I Am Back........

No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth.........no, I didn't give up writing my blog........no, I haven't forgotten about all of you......

In the last 4 weeks, I have been in 15 or 16 states and traveled 4,000 miles.......yes 4,000 miles ....hours in the car.....about 70 ........tolls......LOL only on my New York trip.......pretty expensive.......we stayed in one pretty ugly motel out of sheer desperation and exhaustion. It was the only place I even stayed where I had to sleep with a shirt over my head for fear of bugs in the room.  Oh and have you ever gone into a hotel bathroom and found toilet paper in the toilet and the floor was wet (God knows what from)......so as you can see this was a luxury accommodation.

Anyway, we had a great time in NY.We were able to spend time with my brother, Greg and his family.  His son, Anthony, graduated from high school.

Two weeks later, we were off to Missouri for a family gathering.  950 miles and 18-19 hours in the car each way.

Between both trips and some other side trips, I tried to stay on plan but did indulge in some treats,  There is no way I could leave NY without breakfast at The Ridge Diner, eating pizza, a bagel, stop at Rockland Bakery for Linzer Tarts and black and white cookies, some Drakes Coffee Cakes and Devil Dogs.  I made some ham rolls, hot dogs in sauce and chocolate chip cookies for the visit to my brother.  In Missouri, I did indulge in real, wonderful and delectable treats from a bakery in Wisconsin (thank you Aaron and Bre), there were more ham rolls, tortellini salad, hot tortellini and on and on......

After the NY trip, I was up a few pounds.  A week after my return from Missouri, I was down at the scales. I found I can have the treats......occasionally......but now know I can get back on plan and not linger in the world of goodies.  Weight Watchers wants you to live your life and learn that you can have a treat or treats.  I was very aware of what I ate and I tracked it all even when I exceeded my daily points.

Now that I am back at home, the fridge is filled with veggies and fruits again.  Back to my focus of losing!!

A cousin shared a group picture of those of us who gathered from my Ohana.  I saw in the picture what others have told me.......time to go shopping Donna.

Saturday, Jenn and I went shopping and shop we did!! Everything was on sale.  And as I said on FB, I cried at the register.  I was overwhelmed at what I could wear that was sizes smaller than what I used to wear.  I remember walking into stores and not being able to find anything that fit.  Now it was a matter of what size I was going to fit in.

I also cried because of the final total of what I had spent.....Jenn knowing this added up what it would have cost me if I had paid full price for everything to make me feel better.

Then when I got home, I ordered a bathing suit that was on sale.  I also ordered 3 pairs of pants for work and with the Retail Me Not app.....I saved about 50% and half the shipping fee.

I am set with clothes until I lose another 60 pounds.

Sunday was clean out the closet day.  By the time I was done,  I had 5 bags of old big clothes that I took to Goodwill and those were to good clothes.....some I just pitched. My closet look organized and I can actually find things easily....thank you Jenn for organizing it for me!!

So new clothes, down at the scale, pitched old clothes....not so bad!!

Here is the pile of clothes that went to Goodwill:

And here is what my closet looks like now:

Notice the variety of colors........it was suggested I give up some of the black I wore on a regular basis.....

Well it is good to be home......not sure for how long or where I might be off to next.......I will just have to wait and see......

See you next week !!

You can go home again.......

Sorry Thomas Wolfe.....you were wrong......you said 'You Can't Go Home Again"....you can go home as long as you understand that everything changes.....and you can go home and visit but you need to be prepared for the changes.

OK first let me back up a little....sorry I missed last week.....I was away visiting friends for a few days. Then it was a few days of working and off to NY.

Jenn and I headed for NY on Wednesday.  It is always a long drive but the anticipation on seeing family and friends makes the trip worth it. We arrived in my hometown, Pearl River, NY around midnight (OK yes The Bronx is where I spend the first 14 years of my life but Pearl River is where I grew up).

Anyway, we stopped by Shoprite and were able to see my brother, Greg.  I hadn't seen him in over 3 years.  I have called him Bud since he was young,  He was my little Buddy I took with me or dragged with me a lot.  We are still in discussion as to whether or not I wanted to see Willy Wonka 6 times or he did.....I think it might have been a compromise......

We checked in at the PR Hilton (thank you Tim!!!!) and crashed.

In the movie, "City Slickers", they talk about their best and worst day. They were not allowed to include the things like the day their kids were born.

Well, Thursday was one of my best days.....

Jenn told me the Hilton had an indoor pool so we made time for a workout every day.  Then an old friend stopped by to see us and from there it was crazy.  We had breakfast at a real honest to goodness diner!! Shopping in town for local t shirts, purchasing enough Reinzi clam sauce to keep us well stocked for the next 2 years, a visit with one of Jenn's elementary school teachers, we went to visit Mom and Dad at Rockland cemetery and went by the family home to see what the story was for the graduation ceremony.  Before we knew it, we were at PRHS watching the last of the Raboni's walk at graduation.  I was the first in the 1970's and now my nephew, Anthony was the last......5 decades of Raboni's had walked that walk. Then back to the Hilton, to meet my friend, Jayne for a drink.  It took 5 minutes to catch up and then an hour of just pure chatting. Next stop,dinner with the family at the Nanuet Restaurant where they have some of the best pizza in the world!!!! Whew......what a day!!!!!

Friday was not quite as crazy.....workout, a bagel for breakfast and off to my brother's house.  The weather was to die for.......70's ....after the heat in SC it was great.  Just spending a day catching up with him and his family and the extended family was such a treat.

Saturday was the party and it was a lot of fun.  Friends and family gathering to celebrate.

Then before it knew it it was midnight and I was setting the alarm to get up at 4:30 for the journey home.  We pulled out of my brother's driveway at 5:01AM. Except a a long wait for coffee at a rest stop and some heavy traffic below Richmond VA the trip was not too bad and we were home by 6:15 and that included time to pick up the dog from the vet/kennel.

To get back to my original statement, it was great to go someplace that you know like the back of your hand.  It was also hard to be there and not have Mom along for the ride.  It was difficult to see the "For Sale" sign in front of my parents house.  I couldn't get myself to go inside to say good by.  But I believe that a home (which is different from a house) has a soul.  The spirits of my Mom and Dad are still there.  I can still feel the memories of weddings, graduations, birthdays and of course holidays at 33 Haven Terrace.  It was the place my older brother left to join the Marine's, it was the home my youngest brother would eventually own and his own sons would call their home, my sister and I left there as brides, my daughter was christened in the living room right next to my Dad's hospital bed during his final days.  And yes, my Dad died in that home.  Life had come full circle in that special place.  We all grew up and moved away......one by one.  And some day soon there will be another family building memories in that home.

Some notes to the new owners......I hope you have the joy and happiness we all had living there for the past 45 years.  I hope you do not have the sorrows we shared there too.  Oh and one more thing.....if you ever remove the shed and dig underneath it......no were no some crazy sick family.....what you will find in plastic bags of various sizes (up to big trash bags) are the toys and remains of some beloved family pets......

See you next week......

OH PS....I was down a lot at the scale last week and went to get weighed in this morning and was up.  Well, I am blaming it on sodium.  In the fried rice I ate, in the bacon pizza I ate, in the salt bagel I ate......see the recurring theme here....I ate and sodium.  I have to say I didn't eat as much as I would have in the past but I also did not focus on fruits and veggies like I have been..... but I am back on track....I had brussels sprouts for dinner last  night and already downed some grapes.....here's hoping the gain should dissappear next week...... I did work out everyday and that is not something I would NOT have done before.  Also, my sister-in-law commented like one of my friends last week that I need to go t shirt shopping.  She said she saw me keep pulling the v-neck of my shirt together since it has gotten too big.....not a bad thing!!!!

I Am Not A Quitter......

OK so the scale did not say what I wanted it to today. I hate the scale!!!!! I looked back over my week and tried to figure out what I might have done wrong.......

I ate the way I was supposed to......I went to the gym......I pooped regularly (oh get over it....yes pooping is important and you don't want to go into a weigh in with any excess baggage so to speak).......

Was it the bamboo shoots, snow peas and water chestnuts with soy sauce on Friday??
Was it the fact I didn't drink all of my water?
Can you really eat too many brussels sprouts?
Can you eat too many veggies?
Is it the carrots that I have added to my veggie list?
Did I not move enough this week?
Did I not give myself enough variety?
Did I give myself too much variety?

Do you see how confusing and mind boggling this process can be??????

I stayed for my meeting.......I didn't cry.......I just gave it a lot of thought.  I have reset my goals some.......now I hope to hit 75 pounds gone by my birthday.  If I hit it before that great but I am trying not to put too much pressure on myself.  Pressure and stress can be my enemies.  What a great birthday gift to myself  to be 75 pounds down (and I always remind myself to add on a extra 10 pounds to whatever I lose since my all time high -at least recorded from one of my previous WW memberships was 10 pounds more then when I started this time).

I came home and cooked all my veggies.  I cut up my all my salad ingredients so they can be ready at a a moments notice.  I made some WW muffins.  I am in good shape for the week.

I don't think moving the bar further out is a bad thing.  I am trying to be realistic.  The one thing I am sure of is this time I am not giving up!!!!!! My health has improved and I am way more mobile than I have been in years  Yes, I still have achy knees and hips......I am still not ready for long walks or 5K's but I am up and down and all around in stores, my kitchen and the gym. Silly as it sounds I don't dread walking to the ladies room 4-5 times a day.....that's what happens when you drink that much water!!

So what am I worried about......I am going to NY for my nephews graduation soon.....yes, I am going to the land of real pizza, fabulous bagels and the amazing Rockland Bakery where the fresh rolls and Lintzer Tarts are to die for.......the WW philosophy is that you can eat these things.....in moderation......a few ladies at my meeting had some good suggestions such as have one treat a day, use my extra weekly points and be prepared with foods I can eat that will keep my points in control and me on track.  This will take more planning than I have done since I started WW last fall but I am sure I can do it.  If I could get through the holidays and continue to lose surely I can get through a few days in NY..........I hope.......OK hell yes I can!!!!

That elusive 60 pounds is still out there but close enough to touch.  I am seeing the progress and making strides.  I cannot be defeated.....not this time......but can it be just a tiny bit easier.......please.......

It has been a life long battle but one I will win.......I am sure of that.....no matter how long it takes......I am not a quitter............

See you next week........

Barry & Me.......and some other stuff.......

OK the event was 40 years in the making.........

I will start by admitting yes it's true but I am a FANILOW!!! LOL

A few months ago a friend asked me, "if you could see anyone in concert who would it be?" I asked, "dead or alive?"  My girlfriend started to laugh and said "alive you ass!!" And I said Barry Manilow.  Well lo and behold after checking the concert schedule Barry was going to be in Charlotte on June 6th.

Last night, I went to see Barry with Jenn  and my sister, Cheryl.  Jenn was a good sport and went with us although she was probably among the youngest people at the show.  It seemed funny to be sitting in an audience of so many people around my age.

The show was great!! With the exception of two songs, I knew every one he sang.  I had been playing
 his songs on my IPOD on the way to Charlotte and there is one song I told Jenn I liked but he probably wouldn't sing. It is called "All The Time".  It is a song about wanting to fit in but not fitting in ......kind of the way I have felt and then realizing that there are others that feel that way too. Well, he sang it and it was great.

All I kept thinking as I danced in the aisle was "I feel alive!!!"

A year ago, yes there were some good moments but I felt like just a shell of myself.  Last night, was just another time since I started this journey where I couldn't stop smiling and laughing and clapping and dancing.

When I went to my WW meeting today, I was down again at the scale.  But the fun part was my WW friends asking about the show and during our meeting I told the group the "I feel alive" story and I waved my glow stick from the concert which made everyone laugh.

While we were walking into the concert, I had to stop.  Jenn and Cheryl asked if I was OK.  I told the yes but I had to stop to pull my jeans up (notice a recurring them here about pants falling down , see one of my previous entries).  I was able to sit in my seat at the concert very nicely (something most of you never think about right?). And for a few hours I listened to songs I love and some brought back some great memories.

Well enough about Barry and me.....

The other good things about the week were......

My two counterparts from work and I got into one of the most hysterical text conversations I have ever been in.........last night my sister, Jenn and an old friend (boy) got into a facebook conversation that had Cheryl and I in tears laughing.  After a few minutes of craziness.....my sister said "OMG will anyone from you job see this??"  LOL I told her not to worry it was fine.  ( I can see you all now going to my FB page to try and  find the conversation....LOL).  Don't worry my two work com padres.....our text conversation will not be shared.......no,  it was not work related it was just total insanity!!!

Someone in the office stopped by to tell me she had noticed I was losing weight but the funny part was what she said.  "I notice you are wearing sandals not Crocs."  Funny the little things people notice......

While I am still healing physically from the years of wear and tear I have allowed my body to go through and still healing emotionally from they way I have thought of myself or allowed other the verbally abuse me........I know I have said it before......the old Donna is so coming back so watch out world and as my confidence returns, my sense of humor takes on new heights and the my dreams become realities......

I do love the beginning of Chapter 3 of my life.......who knew?? I didn't really think it would ever get better and now barely 8 1/2 months into the transformation and I feel surprised.........amazed........blessed.........happy...,,..grateful..............ALIVE..........but I haven't gotten this far without my support group........family and friends........my Sunday morning WW buddies who have so enriched and added to my life.......and of course there is always Jenn......encouraging me........monitoring me......and reminding me of how far I have come.........and I always need to remember she is the person who will be picking out my nursing home.

So here's to another new event for my books of lists........finally seeing Barry.

Here are two short clips from last night.....one is a corny song but says how I feel about all of you and the other is from the end of the show and  is how I am feeling on the inside (hint ...wait for the streamers.....)

See you next week......

It All Comes Down To Numbers.........

The number 60 is front and center for me.  I am very close to passing the 60 pounds lost mark.  I think I should hit it within the next few weeks.  I have lost more than 15% of my body weight.  I have taken 230 plus pounds of pressure off my poor knees.  And per my Dr it is more like 8 pounds of pressure per pound off my knees when walking down hill or down stairs.

Speaking of my Dr......my visit this week was all good news.  Blood work numbers rock!! He is thrilled with my weight loss and TOOK ME OFF ONE OF MY BLOOD PRESSURE MEDS!!!! He has me coming back in 3 months to see how that goes and may take me off something else. I went home with all the numbers and then did the tedious task of looking up each one and finding the normal range.  I was in the normal range for every one of them!!!!

I was going to hold out until I hit 75 pounds gone before I bought new slacks but I am giving in and buying a few pairs now. I found out this week I really can't wait.  I was walking out of the office and put my car keys in pants pocket.  All of a sudden my pants started to fall down.  Way down.....like sliding down past my butt.  Not that I don't still have a big butt but there is less and enough difference that I can't keep my pants up....LOL.  I am also going to look for just a few t shirts since the ones I am wearing now are swimming on me.  I am NOT buying much but enough to get me though the next 60 and then I will have to shop again.  And I am going to become a regular at the Good Will donation line when clothes start to get too big.

Please don't take this as bragging......that is absolutely not what I am doing.......I just am sharing my progress.

Basically, all the numbers that should go down are going down and the numbers that should go up are going up.......including my age......LOL......I am hanging on to the 50's for dear life....LOL....but in November I will have to face that new decade....ugh.......but I never thought I would head into that new number weighing less than I have in 20-25 years.......I never dreamt this could happen to me.........Chapter 3 is looking brighter........and healthier.......

See you next week..........

A Sneak Peak and Some Other Things.......

Last week, I wrote about the "Slush Fest" and how well the first page of my book was received.......well I have decided this week to share the first page with you too.....

OK here goes......minus the type "O's".....

Chapter One- How This Started

I guess you can blame it on the fact that my mother had died. When she was gone I felt lost. There were so many things going on in my life and I needed to make some new decisions. Writing a blog was one, putting myself first was another and  trying to look ahead toward Chapter 3.

Chapter 3 is all about me and my new adventures. And then I started to come up with the list. A list of things I have never done before but I decided it is time to do. Some of the items are simple like making a cheesecake, so more permanent such as a tattoo and some are just for pure fun such as renting the car of my dreams for a weekend.

When mom died she left each of her children a small amount of money. I could’ve used it to pay bills or for some other practical purpose but I didn’t. I decided I would not spend the money until I found a special reason or purpose of which I thought my mother would approve. I think she would approve of the list…….

At first I thought I would start with 12 new experiences but then I thought why limited it to 12. I am not looking at it as a bucket list but rather as a Donna wants to do list. A bucket list is tasks you want to do before you die. The Donna list is things I want to do to feel alive.

So there you have it....your little peak into one of the books I am writing........

The "some other things" part of my entry has to do with a few things that happened this week......

I went to have blood work done.  The chair you sit in has an arm that is "supposed" to go down in front of you.  In the past that would never work with me.  But this time the arm went down in front of me with room to spare!!!

I spent over 2 hours working with Jenn out in the yard today.  I hate yard work but for a change I was able to do it (with a few breaks due to my asthma and the fumes from the lawn mower).  The yard looked great when we were done!!

Friday night I didn't know what I wanted for dinner.  I ended up eating pineapple, grapes, some turkey pepperoni and 2 pieces of Weight Watcher string cheese.  Not the kind of choices I would have made before......

Once again it is Sunday night and I am cooking veggies.  It has become such a part of my routine and thank goodness I love them!!! I am going to try making a new kind of Weight Watcher cookies with oatmeal, peanut butter and banana's.  I will let you know if it is a success or not.

The scale did not move for me this week but that's OK.  It will move next week (come hell or high water)!!!!  My confidence continues to soar in a way that even surprises me.  And when you feel good you want to share your happiness.....for example today when we were leaving Aldi's there was an older lady (yes even older for me) walking across the parking lot wearing the most beautiful blue hat (robin's egg blue).  I stopped the car and Jenn put down the window and we told her how beautiful her hat was.  She smiled from ear to ear. It was a very brief encounter but it made her happy and us too....

I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday and instead of dreading it I am looking forward to it.  I am going in about 32 pounds lighter than I was when I went to see him in November and at that time I was down 24 pounds. I am hoping my blood work numbers rock and maybe he will take me off some med's.  And that is the point of all this......to get healthier.  I do like being able to wear clothes in smaller sizes but knowing I will be around longer to enjoy them and Chapter 3 is what I am really focused on......

I hope you all have a great Memorial Day and we should all remember what the day is really about.......so THANK YOU to all those who served and are now gone.....the gift of freedom they gave us is priceless......GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!

See you next week........

Slush, Repairs, Relaxation, Loss

I am sure you are confused by that title.....LOL......but it will make sense by the time you have finished reading this entry.

Relaxation-  I took Friday and Monday off as PTO (paid time off).  It was lovely to have a few days off for me. The main reason I had taken off was the South Carolina Book Festival was in Columbia over the weekend.  I was like a little kid looking forward to Christmas.  I got up early Friday, showered and relaxed. I was going by Jenn's office and she would drop me at the Convention Center so I didn't have to hassle with parking and pick me up when my sessions were over. It was so nice not to rush......so relaxing.........so relaxing I fell asleep.  I woke up at 10:50!!!!! I was supposed to leave the house at 10:45!!! Now, I had to run around like a crazy woman.  Got dressed still half groggy....where the hell was my notebook......where was the bag I was bringing my stuff in.....where was my water bottle and grapes and yogurt???? I race out of the house at 11:07 and called Jenn to let her know I was on my way.  My first class started at 11:30.  I made it to Jenn's office by 11:20.  I took a road I thought would be quicker.....nope....a detour.  We pulled up in front of the convention center at 11:29.  I raced (OK raced for me) to the meeting room and asked where I checked in.  The lady at the door said just go in they are just starting.  Whew!!!
'
Repairs- Saturday, while I was running errands......it happened......one of those damn dashboard lights went on......one I didn't recognize.  Off to see my good friends at Goodyear.  3 hours and $340 later the car was repaired.  I couldn't complain too much since the part alone cost almost $200.

Loss-  I made the mistake on Thursday of getting on a scale other than the one at WW and it showed I was up. Big mistake!!! I should only weigh myself on one scale to be consistent.  I ended up stressing for the next 2 days.  Fortunately, I was down enough to get to the 56 pound mark!! This is the least I have weighed in 17 years........but as always my disclaimer is I have along way to go.  While I am not a big fan of the number 60 (for reasons I will NOT discuss.....I am in total denial until November...LOL)....I am looking forward to the 60 pound mark which I will hopefully hit within the next few weeks or so.

Slush- OK not the kind you can buy at 7-11..... on Sunday at the Book Festival I had a brand new experience a Slush Fest. What happens is you give in one page of a novel you are writing,  You do not put your name in it.  There are 4 authors sitting at a dais in the front of the room.  One reads the one page entry OUT LOUD and each author raises their hand when they do not want to hear anymore.  They each then critique the writing.  Talk about nerve wracking!!! I have never done anything like that before so I didn't know what to expect.  I felt like I was going to get sick as they read each selection.  My heart was racing.  I wanted to leave the room but felt glued to my chair.  After several selections had been read, the lady doing the reading read mine.  I waited and waited to see when each of the members of the dais would raise their hands to stop reading......no one raised their hand and she finished reading the whole page I had given in.  The feedback was that it was well written, interesting, intriguing, they wanted to know what would happen next and watch my type"o"'s.I had brought page one of my book with the working title "The List".  I can't describe to you how amazing it felt to hear that feedback (and it's not that they were so positive with everyone....in fact for some they were very critical but did try to find something good to say).......mine review as all positives!!! I have always thought I wrote well but to hear 4 authors concur with my thoughts and feelings made me feel great.  I am a writer.......

OK a few things I did learn.....they said jokingly.....only one exclamation point per novel, the average novel is about 80,000 words long, don't assume because you know your characters that your reader will so you have to be clear in dialog and self-publishing isn't a bad idea.  So much to think about and learn.

A few crazy days that when by in a blur......and except for the car issue.....all good things.  (I would end with an exclamation point but I have already exceeded the limit in this entry that would be allowed for several novels).

See you next week........