I am trying hard to work at the no white stuff.....flour and sugar.....
I haven't had fruit in a while. Which might explain why I drool looking at banana's, peaches, pineapple and on and on....
When I was at my friend's house Friday night.....I ate some of the fruit salad I brought. OMG.....when you haven't had fresh fruit in ages it is like a slice of heaven. I controlled myself and had just one bowl. I ate it a piece at a time. It was pure heaven!!!!
It is funny, I have never thought of fresh fruit as a treat but is it now!!!! Each fruit had such a distinct flavor.....the sweetness was amazing.....has my life changed or what???? In the old days, it would have been a brownie or a piece of cheesecake that would give me a sugar rush.....now it is banana's and peaches......well, that is a good thing.
No, I will not be going back to eating fruit everyday.......I know I need to steer clear of as much sugar as possible but from time to time I may treat myself to some......better that than some of the other choices I would have made in the past......well what do you know maybe I am learning how to do this food thing after all.......
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Something Other Than Flats.....
Friday, I decided to wear my new crocs to work. They were sandals with a wedge heel. I put them on and realized how long it had been since I wore anything but flats. I lasted about an hour in them. My knees were aching a little. Fortunately, I brought another pair of shoes with me.
I am hoping as I lose weight my knees won't hurt as much from just a little heel. I would like to wear something other than flats. No, I am not looking to wear stiletto's but something with a little more style.
Most of you know my favorite shoes are flip flops. I started wearing them when I was a teenager and they have been a part of my wardrobe ever since and long before they were an acceptable form of footwear, Hey, I was a trend setter.......If I could wear them 24/7 I would be a happy camper.
I have already told Jenn when I head off to my final resting place......make sure I am wearing flip flops.....
I am hoping as I lose weight my knees won't hurt as much from just a little heel. I would like to wear something other than flats. No, I am not looking to wear stiletto's but something with a little more style.
Most of you know my favorite shoes are flip flops. I started wearing them when I was a teenager and they have been a part of my wardrobe ever since and long before they were an acceptable form of footwear, Hey, I was a trend setter.......If I could wear them 24/7 I would be a happy camper.
I have already told Jenn when I head off to my final resting place......make sure I am wearing flip flops.....
Will I Ever Be Happy With My Reflection In The Mirror
I think I could be a size 2 and still not be happy with my reflection. I will always be critical of my appearance. The person who looks back at me may have made some improvements but in my head I will always see the fat me. I could spend years on an analyst couch and never figure this out. I have to learn to love myself and that is very hard to do. I am trying........if I didn't care at all about myself I would have continued on the self-destructive path I was on.......but I finally got it.......it was like a light bulb going on over my head.......I needed to take care of me!!!!!
I am trying hard to like myself by doing the exercise, watching what I eat and making some other lifestyle changes that I think are to my benefit.
I may never be totally happy with the reflection in the mirror but if I can at least get comfortable with what I see......that would be a huge accomplishment.......
I am trying hard to like myself by doing the exercise, watching what I eat and making some other lifestyle changes that I think are to my benefit.
I may never be totally happy with the reflection in the mirror but if I can at least get comfortable with what I see......that would be a huge accomplishment.......
A great way to end a crazy busy week......
I said last week was going to be crazy and it was. The payoff was Friday night. Jenn and I headed to a friend's house from our Italian class. He lives on Lake Murray. The view was wonderful. He had a kitchen that I would dream of having. Everyone from our class was there. We gathering the kitchen, rolled out the homemade dough, put a variety of topping on the pizza's and let his convection oven work it's magic. The result was fabulous!!!!
I brought a fresh fruit salad, we have wonderful bruschetta and dessert was amazing. Sitting out on the porch and listening to the water and seeing some lightening was beautiful. Hearing the laughter of friends was enough to make you smile.
I hated to leave. Driving home I reflected on the week and all I had been through. I would go through it all again if I was guaranteed to end it sitting near the lake with these friends.
Sometimes life presents you with wonderful moments......Friday night was one of them.....
I brought a fresh fruit salad, we have wonderful bruschetta and dessert was amazing. Sitting out on the porch and listening to the water and seeing some lightening was beautiful. Hearing the laughter of friends was enough to make you smile.
I hated to leave. Driving home I reflected on the week and all I had been through. I would go through it all again if I was guaranteed to end it sitting near the lake with these friends.
Sometimes life presents you with wonderful moments......Friday night was one of them.....
Up off the floor....
Thursday at the gym was ....oh what would I call it......difficult......challenging.....scary......
Carol started our work out with the usual dead lifts, weights and stretches. Then she says " Don't think I am crazy but I want you to do this" next thing I know she is sitting on the floor and lifting herself up. I look at her and start to cry. In my head I am thinking " I can't do this!!!!" I don't say the words out loud but Carol can tell by the look on my face what I am thinking. She says, "I have never asked you to do something you couldn't do" which is true. First, she wants me on the Pilate's ball and to get up and down. I like to sit on a firm surface instead. So I go from the weight bench to the floor. Now the struggle begins.....due a previous injury I can barely lean on my right knee. I really need a pillow or something to lean it on. So instead I don't bend the right knee at all or almost at all and struggle to get off the floor pushing my arms against the bench and pushing on my leg.......finally I am standing up.....I am sweating and crying......crying from embarrassment that it took some much effort for me to do something so basic and simple......also concerned at how I looked to the others in the ladies gym with me....Carol says we will be doing this again and again in the next few weeks until I can do it with more ease.....
Friday.....my knee and hip are a little sore.....my shoulders ache from trying to lift myself off the floor.....but I did feel good mentally that I had accomplished what is a huge feat for me.....hope fully it will get better with time....just another hill to climb......lead on Carol....I am right behind you.....
Carol started our work out with the usual dead lifts, weights and stretches. Then she says " Don't think I am crazy but I want you to do this" next thing I know she is sitting on the floor and lifting herself up. I look at her and start to cry. In my head I am thinking " I can't do this!!!!" I don't say the words out loud but Carol can tell by the look on my face what I am thinking. She says, "I have never asked you to do something you couldn't do" which is true. First, she wants me on the Pilate's ball and to get up and down. I like to sit on a firm surface instead. So I go from the weight bench to the floor. Now the struggle begins.....due a previous injury I can barely lean on my right knee. I really need a pillow or something to lean it on. So instead I don't bend the right knee at all or almost at all and struggle to get off the floor pushing my arms against the bench and pushing on my leg.......finally I am standing up.....I am sweating and crying......crying from embarrassment that it took some much effort for me to do something so basic and simple......also concerned at how I looked to the others in the ladies gym with me....Carol says we will be doing this again and again in the next few weeks until I can do it with more ease.....
Friday.....my knee and hip are a little sore.....my shoulders ache from trying to lift myself off the floor.....but I did feel good mentally that I had accomplished what is a huge feat for me.....hope fully it will get better with time....just another hill to climb......lead on Carol....I am right behind you.....
Another great quote.....
“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”
Oh this is so me....
I am the first to put myself down. I bare the bruises to prove this......the bruises are from Jenn pinching me when I say something negative about myself. I have gotten so used to knocking myself so much that I don't even hear it when I say the negative things. Well, like Pavlov's dog......I think it is starting to work......starting.......when you have spent so much time criticising yourself it is a hard habit to break.
I am not comfortable saying good things about myself. But I am trying hard to accept compliments. Kathy complimented me a couple of times Saturday......she would say "Your pants have gotten loose" to which I would say "the pants are old and baggy"...she said "I can tell you have lost around your stomach" to which I responded "it has moved to my ass".......finally she said "I can see a difference" and I said, "thank you".......Kathy said " thank you for accepting a compliment and just saying thank you!!"
I need to start to overvalue the positive and start to undervalue the negative....it is another change I need to make in my journey.....this is psychological......and that will be a challenge........paging Dr. Pavlov.......paging Dr. Pavlov......
Oh this is so me....
I am the first to put myself down. I bare the bruises to prove this......the bruises are from Jenn pinching me when I say something negative about myself. I have gotten so used to knocking myself so much that I don't even hear it when I say the negative things. Well, like Pavlov's dog......I think it is starting to work......starting.......when you have spent so much time criticising yourself it is a hard habit to break.
I am not comfortable saying good things about myself. But I am trying hard to accept compliments. Kathy complimented me a couple of times Saturday......she would say "Your pants have gotten loose" to which I would say "the pants are old and baggy"...she said "I can tell you have lost around your stomach" to which I responded "it has moved to my ass".......finally she said "I can see a difference" and I said, "thank you".......Kathy said " thank you for accepting a compliment and just saying thank you!!"
I need to start to overvalue the positive and start to undervalue the negative....it is another change I need to make in my journey.....this is psychological......and that will be a challenge........paging Dr. Pavlov.......paging Dr. Pavlov......
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Planning, planning and more planning
As I mentioned in my previous post, I have a crazy week ahead....
One of the keys to success is planning. I have planned time to work out. I have also planned my meals for the week. I already made enough salad for a few lunches. I have figured out what to have for breakfast and in between meal snacks (if I want them). I am also trying to keep the points and calorie counts low so when I am out to dinner on Wednesday, I will have a little more flexibility. I need to plan, I can't do this cold. If I don't plan, chances are I will make some mistakes. I am trying to minimize my options in order to be successful.
Lately, I have been thinking about doughnuts......why doughnuts.....I am not sure......could it have something to do with the New Krispy Kreme that opened 5 minutes from my house. I drive by it all the time. I am not saying I will never have one of those doughnuts (although I would probably have a Dunkin Donut instead) but right now I am choosing to not stop and buy one. When I know one doughnut is 6 points in the Weight Watchers world, I have to think is it worth it??? NO, especially since one would not fill me up.....more like 2 or 3.....I am not willing to waste empty calories on them.
Filling foods is what I need.....that is why I love oatmeal. I also love salad......it can be an adventure....tomato's, cukes, chic peas, mushrooms.....yum.
At least for this week.....I have a plan of action. This is something I didn't do in the past. Hopefully, my planning will pay off........now can someone change the direction of the wind and stop the smell of doughnuts from passing my house. Also, please pull the plug on the "Hot Doughnut's Ready Now" sign......please.......
One of the keys to success is planning. I have planned time to work out. I have also planned my meals for the week. I already made enough salad for a few lunches. I have figured out what to have for breakfast and in between meal snacks (if I want them). I am also trying to keep the points and calorie counts low so when I am out to dinner on Wednesday, I will have a little more flexibility. I need to plan, I can't do this cold. If I don't plan, chances are I will make some mistakes. I am trying to minimize my options in order to be successful.
Lately, I have been thinking about doughnuts......why doughnuts.....I am not sure......could it have something to do with the New Krispy Kreme that opened 5 minutes from my house. I drive by it all the time. I am not saying I will never have one of those doughnuts (although I would probably have a Dunkin Donut instead) but right now I am choosing to not stop and buy one. When I know one doughnut is 6 points in the Weight Watchers world, I have to think is it worth it??? NO, especially since one would not fill me up.....more like 2 or 3.....I am not willing to waste empty calories on them.
Filling foods is what I need.....that is why I love oatmeal. I also love salad......it can be an adventure....tomato's, cukes, chic peas, mushrooms.....yum.
At least for this week.....I have a plan of action. This is something I didn't do in the past. Hopefully, my planning will pay off........now can someone change the direction of the wind and stop the smell of doughnuts from passing my house. Also, please pull the plug on the "Hot Doughnut's Ready Now" sign......please.......
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