italy.

While the world is slowly starting to open up, I am moving even slower.

My comfort level is very, very wary and cautious. 

Plus I have still not been able to get the vaccine.

I am not sure I will ever be the Donna I was on March 12, 2020.

As my world got smaller, I accepted it.  It was easier to shut down than to open up.

For me to celebrate going out two days in a row shows how much I have changed.

Leaving the house without a mask? No way.

Gatherings with no social distancing? Nope.

And we are 10 weeks to Memorial Day which for me means the year is over.  

The months that follow just fly.

Look how fast the last 12 months went.

In case I don’t get to see you and chances are I won’t, Happy Easter, Happy Mother’s Day, Happy Memorial Day, Happy Father’s Day, Happy July 4th, Happy Labor Day, Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas.

There now I can say I covered it all.

See you next week.

  

 

My how the world has changed

80 years ago, 18 and 19 year olds went off to war and saved the world. So many lives lost but they served anyway with pride.

These young people weren’t looking for freebies. They were brave and selfless.

I may not agree with Tom Brokow on a lot of things but he was right when he called them “the greatest generation”.

I grew up in the generation when we had “air raid drills”.  Small children sitting under their desks with our hands covering our heads.

Fallout shelters signs on the sides of apartment buildings were common place.

During the Gemini and Apollo space missions, classes stopped while we watched the take offs and splashdowns.

Math was done in a way that made sense.  Cursive was required not optional.

And we were held responsible for our actions.  The worst thing that could happen was have your parents called to school for some issue.

I remember waiting up on Parent/Teacher conference night to see what my teacher had said to Mom and Dad about me.

I now live in a world where in the last few weeks,  we could see a landing on Mars of a vehicle that sent pictures back to Earth, Disney is adding a warning message to the Muppets and Hasbro has changed a toy brand from Mr. Potato Head to Potato Head.

How can we have the skills, talent and ability to send something to Mars but feel the need to change the name of a toy brand?

I feel like the whole world has turned upside down.  I really work hard to keep my mouth shut and I try not to offend people who believe differently than I do. I try to maintain relationships with people of all kinds of views  

The sensitivity has reached a new level when I have had “FB Friends” unfriend me for my daily FB post countdown.  Those who know me well know what it is about or have asked for an explanation. But if we have reached a point in which a set of three and four digits with no additional comment is cause for offense, I am not sure how far these kind of actions will continue.

We can all make a list of things we would like to see cancelled. But to what good?

We can choose to watch or buy or listen to what we want or opt not to.

I think we need to tread down this “cancel culture” road carefully.  

Just my opinion.

See you next week.

Another Valentines Day

From the wisdom of Winnie the Pooh:

“Pooh, how do you spell love?” 

“You don’t spell love, Piglet you feel it.”

When I was young, I always pictured Valentine’s Day as a day when someone special would get me roses and take me out all dressed up to a romantic dinner.

I never really had that kind of Valentine’s Day. 

I guess I had a great imagination.

I grew up in an era before phrases such as “soul mate” and “date night” existed .

Even though I missed the boat on the things above, I still know love.

Love for Jenn, family, friends even pets.

Love of any of those listed above adds to our lives.

Not having had the great love story in my life doesn’t mean I made the wrong choice at the fork in the road.

It just means my journey has taken a different route.

I can still feel love and joy and happiness.

And yes, maybe a tiny bit of envy for those who found it all.

I don’t think there are as many of those as I always imagine but then again I have been wrong before.

And for those of you who did get it all, bravo !!

And for those like me who didn’t, it’s OK too.

Happy Valentines Day!

See you next week.

God Winks Exist

 Definition of a God Wink:

(plural God winks) An event or personal experience, often identified as coincidence, so astonishing that it is seen as a sign of divine intervention, especially when perceived as the answer to a prayer.

I first heard of God Winks on of all places and no surprise to anyone, The Hallmark Channel.

How often do God Winks play a role in our lives?

Events in my life surely were God Winks.

Whether it be a person who says hello to you when you are 15 and ultimately over 45 years changes your life.

Or the friend that in the early days used a phone book to help you find answers to questions. And now still helps you find answers using the internet.

How about the person you meet at work who opens their home to you and you walk together through some of the most difficult times in your life.

It can be something as simple as looking for a new car.  You mention it on a conference call and suddenly you have a negotiator for the transaction.

Your start a new job in a new state.  Day One you are paired with someone for training and you become fast friends whose lives are intertwined.

Two weeks ago, it happened again.

God winked.

I did a Facebook post. 

And that put the wheels in motion.

A FB message from an old friend and former coworker in response to the post.

And in what I consider a less than two week world wind event, I end up with a new job.

An updated resume, an online application, three interviews and a job offer within just a few days.

My head was spinning.

I was not planning on changing jobs.

But God winked.

In just two weeks, starting a job again and as I keep saying “for the last time”.

I am excited and ready for the change.

The one thing important about God Winks is,  if he winks you have to act.  

If you hesitate, you might miss the opportunity.

God is winking at you, not hitting you over the head.

Take the chance, live on the edge and trust.

Trust you gut, trust yourself and trust in God’s plans for you.

God winks have names too.

Dan, Kathy, Mary, DeAnna and Diana.

Family members are not by chance, They are chosen for us.

Family and old friends not named individually in this post also an important part of my life.

I am also lucky enough to have coworkers who have become extended family.

They are all God’s blessings: family, friends and coworkers.

And of course, then there is Jenn. 

She has had a couple of challenging months health wise. Seeing her perking up after her recent heart procedure shows me God’s answer to prayers.

Jenn is God’s way of showing a part of me will always be around.

Amen.

See you next week.

Six weeks to go

 Tomorrow is February 1st.

WOW.

On March 13, 2020, I walked out of my office for the last time.

Just six more weeks until it has been a year.

The changes in each of our lives are almost too many to comprehend.

Virtual doctor visits.

Holidays without family or friends.

Curbside pickup is now a common phrase.

Zoom is no longer just a sound made by a fast moving car.

School, should the kids be in the classroom or not?

Like many others, Jenn had a surgical procedure without family waiting in the waiting room. I dropped her off at 6:00AM and picked her up at the end of the day. In our new world, I received phone calls before, during and after the procedure was complete.

Food shop online, drive to the store and get it loaded in your car.  Or have it brought to your house and left at your door.

More TV shows were watched since it was one of the few safe entertainment options.

Seeing people wearing masks and not giving it a thought.

Seeing people not wearing masks and giving it a lot of thought.

Vaccines, COVID tests and blood work samples all being done in parking lots.

Businesses have learned that people can work remote and actually can be more productive.

I have had the luxury of sleeping in my bed each night.  The first few years here, I had to sleep two nights a week (sometimes three) at the Mefford Inn.  I was super lucky to have a friend willing to tolerate Jenn and my overnight visits each week. 

I miss our “family” dinners, rides to work together and ongoing conversations.

Only staycations for the last year.

Not one trip to the pool where I live.

I miss my family, I miss my friends and I miss my coworkers.

I do not miss the commute or the hours in the car or endless miles to and from work.

Online shopping has become more popular.  I think the Amazon delivery person knows us by name.

I can order everything from clothes to clam sauce to black and white cookies (from Brooklyn) to a new phone all online.

But I have seen beautiful sunrises and sunsets.

I am lucky that Mary and I will call each other and use video to see each other. We will stay on our call while we work. Not constant conversation, just like when we shared an office.

I miss the “pot lucks” at work.

I miss my team making my morning coffee and ice run.

Knowing so many of those things are part of the past and will not happen again makes me sad.

When will we go back to pack up our offices?

Never in a million years did I think I would work at home for good, not go out to dinner or socialize with friends for a year.

I may be more concerned or cautious than others.

I feel more secure in my home.

I now think of our weekly running errands as “ going out”. A cut and color every eight weeks is a major event. A pedicure every four weeks is living on the edge.

I am allowing my world to get smaller to stay safer.

I miss my life in 2019 for a variety of reasons. 

In 2019, I viewed the world as safe.

Not any more.

And we won’t even touch on politics and all the unfriending and unfollowing I have experienced due to my daily countdown.  

Another topic for another week.

If I dare.

See you next week.

OK I Lied

I could write about the craziness in the world.

I could spew out ugly thoughts and opinions which could make me appear to live up to the ugly names I have gotten used to being called.

I could talk about what unites us versus divides us.

But to what good?

Will I change my thoughts, feelings and opinions? 

No.

Will I be able to change anyone else’s opinions?

No.

Instead, I have decided to admit I lied to all of you.

Yes, I lied,

Last week, I wrote something that was not true.

I wrote about how bare the house was without the Christmas decorations.

In all honesty, I did not remove Christmas from my house.

I put away the big tree.

I put away the extra decorations.

I could not let it go away completely.

I know I drive you all crazy with my love of all things Christmas.

I watch Christmas movies all year,

I start planning for the next December 25th on December 26th.

I cannot help myself.

There is something so perfect to me about the Christmas Season.

Maybe it is my way of denying all the things going on with which I do not agree or which cause me pain.

If it gives me joy and doesn’t hurt any one else then why not keep Christmas going?

If the glow of the lights soothes me then why not?

If it gives me pause to not think about events taking place last week or the week before or this coming week then why not?

Am I hurting anyone?

Am I speaking out loud about my fears for what is transpiring?

I am doing none of those things.

I am finding my happiness where I can.

Ebenezer Scrooge vowed to keep Christmas the whole year through and to celebrate all 365 days.

That is what I am choosing to do.

Otherwise, I fear the sadness I feel will consume me.

So while the big tree is gone, I still have a tree of some kind up in each room.

I know it sounds crazy to most of you but it gives me peace and comfort and joy.

And that’s what I need right now.

Here are the trees and their locations:

On a counter in the kitchen,

On a small cabinet in my bedroom.

In the front hallway of my house.  I change it for each month of the year.

The small tree in my living room decorated with 12 months of Charlie Brown and Peanuts ornaments.

My sea glass tree is also out in my living room.

The beach themed tree on my enclosed porch.

And then there are the two Christmas Angels, my Mom made them for me 10 years ago on her last visit to me.  I keep them on my mantle all year round.

May these angels not only watch over me but all of you too as we move ahead in this ever changing life the likes of which we have never seen before and I hope will eventually will fade into our memories.

See you next week.