A Family Visit

I was expecting my brother and his wife (George and Marge) on Wednesday. I took the day off and was going to finish cleaing the house before their arrival. So imagine my surpise when my Mom called me at work and told me George and Marge were sitting under the underpass at I26 and I77.....trying to avoid the rain. Oh did I mention this was on TUESDAY......yes Tuesday!!!!!!

Thank goodness they couldn't see the look on my face as I yelled into the phone"What do you mean they are in Columbia?????". I called Jenn and told her to get right home after work. The Wednesday dinner I had planned was moved to Tuesday. We had tortolini and meatball soup and ceasar salad. When I got home from work......slightly frazzled.

On Wednesday, they got the full southern eating experience......Krispy Kreme doughnuts (I didn't have any since one would no where be close to filling me up and I didn't want to have one and then want more).......later in the day I dropped them at the State Fair so they could check out the food and exhibits. I told George it was ok to wear a t-shirt, shorts, and his boots.....hey it's the SC State Fair not an White House state dinner. They enjoyed themselves with corn dogs, funnel cakes and George even tried fried butter!!! I don't think he will try it again but I give him credit for trying it. He said you could feel a heart attack happening as you ate the little deep fried balls of butter. We ended the day by having dinner at Rockaways....great burgers and once again some fried foods. Jenn had made one of George's favorite cookies......chocolate chips. Can you see the theme running through this paragraph......LOL.

Too soon it was Thursday morning and they were leaving to head back to NY. It was a short but fun visit. I left them the house key and told them when they were ready to leave just stop by Chic-Fil-A and give the key to Bob......since there aren't a lot of Chic-Fil-A's near them in NY it just made sense to have them grab a chicken biscuit on the way out of town........

Gotta Get on Schedule

I have gotten back in control of my eating......for the most part. I have tried to avoid the land mines including banning Jenn from making brownies. The brownies scream my name and the only way to quiet them is to have one. No more brownies in the house!!!! Then of course there is the dreaded Halloween candy. I am not allowing my favorites into the house.......almond joys and snickers. Tootsie rolls are OK because the calorie count is not bad and they are easy to control. Even though I am not a huge fan of reeses peanut butter cups and malt balls.......they are in a glass pumpkin on the table......each time someone opens the jar I can hear my name being faintly called by the candies but so far I have stuck my fingers in my ears and hummed loudly to not hear them too much.

My work schedule has made getting to the gym somewhat difficult but this week I need to make this my focus. If necessary I will take my laptop home and finish whatever I don't get to before I leave the office. The gym is important to me for many reasons: I feel better when I am on a regular schedule at the gym, I burn more calories and I love the way I feel when I am done and those endorphins kick in.

So this week......no matter what.....I will be at the gym back on my regular schedule....unlesss......nope.....no unless.....this is too important to me!!!!!

Over 300 Hundred Posts.....

It seems like it took forever to get my first 100 posts done.....now I just passed my 300th entry....WOW!!!

What have I learned as I have been writing.......other than the obvious......that I feel more confident about my ability to write.....

I may not have gone through the physical transformation that I had hoped for but I am NOT giving up.......the new improved Donna is still coming your way......just at a snails pace....

I feel better physically than I did when I started......thanks to ....Carol......Gold's Gym.....and Jenn who kicked my butt through the door of the gym on the days when I didn't feel like going.....

Psychologically.......I am a work in progress........my confidence is up......some.....

I don't think I would consider myself broken when I started this process.....maybe vey badly bruised......but the healing process continues.......one day at a time.....one hour at a time....sometimes one second at a time.....

To heal......I need to continue to learn to love myself........I need to learn to reach out more......I need to be honest.....and I need to laugh more.....

A tall order.......but one I think I can fill......all in good time.......I feel like I am heading in the right direction.....just the road has more turns and bumps than I anticipated at the start......

Do I Need An Adventure?

You would think the last 2 months has provided me with more adventure than I would need in a year. But I am feeling the need for another kind of adventure but I am not sure what I want. Is it a trip? Is it visiting relatives or friends? Is it breaking out and doing something different. I see others around me doing things and I envy them. The problem is I don't know what it is I want to do.....

I have to figure it out. I think my new job has given me satisfaction career wise so that is a place I can leave alone. I am writing my blog regularly so check that off. The fall is my favorite time of year and I am happy the weather is finally cooling off. So what is it that I am lacking that makes me feel empty at times....

There are not "things" that I desire (well except an IPAD") OK and maybe a convertible......LOL.....but inside I feel like I need something......maybe more time with friends.....more laughter.....the hard part is by the end of the week I am so tired all I want to do is sit in my recliner and read (after the gym of course)....I can't wait for things to happen.....maybe I need to make them happen.....OK a new challenge.....what can I do to shake tings up....

Stay tuned.....as I try to sort this out......do others feel like this.....I can't believe it is just me bored with the monotony of every day life.....or is it???

Back In The Pool

I promised myself I would get back into the gym on a regular schedule again. I made the point of getting to the Water Aerobics classes on Tuesday and Thursday. The hard part was this meant I must leave the office by 5:10....no ifs ands or buts....that is hard for me......I keep saying to myself ....I will just do one more thing. I finally just have to get up and leave. I get to the gym and am kind of frazzled. But after I am in the pool a few minutes....I start to relax. It is so therapeutic. I have to remember that I matter......it is easy to get lost in the shuffle. That was my mistake before....I put myself behind so many things......I have to say to myself.....Donna the office will not fall apart if you leave to go to the gym.

By the time I get home......a lot of the stresses of the day are gone.....the gym works it magic on me.....it feels wonderful!!!!

I Need Some Sleep

The craziness of the last few weeks has made for some restlessness nights....

During the day I am trying to focus on so much......making sure I am absorbing all I can that my brain doesn't want to shut off at bedtime....

One of the things I have read is to be successful at weight loss you need to get enough sleep. But how can I do that if my brain isn't willing to go to sleep. I can usually fall asleep in the recliner for an hour or so between 9 and 11 at night. Then when I go to bed for real and I am awake. I know I should try to stay awake until I go to bed for the night or go to bed earlier but if I do that next thing I know I will be going to bed a soon as I walk through the door. Isn't it bad enough I put on my pj's as soon as I get home......what's next the 4:00 dinner special for Sr. Citizen's???

I do live on the edge and sometimes take a Tylenol PM.....but I don't want to get used to doing that every night....

And how much sleep do I need to lose weight.....do people lose weight when they sleep more because that is less time they can eat??? I am sure it is something more scientific than that.....

I think as I get used to my new job and start to know what I know.....I will be able to sleep better or knowing me.....I will just find somethig else to worry about....LOL.....I am a mess....

I Am Clumsy...

I tend to blame my size for the coordination I lack. Maybe that is not the case......maybe I am just clumsy. When I was walking onto a plane I would try to wheel my laptop bag down the aisle. Those aisles are not wide. My bag would get caught and bang along the aisle. It took me 4 flights to figure out if I carried it by it's handles down the aisle I moved quicker and didn't have any problems. The banging and getting the bag caught made me look uncoordinated. Something as simple as picking up the bag made me stand out less from the other travelers.....which is what I want.

Even walking can be an issue.....instead of dragging my feet.....I now pick them up when I walk......guess what....I trip less!!

I do have to think about the things I do....probably more than most people do but if I appear less clumsy then it is worth a few seconds thinking before doing.

I will never be graceful.......I will always have a fear of falling.....but at least I can minimize doing the things that make me look foolish......I said minimize not erase totally......I am not looking for miracles.....I just want to blend in.....is that too much to ask?????