Public Speaking 101 and the Elusive 50......

Today was my day to talk in front of my Weight Watcher class.  I had thought about what I was going to say during the week......

And then suddenly it was Sunday morning.  There are some in my family that are great at speaking extemporaneously.....I am not in that group.  The first two ladies spoke, one had notes on paper and drew a chart on the board, the other had notes in a notebook and her wedding album.  I showed up with notes on the back of a old check book register. I also brought along a book of pictures from my family reunion 2 years ago so people could really see the difference.

I started out by admitting to the group that I could not blame my weight issues on baby weight since my baby was 30 years old. I told them how my well meaning Mom had given a very good friend a note telling him to suggest I go for gastric bypass surgery.  The conversation he had with me on that topic was uncomfortable and painful.  I can't believe I am crying as I write this......and that event took place in 2003. Besides the pain, I was so terribly embarrassed that someone I had known at that time for 30 years was stuck discussing my weight with me.  I have had other family members have "the talk" with me.  I have also been called some very ugly names.

As I told the group this morning, none of that got me to focus on me.  I am now 60 pounds lighter (not sure if lighter is the right word) then I was on the day of that lousy conversation. I talked about how many times I had been a WW member as our leader nodded her head.  She has seen me like a yo yo join and quit and join and quit. Even she has said to me more than once since I have been back at WW "Donna, this is your time!!"

I continued on to tell them about the book I am writing tentatively called "The List".  I told them how I was trying new things such as  getting a third hole in my ears and wanting to get a tattoo (I haven't done it yet).  And then I told them how all of a sudden it was the right time for me....yes for me not for anyone else. I talked about how hard it is to have to think about food all the time to be successful.  I showed them my picture from the family reunion and said I was NEVER going back to being that person.  One of the ladies said, "You do have a neck now." referencing one of my blog entries from a few weeks ago. I know I went on for a few minutes some was laughter and some was painful and embarrassing but I said it all.

I told the group the best thing I have found recently (besides clothes getting very loose) is I have gotten my laugh back.  I find I laugh an awful lot and it feels good to just be silly or have something funny happen and not be able to contain the laughter or to laugh until I cry....happy tears.

I was glad I took the opportunity to speak since that was one of my goals on my list.  Given the opportunity I will not pass up speaking before a group at work or anywhere else. (NOTE to my boss......please be kind to me when you find the right speaking engagement for me...LOL)

The ladies in my class are doing the Heart and Sole 3 or 5 mile walk or race.  I thought about it long and hard and decided I was not going to stress out over it.  I told them I would do 5 miles of jogging in the pool. I even said I would have my daughter take a picture of me in the pool.....hey what is there to worry about most of me will be covered by the water.  They thought that was a great idea.  They told me I need to do it the day before their race so I can see them at the starting line and when they finish and be in the group photo.  How wonderful and supportive is that?.... from a great group of ladies!!!!! Oh and not to leave out the men.....LOL.....one of the men in my class offered to go get a tattoo with me.....we will have to see on that one....stay tuned.

Lastly, as you can tell from the title of this entry I did not hit the big 5-0 this week.  I am so very close and once again hope that next week will be my time.  But the bottom line is I will hit it damn it!!! I am still shooting to be down 75 pounds by my family reunion in July.  If I make it  great....if I don't it doesn't mean I am a failure....it just means it might take a little longer.

I told them in the meeting this morning I will not hit my goal this year (it is just too big a number to get to in 2015) but I will hit it next year!!

So the morning had it's laughs and tears and nervous moments and commitment to succeed.......a full range of emotions that I am feeling as I lose weight and find me......

See you next week.....