Why I Need To Keep My Glasses On

Most people get to a point in life where they need glasses or contact lenses.....something to assist with their vision.  Do you know how hard it is to put on make-up with glasses on?  And it can be a nightmare with glasses off.  But in order to do my eye make-up, eyeliner and mascara...... I have to do it minus the glasses.  So I kind of squint one eye to focus while I am applying my make-up to the other eye.....not a pretty picture.  Most times it turns out OK.  But it is a little funny because it is sort of like a surprise party.....until I finish and am able to put the glasses back I am not sure how accurate I have been...

There are times when I have almost grabbed the wrong toothbrush, right guard instead of hair spray and eye brown pencil instead of eyeliner.  This week I grabbed the hair spray (labeled hair lacquer) instead of the stuff that gives my hair volume.  I sprayed at the roots of my hair all over my head.  Then I grabbed the blow dryer that is rounded that curls and adds volume to my hair.  All of a sudden the blow dryer is stuck in my hair and as I try to get it out I am ripping the hair from my head.  You all know how paranoid about my hair!!!!  I put on my glasses and look at the can.....and see my mistake.  UUGGHH!!! Now what do I do?  Do I have time to shower again?  NO.   Do I have time to stick my head under the faucet in the kitchen sink and just wash my hair? NO.  So now I very gently start to pull my hair apart and brush it.....the only problem is the brush I have is one of those with the hard but bendable plastic teeth.  I continue to separate the hair and then brush a small section.  Now is my hair has either built up static electricity or is starting to fizz up or is staying on the brush (my biggest nightmare).  This is not a pretty sight. I take out the curling iron and heat it up.  As it touches my hair I hear a sound that can only be the sound of all the junk in my hair burning my hair.  I finally end up with a look that if we painted NY on the side of my head would put me on a football field with Eli Manning.  Yes, my hair looks like I have a football helmet on. 

I have no choice but to go to work with it as it is.  No big deal....no one will have the nerve to say anything to me about this stupid hairdo.  I will just hide in my cube and try to avoid as many people as possible.  And if someone comes to see me with a question or to talk to me about something......I will just smile and act like I wanted my hair to look like this.....how would they know other wise....LOL.

I have my plan....lay low for 8 hours and then get the hell out of the office.  I slip in the back door, get set up at my desk for the work day and pull up my outlook calendar.  The first thing from my calendar to pop up is a reminder..........I have someone coming in for a job interview at 10:00 AM.....oh crap!!!!  Well let's hope she is so nervous she won't remember the idiot across the table from her with some crazy hair going on........

Chinese proverb:  always wear eye glasses when reaching into cabinet otherwise you may look like a fool.........OK lesson learned......class dismissed!!!