Tough Choices

Last year, it was my idea to send Bob to see his family for Thanksgiving. It was his choice to spend Christmas with his family.

This year, it is my decision to send Bob to NY for both holidays. The flights have been booked and paid in full. No turning back. I do not want to be stressed out if I do not have "events" planned and want to do what I want. Bob will be happy to spend the time with his family and I will not have someone complaining if we have no "events" planned. Jenn doesn't have any problem with it just being us or maybe hooking up with friends at some point. I know it is months away but gives me some piece of mind to know the decision has been made and it is one less thing to worry about. I also told Bob the 2 trips are his Christmas present so that means I don't have to do any shopping for him. I know he will not shop for us and will not even realize he won't be around for my birthday (so that puts the pressure on the rest of you to make my birthday fabulous......LOL). That is OK....I have gotten used to him forgetting my birthday and only shopping for me if Jenn goes along. I gave up a long time ago on expecting any surprises from him. I am one of those people who hears you say you would like to have something and writes it down as a future potential present....Bob wants me to write a list....what fun is that??

The old Donna would have suffered through the holidays trying to please everyone and in the end most likely it would not have measured up to the Norman Rockwell expectations placed before me. The new (and improved) Donna is trying to deal with the life's challenges as best she can and taking herself into consideration for a change. Will I regret these choices on Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?? Maybe? Am I nervous.....definitely. After all the great holidays I experienced when I was young, I somehow feel I have failed. In the New Year, I can take stock and decide if my choice about the holidays was right.

There will be a day sometime soon when Jenn will be spending the holidays with her own family and that is as it should be. I will have to figure out a new plan then and that's OK.....I can only deal with all of this one day at a time.........