So How Did I Do This Week????

OK let's just get it over with.........I was up at the scale this week......but not much at all and definitely much less than I could have been or have been other years.  I am still down a lot from Thanksgiving which means I met my goal of weighing less at the end of the year than I did at the end of November.  I am calling it  a victory for me!!!

On Monday, Jenn and I went to see "It's A Wonderful Life" on the big screen at the Nickelodeon Theatre.  We only purchased plain popcorn and brought our own popcorn topping. Nothing like seeing a Christmas classic in a movie house vs. on TV.

Jenn and I did our annual day before Christmas Eve dinner.  We went to the Cowboy Brazilian Steakhouse. It was one of those places where they come around with the meat on skewers and you can say yes or no. I tried a variety of meats but not too much and asked for small portions. I made wise choices at the salad bar and stayed away from the potato's, rice, rolls and high calorie salad dressings.  I also passed on dessert.  But I did have 2 drinks and that was what put me over my daily allowance of points and put me into using some of my weekly points.


My Christmas Eve strategy worked......for the most part.  I was not able to find turkey salami (I have seen it before) but did use turkey pepperoni in the antipasto along with roasted peppers, black and green olives...... mozzarella, fresh provolone and genoa salami.  I only ate the pepperoni, fresh mozzarella, roasted peppers and olives and passed on the provolone and salami.  There was also blue cheese dip to die for......I put it at the other end of the table with assorted crackers.  Closer to me was the fat free cottage cheese mixed with dry ranch dip with celery in lieu of chips or crackers.  I did have a few pizza bagels but passed on the potato skins.  I had one yes one baked clam.  Instead of the hot dogs wrapped in bacon and covered with brown sugar and butter......I had fat free turkey hot dogs wrapped in turkey bacon with nothing else on top of it.  I did indulge in 2 chocolate chip cookies and had one drink of vodka and low fat fruit punch (15 calories per 16 oz serving). Overall  not too bad!!


Christmas Day, I made stuffed shells for dinner.  I had 4 of them and took my time savoring each bite.  They were yummy!!!!



We cleaned out the fridge of any temptations known as Christmas leftovers. The biggest issue for me was the cookies.......I love the cookies we make at Christmas.  On Christmas Eve, I sent my sister's family home with my favorites....thumbprints.  I also sent the pinwheels....another favorite.  But we still had so many cookies left.  Yesterday, Jenn and I packed them up in two big disposable trays and took them to the Oliver Gospel Mission.  They were delighted for the donation and I was delighted to have the cookies that scream my name gone.  It was also nice to think of them being served for dessert last night to some homeless people.

I did track everything....and I mean everything!!!

I had been reading a lot of entries on the Weight Watchers page on FB and those entries gave me the courage to go to my weigh in this morning. After the meeting, I bought a few new things such as the Power Foods book, the starter kit (which included plates, benito box, a cookbook and a bunch of coupons), two bowls which have a variety of measurements and some of the snacks (pretzel bars, chocolate shakes and sour cream popped snacks).  I think that is a good start for 2015.

While I wasn't perfect this week......I wasn't very bad either.  And we are now past the worst of the holidays......I am not a big New Year's Eve or New Years Day person so I am not concerned as much about this week.

I have ambitious goals for 2015.....but I am not sharing them with you......LOL.  I will of course let you know when I have accomplished them....LOL!!!!

I wish you all a Very Happy New Year filled with only the good things that life has to offer.  And as we say at Weight Watchers.....you can expect to see less of me next year......

I Am Worried and Stressing....how unusual for me..... Surviving Christmas.........

If you know me well enough you know I can find just about anything to stress or worry about.......anything!!

I could make a career of worrying......

What if the air conditioning breaks down in August?

What if it rains when I plan to go to the beach?

What is my car needs tires?

What if I over sleep?

What if, what if, what if...........

So here is my new worry.....

I am down 32.8 pounds so far on Weight Watchers since September......that is great.....right? But I am still worrying and maybe it is justified......

This will be my toughest week.......I love Christmas Eve Day.....it is my favoriate day of the year........and Christmas Day runs a close 2nd.......but we all know what that means.........

Food glorius food.  Treats we do not enjoy all year round.....we have a chance to eat during those few precious days.  I want to eat a Thumbprint cookie, I want to eat a hot dog wrapped in bacon, I want a baked clam, I want some hot and cold tortolini.......I want, I want, I want.......

Do you see where I am going with this????

With the Weight Watchers program, I am  allowed to have all of those things....within reason.....watching the portions.....and practicing self-control.

And that is why I am stressing and worrying........it is so hard to have one cookie.  I want two or three.  One baked clam.....maybe.  But those cute little hot dogs.........I can pop several of them in my mouth without blinking.

I don't want to go back to WW next week and be up on the scale........I am hoping to hit the 35 pound mark by the first week-end of the New Year.

Normal people do not think about food 24/7......I do. I have to in order to plan.

So I sit here the Sunday night of Christmas week trying to figure out how to do it??  Have I learned enough to just eat one cookie?  I am not sure.  Can I eat celery with cottage cheese mixed with ranch dip while the rest are having lucious blue cheese dip with pretzels? Can I choose between the hot and cold tortolini?

The answer is ........I DON"T KNOW !!!!!

I have worked really hard to get where I am but it has also been easy up until now because the temptations were not there.......now they will be spread out before me.....

All I can do is try.....and try I will.  I just let out a big sigh because this will be so challenging for me and my WW buddies.  Tomorrow morning,  I will grab my iphone and start planning my week.

Oh crap, I hadn't even thought about drinks......yes, alcohol.......ugh!!!!

Well, next Sunday I will be at my WW meeting either a success or a failure........but bottom line is.......am I really a failure or just a failure in my own mind??  I am not going to gain back all that weight I have lost if I slip up.......right?

Please send me some good vibes and  positive  thoughts this week.....lots of them!!!!

I don't see a huge difference in my ass or thighs but I did compare two picture recently......not full body of course.......not ready for that yet........but when I compare the two pictures I do see a difference.......is it just me or do you see it too??

Have a Merry Christmas!! Yes, I said it ....not Happy Holidays.....MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

See you next week!!!!

Finding Answers......

There are a few things I am finding the answers to slowly but surely......

Such as......

Like to song says "Where Are You Christmas?".......

I had a hard time this week missing my Mom.  Just 4 short years ago she was in my house helping me get ready for the holiday.  I can see her in the kitchen as if it was yesterday. But I have sought out Christmas in other ways.......Jenn and I drove through a local cemetary last week on the night of their luminary ceremony.  It was so beautiful to see!! Today, we went over to the VA Hospital to watch the Vet's Christmas Charity Ride.  We sat on the back of my car and watched motorcycles that were part of the ride drive into the VA for over 30 minutes.  It was great to see and Jenn will be posting some pictures on FB later. Last night, Jenn and I baked cookies.......again. We have baked cookies for the last 3 weeks.....once for Jenn's class, once to mail to family, this weekend it was for Jenn's office cookie day tomorrow.  OK we get a late start.....about 8:00 PM and finished at 3:00AM....yes I said 3:00AM.  To keep me going Jenn asked questions about the Christmas's I had when I was young......it brought back great memories. We have also been sharing daily pictures of our Elf that my grandniece, Victoria, has named  Aurora.  Aurora has had many adventures in the last two weeks...LOL.  Last night while baking, we watched Rudolph, Frosty and Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.....as I was singing (not very well) one of the songs "Put One Foot In Front Of The Other"....Jenn said Mom that is what you are trying to do....which is true.....

So I am finding Christmas.....in moments.....in seconds.....in laughter......in memories........

Next question......

How do you go out to dinner with friends and eat healthy?

Yes, you do research. I knew not having an appetizer would be hard so Jenn ordered salsa and I pulled out a bag of cut up celery from my pocketbook (talk about class) but you know what....it worked.  I had something to munch on while we chatted.  Dinner was easy because I was able to look up the nutritional info and the points for my choices.  Sad to say.....no drinks or dessert but not saying never again ...... just not today.....

And........

How am I doing with weight loss during the holiday season?

In the past, I was happy to get through without much of a gain.  This year, I am trying to get through it all with a loss. And so far so good.....I was down .6 pounds today. I know that is not a huge amount but it is still down and more than 2 sticks of butter!! Speaking of butter....Jenn had me hold on to just 3 pounds of butter the other night to see how heavy it was.....I was surprised at how heavy it felt.  Then she said times that by more than 9 and that is how much you have lost already.  I want to get to that 30 pounds so bad.......I hope to be there by the last weigh-in of the year or the first one for the New Year. Keeping my fingers crossed and my mouth shut!!

Finally.....

Why do I weigh in on Sunday morning?

There are a few reasons.....

First....I used to weigh in on Friday or Saturday and then felt I could "cheat for a day" since I had almost a week until my next weigh in.  By waiting until Sunday morning, the week end is over and most reasons to cheat are gone.  See how crazy my mind is....who thinks like that????

I also love my WW leader, Kay, she is funny, honest and motivates us each week!!

I have gotten to bond with some of the people in my class.  They are my WW family and everyone is so encouraging.  I am also amazed at the feedback from the WW FB pages I belong to.........they share likes and praises and suggestions.....all trying to help me and others reach their goal.

So this Christmas.....it is not all about food.....it is about luminaries in the dark, vet's on motorcycles, baking but not having to eat, the  music, the decorations and of course the feeling that anything is possible.....my Dad made me believe that about Christmas.......and I still do.

See you next week!!!!

PS Bob update....Bob is doing much better ....he is getting around and taking daily walks.  I took him with me shopping yesterday and we were out for several hours.  He kept up with my but like a little kid who has had too much fresh air he crashed as soon as we got home.  Today, he went out with Jenn for a few hours.  I know he is scared and I don't blame him!! But he is getting a little stronger each day!!!

So There Is Supposed To Be Space Between My Stomach and the Steering Wheel?????

I noticed it today.........I probably should have noticed it before.  My t shirts no longer have a mark from the steering wheel rubbing against it in my car.  I looked down today and there is quite a gap there now. WOW!!

What's next?? Is it  true that your thighs are not required to rub together when you walk or is that just a vicious rumor???

It has been quite a week......

Monday was my birthday.  Pretty non-eventful.....actually it kind of sucked.  Jenn did give me an amazing wreath with a beach theme for Chapter 3.  Other than that there were no mariachi bands or flower deliveries or anything like that but at my age what the hell was I expecting????

Wednesday, I had my semi-annual Dr. appt......when the appt starts with your dr. giving you a high 5 and then grins as he goes over all your numbers from your blood work and tells you how great your numbers look....how can you not feel wonderful.  He said he might have to cancel his appointments for the rest of the day because none of them would be as good as mine!! I told him to not look outside because I was going to be dancing in the parking lot....LOL....and a dancer I am not!!! LOL

Thursday started out like Thanksgiving always does in my house.....we watched the parade or really had it on as background noise while I got the turkey breast in the oven.  We were going to eat early since Bob had to go to work at 3.  Then a really great surprise......my sister showed up at my house.  She lives 100 miles away and drove down to spend a few hours with me. It was a real treat to have her here and the fact she spent over 3 hours in the car for a 3 hour visit touched me ........and made me think about how my Mom would have done something like that.....

After my sister left, Jenn and I did our Black Friday thing until midnight on Thursday (yes, I am one of those horrible people who went shopping on Thanksgiving) and then we went out again Friday morning before I had to sign on to work.

Saturday, we decorated the inside of the house.  We will get the outside done this week.

But today or I should say this morning was amazing!!!! I left the house for my Weight Watcher meeting on time!!! I prayed as I drove there that I would be down the .6 pounds I needed to hit my 25 pound loss.  When I got on the scale, the lady who weighs me said "you had a great week"......I said how much......it turns out I had lost 3.8 pounds!!!! I blew past my 25 pound goal!!!!!

I told my leader, Kay, I wanted to share my blog entry for last week with the group.  Once the meeting started, she told everyone I had a great week and wanted to share something with them.  I read my entry from last week "A View From The Fat Section".  I was nervous but really wanted to share it.  A few minutes later I was done reading and then something happened that has never happened to me in my whole life.......they gave me a standing ovation......I was overwhelmed.  Several people said it was like I had climbed inside their head and they understood exactly what I was saying.  Some even asked for my blog link (and I think I gave them the wrong info...LOL ....oh well I will correct it next week).

But here are some of the numbers that amaze me besides the numbers at the scale......
I posted on my own FB page about what had taken place and received 74 likes and 36 comments
On the New Weight Watchers....One Day At A Time FB page I had 73 likes.
On the Weight Watchers Support/Discussion Group FB page I had 57 likes.
On the Weight Watchers.....One Day At A Time (this is a different group than the one that has New in the title) on FB I had 194 likes and 28 comments.
My blog had been viewed at a much much higher number than usual !!!!

This made me feel great!!!! The support from family, friends and strangers has been beyond my expectations.  Now I am even more determined to keep moving ahead one pound at a time.

I guess the one hard thing for me is that when you are big like me your weight loss doesn't stand out as much for a while......I have my little WW book that shows how much I am down but the person in the mirror will have to wait a while longer for the reflection to change enough for me or anyone else to see.

Well now I need to focus on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day but as one very wise member said at my meeting today about Thanksgiving.....it wasn't Thanksgiving that got to this place........it was the other 364 days that did us in.......very wise and very true........

View from the Fat Section......

I promise this is not a depressing entry.....just my honest thoughts from where I sit......and a positive twist at the end.

I started life at 10 lbs 4 oz.....on Thanksgiving Day.....yup the size of a small turkey but big for a little girl.

It is safe to say I haven't been happy with my weight in over 30 years......maybe even longer than that.....I would probably have to go back to my teenage years.....and even then I weighed more than most of my friends.

I can say for sure is it was before I was pregnant with Jenn that I was some what content with how I looked and we know how long ago that was.....

Then life gets in the way and you put yourself on the back burner.  You get busy raising our family, buying your first home, changing jobs as I progressed in my career.....just stuff ......lots and lots of stuff.

And somewhere along the way .......I lost myself.

For years you just push it out of your mind.  You know you need to lose weight and you try.....I have tried so many ways.....you name the diet and I have probably tried it.  You find excuses and reasons to put it off.  You act like you don't care but you do.  You act like you don't hurt but you do.  People try to talk to you about it and you get mad at them and yourself.

You hate asking for the extender for your seat belt in a plane, you hate the way the person you sit next to on the plane looks at you, you worry about fitting in the booth at a restaurant, you fear a chair my not hold your weight, you look longingly at clothes in regular clothing stores, you avoid having your picture taken, you avoid going into a room of strangers, you assume when you hear people laugh that they are laughing at you and of course every person who looks in your direction is thinking "my God how did she let herself get like that?" "Does she just eat all day long???"

Those are the facts as I saw them.....note I said as I saw them........but something has started to happen.....

On my journey to Chapter 3 of my life I have found myself......I am now focusing on me!! I finally believe the people who say when they see me they don't think "look how fat she is" they just think "there's Donna".  I am working hard at the gym jogging in the pool, I loved Aqua Zumba, I love that I finally understand portion control, I love trying healthy new foods, I love that I am feeling successful even though my ass and thighs haven't gotten the message yet.....but they will.....I am sure of it.

I am not sure when it happened or why at this time in my life.......it might have to do with the future that I am looking forward to and my new adventures.  When I started "my list of new things to try" it was the jump start I needed.......suddenly things started to fall into place.

I decided I needed to stop avoiding the camera or else someday there would be no record of me.  I would be the person missing from the picture at the wedding or holiday gathering.

I have done more firsts in the last 6 months than I have in years.  I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone.  I am seeking out adventures instead of dreading them.

I have tried Weight Watchers more times than I care to admit but something is different this time........I finally get it.......I track everything I eat......I seek out healthier options........I eat when I am hungry.......I look forward to weighing in on Sunday morning (yes I do pray on the way to the meeting that I will be down at the scale).......since Labor Day I have lost 24.4 pounds.....in 9 weeks I have been down 8 weeks and one week stayed the same.....this is a big success for me!! I have Jenn to thank for so much....she has encouraged me, nagged me to track my food, helped me with healthy choices and made me feel more confident.  If she sees me doing something better than I have before she will mention it to me........

This week would normally be a hard week....my birthday and Thanksgiving.....but this year my focus is on pushing to lose that darn .6 pounds by next week so I can be down 25 pounds.

Then I can focus on the next 25 pounds.......one pound at a time.......and on from there.......I  really believe I am going to succeed this time and that in itself is a first......I believe in me!!!

I hope when I write an entry around this time next year I weigh quite a bit less and not that happiness comes from the size you are but I will feel better about me overall.

I am so glad Weight Watchers is working this time.......I am so glad to have Jenn to push me.........I am so glad I have a great cheering section......

I am so glad.......

See you next week.....

Aqua Zumba and Me???? Graceful I am not.....

I wanted to get to the gym early.....ok that was my first problem.  I was slow moving yesterday morning. I got to the gym a little later than I planned but was able to spend some time jogging in the pool. My time ran into the water aerobics class so I figured I would just do their workout.  It turns out the regular instructor was out so we had a fill in. She was young and energetic.  It turned out she teaches Zumba and Aqua Zumba.  So Aqua Zumba we did.....

I have seen Zumba classes at the gym and on TV.  On dry land, I wouldn't be able to keep up but in the pool I can.....well kind of.....

First thing I noticed was the music....it is loud and pounding......it kind of sucks you in.  I took off my water proof IPod and started to listen to the music.

It was amazing and ssssssoooo much fun.  There were some moves that just made me laugh.  Thank goodness for the water so others could not see what I was trying to do....LOL.

The pounding music just made you pick up your speed.  And before you know it you are punching the water and running and swaying back and forth.  I could feel my heart rate rising. If you did something and weren't going fast enough the instructor would call you out in front of the others.....it wasn't mean it was encouraging.

By the time I was done I was hooked!!!! I called the gym later on to see what days they have Aqua Zumba and it's Tuesday evenings.....well guess where I will be on Tuesday nights when I don't have to work late.

It was new and exciting.....and that's what I love about the water.......it is the great equalizer....I can do just about anything in the water that many can do on dry land.

Today, I was back at the gym doing my hour of jogging which I love but it was not quite as exciting as yesterday.  But having had that experience and liking it so much means I will definitely get to the gym another night each week.  And I can earn more activity points with Weight Watchers.

You can use the activity points to eat extra things but I just use it to burn  more calories.  In the last 8 weeks, I have been down at the scale 7 times and the one time I wasn't down I just stayed the same....no gains!!

Today at my WW meeting they started to discuss Thanksgiving.....ugh....

The leader started to tell us how many points each thing we would normally eat at dinner would be.......ok the turkey not so bad.....1 point per ounce.......stuffing 5 points for 1/2 a cup......and on and on......I will never eat pecan pie again at 14 points per slice!!! Then she had us add up the points we would use for the one meal and add 10 points for what they call the BLT's....bites, licks and tastes......you could really blow a whole week in the one meal!! It was eye opening and great info.......

Oh just one more thing.......

I had a chance to catch up with some of my friends today for lunch.  Don't you love those lunches where you can just pick up mid-sentence as if you were just together the day before?? We can almost complete each others sentences......

So it was a good week-end......lunch with friends, some education on what I really want to eat for Thanksgiving and of course Aqua Zumba......I think the music is still ringing in my ears....LOL

See you next week.....

A Day Full of Fun and check it off the list...... my first selfie......

I know I was being a pain in the ass......but that didn't stop me!!! I kept asking Jenn what she wanted to do for her birthday.  She threw out  a few ideas and we just went from there.

Actually the birthday celebration started Thursday night with pedicures....loved the color...Peruby Ruby!!

Friday night a quick trip to the Hallmark store to pick up our Christmas ornaments that we have had on lay-a-way since July. Plus I had  bunch of coupons which we used and ended up saving a lot of $$ and walked away with a bunch of freebies!!!

Saturday.....the birthday....started with an early breakfast with a friend who is halfway between Jenn and I in age.  I ate from the Healthy Fixin's Breakfast choices at Cracker Barrel.  It was very good and I didn't feel deprived!! Jenn found some very pretty scarves that we each bought.

Next......Mother and Daughter make-overs.  Jenn's was with Clinique and mine with Lancomme.   Actually, Jenn had hers scheduled and I was just going to kill time but then decided to have one of my own.  We were both happy with the results and did a good job sticking to the required purchases for the make-over (2 for Jenn and 3 for me).  The lady who did mine was named Beth.  She made me feel comfortable right away.  We chatted and laughed and I so enjoyed myself.

Our next stop was book shopping at Barnes and Noble.....well not really shopping....more like browsing so I could order what I wanted on Amazon and save a few dollars.

Before we entered the store, Jenn decided it was selfie time!! I have never taken a selfie....LOL.  So Jenn and I snapped away.  I had to try to think of something funny to make myself laugh so my smile would look natural.....I struggle with posing  for pictures and then to have to smile on top of it.....it is quite a task for me!!!  Well after several attempts we had selfie's we both liked.  On to the book store.....

To me a book store is a little slice of Heaven.  I grabbed a stack of books and found myself a table.  Jenn grabbed me a Pumpkin Spiced Latte from the Starbucks in the Barnes and Noble......I am sure she was ready to shoot me for the order....Pumpkin Spiced Latte minus the whipped cream, add non-fat milk, one packet of sweet and low......and I didn't even bother to say decaf since I had already had 3 cups of regular coffee at breakfast.  We sat there for 2 wonderful hours, talking and reading and talking and reading.....it was great.

Next stop, I needed to get the posts on the earrings in the 3rd hole in my ears cut shorter.  I didn't think it would take long......wrong!!! I had to wait for 6 people to get their piercings done...ugh.  Oh well, it is what it is.....

What would a birthday be without cupcakes.....so off to purchase some from the local cupcake store.

Jenn then decided she wanted some new jeans which is why we went to the mall on Harbison and this time I stayed in the car.  As we were leaving the mall, Jenn and I discussed our dinner plans.  I was so grateful when Jenn suggested we just get some skirt steaks at Publix and have them with a salad. I was thrilled......I had been worried about dinner and how it might be hard to work in my Weight Watcher points especially since I had to weigh in this morning.

A quick stop at Publix and we were home.  We had left the house at 7:45 AM and got back at 5:00 PM.....talk about a marathon.

A couple of side notes......

1.  My "selfie" has had more than 100 likes...LOL. I know there are some downsides to FB but it is things like getting 100 likes to a new picture of me that make it fun.  I also loved checking in at each stop a long our way yesterday....LOL.  It was also fun seeing so many people sending Jenn birthday wishes!!

2.  In fairness to Bob, I need to note he did buy Jenn a card and got her a gift which he left on the table for her.  This is a first for him and I felt I needed to give him credit.

3.  My work at tracking everything I eat is paying some great dividends (with Jenn to remind me to write it all down).  I was down another 4 pounds last week and another 1.4 pounds this week.  This is the first time I have been a part of WW and lost consistently week after week......I am so excited.  I will NOT be sharing any specific numbers but will just say I am very pleased with my progress.

4.  OK one problem with my weight loss efforts.......my rings are getting loose on my hands, my shoes are feeling loose, there is definitely more space between me and the steering wheel, I am moving around a bit more than before........ but my ass.....yes I said it my ass.....it is still as big as ever....ugh......can some of the pounds please some off of my darn thighs and butt.......pretty please????????????

5.  I have decided to make my entry from last week about the t shirt quilt into an article once we get it back and I can take pictures of it.  Then I am going to start submitting it to a few magazines and see if I can get anyone to bite and actually print it.......I feel like it is worth a try.

I know most of you have already seen it but here it is again my first selfie and another selfie with Jenn and me.....

Oh one more thing......this is my 600th post!!! Thank you for reading and responding to what I write each week it means a lot to me!!!!

See you next week......

T-Shirts Can Tell A Person's Life Story

Jenn received her first t-shirt when she was just a few hours old.   Actually, it was a onesie,  It said "Life Begins At Mount Vernon Hospital".  I still have it packed away with her first birthday dress, her first pair of shoes, her favorite pair of jeans that had rhinestones around the pockets that she called her "golden pants".. She would beg me to wear them for days on end......how she loved those jeans.  In the box is also a pair of hand me down jeans that her 4 older boy cousins wore with a rainbow on the back pocket.  There are other memento's of her life packed in that box or in the back of a closet.  A First Communion dress and veil, a winter coat made by a dear friend when we couldn't afford the expensive coat Jenn's only other cousin on the Pizzolongo side was wearing courtesy of Grandma (at the time it cost over $100 and to me that could have easily been a million dollars), a lion tamers cape made by Nannie for Jenn's kindergarten graduation (in black and shocking pink with sequins around the collar), a girl scout sash and vest(with all her badges, pins and awards), an Orangetown Patriot cheerleading jacket, a Pearl River Swim Team jacket and on and on.

A few weeks ago, I saw a website where you send them your old t-shirts and they make a quilt from them.  This company was very reasonable compared to some of the other companies I had heard about that make these kinds of quilts.  I also faced the fact I would never be able to accomplish such a task.......I still have a very pretty picture I started to embroider when I was pregnant with Jenn..... that is unfinished .....and Jenn will be 30 next week so you can see where I am going with the chance of finishing a quilt.......

I wanted to surprise Jenn with the quilt for Christmas. First, I had to figure out where she kept all her t-shirts, how to get them without her knowing and how could I decide which t-shirts should make the cut (no pun intended) and which ones were left off. I finally decided I had to tell her what I was trying to do.  Jenn loved the idea and on Saturday we spent a few hours looking through her t-shirts and cutting them apart.

T-shirts......

They brought back so many memories.......elementary school graduation, a sleep over at the Liberty Science Center (where my partner in crime, Patty Fitzgerald and I endured a long night of NOT sleeping on the floor of the Insect Exhibit/Room...ugh) but we did get to see the most amazing sunrise across the Hudson River over lower Manhattan and the World Trade Center, our first Breast Cancer Walk in Central Park with Jenn's first grade teacher and a lot of other parents there to support her in her battle, Camp Bernie (a 3 day camping trip for the middle schooler's as they come together as a group for the first time from three elementary schools), high school swim teams, church youth group trips including one to see Pope John Paul II in Canada, family reunions, Chi Omega sorority t-shirts ( well I needed to see something for the dues I paid), Winthrop University t-shirts along with Yankees, NY Giants and USC Gamecock shirts will all be part of the quilt.

Most of the t-shirts I bought Jenn were as souvenirs or for memory sake and cost less than a lot of the other souvenirs I could have bought her.  I did not have the intention at the time of using them for anything other than her to wear and eventually throw out.  And once she hit college......it seems like they get a t-shirt a week just for showing up at class!!

By the time we did our initial count, Jenn had over 100 yes I said 100 t-shirts.  We sorted them by must keep, maybe keep, can I donate it and good Lord throw it out.  We needed 49 to make the queen size quilt.  After a coupe of rounds were we down to 3 piles.....use for the quilt, donate to Good Will and pitch it.  The pitch it pile was relatively small.  Good Will was the recipient of over 50 t-shirts (although I am not sure who wants to wear a t-shirt that says Winthrop beat Charleston Southern ...... but then again I was with Jenn one day when she wanted to buy a shirt that said "Thompson Family Reunion".....we know no one named Thompson and are not related to anyone named Thompson but she thought it would be funny to buy and wear....LOL). Finally we had the 49......we cut them apart and counted and recounted to make sure we had the right number.  They are now sitting in a stack ready to be mailed this week.  The quilt will be back to me before Christmas.  I told Jenn she would not see the finished product until Christmas.......I myself can't wait to see it either!!!! It is a gift she will always have......yes I know someday it will end up in a closet with other things other things piled on top of it  but from time to time I hope she will look at it and show her children and know she had one hell of a good time growing up.

I wish I had something like that with all of my memories there to see but either my parents couldn't afford the t-shirt from an event or they weren't given away as freely as they are now.....

Well as my girl gets ready to turn 30 next Saturday (how the heck did that happen?  I just put her on the bus to kindergarten yesterday....), I am glad we spent part of a day looking at her past and putting her memories together into something permanent.  We laughed at some of the shirts, I got teary over some of them (are you surprised at that???LOL) and some reminded us of events we hadn't thought of in a long time.

Yes, in our children's generation we can tell their life story in t-shirts.  They are like the photographs our parents took of us growing up that we now treasure.  I am glad I am a saver and I am glad Jenn is one too.  If we weren't savers there would be no quilt.

I will make sure to share a picture of the finished  product after Jenn opens it on Christmas. It is a gift I am as excited about giving as she is to receive!!

See you next week......

Leaves and Cheese......2 more off "the list"

I am sure you are trying to figure out what I have crossed off my list with these two very different items...LOL.

In one day I managed to knock off another two firsts!!!!

The leaves.......I have so missed the fall and the leaves turning color since I moved south.  I have NOT missed raking the leaves once they have fallen.  In fact, that was the one job we had to do each year that I hated.  When we first moved to Pearl River, it was a fun family event.  We would rake the leaves into big piles in front of the house and would take turns diving into them or doing somersaults into them.  Even my Mom and Dad would take their turns.  The first home I owned in Pearl River had between 20-30 trees on it so you can imagine the amount of leaves I am talking about.  We had neighbors would would pretty much run out and catch each leaf as it fell from the trees so their lawn always looked pristine.  The Pizzolongo approach was a little different.......wait until every damn leaf was off the trees and then rake them on to sheets and drag them to the road. If it had rained before we got to rake them it was even worse.  Some times my brother's could get a hold of a leaf blower and that was great.

My first fall In SC, I asked a coworker when the leaves would change. She looked at me and laughed and said "you missed it".  It was around Thanksgiving and it had happened without the vibrant colors I had come to know.

Jenn and I had talked the last few years about going up to North Carolina to the Blue Ridge Parkway to see the leaves that had turned color.  Yesterday, we finally made the trip to Asheville.  First we stopped at the Biltmore.  It was built by the Vanderbilts.  It is the largest single family residence in the country.  We were going to go and see it but the $60 ticket price each made us decide against it.  We did go into the Biltmore Village to shop.  The village is where the workers and crafts people who worked on the estate lived.

Next, the leaves.  We headed to the Blue Ridge Parkway.  I was surprised the part we drove was only one lane in each direction.  It was a very curvy road!! There were look out points along the way.  The views from them were amazing!!! The mountains and valleys and colors in every hue.  I had found autumn......and the beauty of this time of year.  Jenn and I continued to point out trees to each other as if we had never seen a red or gold or orange or yellow leaf before....LOL.

Ok now to end the confusion about the "cheese" as part of this entry....LOL

Ok first let me say "I am a cheeseoholic!!!"  If I was told I could only each one kind of food for the rest of my life I would choose cheese.  My sister has promised when I die and am going to be cremated....she is going to throw a piece of cheese in the casket so I can go out of this life as a grilled cheese!!!! I have not tasted many kinds of cheese I do not like.

Oh but about the first with cheese......

I have really been following Weight Watchers very strictly and have been doing better than I have my last few attempts. Well as most of your know cheese it not really a good option and on Weight Watchers it is high in points so I am really cutting back on it...sob sob....

I am too embarrassed to tell you how much cheese I used to buy each week or eat each week for that matter.  But no more!!! No I haven't given up cheese totally but I am really eating just a fraction of what I did before.....that is huge for me!!!!

Oh but about the first......ready....drum roll......I bought some sliced cheddar cheese a few weeks ago (maybe longer than that).....and had to throw it out.  I pulled it out of the deli bag and yuk.......it had gone bad it the best way to say it and not make anyone sick.....it could have been used for penicillin.

This is a BIG victory for me.......I have never thrown out cheese before....ever.......another WW NSV (non-scale victory)!!!!!

While I do not have a picture of the nasty cheese....LOL.....

I do have a picture of some of the leaves we saw on our ride yesterday.....this was not in the Blue Ridge Parkway but in the way to Asheville.  Jenn will be sharing some of her pictures from the BRP on FB.

So Happy Fall to All and Farewell to the Cheese!!!!

See you next week!!!!

It's Only A Blip On The Map Of Life

I need to remember this.......so many of the things that happen on a daily basis.....what will they matter when I am old??

You know.....the rocking chair theory......."What will really matter at the end of my life?"  When I am sitting in my rocking chair reflecting on what was important and what was a blip on the map?

I love the movie Serendipity......there is a point in the movie when one of the characters says "the Greeks did not have obituaries......they would ask did the person have passion?"

The blips on the maps are not about passion........passion is something that lasts and leaves an impression.

My love of writing is a passion.......my love of the beach......my love of family and friends......my love of laughter........all passions.

A bad day at work......the pool at the gym being closed for repairs.....the unexpected car repair bill.......even Bob's recent bout with cancer.......all blip's on the map of my life.

There are more good days than bad at work......the pool will reopen this week.......the car repair bill will get paid off........and Bob will have his kidney removed and need no further treatment for his cancer.

But those wonderful days of beautiful sunrises or sunsets........the smell of the sauce cooking in the kitchen.......sitting at the beach and watching the waves........pure laughter.......the joy of looking at a Christmas tree all decorated.......and really good hugs from those you care about......they offset the negative blips of life.

I will remember  the kindness of others.......the small gestures that meant "I care"........the "I love you's"......the "I miss you's".......and the tears of happiness (and try not to remember the ones because of sadness or anger).

When I am gone and the question is asked "Did she have passion?"....the answer will be a resounding yes...........that is why I am working on "the list"........it will give me more things to learn, to love and to enjoy.....and maybe find new passions......you never know I might find something new that will excite me or make me laugh or open a new door for me......and that is what Chapter Three is all about.........

See you next week.....

PS #1 I continued tracking my points for Weight Watchers and was down at the scale again today!!!

PS #2 When I got to the gym yesterday the pool was closed for repairs.  When that happen in the past, I would go home.  Instead, I went in and did the circuit in the ladies gym ......twice!! It is what Weight Watchers calls a NSV (which means a non scale victory).

The Music Video and Me.....Item 5 Off My List

One thing I hate to do I draw attention to myself.......not surprised are you????

Twice a year my company, TD Bank, has town hall meetings across their footprint (from Maine to Florida).  At the opening of each of these company wide meetings they start with a video......of their employees.  The video has a cross section of employees  dancing and answering questions to fake interviews.  An example of a fake interview is asking me "what is your favorite food?" and I of course answer "cheese".  Well when the final product is done it will show someone asking me " what was your favorite gift on Christmas ever?" and then you see my response "Cheese".......get it......it's funny....

In a recent office email, employees were asked to volunteer to be in the meeting video.  Last spring, they used the "Happy " song and I have to say the video was very funny.  This time around it was Katy Perry's "Roar".  Of course as soon as I read the email I hit delete.  Not doing that I thought to myself.

And I didn't give it another thought..........

That is until I had my weekly one on one with my boss.......

She didn't ask about the video or my participation.......nope it was me opening my big mouth........when will I learn?

The conversation went like this......
Donna: oh that music video.....not a chance I am doing that...
My Boss:  wouldn't that be a great thing for your list of things you haven't done
Donna: I am not doing the music video
My Boss: you don't have to do it but you are the one who has been challenging yourself

I should have known then I was sunk......

Because she was right......I have been trying to push myself to do new things.

Then I pushed it from my mind......I had to be out of the office and work from home one day and thought I had missed video day....... I thought to myself that solves the problem....I missed it.

But NNNNNOOOO...........there were 2 days of video shooting and I was  lucky enough to be in the office the second day they were filming!!

One of my managing partners mentioned the video shoot was that day at 2:00.  She asked if I was going to do it.  I said no but then told her about my conversation with my boss.  She then said to me my boss was right and it would take another item off my list.....damn my list....ugh!!!

I thought about it through the morning and kept on saying nope not doing it.  But I could picture my boss sitting on my shoulder saying "you want to challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone don't you?"

A little before 2:00 PM, my manager partner came and asked if I was doing the video and I said "I don't think so".  Then one of her team members joined us and said "oh come on do it!".  I explained why I didn't  want to do it by pointing at my body and saying something about how I felt about the way I looked.  Her response was "but you are beautiful".  OK a raving beauty I am not.......but I have to get it through my head how others see me and not how I see myself........when will I ever get that???

So as you have guessed at 2:00, I was in the room for the video shoot.  I came in saying I was not going to dance.  The person shooting the video was very accommodating.  I didn't dance.  I sat and worked with headphones in my ears......while others in all kinds of TD green and purple hats and boas and masks......and holding tambourines and other TD noise makers danced around me while I was oblivious to all they were doing.  Then they started to decorate me....with a green hat that had lights that flashed off and on....a green or purple boa....throwing confetti on me....as I continued to work.  Then at the end I pick up a green tambourine that had lights that flashed off and on and shake it.

The whole thing only took a few minutes and it was done.  There was talk of doing something else.......at that point I said I was done and fortunately it was the end.

I can only hope I end up on the cutting room floor.

So if you want to challenge me to do something it appears you only have to remind me of "the list".....LOL!!

The video will be shown here in Lexington this week.....unfortunately, I will not be in the office that day so I will miss my screen debut.....darn it....no red carpet.......no paparazzi.......I will just have to live without having that experience!!

The work I was doing during the video......here is a picture of what I was writing in my notebook:

P.S.#1- Another good week at Weight Watchers- I tracked my food again this week and had another good week.  Thank you Jenn for reminding me to track everything !!!!


P.S. #2- On another note:  most of you know Bob was diagnosed with kidney cancer last week.  I have not written anything but one post about this on my family's FB page because we don't know much right now.  We will be meeting with his Dr's this week and will hopefully have more answers. I will keep you posted,  Please keep Bob and Jenn and I in your prayers as we learn what is next...

See you next week.....

What You Might Think Is A Surprising Example To Follow.....

While I am writing this is I am watching the Red Sox game......Derek Jeter just got a base hit and left the game.  I will admit I had tears in my eyes watching him leave the field.

In case you don't know (and I don't know how you couldn't).....I am a die hard Yankees fan!! Today is a sad day for me.......I will not have the pleasure of watching Derek Jeter play for the Yankees again.....

I have followed his career since he came up to the majors all those years ago.  When I lived in NY I went to many games at the old Yankee Stadium and when I moved south I made several trips with friends to Florida to see the Yank's in spring training games.

So what have I learned from that 40 year old .....crap I was out of high school before he was born....ugh!!

Watching him this last season, saying goodbye, knowing the time to leave, seeing by the calendar that time was running out and showing how to exit with class........I have learned a lot about how to move on with the changes in life.

Letting go of the past, saying goodbye to Chapter Two of my life and moving ahead not completely sure of what Chapter Three holds in store......it is a big change and there have been some tears.  Hey.... if Jeter can get chocked up in his final game at Yankee Stadium I think I am entitle to a few tears as I move forward and occasionally look at my past.

I can't or won't share some of the things I learned or experienced this week but I now have some of the answers I was seeking.  Tough answers and many were what I anticipated but had hoped would not be the case.  The information I now have and how it will impact my future weighs heavily on me.

Does this information change my plans......possibly...........right now I think it has more impact on the timing of the future changes......I will just have to see how it plays out. Let's just say I have so much to sort through and figure out.  But I guess it is better than being in limbo and not having the answers......right?

Everyone's weeks have their ups and downs....some are minor like having to change a pedicure appointment.......others are more serious......such as how do I go about planning my retirements some day and will I still get to my dream location.....the beach.  Well, the answer appears to still be yes to both of those but it will take some adjusting and refiguring.

That mountain that I said I was climbing in my recent posts.......well I slipped a little down hill this week.....but I grabbed the rope in my reach and held tight so I didn't slide too far back into the valley. Once again continuing my climb.

So thanks Jeter for teaching me about moving on and saying goodbye........who would have thought good old #2.....the Captain would be an example I can emulate.......moving on to the next part of my life with a smile and a few tears.........

Trying To Make Some Progress.....

As I work my way back up the mountain that I referenced last week......I decided to try some of the changes that I have heard about for years......

I now eat my dinner on a salad plate.  Boy those suckers are a lot smaller than a dinner plate!!!!

Jenn and I took the time to break down things like pistachio nuts and crackers into single serve size packages.  It is amazing what a real serving size looks like!! We even weighed the things that had a certain weight as a serving size. First, it makes sense to get the serving size right. Second,  it is so much easier to grab a single serving than to guesstimate.

I also made a big salad and took it several days for lunch. And I presliced tomato's to go with my alternative bagels from publix (low in calories and high in protein) and my weight watcher cream cheese (in a premeasured packet).

Jenn and I went out to eat after the gym today and I chose the 4 vegetable plate. OK here is where my southernness is starting to come out......I had cabbage, collards, lima beans and black eyed peas.....it was really good and I sure didn't feel deprived.

I am also getting out of the house earlier in the morning because of preparing my breakfast and lunch at night.  In the morning, I can just grab and go!!

I am really looking closely at my food choices.  I love soup and have found some soups that I really like.  I make them and then add extra vegetable for bulk ( I love my soups chunky).  It is getting to be that time of year when there is nothing better than the smell of soup cooking in the house (except the smell of garlic and onions in a little olive oil.....nothing beats that smell in the kitchen).

All in all I felt good about the week......

Did my hair get any thicker......no!

Did I get down to my birth weight this week.....nope!!

Have I gotten over the fear of being alone......um.... not!!!

I chose another path up the mountain......the top is very far away.......but at least now I can see the valley below me instead of sitting at the bottom and wanting to quit.

Those of you who reached out to me this week.......you helped me get off my sorry fat ass and start the long journey back........thank you for in some cases dragging me kicking and screaming......your kind words of encouragement got me going again......

And I know..... as in the words of Robert Frost...."I have miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep"......

Thanks for the company on the path......I really needed it this week......

See you next week......

It Was Bound To Happen.......

You knew it was coming.....I knew it was coming........

I had been feeling so good and positive for the last few months (at least most of the time)........there was due to be a down slide......

I know there are people that go around whistling zippy dee do dah out their butts everyday....at least that is the rumor....I myself do not know anyone in the perpetual state of happiness......but some do hit the mark on a more regular basis.......

Some comments that have been made to me just hit me at the wrong moment......as I put down what some of these comments were.....please do not take it personally if I use them in this entry.......I am not mad at anyone......it just gave me a lot to think about and maybe to work on.......

For example, I was told that people stay together when they get older because it is better than being alone.......or I have the best husband in the world and everyday with him is just wonderful (there were a lot of those from various people).......or once I am on my own I would drop 100 pounds......

Now none of these were said to hurt me.........none of these were said intentionally just as part of a conversation but it was just added to my down slide......

I went for a pedicure Thursday and had an ingrown toenail that needed to be worked on that left me in tears......I had my face waxed because it was getting fuzzy.........Friday, I had my haircut and cried over how thin it looked to me......by yesterday I was just a mess......not rock bottom but getting close......

Add to that the stress at home and ........you get the picture????

I knew I had to pull myself out of the downward spiral I was in.......

I decided to regroup and get back on track for the 9 zillionth time......and in doing that I found my strength.....

Here is how I see my life:

1.  Yes, I will be alone.  But that doesn't mean I can't be happy.  I can make friends and I do have a lot of friends.  I may not be able to get on Noah's Ark but that OK......I will just bring an umbrella and hope for the best.

2.  Losing 100 pounds......I cannot even fathom the number of pounds I need to lose......I can only think in 5 pound increments.......the good news is I went back to Weight Watchers today.....the last time I was there we had our rare SC snow on the ground.  The lady who weighed me greeted me as if I had been there last week.....she said "now don't be surprised if you are up on the scale since you have been gone for a while"....well guess what....I was down at the scale and even got another 5 pound sticker!!!!  After that I went to the gym and jogged for over an hour in the pool and even though I haven't loaded my music on my aquabeat yet I was able to listed to sports radio.

3.  The statement.......I have the best husband in the world.....well ladies if you do....thank God and be grateful.....not much more I can say about that except I envy you......

4.  My ingrown toenails.....OK that one I am blaming on my Mom and years of wearing some really ridiculous shoes (yes even I wore stilettos at one point in my life).

5.  My thinning hair.......OK I am not bald......and I need to get over it....with work each day it does look full and the highlights help not make it look so thin.....what the heck else can I do?  But for those of you will a full head of thick hair....treasure it!!

There have been a few up moments in the last few weeks that I need to note as I search my way back out of this hole I have dug for myself.

My friend, Crickett, once again found something she thought I would like.......it was a book called "I Still Have To".....it has places to write down things I want to do, dreams and places to sketch ideas (OK the sketching should be a hoot since I can only draw stick figures and even those I don't do well).

My sister and brother-in-law sent me an early birthday gift........they know me so well!!!!

I found an old Target gift card and was able to buy a piece of furniture that I saw advertised on sale.  It will be going with me for Chapter 3.

Chapter 3 is moving along.......maybe not as fast as people think it should but at the pace I feel comfortable with and that is really all that matters.

Several years ago, I was at a co-workers son's funeral.  The Pastor said something that has stuck with me all  this time ........"How can you appreciate a mountain top if you have  never been in a valley?" What great words.......the last few weeks I have been in a valley.......it is time to climb back up the mountain........

See you next week.......

R & R.......and other stuff.....

I have probably told everyone I could but just in case I missed you......I took off my first full week since last December.  I was so ready for the break....just ask my coworkers.......

I did  my normal errands over the weekend and late Sunday headed for the beach.  Four wonderful days of talking, golf cart rides, waking up to the smell of the ocean, talking, laughing, solving the world's problems, seeing beautiful sunrises, talking, enjoying a drink while sitting looking at the ocean, outdoor showers (yes I did this)  and did I mention talking.......

It is great when you have people that you can be yourself with.....they know you and love you warts and all.....it can also be gut wrenching as they ask the tough questions and in some ways force you to look at yourself and your life and then in the end help guide you toward what's next.

As I crossed each of the three bridges toward their home, I could feel the stress leaving my body.  No work......no bills......none of the issues I face each day........

I only thought of work once and that was for a conf call on Monday.....other than that it was total me time.

I left there feeling rejuvenated and still had a few more days off too!!

I was home about 5 minutes when the stress returned.  Ugh......

But it's OK.....I feel more in control and am finally learning no response is better than always feeling a need to give a comment back.  As many of your know this is a major challenge for me!!!

Once home I decided to be lazy....slept late......took naps......read.....played games on my IPad.......I went to the gym but not first thing in the morning.......I watched football (but turned off the sound...lol)......I chatted with friends on FB......I met my sister and brother-in-law for lunch  and we had a great time and she bought me a gift.....something I love......all in all it has been lovely.

It 's hard to believe it is September 1st.......how did that happen???? When I was in NY, this was the time of year I loved......the fall......leaves turning colors......sweater weather.......the heat of the summer gone.  Well, in South Carolina, the heat will still be here, the leaves do not turn until November (if they turn at all) but we do have football.  God, how I love football!!! I am a loyal fan no matter how bad my team plays.....yes we got our asses kicked last Thursday.....but there is always next week for the Gamecocks......and after all these years in the south yelling GO COCKS is as normal as saying how is the weather.  And this coming weekend my G Men.....Big Blue.....the NY Giants start their season.  I can watch football Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday.....how great is that!!! Now I would like time to slow down just a bit because before I know it.......it will be Super Bowl Sunday......

Just one more update and something for us all to think about.......I wrote about my niece, Jill, last week and her battle with MG.  She was released from the hospital this weekend.  As she and her boyfriend Tim drove home from the hospital, Jill started to sing in the car.  Then  she caught herself and started to cry. She realized that because of the MG she had not been able to sing.  So these were happy tears......Jill is making her way back......her appetite has improved and she is heading back to work tomorrow.  I am so proud of her!!!! and Tim too for hanging in for what must have been a trying week....in case you haven't figured it out......we Raboni women are a bit of a challenge!!!!!

So there you have it......the week that was.....the beach.....football.......and a girl singing in the car.......as the days grown shorter and night comes earlier.......we need to remember the summer and all it gave to us......in the form of love and laughter and fun.......

Sorry this post is a day late......just part of me being lazy.........

Here is a picture of the gift my sister gave me......I love it....pineapples.....they remind me of Mom and are very welcoming.....

Oh and one more thing.......I did change the web address for this blog.....due to some family issues that were brought to my attention last week.

See you next week......

Challenges, Firsts and Laughter......

My niece, Jill, was diagnosed with Myestinia Gravis recently.  After seeing  a local doctor, she is now seening a specialist who deals with this disease at Duke University Hospital. While there for her appointment, the Dr. had her admitted to the hospital.  No warning or preparation. Jill may be in for  a week and she is in being given a round of treatments that may help improve her condition. MG is not curable but is treatable.  Jill has continued to work and travel for her job.  Her job involves training which means a lot of talking.  Due to her MG, the talking part has at times been challenging.  Has Jill said why me? No!!  Has Jill felt sorry for herself? No!! Has Jill missed a beat in her real world life? Barely!!

Jill and her boyfriend, Tim, have taken a better approach to the challenge they are facing (and I do mean they).  What have they done??? They laugh.  Whether it be laughing about how to put on a hospital gown or finding out Jimmie Johns delivers to the hospital or taking pictures of the special socks Jill has to wear to avoid blood clots  or learning the joys of a sponge bath......they have done it all.....together......and with a sense of humor.

This is not the kind of challenges kids in the mid 20's expect to face but for some reason Jill and Tim have landed right in the middle of this.......and at times I am sure they feel like they are in the middle of Grand Central Station at rush hour.......

I am so proud of Jill and her fighting spirit and of Tim who sleeps in the chair, runs to buy Jill bacon and somehow they have maintained the attitude that we can deal with this and although Jill may have MG......MG does not have Jill or Tim for that matter.

Many times we look at the younger generation and thinks of them as soft, spoiled, selfish and self-centered......well I am glad to say these two prove all of that wrong!!!  If I was a betting person.....I would bet a whole years salary on them!!! Jill and Tim....you are amazing!!!

On another subject, I did two more firsts yesterday......
 1. I took the Ice Bucket Challenge

2.  and allowed my  daughter to share the video of me doing it on facebook.  Pouring a bucket (a pot in my case) of cold water and ice over your head may sound a little asinine but it's for a good cause.  I will write a donation check today too!!  OK this is where I may cross the line.....when I watched the video and looked at the picture Jenn took after .....I wasn't horrified at the way I looked.....it was me.  But because I am leaning over the railing of my front porch......my boobs do look like they go down to my waist.......oh well.....I wasn't going to do it again so I could look better that's for sure.....

Lastly, this weeks embarrassing moment (you thought the boob comment was it....nope).......I was searching for the SEC channel on cable last week so I can be ready for kick-off this Thursday night....I know I know what you are thinking....she was looking a week ahead of time?????

Anyway, I thought it was a channel in the 600's.  So there I am remote in hand hitting every button I can think of......meanwhile Jenn is sitting nearby working on her computer getting ready to teach her University 101 class.  Next thing I knew the TV froze.  And of course it would have to be on an "adult" channel....ugh.  There across the screen is the description of the movie  I can view for $9.99.  I am now trying to get the remote unfrozen and then it happens.......Jenn looks up from her computer and says "What the hell are you watching???" and bursts into laughter.  I am trying to explain the frozen remote and fumbling through my words while Jenn continues to laugh and laugh.  Finally she is able to get me away from "that" channel.....and help me find the SEC channel not to be confused with the SEX channel.....

Well that pretty much sums up the week........laughter was the common thread through each event above.....and it sure beats crying!!!! Unless you are like mean and cry when you laugh.......

See you next week.......

A Table For One......Item 4 On My List......Check It Off!!!

Jenn was working what we refer to as Super Bowl Week at USC.  Moving in week is amazing!!  Her department basically examines and if needed, repairs a small city during summer break and then the Super Bowl.....moving in days.....within a period of 4 days over 6000 freshman and Lord knows how many other students return to campus.  During this stretch Jenn's group works 12 days straight and long hours......

But enough about Jenn.....LOL!!!!

Yesterday was a me day......since Jenn wasn't around and Bob and I don't do anything together....it was all about me!!

As you know I have been struggling to begin and do things alone......yup just me.....just Donna.  Some of you might think or say "so what's the big deal???"  I have spent most of my life doing things with other people.

But as I move into Chapter Three .......it's just me.......

Saturday, I started the day by going to the gym alone.  I got there early and finished my workout by 9:30.  I drove by 2 movie theatre's to see what time two movies I wanted to see were playing.  Once I got home, I loaned my car to Bob so he could run some errands.  While he was gone, I did a lesson on Rosetta Stone and wrote a few more pages in a fiction novel I am writing.  I did some reading.  I did some looking online (note I did not say shopping since I did not purchase anything I just put things in my cart for future reference).

My aquabeat which I love to listen to while jogging in the pool is dying so I went to order another one and found out they were on sale for 1/2 price!!! I did order that right away.

All in all a very relaxing me day......

Sunday, I got up early and watched a DVR'd episode of Mad Men.  Then I went to the gym alone again.  OK this is a first for me.......I was in the gym parking lot 10 minutes before they opened and was the third car there.  I found out if I held down the volume key on my aquabeat I could still hear the music......so I jogged for more than an hour switching it back and forth between my hands holding down the volume button.

I left the gym and thought OK what's next.  I was hungry.  I could have come home and had something to eat but then thought about the things I had done alone this weekend and decided to really challenge myself and go out to breakfast......alone.....yes ALONE!!!!!!

I decided to go to Lizard's Thicket, a local chain home style restaurant.  I thought I was being smart by not hitting one of the more fancy brunch locations but I forgot that I would be running into the after church services crowd.  I pulled into a parking spot and just sat there.  I watched people going in and out.  The joint was hopping!! I sat there maybe 10-15 minutes trying to decide if I should go in.  I finally made my move.  I grabbed a book I leave in the car, my cell phone and a local paper "The Columbia Star".  I figured that would keep me occupied while I ate breakfast.  Did I really need all of that....no.....I wasn't going to be there for 2 hours....LOL.

Guess what happened when I walked in alone..........................nothing!!

There was no spotlight on me......no announcement over the public address system announcing Donna Pizzolongo had arrived to dine alone.  There was no waitress screaming "I have someone here alone .....where can we seat a single?" LOL

Instead, I picked out what would normally be a booth for two.  The waitress asked if I was waiting for anyone else and I very bravely said "No, it's just me."  She brought me my coffee (decaf thank God) and took my order.  I had a western omelet made with egg whites.  No bread, biscuits or hash browns.  I did ask for turkey sausage.  Then the waitress came back and said would I like grits since I wasn't having anything else and I said sure ( I do love grits) and she wanted to know if I would like the turkey sausage in my western omelet instead of ham......that worked for me!!!

I took my time, played with my phone and didn't make eye contact with too many people.  I did look around and saw a lot of families having breakfast together.........I was just a little envious.......but still feeling OK.  I didn't rush my meal and even had a second cup of coffee.

And guess what.....before I knew it I was done eating.  I never even read the paper or book I brought in with me.  I did laugh with a few people around me because there was a poor baby screaming and crying to beat the band and the parents took probably 5 minutes too long to decide one of them should take the screaming baby outside.

I left a tip for the waitress, paid my bill and got back in the car.  I did let out a sigh of relief that I made it though a dining experience alone.  You need to know this is huge for me!!!!

Oh and on the way out no one yelled....."that lady who has been sitting there alone is leaving now"....LOL

So what's next....a lunch alone......a dinner alone (that will be the hardest one) and yes even a movie alone......

I took another step today and survived......it may sound silly but I am kind of proud of myself........

Oh and here is what a breakfast for one looks like......

 See you next week......

Moods and Emotions ......THE HIGHS.....and......the lows......

Last week, I experienced a variety of feelings in both my personal and work life.....

At work......I had a high and a low.

HIGH- I reached out and saved a deal that appeared to be lost.  When I knew the customer was staying with us I did a fist pump in the air.

low- a customer used a social network to air their concerns.  And lucky me......no one even spells my name right......but this time it was letter perfect.

On the personal front......

HIGHS- Dinner with a good friend at Cracker Barrel.  One suggestion......could they please find a way for me to get to my table without going through the gift shop?? And could they not run such great sales........who can pass up 50% off some great items.  Next time, I will ask for blinders at the door and a handsome escort to get me to my table.

Also, had breakfast with my sister and brother-in-law this morning.  We had a great visit!! I was able to get showered, dressed and out of the house in less than an hour......a record time for me.

Yesterday, while at the gym I was jogging in the pool.  I watched a Dad trying to teach his son(who was about 7 years old ) to swim.  The Dad was patient and did a great job working with the young boy.  The kid was smiling and Dad was encouraging.  I couldn't help but grin myself watching them together. When the little boy got out of the pool I gave him the thumbs up.  As he left he waved to me.......it was one of those brief encounters that made my day.  Oh and I guess it doesn't hurt to mention that Dad was in fantastic shape....LOL!!

I used my new water bottle this week and filled it up at least once a day. And my friend who got me mine also brought me one for Jenn in pink no less.....as Jenn says her signature color.

lows-there was a how should I say.....a heated FB conversation this week among my Ohana regarding the date of our next family reunion.  The Welch's are to put it mildy a family of strong personalities.  Fortunately, by the end of the week the feelings of our family elders were taken into consideration and it appears the date has been set.

There were some mornings when I was dragging when the alarm clock went off at 5:30 A.M.

I wasn't very creative in my meal choices this week.......in fact my choices were downright boring.

Life is made up of HIGHS and lows.......my HIGHS were not about winning the lottery and the lows were not devastating......

BUT I am already working to avoid the lows this week if I can.......

I have already put together a variety of lunch ideas for the week.
I am leaving dinners this week flexible....this usually means I eat less.
I am going to try to go to bed a little earlier each night which might mean not dragging myself out of bed each morning.
I am sincerely going to try to enjoy the journey vs focusing on the destination (great advice given to me by several people).
And I will think about weight loss and getting healthier but not obsess about it.

Chapter Three is in the early stages or pages.......no reason to rush.....I need to enjoy the ride.....and as with all travels......there are HIGHS and lows.......there is no way to avoid them.......I just have to roll with them......

The Up's And Downs of a Week......and Life........

Whenever someone says "I have good news and bad news"  you know what I want first.....the bad news.

This week had good moments.....and bad......

Lets' get the bad over with first........

My car needed an oil change and I thought maybe brakes (it was just a feeling) and I couldn't remember having a brake job done since I owned the car (110,000 miles ago). The day before I was bringing the car in......  Jenn and I were running errands and all of a sudden the A/C started going hot.  Ugh!!! To add insult to injury, the motor for my drivers side widow was broken so I couldn't open it ( I won't mention I already replaced it 18 months ago through the dealership but was told it was only guaranteed for12 months).  Jenn and I drove along with the other  windows open and the sun roof open......things were blowing all over the car and we were both sweating bullets.

The next morning the car was at Goodyear......first estimate $900 plus (and that was thinking the A/C would not have to be replaced.)  By early afternoon the news had gone from bad to worse......the bill would be over $1950 and there was a list of $600 in "suggested" repairs. I opted to not do ther "suggested maintenance work".  So I cried and told them to do the repairs.  What choice did I have???? I needed the brakes and oil change.  How long was I going to ride around with  a drivers window that didn't work?? And let's face it .....A/C in South Carolina during the summer is not really optional!!!

The car was ready the next day.  $1100 for parts and almost $900 for labor.  I used to have a mechanic that I trusted like crazy......unfortunately he is no longer in that line of work.....boy do I miss you Joe Dotman!!!!

The other part of the week that was stressful was my work schedule....what the hell was I thinking???? Monday worked half day no prob......Tuesday half day of work starting at 1:00....I should have worked  4 hours......I ended up working almost 8 hours......it was my fault....I kept on saying just saying one more thing.  Wednesday and Thursday I just signed on to clean out emails.  Ended up reaching out to an upset customer by phone and email. Friday, I worked at home and was on the computer early and signed off late.  Also had to remind someone several times that I WAS WORKING......some people don't understand that even though I was at home and I had two monitors running and was taking phone calls it is a long day and there was a lot to do.

Now the good parts of the week......

I went to the gym 6 times....WOO HOO!! Lots of jogging in the pool.  I did more than a marathon in the pool....OK it was over 6 days....LOL!!!!

Jenn and I went out for lunch 3 times and did brunch one day.  Don't worry I didn't go over board......we were careful with our meal selections.......it was nice to have a meal out and not have to rush.  We had some great conversations during those meals out.  We also went dutch!!!

I stopped at work yesterday to bring  my laptop and the water that I drink in so I didn't have to lug it all in tomorrow.  Jenn hung up my football posters too.

In my overhead compartment was a gift from my friend, Crickett, she has been a big supporter of me and my efforts.  She left me a water bottle that I had seen of hers that screws off in a spot so I can put ice in it easily, a small notebook that says dreams on the cover and a card of encouragement. I was very touched by her thoughtfulness.

In my desk drawer was another gift.  From another friend (and former boss), Lisa, it is a bracelet with all beachy charms on it.  I love it!!!!

I left both items in my office to enjoy starting tomorrow.  How great is that??? I am out of the office and I have work friends thinking about me.  One did it for encouragement and the other because she had heard about the car bill and knew it was not one of my better weeks.

I also made plans to visit my friends at the beach at the end of the month.......something else to look forward to!!!

The last is the best......I love old weather worn old looking furniture.  Jenn went into Hobby Lobby and found a cabinet that had no price on it.  She knew I would love it.  She asked about the price and was told $24.99.  She was sure this was wrong so she checked again and again.  Then bought it for me....with my debit card.  When I saw her coming to the car with a gentleman behind her carrying something I thought what the heck did she buy? When she opened the door she said "I bought something you will love!!" You can guess how I reacted.......yes........ I cried!!!!! Another item to go with me for Chapter Three !!!!!

Well that was the week in a Readers Digest version.......the good and the bad......

Oh and did I mention I got on the scale today and I am down a few pounds.......between the gym and eating when I am hungry......seems to be having some positive results......I need to lose 4 more pounds to get to a new personal goal.......I know I know I have a long way to go.......but I can only think a few pounds at a time.....

Oh here is the piece of furniture Jenn found for me.......

See you next week........

Small Gestures.......

After last week's entry about death and envy.  I decided to lighten it up a little this week......

Actually due to the kindness and thoughtfulness of some friends this entry was easy to write.

It is about the small things in life........the things that may not matter to one person but do to another.

Life is made up of small gestures. Yes, we might have that occasional big grand moment but those are few and far between.  It is the small unexpected moments that make life what it is........

I was a kid that appreciated just about everything I was given.  I remember a favorite aunt and uncle giving me a small toy purse with play make-up in it.  At the time it cost maybe 50 cents.  I was thrilled.  I can still picture it in my mind.  It was not a big toy or an over the top gift but something that said to me "we thought of you,  Donna".

A few things have happened recently that made me realize that people care about me and listen to me or remember what I write.

For example,  I had a business dinner to attend this week.  I struggle with dining out and making the right choices.  Problem solved.......one of my friends at work printed up the menu from the place  we were going to so I could see what my options were.  We discussed what would be best and I went to the dinner not having to pray over the menu.  I will admit my friend and I did have a taste of some of the appetizer's we had thought we wouldn't eat.  We both agreed that in days past we both would have overindulged instead of taking a small sampling of each.  It may have sounded like a strange combination but my shrimp as a main course even though it was on the appetizer part of the menu along with green beans steamed in teriyaki sauce and collards was a filling dinner.

Another good friend surprised me with a yard banner and the metal stake to hang it on.  The banner says "Life is better in flip flops".......and most of you know I am addicted to flip flops and as I told a friend  last week......I wore flip flops before they were a fashion statement.

Jenn knows I am such a procrastinator....... in order to "help me" .....she assisted me with going through my half of the bedroom closet and some of the kitchen cabinets today.  I was basically given about 10 seconds to say keep or go and then another 5 seconds to say pitch or Goodwill. It was about 50/50 as far as what got pitched and what went to Goodwill. And instead of the normal Donna who leaves the Goodwill boxes in the living room for a period of time......not today....Jenn got out the cattle prod and we dropped three boxes  at Goodwill late this afternoon.

Now let's talk chopsticks..........a pair of wooden chopsticks......they probably cost 10 cents if that much........another friend of mine gave me a pair this week.  Why a pair of chopsticks?? This person remembered I had written in my blog a few weeks ago that one of the 12 things on my list was to learn to eat with chopsticks.....I am not going to use them though.......I am saving them as a reminder so when I have a bad day that I do have people that care about me and hear me too. I will still eat a meal with chopsticks but not those......they mean so much to me.

So there you have it..........


a trip to Goodwill (and cleaner closets).......a menu.........a banner......and chopsticks........small moments.....small gestures......how much better can it get......

Unfortunately, I did not take a picture of the three boxes we donated to Goodwill......

Death and Envy .......

Got your attention huh......

I am making plans fast and furious......Chapter Three has begun........although I won't be able to get deep into the chapter for a few years I am still planning and getting things in order.

But you know what I worry about most? (This will shock you....LOL)

What if I die before I get to live out my dreams? This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately.  I know some of you are automatically thinking.....if you are dead you will not know you missed out on your dreams.....but I would hate to not have to opportunity.

These thoughts have pushed me to redouble my efforts to get healthy.  I really pushed hard at the gym today while I jogged for an hour in the pool (but did my aquabeat waterproof IPOD have to quit when I was only 15 minutes into my jogging?).  I have already made my salad for lunch tomorrow.  I am going to get back on the scale next Sunday and focus on my daily points and try to avoid carb's. I purchased a Fitbit which will help keep track of steps and I will finally be able to see how far I am going when I jog in the pool (I usually figure it has to be a few miles).

I don't want to die before the things I have gotten for my future 2nd bathroom get to be used.....all in a lighthouse theme....what a surprise.  Or the dishes with the seafood design.  Or the bedspread for my next bed which will be one of those beds with the top and bottom that go up and down. I am planning and looking and searching for the things that will make my next stop home.

But I don't want to die before that happens........

I had all my blood work done recently and it all came back good.  I feel good.  I am getting more sleep at night than I have before (but I do hate going to bed earlier at night).  I have looked for more healthy recipes on Pintrest and wow there are a lot out there.  I think my attempt to try new things has also helped me keep a positive attitude.  My home is not the sanctuary I would like it to be.  I do try to find some peace and solitude when I sit in my recliner in my bedroom.  I look at beach locations I like, I look at homes and condo's and try to envision myself there.  The vision of that life is so real I can almost touch it.

I keep getting reminded that I will be alone and that does scare me.......I have never really been alone in my life.  But I will be OK........I think.......

I have be reminded of my failures and the fact I have been less than successful in my weight loss efforts.....but I do have the ability to bounce back.  I still believe in me........

I talk to friends about the future and their plans.....retirement....relocation......freedom......and I cannot tell a lie......I am envious.......maybe because in order to fulfill my dreams I will have to work longer than most of the people I know that are my age.......and that is when the fear of dying lurks it's ugly head......

Well to all the naysayers.....guess what???? My sorry ass will be sitting on a patio someday in the morning drinking coffee where I can smell the ocean........I will be able to watch the sun rise while sitting on the beach.......I will be able to spend my days writing as a career......I will get to live the life I was meant to live.....

With all I am doing now to get back on track......I hope I can live  out my dreams.......NO...... I know I will.........

Here are some of the views I plan to see daily no matter what beach location I end up at.....