Another Auld Lang Syne

This morning, I looked at my list of what I hoped to accomplish during 2018.

The items that I did:
-cars hold up
-mini-family reunion in June
-increase savings
-work on work/life balance
-get published
-continue to explore Beaufort
-meet more people- writing groups
- make commute more tolerable-more reading with hoopla (audio-books)
-time with friends
-pray more

The misses for the year:
- time at the gym
-work from home more
-all my siblings together
-shop for new appliances (mine are from 1989)
-refocus and redouble efforts at WW
-see the scale move down a lot

I guess in retrospect considering the kind of year it was the lists are not too bad.

Here I am, the next to the last day of the year.

Or should I say 2 days until the new year?

Some of the items on the list from 2018 will transfer to 2019.

- once Jenn's student loans are paid off in July, YES JUST 7 MORE MONTHS !!! Time for us to car shop.  That also means praying our cars can last another 7 months!!
- get to the gym at least on weekends and more time at the outdoor pool in the good weather
-back into WW mode and gets some more pounds off !!
-plan healthy meals for ALL meals (even breakfast and lunch at work)
-get a new stove, microwave and dish washer (a 30 year upgrade)
-work from home more
-see all of my siblings (even if not at the same time)
- work more on my book (as finances allow)
- have other work published
-appreciate each day I am given
-write 5 good things about each day
-do not take those in our lives for granted 
-continue to find time to pray
-work on stressing less

And as far as midnight, if I make it, I looked up this info:

One of my favorite quotes that goes with the song sung at midnight:

Harry: [about Auld Lang Syne] What does this song mean? My whole life, I don't know what this song means. I mean, 'Should old acquaintance be forgot'? Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances, or does it mean if we happened to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot?
Sally: Well, maybe it just means that we should remember that we forgot them or something. Anyway, it's about old friends

What "For Auld Lang Syne" Means

The phrase "for auld lang syne" loosely translates as "for old times' sake." The speaker of the poem is hoping to preserve the oldest, most important relationships in their life. To that extent, it works well with the way we traditionally use the changing of the year to reflect on the past. 

In the US, it's sung just after midnight. But the song is sung all over the world with slight variations on the execution. In Scotland, it's sung just before midnight with a tradition of holding hands and running to the center of the group during the final verse. 

What Are the Words to "Auld Lang Syne"?

Here are the words to the original Burns poem, per Poets.org.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
     And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
     And auld lang syne!

     Chorus:
     For auld lang syne, my dear,
     For auld lang syne.
     We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
     For auld lang syne.

See you next week.

Pushing Through

Twas the 23rd of December.

Back on August 7th, I wrote a blog entry called "There Will Be Another Christmas".  I wrote about how fast the rest of the year would go.

And here we are the day before Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve has ALWAYS been my favorite day of the year.

Due to some expected and unexpected life events, 2018 turned out to be a more difficult a year than I expected when the New Year rolled around.

Divorce. A very challenging new operating system at work. The long commute. And the passing of a best friend/trusted advisor all were on the down side of the ledger.

Loving the feeling heading over the bridge to Beaufort. Seeing some of my Ohana. Getting my first byline. And finally, working on my first book.  All on the plus side of the ledger.

It is so easy to focus on the negatives.

Since June, I have tried hard to focus on the small and at times, unnoticed blessing we encounter each day.

I have not been perfect in my attempts and at times had to have someone pull me out of a funk.

In the past few weeks, I did find that people listened to me.  The gifts I have been given so far have been spot on for me.

A beautiful leather bound journal, a Kohl's gift card, a special pillow that will help me sleep (and maybe even back in my bed for a change), a crystal bracelet in my new favorite jewelry color (blue) and a unique map that shows where I live.

People gave these gifts a great deal of thought.  There were other gifts that were a true reflection of me.

I know it's not supposed to be about the gifts.  What happened this year was more unusual that other years.  It was clear people took the time and who thought "this is Donna" as they shopped.

And we haven't even gotten to the 25th yet.

I also tried to put more thought into what I purchased for others too.

For me, the tree lights and house lights seem a little dimmer this year.

Then you have those moments like yesterday, my friend, Kathy, brought two of her grandchildren over to decorate cookies with Jenn and me. It was two hours of pure fun and laughter.  To watch them add icing in a variety of colors to cookies along with sprinkles sufficient to cover a 10 tier wedding cake was so entertaining.

It was one of those small moments of which I am trying to be more aware.

After today, just 8 more days and we turn the page to a new year.  I will be glad to say farewell to 2018.

There will be other rough spots ahead.  I am hoping I have learned how to push through the tears, the pain and the sorrow.

Yes, there will be another spring, summer, fall and winter.

And yes, another Christmas.  Different from the past but there will be some bright spots in the future too.

A view of yesterday's creativity.

 And some of the special gifts I mentioned:

Merry Christmas!!

See you next week.

Have You Ever Done Something Really Stupid ?

I am trying to head into the final two weeks of the year with a positive mindset. Like many of you there are so many things that can drag us down.

This just happened and I can't believe I am going to share this story but if it makes you laugh as you read it I guess it is worth my embarrassment.  You will definitively be shaking your head.

The local landfill closes at 7:00 each day (except Wednesday when it is closed). Jenn and I usually make a mad dash right before closing time on Sunday evening.  Then we can start the week trash free. We also do the laundry late in order to make certain there is no dirty laundry to start the week. Today, I got in my nightshirt at 4:00 and started my laundry.

We finished baking our last batches of cookies (yes again).

A quick trip through the house to make sure all the trash baskets were empty, the shredder was cleaned out and a scan of the refrigerator to make sure nothing should go out.

At 6:30, we were off to the landfill. I drove, we took Jeter for the ride.  Jenn would be in and out of the car in less than two minutes to get rid of our trash.

Now remember, I said I had gotten into my night shirt (only a nightshirt).  I thought "what the hell, its just a 5-6 mile drive to the landfill."  I got in the car wearing my nightshirt and my jacket.  Cell phone and wallet in my pocket.

We are about 2 miles from the house and the check engine light goes on.  Really????? I turn off the radio and the heat thinking that might help.

Now, I am in a quandary. Do I drive back to the house or continue on with our trash to the landfill. 

I opt to keep driving.

I am thinking to myself who do I call that will not think I am insane for leaving the house like this? Island security, no.  The police, no.  A neighbor, no. Uber, no. Then I figure it out, we can call any of those people and they can take Jenn back to the house for her car.  I will sit in the broken down car with the dog until she gets back.  OK at least I now have a plan.

I was trying to stay calm as every crazy scenario popped into my head.The car breaks down, I get pulled over for speeding or a traffic check.  All in my nightshirt. I will never question the outfits I see on Live PD ever again.  I am sure I would have been quite a sight if an officer had pulled me over and told me to step out of the car.

Fortunately, I made it to the landfill and back without issue.

I doubt I will ever do anything that foolish again. Note, I said I doubt it, not that I am 100% sure I won't make a stupid decision like that once more.

See you next week.

Surprising results to a prayer

Last week, I could feel stress returning as I was anticipating returning to work after a week off.

It was only Saturday and there it was the feeling of dread.

Sadness, heart racing, unable to sleep and more.

I decided to pray about it. My prayer was simple, please let me handle whatever came my way.

No crying or anger or any of the other negative feelings was my hope.

I also prayed I would not wake up angry on Monday, even though I hate waking up at 5:00AM. I made sure I was settled in on Sunday night by 10:00PM. I woke up and felt ok which is an improvement over how I normally feel that early.

Monday, I got through the day letting things roll off my shoulders versus internalizing them. YEAH !

Tuesday was when I felt like I was starting to be tested. About 40 miles outside of Columbia, Jenn's car started to act up. Normally, this is when the stress would start to kick in.  Instead I called Hertz and arranged a car rental.  I called Goodyear and let them know we would be dropping the car off.  Then I prayed we would would chug along to our 40 mile destination.

We made it.

PLEASE NOTE: When you are driving either a 12 or 17 year old car, you are way behind the changes  made in the automotive industry.  No key to start the car, a back up screen and Sirius radio. We had read the owners manual to see how to put gas in the car.

Wednesday and Thursday, were not bad,  I fought off anything that might cause the "S" word to appear.

I was feeling good enough by myself.

Then Friday arrived.

On the way to work, once again the car started acting up this time 50 miles from Columbia.  There was a slight difference , it was my car this time.  I drove on the shoulder of the road as my car died.  I made it into the rest stop and the car went kaput.

Once again, the new fighting stress Donna did not lose it.  Jenn called AAA while I called Hertz in Columbia. Hertz had no cars available.  Jenn had finished the call to AAA.  Jenn suggested we look for car rentals in Orangeburg, SC.  Hertz, no one answered the phone.  Then we tried Enterprise and lucked out. They not only had a car but they would come to where we were on the highway and bring us back to the office to sign the necessary papers.  Meanwhile AAA was another issue.  We called them at 8:00, Jenn called them back at 9:15 for an ETA.  Magically, an email appeared telling us a tow truck would be there by 10:40.  Really??? 2 1/2 hours????  Then we received another call that someone would be there in less than 30 minutes which was very accurate.

We finally had the second rental car of the week and my car on it's way to Columbia for repairs.

I did post on FB about what had transpired and that I had had it, I was done.  But then something great happened, people started responding to my post.  Their responses were the thing I needed in order to accept what had happened and not throw in the towel.  Thank you all for reminding me we all get tested and that I am not a quitter.

Here were the pluses of this week:
I never felt stressed (the power of prayer).
Each person we dealt with was extremely kind.
Jenn's car is up and running.
My car will be back on the road Monday.
Jenn saw a blue Ford Ranger sitting on the side of the road as we chugged along on Tuesday. (We think it was our friend, Dan, keeping an eye on us and giving us a sign we would not break down before we hit our destination).
The security guard at my office must think I own a used car lot since I showed up in 5 different cars, one for each day of the week.
When I posted on FB that we were broken down on the highway, my next door called to let me know she was heading to Columbia and could she help out.
I didn't get upset over the large dollar amount for two cars to be repaired (one alternator, one fuel coil, one PCV hose, a spark plug, two tires and 4 days of car rentals (you can just guess how much money I am talking about can't you).

I got through it all and can say without tears, cursing, yelling or getting depressed (ok maybe a little depressed today when I figured out how to pay for the unexpected expenses).

Who needs a vacation/cookie jar account anyway?

I know most of you are thinking, just break down an buy a new or newer car already !!  We just have seven more months and Jenn's student loans will be paid off (WOO HOO), then we can look for newer transportation.  Until then it's duct tape and paper clips holding the cars together.

I was told once by my good friend that worry does not do any good and neither does stress.

Maybe this week was a test to see how sincere I was about wanting to work on handling stress better.

I will continue to pray about it.  It was clear this week my prayers were answered.

All the issues that came up this week were unplanned but isn't that a big part of life? Unplanned events.

Two quotes this week:

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. - John Lennon

You are braver than you believe and stronger and smarter than you think.- Winnie the Pooh (I am really becoming a big fan of the wisdom of  Winnie the Pooh)

See you next week.

Making Our Own Happiness

As I remember it, my Dad was a pretty happy guy.

My Mom's happiness came from being with Dad, her children (most of the time) and of course, her grandchildren.

I know that no one goes through life whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-dah everyday.

But I do think we sometimes overlook the little things that can make us happy.

I know most appreciate:

-sunrises and sunsets
-time with family and friends
-laughter

I think where we sometimes lose our way is by depending on someone else for our happiness.

I do remember my Dad telling my Mom once "I cannot be your source of happiness."

I think that was harder for her to hear then for him to say.

Mom had built her whole world around him, he was the center of her universe.

They enjoyed their time together but Dad felt they each needed to have their own interests.

Mom did start playing golfs with the ladies,  She started going to dinner with her friends.

I don't think Dad always liked Mom's new interests.

He was used to dinner on the table when he was ready.  He was used to her being around to talk to when he wanted conversation

What is the saying, "be careful what you ask for"?

I do feel happiness has to come from inside.

As I have noted in other entries, I keep a journal in which I write five good things about each day.

I have not been faithful making my daily entries the last five months. 

I need to do a better job trying to find "my happiness" again.

Although others can add to it, I have to find the source of what makes me happy on my own.

Yes, I have enjoyed beautiful sunsets, unexpected gifts and some of the simple joys that are part of each day.

Still at times, I struggle.  I know I am struggling.  I know those close to me are aware of it too.

Added to the ever lengthening list of goals is to get back into the habit of writing my five good things list daily.

Trying not to let others impact my mood.

Once again, feeling blessed for each day I am given and not taking it for granted.

I know I have joy and happiness still inside me.

I just have to find it.

From my new favorite source of quotes:

"What day is it?”
“It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
“My favorite day,” said Pooh.
― A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

See you next week!

The Thanksgivings I Miss

The preparation always began the night before the big meal.

The shopping had been done during the week prior

Mom was the commander in the kitchen.  Anyone around for the holiday was part of the prep staff.

The smell of the chopped onions sauteed in butter filled the air as the base for the creamed spinach, creamed onions and sauteed mushrooms.The sausage was also cooking while we tore up the bread for stuffing. Shrimp was cleaned and cocktails sauce prepared.

The rest of the meal would be assembled the next day, when we returned from the parade.

Most times the fourth Thursday in November had a chill in the air or was down right cold.

Dad would load us all in the station wagon and off we went.

Trying to find a parking spot was always a challenge.  Dad would drive around looking for a free parking spot.  He always manager to maneuver into the smallest spots with ease.

Going to the parade was a treat.  We knew not to ask for any souvenirs or hot chocolate or big pretzels or roasted chestnuts. Mom and Dad just didn't have the extra money for those treats and we kids knew it.

The wind would whip down the streets of NYC through the tall buildings.

We would dress in layers. Even though we would bundle up, it was still cold.  Very cold.

Dad always took us to where the parade began uptown.  It would make our escape route that much easier.

The marching bands, the clowns and best of all was the balloons.

Since the parades purpose was to bring Santa to Macy's, the end of the parade was always Santa's float.

The minute Santa passed us, the race was on.  Dad herded us back to our station wagon in record time.  His goal, be back home by the time Santa had reached Macy's at 34th Street on TV.

Most years, he succeeded in his goal.

Back at home, the table was set.

The shrimp cocktail was placed in front of each place setting.

And this is when Mom worked her magic.

Various vegetables with sauces were finished, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, turnips were all somehow ready on time and came to the table piping hot.

I never figured out her ability to time all of the parts of the meal with such accuracy.

Finally, it was time to dig in.

Once the appetizers were done, they were quickly cleared away.

Next was the procession of the foods that made up the maim meal.

Dad of course carved the turkey.

I felt like the meal should last hours based on the time it took to prepare.

And it did go on much longer than our normal dinner.

The table was cleared and we all took a breather.

Meanwhile, as great a cook as my mother was when it came to cleaning up as she cooked Mom was a total failure.

The kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it.  A disaster area.  There wasn't an ounce of counter space to be seen.

During the break between dinner and dessert, the girls tackled the kitchen.

Mom's job was over and ours had just begun.

It took a long time to pack up the left overs and store them in the basement fridge, clean the floating potato skins out of the sink and make sure the turkey carcass had been picked clean.

Time to wash the dishes.  It was done in assembly line format.  Wash, dry and put away.  The good china stored away in the hutch for the next holiday.

Finally, the coffee was made and the apple, pumpkin and mince pies were all brought to the table.  Fresh made whipped cream in a bowl and vanilla ice cream all made an appearance.  If I was lucky, Chocolate Cracker Pudding had been heated and was ready to serve with it's sugar and butter sauce melting down it's sides.

The air was filled with conversation, laughter and the sound of the wood cracking in the fireplace in the sunken living room.  We could see the fire going from our dining room table.  And finally the sound of Christmas music could be heard from the stereo.

Perfection.

I have thought from time to time about how much I would love be able to go back to one of those holiday dinners.

Life changes, people move and we lose our loved ones.

This year, Jenn and I will get up and watch the parade.

We will put a fire in the fireplace.

Our dinner will be simple and starch laden.  Turkey breast, corn, real mashed potatoes, cranberries (in the shape of the can) and Stove Top stuffing will be our meal.

We won't use the good china.

There will not be a selection of pies for dessert.

I love pumpkin pie. Usually, I buy a cheap one and have one slice and pitch the rest.  I know it's a waste but I cannot have the rest of the pie in my house.  Otherwise within a week, I will have eaten the whole thing!!

We will have finished decoration by Thursday, we can finally turn on the tree lights.

We will watch football, listen to Christmas music and I am sure find a Christmas movie to watch.

Not exactly like the Thanksgiving dinners of my past.

But I will as I have every fourth Thursday of November, give thanks for those who have added to my life.

For the memories and the blessing I have received, I am truly thankful.


See you next week.

Maybe the fourth time is the charm?

I have written three drafts of blog entries for this week.

This is attempt number four.

The first was about views of life from my windows.

The second was about dreams.

The third was about whether it is better to know or not know about life events.

Each entry had possibilities.  I got stuck on trying to engage the five senses into each entry.

Sight, taste, touch, smell and hearing.

I want to put you all in a scene and make you feel like you are there.

I wanted to keep the entry light since I have been writing some heavier entries lately.

I couldn't come up with anything humorous.

I went back to the five senses.

Sight:
I could write about the amazing view driving across bridges yesterday to Pooler, Georgia. I never anticipated living in a location where the views would be so amazing.  I never take them for granted.  The water, the boats, the bridges and the smell of the sea air.

Or

I could write about what it felt like to see my first byline.  (OK this was very, very exciting!!)

Touch:
I could write about wonderful feeling of waking under a lot of covers in a chilly bedroom. (My fault for not putting the heat on and ignoring the reports of a 43 degree morning).

Or

I could write about how great the hot rocks and towels felt at my pedicure.

Smell:
I could write about the scent of the plough mud that has become associated with my life in the Lowcountry. 

Or

I could write about looking forward the smell of the Christmas Wreath candle starting on Thanksgiving Day.

Hearing:
I could write about hearing the leaves rustling past my window in the breeze bringing in cooler temperatures.

Or

I could write about liking a song I had never heard before. Then finding out it was made famous by Kermit in The Muppet Movie.

Taste:
I could write about the taste of a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup on a cool night

Or

 I could write about taste of the morning, coffee with pumpkin spice creamer or the taste of the evening, Tito's Vodka with Lite Minute Maid Fruit Punch (both improve my moods equally).

But for some reason, I couldn't figure out a way to pull the five senses into an entry. 

Or did I????

See you next week.

Advice from Winnie the Pooh

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever."
Winnie the Pooh

How many people have passed through my life that are gone?

The obvious people are Mom and Dad.

This time of year my memories of them are strongest.

Sitting on the deck in the cool crisp fall evenings.

Each one of us wearing one of Dad's cardigan sweaters.  (Trying to find a new color cardigan for him each year became quite a challenge).

Some trees with leaves hanging on in an array of colors from gold to red.

Our backyard covered with the leaves that had given up the fight.

And a few that landed on the deck surrounding our feet.

The smell of some fireplaces burning in the air.

The aroma of hot coffee in the mugs we were each holding.

At times the chill in the air was enough you almost wanted to give up the fight and go inside.

But something kept us there.

I would even get a jacket to put on over the cardigan of Dad's I had chosen for the evening.

Sometimes, I felt warm enough wrapped in the sweater and jacket, I would put my head back on the chair and close my eyes.

I could feel myself drifting off to sleep.

Dad would say. "Why don't you go inside Don?"

I would respond. "I am fine."

I wanted to hear the conversation.

I wanted to feel the love.

I wanted to savor the moment like a photograph.

I had no idea those evenings were numbered.

Leaves blowing across an empty deck past the now vacant table.

Dad would no longer be there holding court and directing the conversation.

-"keep me in your heart and I will stay there forever"

Mom is her house dress in the kitchen.

Cooking up a storm and never measuring a damn thing. The smell of Christmas cookies filling the house or sauce.

Talking her into dragging a beach chair into the middle of my backyard.  Then turning on the sprinkler on a hot day while Jenn ran back and forth getting wet.  Mom and I laughing at how foolish we probably looked. At least we weren't hot any more.

Sewing the hems I could not (somehow you never saw her stitches).

Watching her be the wife I could never be.

Hearing her say "Oh Donna" when I would talk to her about some of the challenges in my life.

Looking at her aging hands, no longer smooth like when she held mine when I was young. (I now have those same hands).

Remembering the last time she squeezed my hand.  Then she said, "I can't believe you are going home tomorrow."

Seeing her waving goodbye in the rear view mirror as we drove away from her.

Never seeing her again.

-"keep me in your heart and I will stay there forever"

Removing paintings from a wall and seeing pencil marks to make sure it would be hung level.

Seeing a can of flavored coffee.  How many times did you see that coffee being made?

Having someone advise you on how to climb out of the hole you have created.

Being told numerous times "worry does no good".

Having "garage talks" when appropriate.  These were usually over serious issues.  I was party to at least one as an adult.

Hearing our kids being told, "Sever all ties at graduation

" and the kids knowing what that meant and laughing at us,

Taking for granted there would be more days, weeks, months and years.

-"keep me in your heart and I will stay there forever"

See you next week.

A Week of Small Blessings

My mentor, friend and creative editor, Cindy Whitman, wrote this week about looking for blessings in a FB post.

Blessings is the theme for the November Issue of Pink Magazine (you know the one with my first byline, Donna Raboni Pizzolongo).

I thought about the blessings I experienced each day that may go unnoticed.

One thing I did notice was most of mine have to do with others.

I need to do a better job of being the reason for other people in my life to be thankful.

Here are some of what I experienced this past week.

I was recognized by my Underwriters for Bosses Day with an amazing flower arrangement.

I remembered to re-order my eye liner.  I normally procrastinate until I run out.

We commuted back and forth to Columbia safely.

Jenn also painted the living rooms ceiling where we had stains from air conditioner leaks.  It looks amazing ! And thank you to her phone-a-friend consultant, Meg !!

Jenn was able to find my iPhone lists that had suddenly disappeared off my phone.

On a kind of crazy day, my person (as in Gray's Anatomy with Christina and Meredith), Mary, had me "dance it out" when things a little crazy.  Next thing I knew, Bruno Mars "Uptown Funk" was playing in our office as we danced.....well kind of danced.

My sister received the birthday present I sent her. What else could someone wish for but a case of Reinzi Clam Sauce??

Jenn caught that I had been charged to automatically renew a magazine that I didn't want to renew.  One phone call and the issue was resolved.

I came into the office one morning and found breakfast waiting for me on my desk.

I went out to lunch with Jenn and Kathy.  The name of the place we went to is called Fat Patties. The food was amazing! I had a turkey burger with caramelized onions, mushrooms and blue cheese. YUM! They also make a great Bloody Mary!!

This morning when I woke up, I once again felt blessed for the lovely view I can see from the recliner in my bedroom.

I woke up to the sound of the wind.  The temperature had dropped.

I had the sliders open most of the day to enjoy the fresh air.

Finally, I had to close them because I was getting cold.

What a southern weenie I have become.

See you next week.

So Who Am I ?

I finished my first interview and submitted it to the Pink Magazine Editor.  She made some revisions which were not major (yeah!). It was still my interview.  I learned from the edits which is always good.  It will help me when my next assignment comes up.

The next question I was asked was how did I want my byline to appear?

My byline?  My first byline?

I had to think about it quite a bit.

Who am I?

I was born Donna Marie Raboni.

The name Rita was added when I was confirmed.

I got married.

I became Donna Pizzolongo or Donna R Pizzolongo or Donna Raboni Pizzolongo.

The Rita part faded after Confirmation.

The Marie part fell by the wayside over 36 years ago.

Maybe if my middle name had been more meaningful, I would have used it more.

But Marie??

Donna Marie's came a dime a dozen in the Bronx in the 50's and 60's.

Donna was actually 5th on the list of most popular names in 1960.  Now, it is number 3,514 on the list and according to google is facing extinction.

About 20 years ago, a parent came up to me at Jenn's elementary school and asked me if I would meet her daughter.  I said "Sure, but why?'  She told me her daughter was named Donna and she had never met anyone else with her name.

From popular to extinction in 60 plus years.

Bottom line is, I like the name Donna and it is who I am.

Does that mean my daughter's name, Jennifer, will some day fade away along with the Kimberly's and Heather's of the 1980's-1990's??

The nice part is my daughter's middle name is unique.

It is Leimomi, my Mom's Hawaiian name.  When she was young she hated it.  As I predicted, now as an adult she likes her middle name.  She has grown into it.  It also reminds her of Nannie and the Hawaiian part of her heritage.

Although I have to agree, Jennifer Leimomi Pizzolongo is quite a name.  At her graduation  for her BA and Master's she did have to go to the table where unique names were written out phonetically.

Unlike my middle name, Marie, it doesn't really sound unique and catchy.  Plain and simple.

Would I have picked Donna as my name, probably not. I love the name Gianna and I would have thrown in a Hawaiian middle name.

When it came to whether to use just Raboni or Raboni Pizzolongo, I had to think about it for 24 hours.

I was Donna Raboni for 26 years.

I have been Donna Pizzolongo for 36 years.

Now that I am divorced, do I go back to Donna Raboni?

The answer was no, I am Donna Pizzolongo.  That is that is the name most people know me by.

Yesterday, I was at a Beach Shack Writers Workshop.  Picture being on Hilton Head Island, sitting outside on lovely porch with a great view, the smell of the ocean in the air and a slight breeze (just enough for me to throw a light jacket over my shoulders.

We did four writing prompt. One on advice to our younger selves, one about a tattoo, one about something we are good at and bad at and finally four truths and a lie.

During some breaks in our writing assignments, we talked about our work. I love hearing what others have written, I love sharing and talking about topics such as dialog.

We even talked about my struggle to figure out my  byline.

I finally emailed my editor, Donna Raboni Pizzolongo was my decision.

It works and it is me.

See you next week!

Another New Experience at the End of a Relaxing Weekend

This was one of those rare weekends that didn't have an endless checklist of things to do. 

Maybe having Monday off took some of the pressure off.

Friday night, we (Jenn, Mary and me) arrived home around 8:00.

After getting comfy quickly, it was time to get some snacks prepared for dinner.

Saturday was much of the same.

Talking, coffee, movies and eating. 

We all managed break time to take showers and get back into pj's.

We ordered take out food a local restaurant and played cards for a few hours.

Once again , we stayed up late talking and watching TV.

Slept in Sunday morning and then, you guessed it, coffee, talking and TV.

Mary headed back to Columbia early afternoon.

Then I had my new experience.

Earlier in the week, my Editor had asked me if I would do an interview with someone for the November issue of Pink Magazine.

After the interview, I would write it up and send it to her for review and revisions.

I met the lady I was interviewing at Starbucks. 

We talked for over an hour as I took notes I would need later.

I wanted to get it right.  I wanted to ask the right questions. I wanted to make sure to scribble down the important facts to be able and write up the interview.

I headed home and started to write.

I didn't want to let the emotions, thoughts or words start of fade.

This was also my first time using a person's actual words vs paraphrasing or working from memory.

Before I knew it, I was done.

I emailed what I had written off to my Editor.

Here are my firsts:
-first interview
-first article in print for a magazine
-first byline....YEAH !!
-first time I will be paid for something I have written.......WOO HOO !!

I hope this opens the door to other writing opportunities in addition to my blog and seeing my book through to completion.

A new experience.  Something I needed right now.

Writing is taken a bigger place in my life.  I can see a future surrounded with words.

Blogs, articles, books, the possibilities are endless. 

Ideas and facts all floating around in my head waiting to be put down on paper.

Maybe I will actually come to a time in my life, where I will have a use for that special pen I have been holding on to for a book signing!!

See you next week.

Time of the Seasons

I do love the fall.

The change in the colors of the leaves.

College football.

Sweater weather and a nip in the air (well that may be a bit off in SC).

Apple and pumpkin spice everything.

The desire to make soup.

It is hard for me to believe that I am putting away the summer tablecloths and decorations.

Time to put out the Halloween tablecloth that I have used for the last 25 - 30 years.  It is one of my favorites and obviously has held up to the test of time.

The plate rack will have Dracula, Frankenstein, a witch and a pumpkin.

The dining room table will have plates with fall leaves on them

The  clear glass pumpkin will takes its place in the center of the table.

The Halloween Dept. 56 buildings will be placed on the sofa table.

The orange and black wreath will hang on the door, near the Halloween banner.

The pumpkins and mums I will purchase tomorrow will be placed on the front porch.

I will be able to sit in the screened in porch and drink my coffee.  No ceiling fans required.

The only negative to this time of year, I hate that it gets dark early.

I leave for work in the dark and arrive home in the dark.

I miss the daylight.

I used to hate raking leaves. It is one of the chores I used to dread.

Not one of the autumn things I miss.

I guess that is the price we pay for the beauty of the change in seasons.

Each season has something to offer.

In the Spring, the flowers blooming, seeing people out of hibernation and days getting longer.

In the Summer, pools, picnics, baseball, barbecues, vacation and central air (especially here in the south).

In the Winter, the possibility of snow (we even had a snow event here last January), the smell of fireplaces and there is something beautiful about the stark bareness of the trees.

Each season has scents associated with them too.

Christmas trees, apple pie, burgers on the grill and spring rain provide our brains with a mental reminder of what time of year we are in.

As we head into the autumn of the year and the toward signing "Auld Lang Syne", we think of the year past.

The good, the bad, the happy and sad.

We have arrived at the time of year for pumpkins.

And yes, I will be watching Hallmark Christmas movies starting Oct. 26th,  Yes, I said October so get over it !!

Soon, we will be shopping for our turkeys and on the lookout for Black Friday ads.

We will barely step away from the Thanksgiving table to lighting the Christmas tree.

This year, I will be decorating the week of turkey day. since I will be on vacation that week. I promise not to light up the house until the bird has been devoured.

And that will be it for 2018, one of my most challenging years will come to an end.

Along with the tough times there have been some good moments.

I will put them all in the memory album of my mind.

I wrote a blog entry a while back that said once Memorial Day is over the rest of the year flies.

And I was right.

But in the circle of life this is how it goes, season to season, holiday to holiday, burgers to soups, baseball to football.

Each year from January to December goes quicker and quicker.

I just wish it would slow down just a little bit.

See you next week!

Trying to get a good night's sleep....

I love the few minutes before I fall asleep at night.

I have my covers wrapped around me.

As I relax and drift off to sleep.

A few years ago, I chose to no longer share my bed. I started sleeping in my recliner. It made sense to me at the time.  I didn't realize that it would be a challenge a few years later to go back to sleeping in bed.

I used to love sleeping on my side.  Now my hips and knees hurt.  I sleep on my back or stomach.

But I am still not up to a full night in bed. It is frustrating.

I will wake up during the night get out of the recliner and climb into bed.

Then I toss and turn.

When I stay at my friend Mary's house each week, I choose to sleep on the couch.

And I sleep pretty great.

I do wake up every now and then but usually fall back to sleep pretty quickly.

Now, I have to figure out how to lay in my bed like I do on the couch.

Maybe I need to use my body pillow like the back of the couch so I don't try to sleep on my side.

Then I have to situate my pillows like the arm on the couch with a throw pillow on it.

You would think this would be an easy task but it's not.

Maybe instead of the nightshirt I wear at home, I need to sleep in shorts and a t shirt.  It is easier to move in the latter but more comfy in the former.

I shouldn't have to think this much about sleeping in my nice comfy bed.

I never thought when I gave up  sleeping in my bed that it would be forever.

If I had known I wouldn't have given it up so easily.

It was one of those rash decisions that I am paying for now.

Due to this sleeping issue, it makes traveling and overnights a challenge.  Unless there is a recliner nearby.  If there is no recliner around, I climb into bed.

Then I stress about not being able to sleep. (I know the stress part surprises you!)

The saying goes"it takes 30 days to make something a habit" .

Unfortunately, breaking a habit isn't quiet as easy.

I feel confident that eventually, I will be back in my bed every night all night.

Hopefully, sooner than later.

Such a simple thing that we all take for granted.

I just have to stop thinking about it.

I just have to not obsess about it.

I also need my sleep.  If I toss and turn that doesn't work either.

I will keep trying.

I am sure one night not too far off, I will drift off to sleep and wake in the morning feeling well rested, in my bed.

"To sleep per chance to dream", maybe Shakespeare had trouble sleeping in bed too??

I am starting to feel tired.

Maybe, I will give it a shot?

See you next week!

(The bitmoji below seems more appropriate now that you know where I spend part of my sleeping hours.)

Not the week I planned on........

Last Sunday, I had my week all set.

Monday, a day off.  Jenn and I going to our friend, Mary's house.

It was her birthday.  We were going to hang out and watch movies. We were spending the night.

The rest of the week BAU. Work.

The day went as planned through our first movie.

Then a news bulletin. 

The governor ordered the mandatory evacuation of all the coastline counties due to impending Hurricane Florence.

Jenn and I headed back to our place. 

Now remember we had already driven 150 miles to Mary's.

Another 150 miles back to the house.

We arrived home at 6:30. 

We then had what I think of as a three hour fire drill.

This involves walking around the house and taking down what needed to go with us.

Important papers, med's, cash, checkbooks, credit cards, jewelry and items that cannot be replaced. 

YES, there are items that cannot be replaced!!

I know, I know, people cannot be replaced but neither can the painting of Dad's courthouse, Mom's Christmas Angels, the wind chimes with Mom's ashes and the only ornament I still have from Mom and Dad's Christmas Tree.

(the courthouse painting and Christmas angels)

We close blinds, unplug things, move things away from the windows and mark off on the list the things we need to do to secure the house.

By 9:30, we are back on the road.

Already tired. 

Another 150 miles to go.

Traffic is heavy as if it is the rush hour.  Most likely, drivers like us trying to get a rush on the lane reversals that were starting Tuesday morning.

We finish our 450 miles of driving at 12:45 AM.

We bring in the essentials. 

I fall asleep quickly. 

Next thing I know, it is after 7:00 AM.

The rest of the week, we stay at Mary's. 

I watch the weather reports and try not to let it consume me.  I am not successful at that part of my thought process.

The governor lifts the evacuation for Beaufort County on Wednesday.

Now, I try to decide what to do.

It makes sense to stay the rest of the week since the lane reversals are still in effect.

Friday night, the wind starts to pick up in Lexington.  The good news is the lanes are now back to their normal patterns.

The weather reports for Lexington/Columbia are not so great.

Jenn loads up the cars and we are on the road by 9:30.  A quick stop to pick up Jeter and off we go in our two car caravan.

We drive in some rain and wind.

The whole trip I see less than five tractor trailers which in itself is amazing.  One of my concerns was driving next to tractor trailers in high winds.

We pull back in our driveway around 1:30.

HOME!!!!

Everything looks fine.

The unpacking and putting things back in place begins. 

At some point, I sat down in the recliner.  I wake up an hour later.

Today, we are continuing to get back to normal. 

It was a nerve wracking week to say the least.

We had a hurricane impact our area last year too and there was one the year before we moved here.

And for 50 out of 52 weeks the year, it has been so worth it (we had a snow/ice event in January and the hurricane now).

It is the price I pay for living where I do.

See you next week!

PS Thank you Mary Mefford !! Once again the Mefford Inn provided wonderful accommodations and made us feel at home.

I Hate When I Don't Write It Down

I had a great idea for my blog entry this week.

Did I write it down? Ugh NO !!

Am I sitting here thinking what was that brilliant idea? Yes.

Maybe if I start writing about the week it will come to me.

OK so we are under a State of Emergency right now due to a possible hit from a hurricane.

Made a list of what to take that is not replaceable.

I know people say you can replace anything but people.  Wrong.

I cannot replace the painting of the courthouse my father tried many of his cases in.

I cannot replace the Christmas angels my Mom made me on her last visit before she died.

I cannot replace the pillow made out of material that was found in Mom's apartment after she passed.

Yes, I have included on my list to take: the important paper bin, med's, cash, jewelry.

The cars each have a full tank of gas.

We bought two cases of water.

We have batteries, lots of batteries.

If they order an evacuation, we have to get back here from Lexington/Columbia asap to get our stuff.

Then drive both cars up to Columbia/Lexington.

The weather alert warning went off once and scared the hell out of me.

I am watching the weather reports.

We brought in most of the things we had outside the house, just in case.

We do not have storm shutters.

We did shut all the windows on the porch.

I do not know if we have hurricane proof windows (but think that's a no).

And only last week, I got a quote for flood insurance.  When the agent called me about it, I was on a conference call.  I told her I would call her back.  Did I? No.  So I won't be able to get flood insurance until AFTER the hurricane passes.  Darn conference calls.

Now we just wait and see what happens.

But that wasn't what I wanted to write about ugh.

I did get two gifts this week from my friend, Jenn.  A damn-it blessing box and a lovely pendant that was exactly what I had told her I was looking for and it was her grandmother's which makes it even more special.

THAT"S IT !!!!!! 

I REMEMBERED WHAT I WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT !!!!!

The ages of friends !!

I always used to think that friends had to be close to my age. 

And when you are young that is true.

I am not sure when that fact changes  but it has for me.

I have friends who are older than me.

I have friends my age.

I have friends younger than me.

I think the younger friendships are interesting.  It has to do with life experience.

Younger friends have younger children, teenagers or children in college.  I did once too.

Friends my age or older have grandchildren and I see the joy of that life experience.

I have friends that are single, married, divorced or have lost a spouse.

I have friends that have retired.

I have friends that won't be retiring for a long time.

I have friends that love sports. I have friends that hate sports.

I have friends that travel.  I have friends that like to stay home.

I have friends with varied interests from knitting to photography.  

Not a writer among them until recently.

Due to attending writing seminars/classes and having a developmental editor have opened up the opportunities to new friendships in the writing world. 

I guess that's part of what makes life interesting not just spending time with people the same and and with identical experiences.

Each friend adds something to my life and I hope I do to theirs.

I have laughed until I cried with them.

I have cried until I couldn't cry any more with them.

They put up with me and my many moods. I do appreciate that so much!

Friends are different from family.

Unlike family where you have no options, you choose your friends which makes them special. 

Yes, you can have family that you would have chosen as friends.

Who wouldn't want to be chosen?

I do not take the word friend lightly.  I have a lot of acquaintances.

I am also blessed to have some very good friends. even best friends.

I know I sound like a 12 year old saying friend, good friend and best friends.

Sometimes friendships happen quickly when you have an unusual shared experience.

Some friendships fade as our lives change.

And the best are the friendships that endure the test of time. You may not always agree but they always have your back.

Well, I am glad I remembered what i wanted to write about today !!

Even if it took half an entry to get there.

See you next week !

PS a little prayer that we do not have to evacuate would be appreciated!!

PPSS Cindy, You were right, your told me "just write" and it worked!!

PPPSSS Cindy, Note # two- I did have to look at my notes from yesterday to see if I write out the number vs using the numeral.  See I do listen to you !!

PPPPSSSS Cindy, Note # three- yes I will work on my timeline.  Maybe during the hurricane !

It's A Lot Harder Than I Expected- Writing and Life

The writing part:

I have always had a great respect for authors.

I knew it was hard work.

Until I finally started getting serious about my book, I didn't really understand how hard.

Trying to get my writing done in between my full time job can be a challenge.  Add the long commutes, housework, bills to be paid and all the other routine tasks of life makes it more daunting.

I envy those who can spend their days writing.  I try to carve out time and once I get going it is hard to stop.  Fortunately, I have Cindy (my developmental editor) to email me and prod me  and remind me I haven't sent her any new material.

Yesterday, I knocked out a lot of entries. I had been at it for 13 hours.

I emailed what I had written for review and suggestions at after 1:00 AM !

I had thought when I first started writing my order would be logical. I would move ahead in some kind of an orderly timeline.

That is not the case.

I am reworking what I have already submitted and then try to follow that part in some kind of order.

Then another thought pops into my head.  I can see it, feel it and hear it so clearly I start putting the words down as quickly as I can.

If a thought comes to me, I now add it to my notes in my phone so I don't forget it later.

Did I really think every word I wrote was perfect? Yes.

Did I think my original idea for the book would change so drastically? No.

Did it ever dawn on me the revisions can be a challenge? No.

But there I sat at 1:00 AM. still writing.

Words, sentences, ideas all kept flowing like a faucet that couldn't be turned off.

My brain was tired and my eyes were burning.

I knew once I stopped  for more than a minute I would fall asleep quickly.

That is unless another idea for an entry popped into my head.


The life part:

I know a lot of it has to do with me.

In previous posts, I have gone on about my inability to be impulsive. Why on earth do I get sad when I see others making decisions or doing things that I would like to do but just can't.

Finances play a part in my decisions.

Trying to get out of my comfort zone is a continual battle.

Seeing people step out with the appearance of no concerns is something I admire.

Doing things alone is very, very hard for me.  The reality is I have to push myself or end up not going out often.

Yes, I know when I have gone it alone more times than not  and I have had a good time.

Operating without a safety net is not my specialty.

With a certain amount of encouragement from you and maybe a little gumption, I will get over myself and stop thinking it's all about me!


Let me end by sharing some good things about the week:
-pumpkin spice is all over the place
-enjoying a 4 day weekend
-spent some time Friday night with my neighbors and had a lovely time and better yet they sent me   home with some barbecued chicken wings which Jenn and I devoured for dinner
- and college football is back !!!! GO COCKS !!!!


And along with start of football a little outside decoration was required.

See you next week !

Twenty Years Ago

"Do not walk through time without leaving worthy evidence of your passage" Pope John 23rd

When I left New York on August 1,1998, I felt equal amounts of excitement and fear.

We left NY around 6:00 AM.

Everything we owned was in the Ryder moving truck and we had the Honda on a trailer hooked up to the truck.

I was at the wheel.  Bob had the map. Jenn in the jump seat.  Our dog was on the floor sound asleep thanks to some med's from the vet.

As we pulled out of Haven Terrace, I was in tears. This house was also next to the one I lived in with my parents from 1970 until I got married in 1982.

Our home for the previous thirteen years grew smaller in the rear view mirror.

I wanted to get on the road early so we could avoid another round of goodbyes with my family. I was leaving them behind too.

I cried most of the way down the Jersey Turnpike.

Driving the truck was nerve wracking.  I kept asking "is the Honda still behind us?"

I did not know how to back up the truck.  I had to remind myself to make sure where ever we stopped I could pull out straight ahead.

Since we left New York, our old home was torn down.  That made me cry.

Fast forward to 2018.

How could it have been twenty years?

What did I learn after the move?

We learned to say M'am or it is Ma'm or is it Ma'am and Sir.

I now love grits, collards, black eyed peas and boiled peanuts.

And I have become a snob about shrimp.  No better way to buy it than out of a cooler behind a shrimp boat that has just docked.  The shrimp do need their heads removed, I do NOT do that part of the prep.

And OMG I learned about college football!!

What part of New York is still with me?

I still say "you guys" no matter the makeup of the group vs the "Y" word.

I still say cawfee, sawce and tawse vs coffee, sauce and toss.

And I still love my NY Yankees and NY Giants.

I started working for Wachovia Bank August 24, 1998.  It was probably the best company I ever worked for in my many years in banking. The people there became not only my friends they became my family. Sadly, Wachovia is no more but the friendships continue.

I have been a TD Bank for 7 years as a manager.  It is not Wachovia but then again I don't think many places are like it was anymore.  I like my job, most days, as so many of us do. TD is a solid company which is great as I have seen so many companies fall by the wayside during my work career.

Jenn finished high school, college and graduate school since we moved here.  She is now in her 7th year working at USC and her 7th year as an instructor for University 101.

We built a house in Columbia that was ours for 17 years.

We sold it last year.

Now the Lowcountry is where we call home.

The twenty years has flown.  In that time, I have seen the world change in so many ways.  And I have changed along with it.

I am now single.

I now no longer assume tomorrow is guaranteed.

I miss the family gatherings I used to take for granted.

I would like the days, weeks, months and years to slow down just a little bit.

And I finally look at writing as a profession not just a hobby.

Although I cannot get back the days in New York.  I do have my memories of the wonderful life I had there.

But South Carolina and especially where I live now is so much more than I ever expected.

Never did this New Yorker think I would embrace this life as much as I have.

I feel blessed and incredibly lucky that all the twists and turns in the roads led me here.

See you next week!

PS a little sign that Fall is heading our way, this arrived today!!