Why I won't ever be the Biggest Loser

I have had more than one person ask me if I ever thought of trying out for the Biggest Loser. I have very mixed feelings about that question.

It makes me feel so bad to know people think I am big enough to be a contestant....

I know what I look like. I know I am a work in progress.

Some people have said that they thought I should go on because they feel with my personality and sense of humor America would want me to win.

Reasons I wouldn't consider being a participant.....I can't leave my job or family for months at a time. 8 hours a day in the gym scares me to death. There is no way I would ever get up on a scale for the whole world to see how much I weigh. My actual weight is no one's business but mine. I do not see public humiliation as a way to feel better about myself.

I admire the contestants and what they accomplish in a matter or months. I am on the same journey but making it more personal. I have learned so much about myself this year. I workout on a regular basis and definitely eat healthier now. I weigh in once a week.

It may take me years to get to the place I AM COMFORTABLE....that is right...where I am comfortable. I cannot let others decide what is the right weight for me. I will know it when I get there. I do not need others making the decision for me. There are those that think unless I am thin by their view, I am a failure. I say I will know when the first part of my journey is done and the next phase ...maintenance will begin.

I am learning I do not need others approval for where I am heading. It is great to have support from those who care about me. Just getting to a point where I am not concerned about the approval of others is a huge step.

Each day I take steps to improve my health. It is a daily and sometimes an hourly struggle. Most days I feel strong....stronger than I have before. I don't care if people think I should be able to finish this journey in months not years. This is my decision not theirs....so unless you have something real and sincere to say I wish you wouldn't say anything....

There are days when I struggle and your "suggestions" make me feel like you are saying I am a failure. I know the difference between sincerity and hollow words....

I have to do all of this in my time on my terms...not yours.