Why can’t the world just stop?

My father told me that when he got the call his father had passed away it was early in the morning.

He went to his mother’s apartment to give her the news.

As he was heading there, people were passing him going in the other direction toward the subway.

My Dad said he thought “Can’t you all stop?  My father died.”

Of course, none of the people passing him were aware of how my dad’s world had changed that morning.

Off they went to work.

My Mom passed on January 1st. 

I went to work on January 2nd.

I did get some strange looks at the office.

I am sure my coworkers thought “What is she doing here? Her Mom just died.”

Mom’s memorial service was not going to be for several weeks while we waited for the weather to improve for travel and a funeral.

I didn’t want to sit home and I wanted to keep busy.

It made sense to me.

Now,  the whole world is filled with craziness.

The issues going on in our country are too many to list but just buzz words like inflation, gas prices, Afghanistan, supply chain, defunding the police, crime surges, CRT are enough to make our heads spin, empty our wallets and break our hearts.

And now the Ukraine.

Half a world away.

The people of the Ukraine are fighting for their lives and their freedom, while a madman has decided to take over their country.

The President of the Ukraine is the definition of courage.  He is taking a stand and is facing his enemy in a defiant stance.

Seeing someone strong enough to say NO, you will not just take over my country. Bravo!!!!!

My memory may be somewhere fuzzy but I do remember a childhood where we had drills where we hid under our desks with our hands and arms covering our heads.  There were “fallout shelter” signs attached to the outside of apartment buildings.

Fear of invasion.

Maybe it’s the rose colored glasses I would prefer to wear but I also remember a childhood where I was not fearful.  My parents would keep me safe.

The adults I knew were called Mr. and Mrs. due to respect.

I was raised to believe I was lucky enough to live in the greatest country in the world.

As a young adult, I felt good that one of my favorite Presidents, Ronald Reagan, could lead with  a conservative mindset.  The Speaker of the House was Tip O’Neal, a Democrat.  Two different parties but at the end of the day, they could end it having a few drinks together.

Not hatred.

I had respect for the Office of the President, even if I didn’t agree with the person who held the office.

I have no respect for the current person residing in that office.

He has done more damage in 13 months than I thought possible.

We have gone from being (in my opinion) the greatest country in the world to a paper lion since Jan 20, 2021.

The ugliness on both sides of the aisle makes me sad.

When President Trump delivered his State of the Union address, Nancy Pelosi took great pride in tearing his speech into pieces on camera.  How would she feel or what would she say if a Republican did that on camera?

She would be offended and be very vocal about it.

How sad and how far have we fallen.

I understand why my Dad said that early morning of August 1963 when he wanted the world to stop even if just for a few minutes.

I would like a few minutes of my childhood back.  Going out to play until the street lights went on or my mother yelled from the 5th story window (this was normal for our Bronx neighborhood).

Only paying attention to the news on TV when Walter Cronkite came on the screen to deliver the news.  Not his interpretation of the news.. He gave us the facts and not his opinion, this is nonexistent in our world today.

I lived in a world where our parents held a tight rein on us and had certain expectations. And if we didn’t follow the rules, there were repercussions for our actions.

I look at some of the college students whose views differ from mine and who hate this country and I think what happened?

Is this the result of the “participation award” generation?  Is this the result of parents no longer using the word NO? Is this the result of not holding children accountable?

Poor Jenn, each time I see some behavior from young people speaking or acting in ways of which I do not approve, I say to her, if that were you behaving like that you would be on the next bus back home and college would be over for you.

I am tired of being categorized as a racist.

I am tired of the ugliness.

I am tired of the hatred.

But I am also fearful of all the craziness and hatred of which I have no control.

I cannot solve the world’s problems.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel at least for us as a country, it starts November 8th with the mid-term elections.

Time to take our country back folks.

Let’s get our act together.

Pray for the people of the Ukraine!

Pray for our country!

God Bless America!

See you next week.

Some things about the weekend

 I make my best effort to sign off at 5:00 on the dot on Friday so I can start my weekend.

Friday, right after work, is the time for errands.

Pick up a pizza.

Stop at CVS for prescriptions (I didn’t have time this week to start moving my med’s to Publix).

Stop at Walmart for the items that the Instacart shopper couldn’t get at Publix.

Instacart pickup at Publix.

Home to unpack and call it a day.

Pull in the driveway by 7:30.

Saturday, rise a little later than during the week.

Take a shower and then relax.

Watch the two episodes of “The Magnificent Mrs. Maisel” that finally dropped on  Netflix.

Take a few power naps.

Sunday morning spent in the kitchen getting meals ready for the week and the freezer.

BY the time we are done, we have prepared enough chicken for 6 meals, 24 mini meatloaves for the freezer, assembled a Weight Watcher lasagne to go in the crockpot tomorrow morning for dinner tomorrow night, a pound cake and a banana bread baked, also made a deviled egg salad.

Jenn is also great at keeping up with the pots and pans. So the kitchen is clean when we are done and all the food is packed away.

By 12:30, Jenn is in the car heading to the landfill and I head to the shower.

When Jenn gets back she switches out our February/Valentines Day decorations for March/Saint Patrick’s Day flags, plates, tablecloths, etc.

We watch “It’s A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood”. It was a good movie.

While I didn’t grow up in the Mr. Rogers generation, Jennifer did.

She was able to share a lot of the background about Mr, Roger’s and his show of which I was not aware.

He was a man with great faith and an amazing sense of positivity.

It gave me a new perspective on him.

While doing all of this Jenn started and completed a new project for me. It took her 14 hours !

A lego typewriter for me, the writer.

All 2079 pieces and if you hit the keys the letter bar moves to make the key strokes and the paper feeder rolls too.

In the last few weeks we have added a few new things I love.

My Mom’s dream car (which is quite the opposite of my dad’s which was a Corvetter LOL).

A VW van the reminds me of my Ohana.

And this red VW bus has two hippies in it.  I always think I would like to have been a hippie but I think it was about the dress and the hair.   Plus George Raboni would not have tolerated it.  

Here is  how some of them look on my hutch with the infamous. Red truck which in the back will be things to celebrate each month.

  

These little touches make me happy and that’s all that matters.

Just one more thing, my Dad was born on 2/22/33.  He would have turned 89 this week.  He has been gone 37 years.  I was 29 when he left us. I told Jenn today it is hard to believe I have lived more than half my life without him.  But I can still see him so clearly and would recognize his voice in a second.  I miss you Dad each and every day.

See you next week.

Can someone please explain this to me?

I do not think I am the brightest bulb on the tree.

But I am also  not an idiot.

Let’s talk about health insurance.

Up until 65, you select your health coverage from the options offered by your employer.

To me this was pretty simple.  

I am not a gambler.

I would pick the most expensive health plan with the best coverage.

Easy.

Then you enter the year you are going to turn 65.

The mail starts rolling in.

Lots of mail.

Some from the government and some from companies offering supplemental coverage.

You sign up for Medicare Part A at no cost (well it really costs but you have been paying for it the last 40 plus years you have been working).

You make some inquiries to the appropriate government agencies without getting any clarity.

I was still employed so I did not also sign up for Part B since I had coverage from my employer.

Then,  I quit my job.

Now I had no coverage except the Part A.

I am referred to a local company to assist me.  They are great.

BUT, I have to get Part B coverage before I can get supplemental coverage or prescription coverage.

This process takes a while since I have to get proof from my two previous employers to ensure Medicare that I had coverage.

Otherwise, you pay penalties and Part B can cost you more.

Sigh…..

After phone call after phone call and email after email, I finally get the paperwork I need.

I send it in and finally get Part B coverage.

I also now fee like I can leave my house without fear of getting hurt.  

What would happen and what would it cost me without coverage.

Plus, the word COVID kept circling my head.

I told Jenn until my coverage was in place, I would only leave the house wrapped in bubble wrap.

I get my supplemental coverage and prescription coverage.

Let’s see so Part B was $140 and is now $170 as of January 1st.

Supplemental $126 and prescription $26.

That each a month.

Still Ok, I am good to go.

I go to get my preventive inhaler (which I use twice a day).

I am told it will cost me $175 a month.

I reach out to my Dr. to see if there is a cheaper option (now I am feeling old).

He sends in a request for another inhaler which with Good RX should cost $36.

WIN !!

I go to CVS and they tell me it’s $106.  

Really??

After a lengthy conversation, they figure out they have to remove my insurance and just use Good RX and it will cost $36.

So I have to remove my insurance to get this inhaler cheaper?

No one can explain why.

Next, Publix comes to my Community Center for a Shingles Shot Clinic.

I sign up for the first shot.

Publix calls me to let me know I will have to pay $174 for each shot.

I call CVS and it will cost $195 a shot from them.

I decide it is worth the $350 combined to get the two shots versus taking a chance of getting Shingles.

With all of my coverages, I thought I would get off with zero cost.

Nope.

As with everyone else, the 2 COVID shots and booster were free.

My flu shot was free.

I “assumed” with all of my coverages, my cost would be minimal.

NOT.

I can’t wait to see what my other med’s will cost.

Will I need to use my Part B or supplemental or perscription coverage? 

Will I need to remove my insurance and just use Good RX.

Oh and to add insult to injury, CVS is going to stop accepting Good RX. That means I am going to have to transfer my med requests to Publix.

Can you understand my confusion???

See you next week!

Music of my life (or moments that grab you part two)

When I heard about the half time performers for this year’s Super Bowl, I told Jenn, I have no idea who any of them are.

I would have to go back pretty far to say I know or enjoyed any of the half time acts.

Probably back to Michael Jackson in 1993.

That’s pretty much me and music, kind of out of step.

I was getting ready to high school the summer of Woodstock.  

I was oblivious to it and the artists. 

I didn’t live that far from Max Yasgur’s farm (the land on which the concert took place).

Less than 100 miles….

It could have been a million miles, it wouldn’t have made a difference.

A lot of the kids I went to high school with went to concerts.

A lot of concerts.

I grew up on the music or Sinatra, Tony Bennett, Joni James and the Big Bands. That was my parents music.

I was pretty young when The Beatles became the rage.

I was  a huge Beatle fan.

Most of the music I liked was kind of mellow or folk music.

I like songs without digging in and understanding their meanings.

I didn’t think that “Blowing In the Wind” might be a protest song.

I just liked the words and melody.

Peter, Paul and Mary, Simon and Garfunkel, Carly Simon…..

But there was still Sinatra singing “New York, New York” after Yankee games.

My concert experience ranges from the Eagles to Billy Joel to Barry Manilow to NKOTB.

My guilty pleasure was disco music. 

And then there is Broadway music.

I was lucky enough to see a lot of Broadway musicals and would play the music over and over again after seeing a show.

Favorite songs vary from Muppet song “Rainbow Connection” to “Puff the Magic Dragon” to “Make Your Own Kind of Music”.

Now, I turn on the radio I am clueless.

Sad.

Last week, i left two items off my list.

I wanted to correct that oversight today.

In my humble opinion, I always thought Lady Gaga was a bit of a nut.

Then a few years ago, the Oscars paid tribute to the 50th anniversary of “The Sound of Music”.

Lady Gaga sang a few of the songs from the musical.

She was amazing and blew my mind.

Super talented.

The other item I left off the list was, The National Anthem sung by Whitney Houston.

I doubt I will ever hear a rendition better than when she sang it at the Super Bowl back in 1991.

Moving, chilling and gave me goosebumps.

The way I love hearing it sung.

What about you?  Tell me a favorite song or two of yours so I can expand my musical horizon.

See you next week.

Moments that grab you…..

There are times when you watch something on TV and it stays with you.  

We even go back and rewind and watch it again and again.

They can be sad, joyful or sentimental moments.

Watching Kevin Costner walk out of the rows of corn last summer with the music from “Field of Dreams” playing in the background. Goosebumps….

Seeing an old YouTube clip of Betty White at the AFI tribute to Morgan Freeman,  Hilarious….

Alphonso Ribeiro doing “The Carlton” on DWTS.  Pure fun…..

The playback of the Space Shuttle.  Shock….

Eli Manning avoiding the Patriot defense to throw a pass to David Tyree (who caught it with the help of his helmet).  Hard to watch with my eyes closed…LOL.

And this week, watching an astounding sea of blue stand outside Saint Patrick’s Cathedral  in the cold and snow.  Respect….

Knowing the process will have to be repeated again this week.  Heartbreaking….

Listening to the words of a young widow. Awe….

As you can see I have felt a full range of emotions as I watched these events.

From exhilaration to incredible sadness, I felt the full spectrum.

They stay in my head and heart.

Snapshots of life and loss.

The reminders of our current world and times past.

The fact that I can still feel my pulse racing as I watch a clip of an old Super Bowl or shed tears for a life lost too soon of a heroic young man doing a challenging job.

Life has it’s highs and it’s lows….this week and next week will remind us of the lows but also of pride and respect.

I hope to see something soon that gives me a good feeling again.

I can be patient, it will happen.

See you next week.

The after Christmas blues….

There is always that time for me after the holidays, when all the decorations are packed away when I feel kind of blah. 

I do have tablecloths, plates, flags, etc for every month of the year but especially love the “BER” months.

Which would you rather look at ?

Or this?

Kind of a letdown.  But only 10 months until it all goes up again.

This difference in the house from December to January is so stark.  I started to look around to focus on what I have out all year round that makes me happy.

So here they are in no particular order.

Two puzzles Jenn completed and framed for me.  Great gifts !

Once is all about my favorite food, CHEESE !

The other is called Writers Paradise.

If I look around my living room, I can look at three more of my loves, a lighthouse, Christmas tree and a pineapple.

Lighthouses are one of my obsessions, I just love looking at them.  I have a collection of them and books about them.  Among the books is one of my favorites from when I was young, “The Little Red Lighthouse And The Great Gray Bridge”.

Christmas Tree’s, no explanation needed there.

Pineapples remind me of Mom and my Hawaiian heritage.

Jenn also got me a very cool canvas that makes me think of my Ohana.

And then I have the over 1600 piece Lego truck Jenn patiently assembled for me.  It has items to put in the back of the truck for spring, summer, fall and winter.  A red truck that doesn’t have to go away,  A red truck for all seasons.

While they may not provide the excitement associated with Christmas, they are constants that give me joy.

Little things like these are the reason I write in my journal five good things about each day. Some days, the five entries are so easy I could write them before noon.  Other days, it is a challenge to get that fifth entry done. I can get pretty desperate and come up with something nonsensical.  

So while, I might feel sad that all the lights, ornaments and garland are packed away until next November, I still have other things to look at that make me smile.

Whether it be one of the items in the photos above or a sunrise or sunset or a really good cup of coffee, we all have things in our lives each day that give us joy.  

We just need to stop and smell the roses and look for them.

And by my best estimate, I only have about 280 days until I can decorate again.  In case you are trying to figure out the date it is November 1st.

Until then  these will have to suffice.

Yes, I still keep these up.  I just can’t totally let Christmas go…..

See you next week.

 

The things we don’t take time to think about but have prayed about.

 Jenn gave me this for Christmas.

Many times when our prayers are answered, we give thanks and move on.

I think it is human nature to move on the the next thing we need or want.

When I was young, the list was pretty was pretty simple. A blue BIC pen, a package of Kleenex tissues, an Easy Bake Oven and being lucky enough to have maybe a dollar in my pocket for a 45 I wanted or a treat from the counter at Woolworths.

My parents made sure we had the necessities.  Luxuries came fewer and far between.  

We were not unique in terms of needs vs luxuries.  Most Dad’s worked a second job.  My Dad worked for an insurance company during the day, went to school at night (6 years for college and 4 years for law school) and he drove a cab on weekends.

As I got older, the wants changed.  A pair of bell bottoms, gas for the Pinto that I shared with my brother, cigarettes (I quit over 30 years ago), and $2 for the cover to get into my favorite bar to dance all night with my friends.

You move along in life and again the wants change.

A job in the city, getting married, buying a house and having a family now make it to the top of the list.

I was lucky enough as I got older to get most of what I wanted.

I was pretty practical.  I wore the same clothes over and over, but then again I was never a clothes horse.

I always drove my cars until they died. 

Money was still tight. I remember my first Christmas married to Bob, we were pretty broke.

We went to Caldors (it was a poor mans Target).  We each had $100 to shop.  Off we went in separate directions with our shopping carts to see what we could buy each other.  It is funny when you don’t have a lot of money how creative you can be.  Nice memory.

You buy a house and your $239 monthly rent for your apartment becomes an $1100 mortgage payment (rates were 12% then and add on the escrows…yikes).  Some how you make the payment each month.

Then you have a child and your priorities change again.

The cost of day care and diapers can really take a hit on your budget.

One of you loses a job while unemployment is at a high.  You somehow scrape by until the other party finds a job.

We juggled the bills.  I used to hate Sunday’s because that was the day I had to figure out how to pay the bills.  It was robbing Peter to pay Paul.

The the house of cards collapses and you have no choice, bankruptcy.

It was awful and embarrassing.  We were able to keep our house. Thank goodness.

A wise friend shows up and starts to give you the hard talk and tough advice.  You listen and learn.

You pray.

Does it make sense to stay in NY, can you send your daughter to college in NY and can you afford to retire in NY? When all the answers are no it is time for a reality check.

You sell your house and move 700 miles away to a place you have only visited for a weekend.

It is the first time in years, I felt  like I could breathe.

During all of these years there were prayers.  Sometimes the answers came quickly.  Other times it took a while.  Sometimes, the answers were not what I wanted to hear.

I always said I was born in NY and I would die there.  It was not easy to leave but I knew selling the house and moving was an answer to my prayers.

The move to South Carolina ended up being the right decision.

Although I missed my family, I felt like I had been given a fresh start.

We moved into an apartment and within two years were having a house built.

Jenn was able to go away of college.

We were able to budget for a newer car.

Once again though here come the curveballs.

Your spouse gets cancer not once but twice.  You get through it both times but you have both changed. 

The best decision is to part after 35 plus years.

Divorce is best for both of you  

You feel like a failure.  You are embarrassed. Your pray. 

Now come the new prayers,  how do I do this alone, can I make ends meet on just my salary and all the other unknowns in front of you.

You pray.

And here is where I am at, I love where I live, I bought a new car (a few years ago), Jenn’s student loans have been paid off and after a four month break, I am back at work.

Prayers answered.

I have what I need, I really don’t have many wants except maybe to make sure I am financially secure the next time I try retirement.

I pray to have good health.  

I pray for more time to enjoy life.

I pray to get over my fears regarding being out socially due to COVID.

I pray about my fear of falling.

I pray for my hips and knees not to ache.

I pray to make wise choices for my diet (right now, I have cooked asparagus, green beans and vegetable soup in the fridge).

I no longer have to pray for the money for the BIC pen or bell bottoms or the monthly commuter train ticket to the city or the American Girl doll I couldn’t afford to get Jenn until she was 30 vs 7 or 8 like her friends or college tuition.

Not all of my prayers were answered in the affirmative.  Tough times, tough choices.

But as Jenn’s gift says, “I still remember the days I prayed for the things I have now”.

I am trying more to remember the blessing I have been given and give thanks.

There is nothing I would change even during the hard and painful times. I needed to go through those times to get where I am today.

And where I am today, is where I am supposed to be.

Prayers answered for sure.

See you next week!