Sunday, July 10, 2011
It Is OK To Take A Nap
I used to feel guilty about taking a nap. I felt I was supposed to stay busy ALL THE TIME!!!! Well not anymore!!! The one thing I do not like is if I nap too long because I wake up foggy and groggy. Lately, I have been napping on Saturday and Sunday. I still feel a little guilty but feel like it is reward for a hard week. The only strange thing is sometimes I end up napping just a few hours after I wake up. For example on Sunday I went to a friends house to let their dogs out. I stayed there for an hour and started to fall asleep. Then I went to the gym and worked out and guess what I did when I got home.....another nap. I did manage to stay awake the rest of the day....LOL.
Did She Say Cardio????
I met with Carol on Thursday. I never quite know what to expect. It is probably good I didn't know ahead of time what she had in mind or I might have driven right past the gym!!!
I was already hot when I got to the gym from rushing out of the office late and trying to make it to the gym on time. Well, it was cardio day!!! I don't mean just a little cardio.....this was major CARDIO. At least for me it was.....
We worked on the stepper.....remember when I could only do it up one level??? No more.....now all my work is at a 2nd level.......I know, I know I need to be moving up a level but some days I feel like I am climbing Mt. Rushmore (you can climb that can't you?). Anyway, Carol mixed in lifting weights from the floor, side ways jumping jacks, curls, squats, lifting weights from my shoulders up and then back to the stepper......over and over again. Each time I would sit down and grab my water I knew I wouldn't be down for long. She would let me get a drink of water and then give me the "get up and get moving look". At one point my daughter asked me if I was OK......she said I looked like I was going to cry. I don't know why but I did felt like I might cry. I drank almost 32 ounces of water during our time together. Carol would never ask me to do something I can't do but she does push me as far she thinks I can go.
It wasn't bad enough that I was drenched in sweat but then I had to go out into the 90 degree heat. I cranked up the air in the car and headed home. I am not sure if I was happier about what I was able to do at the gym or because it was over.......probably a little of both.........
I was already hot when I got to the gym from rushing out of the office late and trying to make it to the gym on time. Well, it was cardio day!!! I don't mean just a little cardio.....this was major CARDIO. At least for me it was.....
We worked on the stepper.....remember when I could only do it up one level??? No more.....now all my work is at a 2nd level.......I know, I know I need to be moving up a level but some days I feel like I am climbing Mt. Rushmore (you can climb that can't you?). Anyway, Carol mixed in lifting weights from the floor, side ways jumping jacks, curls, squats, lifting weights from my shoulders up and then back to the stepper......over and over again. Each time I would sit down and grab my water I knew I wouldn't be down for long. She would let me get a drink of water and then give me the "get up and get moving look". At one point my daughter asked me if I was OK......she said I looked like I was going to cry. I don't know why but I did felt like I might cry. I drank almost 32 ounces of water during our time together. Carol would never ask me to do something I can't do but she does push me as far she thinks I can go.
It wasn't bad enough that I was drenched in sweat but then I had to go out into the 90 degree heat. I cranked up the air in the car and headed home. I am not sure if I was happier about what I was able to do at the gym or because it was over.......probably a little of both.........
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
What Else Am I Going To Write???
A friend asked me what else I plan to write besides this blog. I will definitely not stop writing this on a weekly basis but what else can I do. I know I do not have the great American novel inside me. Essays, short stories, articles and columns......all real possibilities. I am writing my 1st short story.......I will see how it goes. Could I write a weekly lifestyles column a la Erma Bombeck....oh yeah!! I have written to some local newspapers with no response. I have approached a few magazines with no luck. I have even sent sent some essays to the staff of Chicken Soup For The Soul staff.....nothing from them either.
Usually I am not so sure of myself but this I am sure of......I write well. When passages from the letter I wrote about my Dad ended up in the book "Wisdom Of Our Fathers" by Tim Russert (you can google it), it was the confirmation I needed. I always thought I had the potential to be a good writer. Although I wish I had done something with it earlier in my life.......it's not too late. The editor of the Russert book and I communicated back and forth before the book was published.....he wrote that not only did he like my letter but also that I wrote well.....that right he said I wrote well!!!!
I wish I had stuck with the journalism major in college (OK I did switch majors a number of times). I wish I had become a speech writer......I think I would have been good at that.....
I will continue to write and send out to different venues samples of my words....I truly believe someone somewhere will either print something I have written or will give me a writing opportunity.....
I am not usually so confident but this time......I know what I know.....now how to make it a reality.....any suggestions???
Usually I am not so sure of myself but this I am sure of......I write well. When passages from the letter I wrote about my Dad ended up in the book "Wisdom Of Our Fathers" by Tim Russert (you can google it), it was the confirmation I needed. I always thought I had the potential to be a good writer. Although I wish I had done something with it earlier in my life.......it's not too late. The editor of the Russert book and I communicated back and forth before the book was published.....he wrote that not only did he like my letter but also that I wrote well.....that right he said I wrote well!!!!
I wish I had stuck with the journalism major in college (OK I did switch majors a number of times). I wish I had become a speech writer......I think I would have been good at that.....
I will continue to write and send out to different venues samples of my words....I truly believe someone somewhere will either print something I have written or will give me a writing opportunity.....
I am not usually so confident but this time......I know what I know.....now how to make it a reality.....any suggestions???
Monday, July 4, 2011
To Put My Blog Link On Facebook Or Not???
I have been going back and forth over whether or not to put my blog link on facebook....
I have a group of about 25-30 people who read my blog on a regular basis......or at least I hope they do. So were do I go next??? I can put it on facebook and see how it goes.....that might be a good option.
My brother feels at some point I can make it into a book......anyone know a publisher who might take a look at it?????
I did tell my brother that this blog would be no way near ready to publish until I reach my goal. What is my goal you might ask......well here is what I know......it is not a number.....surprise, surprise, surprise!!! I had always said I would be happy when I weighed X or lost X pounds......but guess what I have learned......it is not about the number. It is about me and how I feel. Yes, the weight is part of it but I do not have to weight X pounds in order to feel OK with myself. This journey of self-discovery has made me take a hard look at myself. Health is the biggest focus, happiness within myself is also at the forefront, how I look is not as important. I look at pictures of myself from my nephews wedding and guess what.....I like how I looked that day........that had more to do with the outfit, make-up and hair......not the weight.
So even thought my journey is long from over.....I have 55 years of me to fix.....not something that can be accomplished in 18 months.....each day I feel closer to my destination.
Keep your ear to the ground.....let me know if you know anyone in the publishing area who might take a look at this blog and even see if it has potential. I have figured out that even if no one else ever read a word of this.......that would be OK....I am proud of what I have accomplished and the words I have put down here. It has been therapeutic and helped me to grow not in girth but in spirit.
So here I go.....facebook here I come.....I will let you know how it goes......stay tuned......
I have a group of about 25-30 people who read my blog on a regular basis......or at least I hope they do. So were do I go next??? I can put it on facebook and see how it goes.....that might be a good option.
My brother feels at some point I can make it into a book......anyone know a publisher who might take a look at it?????
I did tell my brother that this blog would be no way near ready to publish until I reach my goal. What is my goal you might ask......well here is what I know......it is not a number.....surprise, surprise, surprise!!! I had always said I would be happy when I weighed X or lost X pounds......but guess what I have learned......it is not about the number. It is about me and how I feel. Yes, the weight is part of it but I do not have to weight X pounds in order to feel OK with myself. This journey of self-discovery has made me take a hard look at myself. Health is the biggest focus, happiness within myself is also at the forefront, how I look is not as important. I look at pictures of myself from my nephews wedding and guess what.....I like how I looked that day........that had more to do with the outfit, make-up and hair......not the weight.
So even thought my journey is long from over.....I have 55 years of me to fix.....not something that can be accomplished in 18 months.....each day I feel closer to my destination.
Keep your ear to the ground.....let me know if you know anyone in the publishing area who might take a look at this blog and even see if it has potential. I have figured out that even if no one else ever read a word of this.......that would be OK....I am proud of what I have accomplished and the words I have put down here. It has been therapeutic and helped me to grow not in girth but in spirit.
So here I go.....facebook here I come.....I will let you know how it goes......stay tuned......
I Threw Away The French Fries
Yes, I did it. I actually threw away French Fries......
Last week we had a team lunch. I ordered Grilled Chicken. It came with Cole Slaw and French Fries. The Cole Slaw was in a cup the size of a shot glass....so I knew I wouldn't gain 10 pounds from that. The grilled chicken was great. By the time I got to the French Fries.........they were cold. I ate one dipping it in ketchup. I picked up a second one and looked at it. Why on earth would I eat cold fries??? They do not taste good and there is no redeeming quality in cold fries. I think it was just habit that made me even think about eating them. I could have gone to the microwave and heated them up. But I decided.....NO.....it wasn't worth it.
I think I have been so conditioned to eat whatever is in front of me that I don't spend the time to think.....do I really want this.....is it going to taste as good as I think it will......will just a small amount or taste satisfy me vs. eating the whole thing......
So why would I even consider eating a cold French Fry.....it was like getting hit in the head.....WOW..... I do not have to eat something just because it is in front of me.....RED ALERT RED ALERT......Donna has figured something new out....WOO HOO......she can choose what she wants to eat and it is OK to throw out what she doesn't want.......
New rule......I don't have to eat anything I don't want too and it is OK to pitch it out.....I would save left overs in the fridge....just in case I might want them later.....this weekend I threw out things I would normally save.....
This may seems like no big deal to most people.....but for me this is huge.....just another step along my path to a healthier, longer life.....so watch out cold fries and left overs.......your days are numbered
Last week we had a team lunch. I ordered Grilled Chicken. It came with Cole Slaw and French Fries. The Cole Slaw was in a cup the size of a shot glass....so I knew I wouldn't gain 10 pounds from that. The grilled chicken was great. By the time I got to the French Fries.........they were cold. I ate one dipping it in ketchup. I picked up a second one and looked at it. Why on earth would I eat cold fries??? They do not taste good and there is no redeeming quality in cold fries. I think it was just habit that made me even think about eating them. I could have gone to the microwave and heated them up. But I decided.....NO.....it wasn't worth it.
I think I have been so conditioned to eat whatever is in front of me that I don't spend the time to think.....do I really want this.....is it going to taste as good as I think it will......will just a small amount or taste satisfy me vs. eating the whole thing......
So why would I even consider eating a cold French Fry.....it was like getting hit in the head.....WOW..... I do not have to eat something just because it is in front of me.....RED ALERT RED ALERT......Donna has figured something new out....WOO HOO......she can choose what she wants to eat and it is OK to throw out what she doesn't want.......
New rule......I don't have to eat anything I don't want too and it is OK to pitch it out.....I would save left overs in the fridge....just in case I might want them later.....this weekend I threw out things I would normally save.....
This may seems like no big deal to most people.....but for me this is huge.....just another step along my path to a healthier, longer life.....so watch out cold fries and left overs.......your days are numbered
OK.....So this quote is from a Lifetime Movie....
"Surf wisdom says you have to swim out of you comfort zone to catch the wave that is going to change your life."
Yes, I said this came from a Lifetime Movie......so kill me.....
You never know where the right words may come from. This was from a movie called "Flirting With Forty". I know, I know not from a profound source.....like Churchill, Gandhi or Einstein......LOL.
I have almost always played it safe. I am not the person who goes way out in the waves. I tend to stay close to shore. Impulsive.....never.....although I wish I could be.
When we went on a trip to Disneyland, I researched and bought a book. I studied all the angles. Then when I got there I had a plan. Enter the park to the left since everyone usually goes to the right. I knew the monorail schedule. I made sure the kids got all the Disney character autographs they could. Could I have just shown up at the park with no game plan??? Not me!!!!
But since Jan 2010, I have been swimming out of my comfort zone. Going to the gym was such a major step for me. Continuing to go is easy for me......I have money invested and if you know me well......I do not waste money!!!
Working on new eating habits.....hard to change but I can truly see progress. I think more about what I put in my mouth, how much I put in my mouth and why I want to put it in my mouth.
Phrases like sugar free, organic, steamed and whole grain have become part of my vocabulary. Foods like Quinoa, brown rice, couscous and veggies, veggies veggies are as much a part of my world as the things I have eaten all of my life.
This blog has forced me to stretch. Not the writing process, I think that has always been a part of me. The act of sharing so much of my life, thoughts, failures and dreams......OK that is not just swimming out of my comfort zone.....that is heading right into the waves and hoping to catch a good one on the way back.
I believe all the steps I am taking will change my life.....for the positive.....so here I go.....no longer waiting for the perfect wave or staying close to the shore.......just grabbing any wave I can and hoping to make it safely to shore........SURFS UP!!!!!!!
Yes, I said this came from a Lifetime Movie......so kill me.....
You never know where the right words may come from. This was from a movie called "Flirting With Forty". I know, I know not from a profound source.....like Churchill, Gandhi or Einstein......LOL.
I have almost always played it safe. I am not the person who goes way out in the waves. I tend to stay close to shore. Impulsive.....never.....although I wish I could be.
When we went on a trip to Disneyland, I researched and bought a book. I studied all the angles. Then when I got there I had a plan. Enter the park to the left since everyone usually goes to the right. I knew the monorail schedule. I made sure the kids got all the Disney character autographs they could. Could I have just shown up at the park with no game plan??? Not me!!!!
But since Jan 2010, I have been swimming out of my comfort zone. Going to the gym was such a major step for me. Continuing to go is easy for me......I have money invested and if you know me well......I do not waste money!!!
Working on new eating habits.....hard to change but I can truly see progress. I think more about what I put in my mouth, how much I put in my mouth and why I want to put it in my mouth.
Phrases like sugar free, organic, steamed and whole grain have become part of my vocabulary. Foods like Quinoa, brown rice, couscous and veggies, veggies veggies are as much a part of my world as the things I have eaten all of my life.
This blog has forced me to stretch. Not the writing process, I think that has always been a part of me. The act of sharing so much of my life, thoughts, failures and dreams......OK that is not just swimming out of my comfort zone.....that is heading right into the waves and hoping to catch a good one on the way back.
I believe all the steps I am taking will change my life.....for the positive.....so here I go.....no longer waiting for the perfect wave or staying close to the shore.......just grabbing any wave I can and hoping to make it safely to shore........SURFS UP!!!!!!!
Fall Down Seven Times Stand Up Eight
Life continues to throw me curves......
As I have said several times before, I have an extreme fear of falling. This fear is about physically falling. I guess we can all fall mentally and psychologically too.....
I am working on the physical fear of falling by the things I am doing at the gym. I am working on my core through balance and other exercises.
Now about the psychological fears.....
I am damaged goods. Years of beating myself up and allowing others to beat me up has taken a toll on me. I don't know if I will ever totally heal but I can feel better. I fight this battle daily. The scars are very deep and some are not visible to those who know me. Only in those rare dark moments do I sometimes reach out to others or open up so they can see my pain. It is embarrassing and painful to expose myself so others can see what I deal with.....
But I do believe I am getting stronger both physically and mentally. The physical part I owe to my daughter , my trainer and the friends that support my efforts and continue to encourage me. The mental part is different......I have let very few see my true pain.....it makes me feel like a failure and I am really the only one who can fix that part. The people I have chosen to let inside are great at listening, do not criticize and offer support without being critical.
The important part is I continue to stand up. The easier route would be to just stay down and not struggle to stand but that is not who I am. So I don't care how many more times I get knocked down......I will still get back up physically and mentally......cause that I who I am.....
As I have said several times before, I have an extreme fear of falling. This fear is about physically falling. I guess we can all fall mentally and psychologically too.....
I am working on the physical fear of falling by the things I am doing at the gym. I am working on my core through balance and other exercises.
Now about the psychological fears.....
I am damaged goods. Years of beating myself up and allowing others to beat me up has taken a toll on me. I don't know if I will ever totally heal but I can feel better. I fight this battle daily. The scars are very deep and some are not visible to those who know me. Only in those rare dark moments do I sometimes reach out to others or open up so they can see my pain. It is embarrassing and painful to expose myself so others can see what I deal with.....
But I do believe I am getting stronger both physically and mentally. The physical part I owe to my daughter , my trainer and the friends that support my efforts and continue to encourage me. The mental part is different......I have let very few see my true pain.....it makes me feel like a failure and I am really the only one who can fix that part. The people I have chosen to let inside are great at listening, do not criticize and offer support without being critical.
The important part is I continue to stand up. The easier route would be to just stay down and not struggle to stand but that is not who I am. So I don't care how many more times I get knocked down......I will still get back up physically and mentally......cause that I who I am.....
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