Last week I think some of my entries were subconsciously asking for feedback.
I appreciate the fact that some of you commented on my postings. I actually heard from more of you than I expected. That was a nice surprise. Anytime someone takes the time to call, text, e-mail or message me with their thoughts I love it. Since so many of you have such a variety of life experiences your feedback is not only varied but also gives me a lot to think about.
Please keep those cards and letters coming in......knowing that you are reading and are taking the time to share your thoughts with me means a lot. You never know when something you share with me may end up in one of my blog entries. Don't worry.....I will never reveal anything embarrassing about anyone except myself......promise!!!
Friday, February 24, 2012
Dr. S, John J., Sister ? and Jessie C.
The individuals above have had an impact on the lives of me and my family. They changed our lives by simple gestures.....some just for an instant and others for a lifetime.
Dr. S. was the Dean of Admissions at Fordham University when a young George Raboni Sr. applied for admission. Fordham had turned him down. My dad met with Dr. S. and explained that he had graduated in the bottom of his high school class. No one had bothered to notice he was in the bottom of the class at the Bronx High School of Science (read up on this school.....it is pretty impressive). Anyway, Dad offered to take a test against any graduating Senior or Faculty and guaranteed he would come out in the top 10%. Dr. S. offered to accept Dad non-matriculating. Dad fought back and was finally accepted at Fordham. At the end of his first year, Dad won the Gold medal for Excellence......he was #1 in his Freshman class. Dr. S. was the one who presented Dad with the award. Thanks Dr. S.!!!
John J. was a mortgage exec at Marine Midland Bank. When we applied for our first mortgage we knew we were a borderline case. We were approved by the bank but not by the private mortgage insurance company. We needed the PMI since we were only putting down 10% on our first home. I was so upset that we were going to lose the chance to own a home. I worked at a branch of Marine Midland and told my manager what had happened. She gave me a piece of paper with a name and phone number. She told me to call John J. I did and gave him the background of what had taken place. In a very guff voice he said he would look into it and get back to me. About 20 minutes later, he called and said "You have been approved. Make sure you make your payments!!" I sent him a bottle of champagne as a thank you. He called me up and said "Thank you. Now save your money to pay that mortgage"......click.....end of conversation.
Sister ?........this was a tough one. I had finished up my AA degree and had transferred to a 4 year college. I struggled through my first semester. I knew I was in trouble my first day of philosophy class when the instructor drew a square on the wall and asked why that part of the wall was different from the rest.....LOL. At the end of the first semester I was placed on academic probation. I met with the Dean of Students who told me I was most likely not college material and would have to leave school. Now I had to tell my parents I was being thrown out of school......not an easy conversation to have with them. Actually, my grandmother broke the news for me. Well, I ended up at Mercy College (no joke that's the name) a small private Catholic college. And yes, I did get my degree so stick that in your wimple Sr. ?......you didn't know me at all.....your quick to decide judgement could have been devastating but instead my solution was to graduate and copy my diploma, mail her a copy with a note that said I had graduated and I guess I was college material after all.......
Jessie C. ........when you move your child in between the 7th and 8th grade 700 miles form her friends you worry about the transition. Plus, we were putting her in a private school. Orientation was 2 weeks after we moved in. We sat in the back of the auditorium while the students sat up front. Jenn sat alone a few rows between us and the students. Inside I was dying......I wanted to go sit with her but knew it would be wrong. All of a sudden Jessie C. turned around and waved at Jenn to come sit with her. God bless Jessie C.!!!! Later, I met Jessie's parents. I told them they had raised a wonderful daughter whom I would never forget.
4 individuals......each had an impact on our lives. I wonder if I have ever had that kind of impact on any one (meaning the good kine not like Sr. ?)......I hope I have.
Dr. S. was the Dean of Admissions at Fordham University when a young George Raboni Sr. applied for admission. Fordham had turned him down. My dad met with Dr. S. and explained that he had graduated in the bottom of his high school class. No one had bothered to notice he was in the bottom of the class at the Bronx High School of Science (read up on this school.....it is pretty impressive). Anyway, Dad offered to take a test against any graduating Senior or Faculty and guaranteed he would come out in the top 10%. Dr. S. offered to accept Dad non-matriculating. Dad fought back and was finally accepted at Fordham. At the end of his first year, Dad won the Gold medal for Excellence......he was #1 in his Freshman class. Dr. S. was the one who presented Dad with the award. Thanks Dr. S.!!!
John J. was a mortgage exec at Marine Midland Bank. When we applied for our first mortgage we knew we were a borderline case. We were approved by the bank but not by the private mortgage insurance company. We needed the PMI since we were only putting down 10% on our first home. I was so upset that we were going to lose the chance to own a home. I worked at a branch of Marine Midland and told my manager what had happened. She gave me a piece of paper with a name and phone number. She told me to call John J. I did and gave him the background of what had taken place. In a very guff voice he said he would look into it and get back to me. About 20 minutes later, he called and said "You have been approved. Make sure you make your payments!!" I sent him a bottle of champagne as a thank you. He called me up and said "Thank you. Now save your money to pay that mortgage"......click.....end of conversation.
Sister ?........this was a tough one. I had finished up my AA degree and had transferred to a 4 year college. I struggled through my first semester. I knew I was in trouble my first day of philosophy class when the instructor drew a square on the wall and asked why that part of the wall was different from the rest.....LOL. At the end of the first semester I was placed on academic probation. I met with the Dean of Students who told me I was most likely not college material and would have to leave school. Now I had to tell my parents I was being thrown out of school......not an easy conversation to have with them. Actually, my grandmother broke the news for me. Well, I ended up at Mercy College (no joke that's the name) a small private Catholic college. And yes, I did get my degree so stick that in your wimple Sr. ?......you didn't know me at all.....your quick to decide judgement could have been devastating but instead my solution was to graduate and copy my diploma, mail her a copy with a note that said I had graduated and I guess I was college material after all.......
Jessie C. ........when you move your child in between the 7th and 8th grade 700 miles form her friends you worry about the transition. Plus, we were putting her in a private school. Orientation was 2 weeks after we moved in. We sat in the back of the auditorium while the students sat up front. Jenn sat alone a few rows between us and the students. Inside I was dying......I wanted to go sit with her but knew it would be wrong. All of a sudden Jessie C. turned around and waved at Jenn to come sit with her. God bless Jessie C.!!!! Later, I met Jessie's parents. I told them they had raised a wonderful daughter whom I would never forget.
4 individuals......each had an impact on our lives. I wonder if I have ever had that kind of impact on any one (meaning the good kine not like Sr. ?)......I hope I have.
OK So About Lent
Lent......just the word conjures up memories of Catholic School. The big decision was what to give up for Lent. You would suggest things like not watching TV from 12 to 1 each day and then Mom would remind you that you were never home at that time so come up with something else or she would suggest just trying to be nicer to your siblings. My Dad would give up sweets, alcohol and bread for Lent. So guess what that meant for the rest of us.....you guessed it meant we would also be giving up sweets and bread (we were too young to have to deal with the alcohol part). To poor Mom's frustration Dad would always lose about 15 pounds during Lent and she wouldn't lose but a pound or two.
Each year I try to find something to do for Lent. One year it was giving up cheese.....what was I thinking??????? Everyone know I am passionate about cheese!!!! I even have a poem about cheese I want read at my funeral or gathering. Another year I chose to work on my language or should I say bad language........I did pretty well with that but you sure wouldn't have wanted to hear what I had to say once Lent was over.
This year I had 2 targets....food and exercise.
Food: The goal for this Lenten season is to work on portion control and exercise every day. If I want pretzels I have to count the out. I want cheese.....I have to put it on the food scale I have. Right now I am steaming up a big pot of vegetables. I am going to put them in some chicken broth (the low fat low sodium kind) and some noodles that are high in protein and low in carbs (they better be for what I spent on them.....LOL).
Exercise: The goal is to exercise everyday in some form or another. I have been to the gym 4 times this week. Each time I spent from 30-45 minutes in the pool jogging. Now I mean real jogging......pumping my arms in the water and moving at varying speeds. I was pleased to find water jogging in the Weight Watchers activity points finder.....wow I am burning a lot of calories and earning a lot of activity points (which I will not be using for more food). The days I don't go to the gym Jenn has pulled out the stepper for us to use. I also read this week that if you march in place lifting your feet at least 6 inches off the floor just during the commercials of a one hour TV show you can burn 150 calories.....the article said that is more calories than walking on a treadmill for 30 minutes. If you don't agree with the article go take it up with the University of Tennessee.
I know it may not be a sacrifice to some but for me this is a lot to undertake. I used to love the days I didn't go to the gym because I could relax......not anymore. I always thought I could eyeball a portion but the food scale will keep me honest.
The saying goes "it takes 30 days for something to become a habit". Well, Lent is 40days long so I have time for these changes to become a habit. hhhhmmmmm......maybe this is an answer to my prayers to help me give my goal of a healthier lifestyle a kick start......OK Heavenly Father I am getting the message........now can you just find a way to make some of my favorite foods a little lower in calories, fat, carbs and sugar??? I would appreciate the help.....
Each year I try to find something to do for Lent. One year it was giving up cheese.....what was I thinking??????? Everyone know I am passionate about cheese!!!! I even have a poem about cheese I want read at my funeral or gathering. Another year I chose to work on my language or should I say bad language........I did pretty well with that but you sure wouldn't have wanted to hear what I had to say once Lent was over.
This year I had 2 targets....food and exercise.
Food: The goal for this Lenten season is to work on portion control and exercise every day. If I want pretzels I have to count the out. I want cheese.....I have to put it on the food scale I have. Right now I am steaming up a big pot of vegetables. I am going to put them in some chicken broth (the low fat low sodium kind) and some noodles that are high in protein and low in carbs (they better be for what I spent on them.....LOL).
Exercise: The goal is to exercise everyday in some form or another. I have been to the gym 4 times this week. Each time I spent from 30-45 minutes in the pool jogging. Now I mean real jogging......pumping my arms in the water and moving at varying speeds. I was pleased to find water jogging in the Weight Watchers activity points finder.....wow I am burning a lot of calories and earning a lot of activity points (which I will not be using for more food). The days I don't go to the gym Jenn has pulled out the stepper for us to use. I also read this week that if you march in place lifting your feet at least 6 inches off the floor just during the commercials of a one hour TV show you can burn 150 calories.....the article said that is more calories than walking on a treadmill for 30 minutes. If you don't agree with the article go take it up with the University of Tennessee.
I know it may not be a sacrifice to some but for me this is a lot to undertake. I used to love the days I didn't go to the gym because I could relax......not anymore. I always thought I could eyeball a portion but the food scale will keep me honest.
The saying goes "it takes 30 days for something to become a habit". Well, Lent is 40days long so I have time for these changes to become a habit. hhhhmmmmm......maybe this is an answer to my prayers to help me give my goal of a healthier lifestyle a kick start......OK Heavenly Father I am getting the message........now can you just find a way to make some of my favorite foods a little lower in calories, fat, carbs and sugar??? I would appreciate the help.....
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Things That Make Me Smile
Here is a list of things that make me happy......it is very diverse but so are my tastes......I can enjoy sushi or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (it does have to be Jiff peanut butter and strawberry preserves).......I can enjoy a Yoo Hoo or a vodka and diet 7up......this of course it not my full list but just some things that popped into my head. What things make you smile, laugh or brings you joy ????
While I was working out in the pool yesterday I saw a Dad walking up the path to the gym giving his young son a piggy back ride. The look on the little boys face was sheer joy.
I open the glass jar that sits on my desk. It was Christmas gift from Jenn. I pull out some slips of white paper. I know I am breaking the rules.....only one slip at a time. The first slip says....eating a piece of cake by eating the cake part first and saving the icing for last......another says The Jersey Shore....I do not love the show but Jenn thinks it's terribly funny that I know the phrase "t shirt time" and "GTL".......that make me smile.
Friday night knowing I have the whole week-end ahead of me.
Leaving the gym after a workout.
A cup of coffee from my Keurig.
Deciding to watch a Christmas movie the 25th of each month throughout the year.
Getting up Sunday morning knowing I have finished the cooking, ironing, bills and other chores and having the rest of the day to do what I want.
Watching the CBS Sunday morning show.
OK I have to admit it.....reality TV.....The Amazing Race......Project Runway.....The Apprentice.....Dancing With The Stars...Top Chef.....sorry if this doesn't sound like the most intelligent TV viewing.....it uses no brain cells and I find it entertaining.
Ordering The Sunday New York Times on my kindle.
The feel of my fleece blanket when I sit in my recliner at the end of the day.
Waking up and feeling grateful for another day.
Any show with Betty White....I get a kick out of her.
Knowing I am making better choices as I go through the day both health and food wise.
Writing down topics for blog entries during the week.
Something I haven't done in many years.....eating the bottom of the pudding and saving that top skin for last.
Getting to work on time.
Getting out of work on time.
Planning time off.
Getting positive feedback on my blog......hint, hint......smile....smile....
While I was working out in the pool yesterday I saw a Dad walking up the path to the gym giving his young son a piggy back ride. The look on the little boys face was sheer joy.
I open the glass jar that sits on my desk. It was Christmas gift from Jenn. I pull out some slips of white paper. I know I am breaking the rules.....only one slip at a time. The first slip says....eating a piece of cake by eating the cake part first and saving the icing for last......another says The Jersey Shore....I do not love the show but Jenn thinks it's terribly funny that I know the phrase "t shirt time" and "GTL".......that make me smile.
Friday night knowing I have the whole week-end ahead of me.
Leaving the gym after a workout.
A cup of coffee from my Keurig.
Deciding to watch a Christmas movie the 25th of each month throughout the year.
Getting up Sunday morning knowing I have finished the cooking, ironing, bills and other chores and having the rest of the day to do what I want.
Watching the CBS Sunday morning show.
OK I have to admit it.....reality TV.....The Amazing Race......Project Runway.....The Apprentice.....Dancing With The Stars...Top Chef.....sorry if this doesn't sound like the most intelligent TV viewing.....it uses no brain cells and I find it entertaining.
Ordering The Sunday New York Times on my kindle.
The feel of my fleece blanket when I sit in my recliner at the end of the day.
Waking up and feeling grateful for another day.
Any show with Betty White....I get a kick out of her.
Knowing I am making better choices as I go through the day both health and food wise.
Writing down topics for blog entries during the week.
Something I haven't done in many years.....eating the bottom of the pudding and saving that top skin for last.
Getting to work on time.
Getting out of work on time.
Planning time off.
Getting positive feedback on my blog......hint, hint......smile....smile....
I Guess I Am Still In Denial
I have heard there are several stages to the grief process....shock....check.....
anger.....check.....denial.......that the one where I am stuck......I think several times a day about calling her......the world operates as if nothing has changed... well it has. At work it is business as usual.....not for me. I know in time the reality will set in but please do not say to me "it has been six weeks and it is time to move on". Do you have a clue how big this loss is for me?????
I don't walk around sobbing but inside I think my heart is a little broken. Yes, I can still laugh about things and act as though things are normal but they are not. I can talk to my siblings and think they get what I am feeling but sometimes I feel very alone. I pray more.....now .....every night before I go to sleep.....I am grateful to wake up each morning to face a new day but I have also been a little more reclusive....I also try to fill the time especially on the rides home from work at night by calling friends and family.....it fills in what used to be "our time"......the nights I drive home in silence can seem long and lonely . I think more about death.....mine. I sure hope that is just a passing phase because of what has just happened......I sure do not want to spend the next 20 plus years thinking about that.....(see I am at least thinking I have 20+ years to go).
I don't know what stage the experts say is next......maybe reality? Well if what I am feeling is not real.....Lord help me when I get to the next stage......these last 6 almost 7 weeks have been way to real for me already.....
anger.....check.....denial.......that the one where I am stuck......I think several times a day about calling her......the world operates as if nothing has changed... well it has. At work it is business as usual.....not for me. I know in time the reality will set in but please do not say to me "it has been six weeks and it is time to move on". Do you have a clue how big this loss is for me?????
I don't walk around sobbing but inside I think my heart is a little broken. Yes, I can still laugh about things and act as though things are normal but they are not. I can talk to my siblings and think they get what I am feeling but sometimes I feel very alone. I pray more.....now .....every night before I go to sleep.....I am grateful to wake up each morning to face a new day but I have also been a little more reclusive....I also try to fill the time especially on the rides home from work at night by calling friends and family.....it fills in what used to be "our time"......the nights I drive home in silence can seem long and lonely . I think more about death.....mine. I sure hope that is just a passing phase because of what has just happened......I sure do not want to spend the next 20 plus years thinking about that.....(see I am at least thinking I have 20+ years to go).
I don't know what stage the experts say is next......maybe reality? Well if what I am feeling is not real.....Lord help me when I get to the next stage......these last 6 almost 7 weeks have been way to real for me already.....
Why I Hate New Years Eve and Valentines Day
New Year's Eve and Valentines Day are days for couples......happy couples.....couples on the same page.
How is it that you go to sleep one night and suddenly you wake up and don't know the person next to you. I know I have changed over the years but I think I have always been realistic about my lot in life. I have always known what I could afford and why I can't afford other things. When it comes to money I think I have done my share. So why am I blamed for the things we do not have. Why do I always have to be the bad guy and say we can't afford this or we can't afford that. I have been blamed for doing a lousy job at the finances.......it's not easy when you haven't had enough to make ends meet. Especially, when other people keep saying I want, I want, I want.......well guess what??? I want things too.....I have denied myself a lot......my part of the income carries the bulk of the financial responsibility but doesn't get the bulk of the rewards......finances can cause a strain on a relationship......so can illness........
It is hard to repair the damage of cruel words. Should a good day be one without any kind of confrontation? Shouldn't home be the place to look forward to going to?
So give me Groundhog Day or Presidents Day.......at least I don't have to be part of a couple to celebrate it......
How is it that you go to sleep one night and suddenly you wake up and don't know the person next to you. I know I have changed over the years but I think I have always been realistic about my lot in life. I have always known what I could afford and why I can't afford other things. When it comes to money I think I have done my share. So why am I blamed for the things we do not have. Why do I always have to be the bad guy and say we can't afford this or we can't afford that. I have been blamed for doing a lousy job at the finances.......it's not easy when you haven't had enough to make ends meet. Especially, when other people keep saying I want, I want, I want.......well guess what??? I want things too.....I have denied myself a lot......my part of the income carries the bulk of the financial responsibility but doesn't get the bulk of the rewards......finances can cause a strain on a relationship......so can illness........
It is hard to repair the damage of cruel words. Should a good day be one without any kind of confrontation? Shouldn't home be the place to look forward to going to?
So give me Groundhog Day or Presidents Day.......at least I don't have to be part of a couple to celebrate it......
This Fat Lady Ain't Gonna Sing
In my heart of hearts I still believe my long range goals will happen. I have started using the stepper in the house. I am now going to use it the nights I don't go to the gym.. The other night I did 250 steps......my goal.......500 steps a night. Doing the first 250 really got the old ticker going.....cardio, cardio,cardio.
When you are told by someone who is supposed to be close to you that the only way to lose the fat on your body is to go to a hospital and have it cut off......you want to cry or scream. The good thing is it made me mad. Anger is a funny thing it can either defeat you or make you want to fight back more. That is my choice to fight back more.......and that is what led me to the stepper. I have tried to walk around more at work. I have returned the shopping carts to the store instead of leaving them in the parking lot. I have chosen life over pain. I know that when I walk I walk stiffly due to my knee. I know when I climb stairs I look funny taking a step at a time. Do I have to wear a sign that says I took an ugly fall 6 years ago and my knee has never been the same since then? Why do I feel the need to apologize for the way I walk or climb? And why the hell do I feel self conscious about the way I walk......no one but me knows what the pain is like......but what do people think when they see me walk....I know what they are thinking......oh look at her she's fat and that is why she can't walk long distances or climb.......well guess what folks that's not it.......it is that it friggin hurts.....but I try to fight the pain each and every day......every once in a while I will walk pain free and when I realize that for some reason I am in a pain free zone.....I relish it......but most days the pain is there......the pain in the knee and in my heart because of the judgement of others......well judge all you want......I will continue to use the stepper and the elliptical and all the other things at my disposal to help me out......I am not giving up and I sure as hell am not singing.....
When you are told by someone who is supposed to be close to you that the only way to lose the fat on your body is to go to a hospital and have it cut off......you want to cry or scream. The good thing is it made me mad. Anger is a funny thing it can either defeat you or make you want to fight back more. That is my choice to fight back more.......and that is what led me to the stepper. I have tried to walk around more at work. I have returned the shopping carts to the store instead of leaving them in the parking lot. I have chosen life over pain. I know that when I walk I walk stiffly due to my knee. I know when I climb stairs I look funny taking a step at a time. Do I have to wear a sign that says I took an ugly fall 6 years ago and my knee has never been the same since then? Why do I feel the need to apologize for the way I walk or climb? And why the hell do I feel self conscious about the way I walk......no one but me knows what the pain is like......but what do people think when they see me walk....I know what they are thinking......oh look at her she's fat and that is why she can't walk long distances or climb.......well guess what folks that's not it.......it is that it friggin hurts.....but I try to fight the pain each and every day......every once in a while I will walk pain free and when I realize that for some reason I am in a pain free zone.....I relish it......but most days the pain is there......the pain in the knee and in my heart because of the judgement of others......well judge all you want......I will continue to use the stepper and the elliptical and all the other things at my disposal to help me out......I am not giving up and I sure as hell am not singing.....
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