Farewell to 2022

“Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot and days of auld lang syne?”

Time to get ready to start singing this song.  (When I do, I think of “It’s A Wonderful Life” or “When Harry Met Sally”).

I have always thought of Memorial Day Weekend as a quick march to the end of the year.

5 weeks from now it’s July 4th (another long weekend YAY).

7 weeks after that is Labor Day Weekend (another long weekend YAY).

Just 4 weeks later, I am shopping for a pumpkin for the front porch.

31 days to Halloween (and for us Hallmark Christmas Movie lovers, the Countdown to Christmas movies start 24/7 on October 21st!!).

I already have my Hallmark Ornament book available to start perusing the pages and get my order in during July.

I have already started thinking about what to give my team for Christmas.

Well after Halloween, it’s just 24 days until Thanksgiving (and my birthday this year).

4 weeks later, MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!

7 days later, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Start singing that song.

I know there are those of you who think my year round obsession for Christmas is just a little crazy. 

Why am I crazy to adore a time when at least for a little while the world seems just a little happier and peaceful and is filled with warm memories, special decorations, time with family and friends (if not in person then in our minds and hearts).

What is so wrong with taking one special day and celebrating it 365 times?

I have already selected the pictures for our Christmas card this year.

How nice is it in May to already think of this year as a good one for me.  

But sorry folks, it is what it is, the days are dwindling down and the year is almost done.

Remember the real reason we celebrate Memorial Day and give thanks to those who gave their lives in order that we could live ours.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year too !!

See you next week!

PS the view I fall asleep to every night and wake up to each morning  

A painful admission

I have admitted that some not all my struggles are from the pre-COVID-COVID-kind of post COVID world.

Pre-COVID, there was the arthritis in my knees and hips. I would try and push through the pain but at times it was easier to limit my movements.  Walking with a slight limp.  I truly believe one of my legs is shorter than the other which leads to the limp. My knees tend to lock when I walk as they adjust to the difference in the length of my legs.  I walk kind of stilted, like Frankenstein.

Add to this my asthma, I use a preventive inhaler each day, twice a day.

Still, I would push through as best I could.

Then came COVID, which kept  us all home.

It is amazing how quickly, we can (or I can adjust to staying home).

Home became my cocoon.

The hard part is you don’t realize how quickly you can get used to not going out except for groceries and vaccines/booster (Flu shot, two COVID shots and one booster, two shingle shots).

At least easy for me.

But maybe too easy.

I feel safe in my home.  I am careful as I walk so as to not fall/trip which we all know has been historically a problem for me (broken arm/20 plus stitches in my face).

I also have come to realize mentally, I have allowed my world to get smaller.

Fear of strange places, fear of long walks to places, fear of my asthma kicking into gear unexpectedly.

Do you see a recurring theme?

No, I am not crazy.

I have just allowed my fears to take over.

When I was still going to the office a few days a week, I was able to push through.

Once the office closed, things changed.

I will not be going back into the office which is good.  The commute was long and exhausting and now would be super expensive.

So I am put in a position to “heal myself”.

I don’t think I realized how bad things had gotten until at one point it dawned on me I hadn’t left the house in two weeks.

Two weeks!

Now, I make a point of going out once a week to run errands with Jenn. I do the driving she does the running.

But it does get me out.

I had been out to dinner back in November with Jenn and my pal, Kathy but nothing since then except errands and driving to Columbia to get my hair cut and colored.

I know I can’t spend my life in this cocoon or could I?

In small steps, I need to start to fight back.

Kathy called and asked if Jenn and I wanted to meet her, her sister and brother-in-law for lunch on Saturday.

I told her I would call her back.

I called and told her we could meet at the Pub on the island where I live.

Then the anxiety kicked in.

I spent the next day and a half stressing about it.

I woke up Saturday thinking maybe I should cancel.

I knew if I did cancel it would make going out again that much harder.

I took something to calm me down.

I told Jenn I really couldn’t talk about my anxiety and kept my responses to Jenn who was trying to make conversation with me short.

To add to the challenge I had to blow dry my hair and put on make-up.

When home, towel drying my hair suffices but it is not good enough to be out in public.

I had to lay out my makeup on the bathroom counter the same way a surgeon lays out their instruments. Once the counter was empty, i knew I had put everything on.  I did have to think about the order in which I used each item.

Finally, it was time to go.  My heart was racing.

I hadn’t been to the Pub since December 2019 due to COVID and yes me.

We got there early, Jenn dropped me off and I sat in one of the chairs in front.

Jenn parked the car and came to assist me.

We went up the stairs oh so slowly.

Then I grabbed the railing and Jenn’s arm.

Walking slowly, very slowly.  Calculating each step.

I was counting each step out loud (a new habit I have developed).

As we got close to the front door, Natalie, from the front desk came out to hold the door for assistance.

I was spent by then.

She offered me a chair and a glass of water.

My breathing became normal and my heart stopped racing.

Jenn and Vanessa, our server, helped me to our table.

I made it!

After a long lunch with a ton of conversation and laughter it was time to leave.

Once again my nerves acted up as I thought of the long walk back to the car,

I walked with assistance to the lobby and waited while Jenn got the car.

Vanessa gave me a cup of water in a travel cup.

Out the door we went, Jenn, Natalie, Vanessa and me.  Talk about a parade.

I took each step slowly and only had to stop twice to catch my nervous breath.

The stairs were taken at a slow pace, one foot down then the other over and over again.

I got in the car and a waive of relief hit me.

Vanessa and Natalie applauded me and said “you keep going, you keep pushing, you did great”.

Jenn just said “I told you you could do it”.

My first real foray out in a long time.

I will continue to push myself because now the community pool is open without the restrictions that had been in place last two years (one of which was the pool was totally close in 2020).

It has been hard to admit to these fears but I needed to be honest with myself and all of you.

I found a chair yoga website that I am going to use which I think will help me with movement, endurance and balance.

And it is heading into my favorite season of great fruits and vegetables to help with my refocus on healthy eating and weight reduction.

Yesterday, was a victory for me!

I won the battle!

I did not let my fears stop me.

And from here I can continue to take baby steps forward until I hit my stride.

Please do not think I am crazy or have lost my mind.

I am the same friendly, smart, funny person I have ways been just carrying a little extra mental baggage of which I am trying to free myself.

Each step I took yesterday while I was counting the steps was really a rally cry of victory as I escape my fears of leaving home.

Good for me!

Way to go Donna1

Let’s see what challenge I face next.

See you next week!

Not much direction in my thoughts this week

Here I go, a blog entry with no direction.

I’ve got nothing.

Or maybe its the exact opposite, I am all over the place.

Just read on and see what I mean.

I was really angry this week watching the news. The events had me upset and in tears out of frustration.

I have stopped looking at my 401K as my retirement savings disappear with each bad day at the stock market.

I envy watching people walk with ease as my arthritis makes anything of the than short distances a challenge.  

It can be depressing to think walking through stores or into buildings can cause me pain.

On the very up side, I am loving my job.

Being back in management.

I inherited a fantastic team.

I have made more decisions in the last three weeks as manager than I did in the six months of my previous stint.

I enjoy the banter between my sales partners and me.  I can be frank or funny or use colorful language in our conversations.

I also get to laugh.

I am also incredibly grateful for the path God took me down the last year.

The way I view my job now versus last year is a total 180.

We all still have lessons to learn and continue to grow.

I find joy in waking up each day.

I love eating Hamburger salad for lunch (with 98% fat free ground turkey).

Red seedless grapes are tasting so sweet right now.  No tartness at all.

Knowing my grocery bill is climbing and the sizes of the items are getting smaller frustrates me.

Yesterday, I purchased a little over two gallons of gas for almost $10!!

In the scheme of things these are not huge issues compared to people trying to find formula for their babies.

Through all the craziness, the sun rises and sets each day.  The tides change as it follows the fullness of the moon and it waxes and wanes.

And we aways have God to turn to in times of worry and praise and joy and thanks.

Thankfully that never changes  

See you next week!

When I was a kid

As a kid:

We had 7 channels on our TV.

The TV stations shut off at night and there was a test pattern on the TV screen.

The TV stations started the day by playing The National Anthem.

My brother and I, so desperate to watch TV,  we would watch Sunrise Semester and Modern Farmer at 5AM or 6AM. 

My Dad would send us to the corner store occasionally to test tubes from the TV in hopes of avoiding the dreaded visit from the TV Repairman.

And horror of horrors, we only had one TV in our apartment.

We didn’t have a color TV until I was a Sophomore in high school.

Picture that now.

In the beginning, my parents did not have a TV or a telephone.  When I became very sick when I was two months old, my Dad had to go to a neighbors apartment to ask if he could use their phone to call the Dr..

Picture that now.

Doctors still made house calls.  Dr, Greenstein showed up, examined me on the kitchen table and then went to the apartment next door to call the hospital and tell them he was bringing me in.

My Mom said she heard him say,  “ I am bringing in a sick child….no beds open?  Well, get the damn kids with a broken arm out of their bed because I will be there in a few minutes.”  

The visit probably cost $5.  Then the Doctor drove my Dad and me to the hospital.

Picture that now.

When I was a kid, a visit to the Bronx Zoo on their free admission days was such fun and cheap.

The first movie I even saw was “Tom Thumb”.  I am not sure what it cost but in those days you could stay and watch a movie a second time without paying or even a third time.

Picture that now.

There were trucks that drove around neighborhoods with rides on them.  They cost, maybe 5 or 10 cents for a few minutes of entertainment.

Sometimes, I didn’t have the 5 or 10 cents so I would stand and watch the kids longingly.

Picture that now.

During the week, instead of going to a supermarket, there was always the neighborhood deli to get something we might need.

Mom would toss out a clothespin out our apartment window with a piece of paper and money all clipped together.

The note would say something like, 1 box of Ronzoni #17 (which indicted what kind of pasta it was) or one piece of American Cheese about 1/2 pound (which meant macaroni and cheese was for dinner. I would love when Mom would grate up the cheese and we kids could have a few pieces).

When we would go to the deli, we would stop at the corner and wait for an adult to come by and ask them to take us across the street.

Picture that now.

We didn’t have a chance to get bored, Mom would say “go call for someone”.  Which meant “go find a friend and play until I call you in for dinner”.

When I was a kid, there were no IPADS, Xboxes, play stations. 

When I was a kid, there weren’t a zillion cable stations to watch hours on end.

When I was a kid, you called adults Mr. and Mrs. or if they were close family friend Aunt and Uncle.

When I was s kid, you showed respect to adults, our teachers and police officers.

When I was a kid, life seemed easier, less complicated and never dull.

When I was a kid, we appreciated everything we were given. Although I will now freely admit I hated the Oxford shoes I had to wear to school.  As Mom said, they were a sensible, sturdy shoe that never wore out.

When I was a kid, my school book covers were made from brown paper bags not those fancy types that had a plastic coat over them with cool pictures.

When I was a kid, we didn’t always have the coolest lunchbox (although one year I did get one that had was labeled “stewardess” with a picture of a plane and a lovely young lady in her uniform). Most times it was a plain brown bag on which Mom had written “Donna Raboni Class 3-G” just in case my lunch bag and I got separated. I would look at the “rich” kids in the hot lunch line and think someday….

I look back on those years of my youth and think I was so lucky.

When I was a kid, I was aware we were not rich and money was tight but we were no different than most families I knew.

When I was a kid, life was uncomplicated.

When I was a kid, I felt secure and loved.

I feel lucky to have grown up the way I did, when I was a kid.

See you next week.

PS I am sure some of you have figured out how much fun I am having with Bitmoji these last few weeks LOL.  I even changed my outfit to something I would normally wear, a v neck t shirt and crocs. I should put myself in shorts but no reason to scare my audience LOL

A Comfy Old Pair Of Slippers

Comfy clothes, comfort foods, familiarity and feeling at home.

Picture at the beginning of the day, move your legs over the side of the bed.  Your feet slide into your favorite, old, kind of beaten up pair of slippers.

They wrap your feet in warmth and softness. 

The slippers make you smile.

A well worn (or just plain old) sweater. You wrap it around yourself like a hug.

A warm bowl of oatmeal, a fresh homemade soup or let’s admit it macaroni and cheese, they all fit into the comfort food category. Although, I have to admit I use some butter and salt on top of my oatmeal, yum.

They make your taste buds sing.

This is how I felt this week returning to my old job.

It’s not that it was a stress free week.

I had to clear some cobwebs out of my brain.

But slowly, it started to click.

I felt my first team huddle went well.

I felt a renewed confidence in my decisions to questions I was asked.

I felt like I had come home.

I was lucky enough to be able to come back to TD.

And then through a fortunate turn of events end up back in my Underwriting Manager role.

The journey of the last year taught me some lessons.  All that glitters isn’t gold. 

The four months I was not working were challenging. 

I ended up on a quest that took me in a big circle back to where I started.

Who knew? God did. He had a plan.

I read this week, do not pray just for a new job. Pray about the people you will work with, pray about your work environment and pray that your will be happy and excited about what you do each day.

Pray to feel passionate about the job.

Keep in the back of your head that the job is a job, it is not your life.

Life takes priority.  This is why I say life/work balance not work/life balance.

As I sit here and think about my first week back, I feel like I have had the comfort food, worn the scruffy slippers and felt the comfort of my sweater hug.

The travels of the last year have provided me with a greater sense of what is good and what I value. If I hadn’t made the decision to leave last year, there is no way I could appreciate what I have now.

I have returned and there is no place like home.

See you next week.

 

The magic of a simple cardboard box

As I think back on my childhood, I think about the imagination that were part of each day.

We did not have a toy box.  We had two large cardboard boxes that once held toilet paper delivered to a neighborhood supermarket.

As kids, we did not look at these boxes with embarrassment or shame. They were magical.  They held adventures.

The times we worked our way to the bottom of these huge boxes we found toys we hadn’t played with in a while almost seemed like new toys.

A piece of rope became a fishing line.  One of us would sit on the top bunk and the other would dig into the big boxes and tie something onto the end of a rope and yank the rope.  The person on the top bunk would see what they had “reeled” in.

An end table in the living room became “an office”.

A china tea set became part of an important dinner with a lot of “water” tea, a slice of bread became the the finest pastry.

A small chalkboard became a classroom.

When a smaller cardboard box was brought home it took on a new life.

We would draw wheels on the side and it became a car.  We would even draw a steering wheel on one of the flaps.  Seated in the box and off we would go.  We could drive anywhere.  The freedom of traveling in the neighborhood or to places far away.  Sometimes the cardboard box became a plane and flew us to foreign countries.

As we sat with Mom on the roof of our apartment building at “tar beach”, we would listen to the music from a transistor radio.  In our minds, we were at the beach enjoying the sun.  Mom watching us and enjoying the sun and drinking a cold Pepsi from a bottle.

As we grew up, a record player was added to the mix.  We could be the stars of Broadway shows from albums we collected or be Gladys Knight on the :Midnight Train to Georgia.  My addiction to musicals started in the 4th grade when we went to the Rivoli Theatre in “the city” to see “The Sound of Music”.  I so wanted to be “Sixteen Going On Seventeen.”.  I sang the songs over and over again.

The magic and imagination has never really gone away.  For my 16th birthday, my parents gave me tickets to my first Broadway Show.  I went to see “Fiddler On The Roof’.  It was mesmerizing.  I wanted to be on that stage.  Unfortunately, my singing skills were lacking except in the shower or into my hairbrush microphone.

Back to the magic.

When I learned to ride a bike, I was suddenly part of the “Tour de France” on the Bronx streets.

When we put baseball cards on the spokes of our bikes with clothespins holding them in place, we were riding motorcycles through the neighborhood.

When Jenn was young, she had not mastered the skill of jumping into a turning jump rope. And who wants to be the “steady ender”all the time (although I did not mind turning the rope for Double Dutch).  We resolved the issue with a trip to a local hardware store. We purchased a couple of yards of clothesline.  I tied one end to a tree and turned the other.  We worked at it and before she knew it, Jenn got the hang of it.  In fact, my Mom stopped by and showed Jenn her jumping skills.  It got even funnier when Uncle George stopped by in his police car and joined in the jump rope event.  I didn’t dare even try to explain to Jenn the intricacies of  “Double Dutch” which I had learned when I was young.

Anyway imagination, a rope or a spaldeen or a box or chalk could all lead to hours of fun, games and adventures.

I may be wrong but I don’t see this as much any more.  We have all of these electronics that entertain us all. 

Maybe it is because I am older but there still seems to be nothing better than a cardboard box, some clothesline, a small ball or some chalk to get the imaginative juices flowing.

Time to put down the IPAD and Iphone.  Put away the play station or Xbox.  Go outside and dream, create and see what happens.

Maybe that is one of the reasons I love to write, I can create, make believe and the possibilities are endless.

For example, the only note I wrote about this blog entry earlier in the week was “ a cardboard box” and look at where it took me…..

See you next week.

PS I wrote a few weeks ago about courage.  I included information about LJ.  LJ, a 6 year old with DIPG (Diffuse Intrinisic Pontine Glioma). LJ lost his battle with this dreadful disease on Friday. He is no longer in pain or suffering from treatments.  He is whole and healthy and happy.  He is with God.  During this holiest of weeks, I ask you pray for LJ and his family and friends.  They have endured a journey none of us would want to experience but their faith has gotten them through the last 4 years and will get them through they days to come. May God bless them all and keep them in his loving arms. 

I just have to get through the spring and the year is over

Growing up in The Bronx, I thought milk came from a container, eggs in their little crate, meat in styrofoam trays with plastic wrap.

As a child I didn’t make the connection between the cows or chickens that made their contribution to the items listed above.

If you grew up without trees and vegetable gardens why would you think anything else?

Nothing gowns in the concrete.

My parents told me about the vegetable man who would bring his truck through the streets of the Bronx yelling his arrival. Women would come out and buy the fresh vegetables and fruit.  I do not remember this taking place  but am sure my Mom’s recollections were true.

I was thinking yesterday I am so looking forward to buying fresh vegetables from the roadside stand near my house.

Corn, tomato’s, cucumbers, mushrooms, brussel sprouts, green beans, artichokes will all be part of my weekend food prep soon.

Oh and let’s not forget zucchini, eggplant and edamame.

Yum.

The plants of spring become treats of summer.

I can’t wait to have a red seedless grape that doesn’t taste tart.

We do pay a price to get to that summer season.

We get to enjoy the beauty of blooming flowers and trees. But oh my gosh the pollen.  I can’t remember the last time I went a full day without a couple of coughing fits or sneezing.

I would love to open my windows and enjoy the lovely breezes but with them comes the “yellow stuff” that leaves its trail all over my porch and glass table.  It can get so thick I could write my name in it. Yuck!

So the windows stay closed.

By the time the pollen is gone, it becomes too hot to leave the windows open.

Well there is always the fall to enjoy the open windows.  Well, late fall here in South Carolina.

It is worth the spring allergies for the taste of that fresh tomato.  The thought of a sliced tomatoes sandwich  on white bread with mayo.  Nirvana.

We are already one quarter of the way through the year.

It is hard to believe Memorial Day is next month.

The community pool will finally be open without having to sign up for what hours you want to attend so you could social distance (2021 rules) or the summer of 2020 when it was closed the whole season.

Actually, the pool opens much earlier in the year. It is heated but I have become such a southern weenie that I complain about getting out of the water and feeling cold. 

The days fly by.  Almost too quickly.  It is scary.

I remember back when i was young and it seemed to take a zillion years to get through a school year or from Christmas to Christmas.

Now I blink my eyes and it is time to flip another page on the monthly calendar.

In April, I will get the Hallmark Ornament book for 2022.  Yes, the Christmas ornament book.

Jenn and I have already discussed what photos will be on our Christmas card this year.

As you all know thoughts of Christmas are never far from my heart or mind. I also it annoys the heck out of others that I think about the holidays so often.  Sorry folks, it is what it is.

This is also one of those rare years where Jenn’s birthday will fall on Election Day and mine falls on Thanksgiving. 

I am actually looking forward to Jenn’s more than mine.  I wonder why? LOL

See you next week.