‘Twas the week before Christmas

Well, here we are just a week until my favorite day of the year.

The tree is up and the inside and the outside of the house are all decorated.

The Christmas cards have been sent.

The cookies have been baked, shipped and delivered.

The only cookies left to bake is a batch of chocolate chips and pinwheels for us to enjoy.

Most of the shopping is done.

Any presents that have come into the house have been wrapped.

The food for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will be purchased Thursday.

All the snack foods and anything else we want to eat will have been prepped so we will spend minimal time in the kitchen on the 24th and 25th.

My usual goal is when I go to bed on December 23rd everything is done.

I want to wake up on the 24th with nothing to do but enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.

I know people love Christmas Day but to me Christmas Eve is so much better.

The anticipation of the next day adds to the excitement.

Jenn and I also always save three gifts for Christmas night to end the day on a nice note.

We also exchange one gift on January 6th (little Christmas).

I also start a week’s vacation at 5:00 PM on the 23rd. I am so ready!

There will be a lot of hustle and bustle this week but the reward at the end of it is 48 hours of pure joy and relaxation.

We will binge watch our favorite Christmas movies.

And enjoy our once a year ritual……eating potato chips.

We do not eat potato chips all year.  Only from Christmas Eve until New Year’s Day and then they are gone again for another 51 weeks.

If the weatherman is correct, it will be in the 20’s or 30’s over Christmas weekend which is at it should be.

My Dad loved Christmas like no one else I know.

At Christmas all bets were off and insanity ensued.

He would start Christmas Eve,  by making a trip to Zabar’s for some delicacies for Christmas Eve.

Once home from there, he took over the kitchen and cooked the Christmas Eve dinner.

We did not have the traditional Italian 7 kinds of fish dinner.  We had his variation which included, shrimp, lobster, clams, squid and some other options.  Those allergic to seafood had steaks.  The meal would commence round 6 PM and would go on for hours. One year we were so full we had to finish Christmas Eve dinner on Christmas Day.

One year Mom made goose as dad requested.  Most years it was a Crown Roast.

Mom had worked for a long time on all the cookies that filled the trays in the kitchen. Many years, trays were sent to our teachers as gifts.

Dad was the person who dragged a sled through the backyard and left footprints and hoof prints in the snow to prove Santa had landed right in our backyard.

Dad was the person who bought his sons $48 set of three Tonka trucks (hook and ladder, pumper truck and an ambulance) when he only made $28 a week at the post office.

Dad was the one who wrapped up boxes with pineapples inside to tell my sister and I we were going to Hawaii.

Dad would start Christmas Eve day by lighting the fireplace and it would burn until we all went to bed Christmas night.

Back in those days, there was one radio station that would play continuous Christmas music for the 48 hours of the 24th and 25th.  Dad kept that station on most of those days.

Mom pretty much was responsible for writing out the Christmas cards and the cookie baking.

Dad would go up in the attic and wrap gifts.

If he was whispering to Mom about something and you asked  what it was about, he would respond “Secret Doozins”  translation “secret doings”.

I absolutely inherited my Dad’s love of Christmas (as many of you know LOL). No secret there!

I hope this weeks goes slow as part of making it so special is the anticipation.

To me the saddest day of the year is December 26th, when I start my countdown again.

In case I don’t write an entry next week, Merry Christmas to All !!

See you next week…..maybe.

PS  one last thing….Die Hard is a Christmas movie!

The experiment of choosing joy

 Let’s see if I can really accomplish my goal.

From the time I woke up this morning until I go to sleep tonight, I am going to try and choose joy.

I have noticed that especially during the week, I can get wrapped up in world affairs and go down that rabbit hole of sharing my thoughts and venting.

But maybe today just for my waking hours, I will really make an effort of not going there.

For example, I did the NYT Wordle and my other Wordle game on my phone early today.  I got both words on the second try.  Score !!

I am looking forward to my bagel with whipped cream cheese and tomato for breakfast.

Oh and my coffee with pumpkin spice creamer too!

I will be keeping an eye on the football scores to see how well I do in the football pool this week.  Last week, Jenn and I tied for first place! How we did it?  LOL I have no idea !

I am going to try and find things to watch on TV that make me laugh.

I am going to take a nice hot shower.

I am going to start looking for ideas for Christmas gifts and decorations (no, I am not putting them up yet).

I am going to look in my cookbooks for some new soup recipes for the fall.  I love soup!

I am awaiting the arrival of the book “Making Your Home A Haven” for an online Bible Study with some of my sister’s friends.

I am happy that we have had a mild hurricane season (so far).

It makes me feel good that last night I chose to eat grapes for dessert.

All small things but each does make my heart and head happy.

And none of them cost a lot which is another plus.

I wanted to challenge myself to try and not complain or be negative or judge-mental. What good does that do anyone?

I also finally felt I had something worth writing about that you wouldn’t mind reading.

Sometimes I write to stay disciplined,  as it can be easy to let one week, then two weeks and on fly by and not have written a word.

Today, I felt I at least had something to write and share that was  worthy of a few minutes of your time.

I know I will not be perfect as I try and stay on the positive road for at least today but I need to try.  I have found myself too easily saying negative things when they really weren’t necessary.

I can find joy in seeing pictures of family and friends grandchildren.

I can find joy in looking at friends vacation photos.

I can find joy in laughing at something that tickles my funny bones.

I can celebrate remembering what time it is when I just looked at my watch 30 seconds ago,

If I am successful today, maybe I will try again tomorrow.

I can’t promise I will stop my daily venting about world affairs.  I never said I was perfect.

But maybe just maybe, I will be able to tolerate the fact that I feel like the world has been turned upside down and every rule I have tried to live by has been thrown out the window.

But for this day, this hour, this minute, this second, I will look out the window at the sunshine which has started to break through and not complain about the heat.  

I will think back and smile at being woken up during the night to the sounds of a rain storm that went on for quite a while.  It was a lovely sound.

Looking ahead, tomorrow I will wake up with a list of things to do for work.  I will count myself lucky to have a job that I enjoy as much as I do.

See, it’s working already.

I am already joyful about something tomorrow.

Let’s see if I can catch myself before I go to the dark/negative side and instead turn it into something positive.

I have already made it through three hours, only 12-13 more hours to get though.  

It might be a tall order but it’d worth try.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Until then, seek joy.

See you next week!

Dreams mixed with a little silliness

“Somewhere over the rainbow way up high there is a land I heard of once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”

Sung by Dorothy Gale (Judy Garland) Words and music by Harburg and Arland

It was the normal crazy week in the mortgage business. The dreaded words “Month End”. In addition, I am in the middle of test cases to obtain my credit authority.Yes, test cases.  I am earning Social Security and still taking test cases.  Fortunately, I only have to do 10 tests cases and I am getting ready to submit my fifth test case.  I have already successfully completed four.  I had to take the test cases since I left TD for a while and lending/credit authority isn’t grandfathered in.  When I first started at TD in 2011, I had to complete 25 successful test cases so 10 isn’t awful.  I am trying to squeeze them in during my normal work day.

In addition, my manger asked me to participate on a conference call since he was off the day of the call.  My response “sure”.

I accepted the meeting invite and moved on with my workday. 

The next day, I received the reminder it was meeting time. I hit the “join the meeting” notification.  As I looked at the page, I saw the words PRE-WORK.  PRE-WORK???? I do not do any pre-work. Oh boy. 

The meeting begins and I realize that the seven other individuals on the call are all directing their questions only at me! There are flow charts with so much info on each page.  I hate flow charts with their” if then, or, and, arrows, triangles and squares”.  I am using my laptop so I have to keep asking them to enlarge the chart.  About 15 minutes into the call I ask if it is too early to drink.  By the time the call ends, I am told they will send me more flow charts to review.  I ask if anyone has any aspirin?

Now it is time to get back to my test case.  I have totally lost my train of thought and file flow.  I have to start all over agin.

More importantly, I have to make sure Jennifer has gotten our Mega Million tickets. 

Hey, I can dream can’t i?

Soon the day is over thank goodness.

I am usually on the serious side.  Out of my siblings, I think I am the most serious.

Every now and then I get a case of the sillies.  My humor leans toward the sarcastic side.  Once you get to know me you get it.

Once the Mega Million numbers were drawn, we checked our numbers.

We had one number and Mega Bonus ball.

I looked it up and I have won $4.  Yes, $4.

For some reason, I found this incredibly funny.

I posted on FB, I would not be accepting calls today since I would be meeting with my accountant so he could advise me on how to invest my winnings. I was cracking myself up.

This morning I posted on FB that I had met with my CPA and he had advised me to take the lump sum distribution vs the 20 year payout.

I have decided to live on the edge and am throwing caution to the wind. I am taking the whole $4 and buying more lottery tickets! 

There is enough bad news going on in the world so why not some silliness to lighten things up a little.

And since I don’t get silly often except when I have had a few cocktails and then I think I am hilarious.

From the reactions I received on FB people thought my entries were pretty funny too.

Who can’t do with a little more laughter?

At least at the end of a stressful week, I found something to chuckle about.

Maybe,  I can roll my $4 in winning into $10 and from there $25.  The sky is the limit.

I can dream can’t I? And maybe laugh a little along the way.

See you next week.

PS something new I leaned this week. I don’t need to put two spaces after the period in a sentence on a computer.  This was only done in typewriter days.  Who knew?  Or am I just gullible and this is not true?

Sometimes it is about the Small Stuff

 I don’t think I am alone in putting up with little annoyances versus taking care of them. 

Then finally you have had enough.

My toilet had been running for days, well weeks ok being honest months.

It didn’t run all the time. 

It was a simple flush, lift the cover off the tank, push down the little rubber stopper and the water would stop running.  Then I would stand and wait to make sure the tank had filled up.

It’s crazy what we will ignore vs fixing.

The other night on one of my 3:00AM trips to the potty, I lifted the top of the tank and thought to myself, “This is crazy, I need to get this fixed.”

Yesterday, I called the local plumber who installed the new hot water heater last year. He was here in 45 minutes.  He then left to get the parts needed and was back in no time.  Within another 45 minutes, it was done.

For $138 including parts and labor, I can now flush and not wait.  

Small luxury.

Getting that issue resolved has gotten me thinking about the other “small” repairs that need to be done.

That also led me to a kind of wish list of projects to make my life a little easier or less annoying.

Time to get the sink in the bathroom that drains slowly taken care of.

Time to get the half of the kitchen ceiling light that is not working repaired.

My Bed frame is old.  It is supported by wood, plastic and some metal on the sides and wooden slats across the bottom of the box spring and mattress.  My dream is next bonus time is to get one of those beds where the head and feet can move up and down.  Then the frame won’t be as important but I still want it to be fixed. I am sure a handyman can somehow bend the frame and reattach the frame on the one side that is bent and broken.

See what I mean about putting up with things that can be fixed?

How about getting the handyman to replace the one, yes I said one missing bolt from the drop down stairs to the attic.  One bolt and I have put it off 5 years.  Instead each time someone climbs into the attic I say, “watch the steps there is a bolt missing.”

I have large mirrors in both bathrooms.  As happens with most older mirrors the parts around the edges are losing their mirror look.  A handyman could make a frame around the mirrors and cover the fading parts and painted the right color they would look pretty.

How wonderful would it be to have shelves on the wall of my garage.  I could store boxes and bins on them vs having them sit on the floor.  It might make more space.  Or even get some of those metal shelf units and have them attached to the walls so they don’t fall over.

I could also put some of the items stored within the house in the garage.  Some light things could go in the attic.  I have plenty of space up there but would need to decide what could be put up there that wouldn’t be needed often.

Decisions, decisions.

Jenn has done a great job painting some of the furniture in the past few years.  She just picked up some new paint to refresh some of her previous projects.  They show some of the normal daily wear and tear so a new coat of paint is just the kind of “small stuff” needing to be done.

Once those little jobs are done I go on to my big stuff list or dreams.

I have a walk in shower with a small step up into it.  I want one of those showers with a smooth floor to just walk right in add in a bench attached to the wall and finally a rain shower overhead faucet too (hey i might as well dream big).

The kitchen needs the most work.  New cabinet fronts, a new counter tops, new flooring, new sinks (one deep one and one regular one with no rim around the sink- nice to have a smooth edge), new faucets and new lighting too.

Oh and I would love to replace the old toilets with two new higher versions. (I did get an estimate on this)

Flooring throughout bedrooms, living room, dining room and hallways.

Oh and let’s add to the list a full inside painting.

I could even add a deck if I wanted but not sure if that would make sense money wise since I have the enclose porch with windows and screens that open.

Wow that’s a long list! Whew…..

Tackling the “small stuff” will make me happy and allows me to cross things off the list which gives me so much satisfaction.

The big ticket items can wait.  I am so lucky to have everything I do right now.  

Each day I wake up grateful for another day and feel blessed.

The “small stuff” can all be handled.

The “big stuff” who knows?  Eventually?

I don’t mind having the lists, it gives me focus and direction.

And those who know me well know I can wander without a clear path.

OK I have made a decision, next item on the list to take care of is the bolt on the attic stairs.

One less issue, concern or problem to take up worry space in my head.

As I clear out the worry space, it gives me more room to dream.

See you next week!

Movie memories

The first movie I ever saw in a theatre was “Tom Thumb”.  I remember my Dad and a pal of his taking my brother and I to a movie theatre on 149th St in the Bronx. I was mesmerized by the movie on a giant screen.

Then there were the hot summer nights when Dad and Mom would get us in our PJ’s and take us to the drive-in.  We would play in the playground until the movie was ready to start.  Then back to the car where they had set up pillows and blankets for us.  We kids always fell asleep before the second feature.  My parents brought snacks from home.  I always wished just one time Dad would take us to the snack bar to get something to eat.  Clearly it was not part of the budget.

Funny for me as a kid to think you had to be rich to go to the snack bar.

A few weeks ago I watched “The Sound of Music” for the first time in many years.

I traveled back in time to 1965 when my fourth grade class made a trip to the Rivoli Theatre in the city to see the movie. 

What a class trip!

The summer I was first married, my Dad told me he had seen two great movies we had to see, “E.T.”  and “An Officer and a Gentleman”.

We went to see them both at a drive-in. 

Great movies and great memories. 

Yesterday, the was a question about what was your favorite movie soundtrack on FB. 

The answers varied from “Saturday Night Fever” to “Dirty Dancing”.

My brother’s answer was “A Hard Days Night”.

Seeing his answer transported me back to 1964.  We were 9 and 11 years old. Mom was  not letting us go to the movies by ourselves at that point.  So Mom got a babysitter for my sister (sorry Cheryl) and took us to the movies.

There Mom stood all of 28 years old with her two children in a line of screaming teenagers waiting to give George and I a major treat.

I don’t think she hated the experience because as was common practice back then, she said we could stay and watch it again. Even through the screams  of the teenage girls. Hard to imagine you could just stay and watch a movie again without paying again to see it.

Another summer six years later, I was the one doing the treating.  I took my younger brother, Greg to see “Wille Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” probably 4-5 times within  a few weeks. 

It was not so much that he was enamored with the movie…..truth be told….I was enamored with the movie.

During my “Disco Days” , “Saturday Night Fever” was the movie to see with it’s great soundtrack.

The dancing, dresses and music was so much a part of my life during that time.

Before you know it, I am sitting through “Beauty and the Beast” with some Moms and Jenn’s friends as a birthday treat.  I remember one scene scared Jenn and a friend and they ended up sitting on my lap until the scary part was over.

Then along came Blockbuster and there was less reason to go to a movie when you could wait a few months and rent it for a lot less and keep it for 48 hours or a week depending on the newness or popularity of the movie.  I would stand guard at the return bin hoping for a recent release to be dropped in the return box. The phrase “be kind rewind” became part of our daily language.

We still occasionally went out to the movies like the evening I went with 15-20 coworkers to see one of the Twilight movies.

And recent releases like “Top Gun Maverick” are said to be must see’s in a theatre.

But for me, going out to a movie theatre might not happen anymore post COVID.

From my childhood, through adolescence, teenage years, newlywed, parent and adulthood the movies show what was popular at the time and in some ways the pattern of my life.

The last movie I went to see in a theatre was “It’s A Wonderful Life”.  Jenn and I made it a Christmas tradition to see it each year at the Nickelodeon Theatre in Columbia a week before Christmas.  Seeing it on the big screen was such a treat and a great holiday event.

At the end of the movie, the audience always clapped, Jenn and I did too.

But now thanks to a certain Progressive commercial, I can hear the older man who is in all their commercials saying “No reason to clap.  No one involved in the movie is here” .  Too funny….

Happy 4th of July!!

God bless America!

See you next week!

 

Was life really as simple as I remember it?

Our world has gotten so confusing.  Sometimes I feel like someone took the earth and turned it upside down.

I am not saying it was right or wrong but in my mind it was simpler and easier when I was a child.

On summer days you played outside.  No hanging in the house watching TV or playing video games.

You went and as my Mom said “go call for a friend.”  Most neighborhood kids were home except for those lucky enough to go on a two week vacation.

When we lived in the Bronx, just about everyone stayed home.  Once we moved to Pearl River, we were like most others and went to the Jersey Shore for two weeks and when we finally moved up the waiting list, joined the Pearl River Swim Club.

Back in the Bronx, there was jump rope, roller skating, stick ball and a myriad of other games that we played for hours on end. Some nights, we would be out until the street lights came on.  Then inside where you hoped the box fan in the window might cool you off or else you would spend the night flipping your pillow to the cool side.

A cold supper was not unusual.  Various salads and cold cuts served in order to not heat up the kitchen using the stove.

I remember my Dad using the grill and how great the smell of whatever he was cooking would permeate the apartment in which we lived for about seven years.

Adults were addressed and Mr. and Mrs. or if they were closer friends Aunt and Uncle.

We didn’t act up because some parent was usually watching and would report any negative activity to our parents.  We were raised by a neighborhood.

I could hear my Mom talking to the neighbor next door as they both hung their laundry on the clothes line.

We had a charge account at the local deli on the corner.  The owners knew on payday Dad would come by to pay the bill.My older brother had a job there working on weekends.  He was only 12.  He also worked at the Bronx Zoo where the kids who should up earliest got to work that day.  

On Saturday nights either dad would walk to a near by candy store and pick up “The Night Owl” edition of the Sunday Daily News.  Or sometimes he would send one of us kids to get the paper and ice cream. There would be a list of what each person wanted.  Freida from the candy store would heap several scoops of ice cream on a sugar cone and wrap paper around it.  Then the race was on to get it home before they really started melting.  No dawdling for sure!

One the 4th of July, someone on the block usually had fireworks which we would watch go off from a distance.

It all seemed so simple.

Dad’s worked a job or two.  Mom’s took care of the kids, the cooking and the house.

There were trips to the Bronx Zoo on free entry day. There was ice skating on twin ponds/lakes with a bridge you would skate under which was free.  Sometimes it was a trip to Bear Mountain to watch the ski jumpers. At the end of the school year was an annual school/family trip up the Hudson to Bear Mountain for a day outdoors. As we cruised up the Hudson, we passed row after row of retired war ships, called the mothball fleet.  Those ships sat there between 1946-1971 (for you history buffs google Mothball Fleet along the Hudson River).

You will notice I have not used the word electronics except once so far.  We used our imagination.

We also appreciated the cool water from an open fire hydrant running across our legs and we sat in the street.

Sitting on the stoop watching the older boys vs the Dad’s in a game of stickball in the evening.

Boredom didn’t seem to be an issue. And we were grateful for everything.

We were not entitled or privileged or spoiled.

We were raised to know we were owed NOTHING.

We had to earn it.  Nothing was going to be handed to us.

And no one questioned it.

There were no participation awards.  If you won, you won….it was that simple.

And the last thing you would ever want to do was embarrass your parents with poor decisions, unacceptable behavior.

If you broke a window, there was the walk with dad to the neighbors house to discuss the matter and how the repair would be paid for.  No Mom or Dad not making their kids accountable for their mistakes.

I look at younger people now and wonder what happened?  Is it that they never went without? Is it that their parents made them think they were due everything? Is the generation of participation awards used to being recognized for just showing up?

I grew up really understanding the meaning of a buck, of respect, of work ethic and understanding life is not always fair.  You grew up with a tougher skin.  No snowflakes in sight.

I know I may be looking back on that time with rose colored glasses but I can honestly say, I feel lucky that I grew up when I did. 

We did not have a lot monetarily or what the world would consider signs of success but we were rich in our family experience. 

I feel bad for some of the kids of today for they will never know the joy of a penny candy or the family saving money to do something special like go to the drive-in theatre or deciding what to buy at the redemption center with the books of green stamps or plaid stamps or laying down and enjoying the smell of fresh line dried sheets at the end of a day.

We were poorer but so much richer.

See you next week!

Who Can Afford It?

This is not a political post.

I am just seeking answers and suggestions.

Yesterday….

Saturday is errand day, gas station, bank, CVS and grocery shopping.

Gas station stop, 6.5 gallons cost over $29.00.

Once we hit the national average of $5.01 it will cost me $75.00 to fill up my tank.  At the anticipated cost of $6.00 in August, it will go up to $90, for one tank of gas!!!

Jenn is in Orientation time at her job.  Normally, she drives the 300 mile round trip twice a week. Do the simple math, 600 = 2 tanks of gas = $150 a week = $600 per month.

The next two weeks, she has to drive up 3 times = 900 miles = 3 tanks of gas = $225 a week = $450 for the two weeks. I am lucky to work remote so I do split the gas cost with her.

AAA is saying they are doing more calls for people running out of gas.  I am not surprised as people are trying to pay for just enough gas that they “think” they can get by with and are not successful.

Groceries…..

I wanted one pound of American Cheese,  Jenn ended up getting one and a half pounds. Cost a little over $12.00!  $8 for a pound of American Cheese….insanity!

I also had a craving for a steak.  Jenn called me from Publix and said “Forget the steak Mom, there is nothing less than $30.” We ended up buying stew meat for $10.87.

I truly thought I was past the stage in life where I would pick up a package of meat and put it back and think “I can’t afford it or maybe next week”.  But those saying are once again part of my thoughts.

Packaging…..

I saw a report this morning that said not only are prices going up but the contents of packages are getting smaller. Coffee, dry soup mix, snacks and cereals are all on this list (and I am sure there are many more companies doing this same thing- decrease size and increase in price).

Even toilet paper, one company has adjusted their rolls from 420 sheets to 350.  How long will a roll last? And we all still have in the back of our heads the dreaded toilet paper shortage of 2020.

A box of name brand cereal is over $6.00.  Generic brand is $4.00.

A 8 ounce container of flavored cream cheese is over $4.00.

My shopping list has more cross outs (meaning never mind) that it used to.

I scour the weekly flyers to make meals plans and not have to mortgage the house to shop.

I cannot phathom how a family of four or more does it.

And rent for an apartment is impossible for a single person especially when you add in the utilities, groceries, insurance, cell phone  and everything else we need to get by.  If you don’t have two salaries, it is just out of reach.

Savings…..

I made the foolish mistake of looking at my 401K after several weeks. I could have cried. 25% of my balance was gone.  When I think of the hours I worked to contribute the maximum I could (included the catch up amount allowed due to my age), I was sad and angry. I am no longer in the position to think “it will recover, it always does”.  Time is running out as retirement looms out there in the future. I also have been preparing for the fact my SS income and 401K will be all I have to depend on(no spousal income to add in).  

Talk about a reality check.

Each month the water bills, gas/electric bills and more increase in cost.  I try to do fewer loads of laundry each week.  I try hard not to play with the thermostat as much and lights get turned off more often. I plan my weekly shopping trips ahead of time so I am not driving wasted miles.

It takes a lot more thought and planning but worth it if I can cut some costs.

With a current rate of inflation at 8.6%  (the highest since 1981) and no end in sight concerning how high it might go, I think we all have reason for concern.

The word RECESSION is about to be a reality.

I am not by any stretch of the imagination pleading poverty but I have always been practical about money.  Rarely frivolous and think a long time before any major expenditures which is not a bad thing. But when you have to plan travels, groceries and the normal things in life, who can really think about driving or flying somewhere on vacation.

Unless there are people not like me that can think “what the hell I am going anyway and will deal with the cost later”

Mortgage rates slowly climbing, while the stock market is falling and credit card rates increasing, we have been through this before back in the 1970’s and 1980’s. 

I am not sure where this craziness will all end 

How are you adjusting your lifestyle? I am open to suggestions.

See you next week.

Farewell to 2022

“Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne?”

Time to get ready to start singing this song.  (When I do, I think of “It’s A Wonderful Life” or “When Harry Met Sally”).

I have always thought of Memorial Day Weekend as a quick march to the end of the year.

5 weeks from now it’s July 4th (another long weekend YAY).

7 weeks after that is Labor Day Weekend (another long weekend YAY).

Just 4 weeks later, I am shopping for a pumpkin for the front porch.

31 days to Halloween (and for us Hallmark Christmas Movie lovers, the Countdown to Christmas movies start 24/7 on October 21st!!).

I already have my Hallmark Ornament book available to start perusing the pages and get my order in during July.

I have already started thinking about what to give my team for Christmas.

Well after Halloween, it’s just 24 days until Thanksgiving (and my birthday this year).

4 weeks later, MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!

7 days later, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Start singing that song.

I know there are those of you who think my year round obsession for Christmas is just a little crazy. 

Why am I crazy to adore a time when at least for a little while the world seems just a little happier and peaceful and is filled with warm memories, special decorations, time with family and friends (if not in person then in our minds and hearts).

What is so wrong with taking one special day and celebrating it 365 times?

I have already selected the pictures for our Christmas card this year.

How nice is it in May to already think of this year as a good one for me.  

But sorry folks, it is what it is, the days are dwindling down and the year is almost done.

Remember the real reason we celebrate Memorial Day and give thanks to those who gave their lives in order that we could live ours.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year too !!

See you next week!

PS the view I fall asleep to every night and wake up to each morning  

A painful admission

I have admitted that some not all my struggles are from the pre-COVID-COVID-kind of post COVID world.

Pre-COVID, there was the arthritis in my knees and hips. I would try and push through the pain but at times it was easier to limit my movements.  Walking with a slight limp.  I truly believe one of my legs is shorter than the other which leads to the limp. My knees tend to lock when I walk as they adjust to the difference in the length of my legs.  I walk kind of stilted, like Frankenstein.

Add to this my asthma, I use a preventive inhaler each day, twice a day.

Still, I would push through as best I could.

Then came COVID, which kept  us all home.

It is amazing how quickly, we can (or I can adjust to staying home).

Home became my cocoon.

The hard part is you don’t realize how quickly you can get used to not going out except for groceries and vaccines/booster (Flu shot, two COVID shots and one booster, two shingle shots).

At least easy for me.

But maybe too easy.

I feel safe in my home.  I am careful as I walk so as to not fall/trip which we all know has been historically a problem for me (broken arm/20 plus stitches in my face).

I also have come to realize mentally, I have allowed my world to get smaller.

Fear of strange places, fear of long walks to places, fear of my asthma kicking into gear unexpectedly.

Do you see a recurring theme?

No, I am not crazy.

I have just allowed my fears to take over.

When I was still going to the office a few days a week, I was able to push through.

Once the office closed, things changed.

I will not be going back into the office which is good.  The commute was long and exhausting and now would be super expensive.

So I am put in a position to “heal myself”.

I don’t think I realized how bad things had gotten until at one point it dawned on me I hadn’t left the house in two weeks.

Two weeks!

Now, I make a point of going out once a week to run errands with Jenn. I do the driving she does the running.

But it does get me out.

I had been out to dinner back in November with Jenn and my pal, Kathy but nothing since then except errands and driving to Columbia to get my hair cut and colored.

I know I can’t spend my life in this cocoon or could I?

In small steps, I need to start to fight back.

Kathy called and asked if Jenn and I wanted to meet her, her sister and brother-in-law for lunch on Saturday.

I told her I would call her back.

I called and told her we could meet at the Pub on the island where I live.

Then the anxiety kicked in.

I spent the next day and a half stressing about it.

I woke up Saturday thinking maybe I should cancel.

I knew if I did cancel it would make going out again that much harder.

I took something to calm me down.

I told Jenn I really couldn’t talk about my anxiety and kept my responses to Jenn who was trying to make conversation with me short.

To add to the challenge I had to blow dry my hair and put on make-up.

When home, towel drying my hair suffices but it is not good enough to be out in public.

I had to lay out my makeup on the bathroom counter the same way a surgeon lays out their instruments. Once the counter was empty, i knew I had put everything on.  I did have to think about the order in which I used each item.

Finally, it was time to go.  My heart was racing.

I hadn’t been to the Pub since December 2019 due to COVID and yes me.

We got there early, Jenn dropped me off and I sat in one of the chairs in front.

Jenn parked the car and came to assist me.

We went up the stairs oh so slowly.

Then I grabbed the railing and Jenn’s arm.

Walking slowly, very slowly.  Calculating each step.

I was counting each step out loud (a new habit I have developed).

As we got close to the front door, Natalie, from the front desk came out to hold the door for assistance.

I was spent by then.

She offered me a chair and a glass of water.

My breathing became normal and my heart stopped racing.

Jenn and Vanessa, our server, helped me to our table.

I made it!

After a long lunch with a ton of conversation and laughter it was time to leave.

Once again my nerves acted up as I thought of the long walk back to the car,

I walked with assistance to the lobby and waited while Jenn got the car.

Vanessa gave me a cup of water in a travel cup.

Out the door we went, Jenn, Natalie, Vanessa and me.  Talk about a parade.

I took each step slowly and only had to stop twice to catch my nervous breath.

The stairs were taken at a slow pace, one foot down then the other over and over again.

I got in the car and a waive of relief hit me.

Vanessa and Natalie applauded me and said “you keep going, you keep pushing, you did great”.

Jenn just said “I told you you could do it”.

My first real foray out in a long time.

I will continue to push myself because now the community pool is open without the restrictions that had been in place last two years (one of which was the pool was totally close in 2020).

It has been hard to admit to these fears but I needed to be honest with myself and all of you.

I found a chair yoga website that I am going to use which I think will help me with movement, endurance and balance.

And it is heading into my favorite season of great fruits and vegetables to help with my refocus on healthy eating and weight reduction.

Yesterday, was a victory for me!

I won the battle!

I did not let my fears stop me.

And from here I can continue to take baby steps forward until I hit my stride.

Please do not think I am crazy or have lost my mind.

I am the same friendly, smart, funny person I have ways been just carrying a little extra mental baggage of which I am trying to free myself.

Each step I took yesterday while I was counting the steps was really a rally cry of victory as I escape my fears of leaving home.

Good for me!

Way to go Donna1

Let’s see what challenge I face next.

See you next week!

Not much direction in my thoughts this week

Here I go, a blog entry with no direction.

I’ve got nothing.

Or maybe its the exact opposite, I am all over the place.

Just read on and see what I mean.

I was really angry this week watching the news. The events had me upset and in tears out of frustration.

I have stopped looking at my 401K as my retirement savings disappear with each bad day at the stock market.

I envy watching people walk with ease as my arthritis makes anything of the than short distances a challenge.  

It can be depressing to think walking through stores or into buildings can cause me pain.

On the very up side, I am loving my job.

Being back in management.

I inherited a fantastic team.

I have made more decisions in the last three weeks as manager than I did in the six months of my previous stint.

I enjoy the banter between my sales partners and me.  I can be frank or funny or use colorful language in our conversations.

I also get to laugh.

I am also incredibly grateful for the path God took me down the last year.

The way I view my job now versus last year is a total 180.

We all still have lessons to learn and continue to grow.

I find joy in waking up each day.

I love eating Hamburger salad for lunch (with 98% fat free ground turkey).

Red seedless grapes are tasting so sweet right now.  No tartness at all.

Knowing my grocery bill is climbing and the sizes of the items are getting smaller frustrates me.

Yesterday, I purchased a little over two gallons of gas for almost $10!!

In the scheme of things these are not huge issues compared to people trying to find formula for their babies.

Through all the craziness, the sun rises and sets each day.  The tides change as it follows the fullness of the moon and it waxes and wanes.

And we aways have God to turn to in times of worry and praise and joy and thanks.

Thankfully that never changes  

See you next week!