Everything works out in the end.....if it hasn't worked out for you.... it's not the end....
Love that quote.....my friend Mary shared it with me a week ago. There will be no end to my journey. This is my life and I will always have to be aware of what I eat and how much I exercise. It's not like I can say I reached my goal weight and I am done.....that's right my goal.... not anyone else's goal for me. Exercise will always be a part of my life too.
I may finally feel more comfortable in my own skin but maintaining will be as big a challenge as getting to my goal.
With each entry to this blog I learn a little something about myself. It is cheap therapy. The feedback each of you has shared with me has been helpful and makes me feel more confident. When someone tells me I made them laugh about shopping for a pretty shower curtain....I feel good. Having some say "hang in there....you are doing great!!.....has kept me going on days when I was ready to quit. Those of you who have said "you write so well".....confirm my belief that I am a writer.
These are some of the added benefits to deciding to focus on me.....getting healthy, feeling better about me, sharing my feelings with those I trust and finding out that maybe just maybe I have a gift.....writing.....
It is not often that I can say things about myself with a great deal of confidence.....but these things I know for sure.......I am a loyal friend, I care greatly about my family and friends, I have a wicked sense of humor, I get stupid when I drink too much, I occasionally lack common sense (just ask Jenn and my friend Dan and they will be more than happy to confirm this with a resounding YES), I sometimes need a kick in the butt to get motivated, I am finally getting comfortable with putting myself first, I still let cruel words or comments hurt me deeply,
and I am a writer.......
I like the sound of that........
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Time to Sit on the Porch and Enjoy the Day
Today, it is in the 80's. That's right February 27th and it is in the 80's. Oh the temp is going to drop back into the 60's in a day or two. I am going to spend some more time this afternoon sitting on the porch reading and listening to my IPOD. In a few months, I will be complaining about the heat and staying indoors in the air conditioning but for now I am enjoying one of those rare days where the warmth is a welcome change from the winter.
There are daffodils on my neighbors lawn and ugh there are patches of grass growing. Time to hunt for a new lawn mower.....dreading the hot summer days when the lawn will need to be mowed. Well it will be good exercise.....
You haven't lived until you see me sweating while pushing the lawn mower while wearing the lovely mask so I don't breathe in all the junk the mower kicks around.
It will burn lots or calories....and that will help the cause. What cause you might ask? The Donna is working to get healthy and live longer cause.
I will continue my quest to make me better.....but for this afternoon....I am going to sit back and relax....watching the rest of the world go by........
There are daffodils on my neighbors lawn and ugh there are patches of grass growing. Time to hunt for a new lawn mower.....dreading the hot summer days when the lawn will need to be mowed. Well it will be good exercise.....
You haven't lived until you see me sweating while pushing the lawn mower while wearing the lovely mask so I don't breathe in all the junk the mower kicks around.
It will burn lots or calories....and that will help the cause. What cause you might ask? The Donna is working to get healthy and live longer cause.
I will continue my quest to make me better.....but for this afternoon....I am going to sit back and relax....watching the rest of the world go by........
Why Can't Everyone Follow the Rules
The sign as you enter the pool from the locker room at my gym very clearly says "No children under 5 Years old allowed in the pool." This is not a confusing statement and is written in very plain English. So why oh why is it when I get in the pool there is an infant in the pool with their parents. Why do people feel the rules do not apply to them. All I want to do is spend 45 minutes working out and not have to listen to a child screaming and splashing.
Maybe I am getting old.....and cranky. I just want to be able to work out in solitude. Young children would never be allowed on the other floors where the adults work out....what makes their parents think the pool is any different. I kept an eye on a little girl about 4 years old because her Dad left her playing on the steps of the pool while he did laps. Although he felt it was OK to leave his daughter alone, I didn't. So while I worked out, I kept one eye on the little girl.
I understand what it is like to have a small child and want to do things with them. I took Jenn to a Mommy and Me water fun class at the YMCA when she was small. Yes, a Mommy AND me class. I didn't bring her in the pool when children were not allowed.
I pay to go to the gym to work out....not babysit. I don't think it is an unreasonable request to ask the members of the gym to abide by the rules. This is not the local swim club.....
On Saturday and Sunday, I complained to the manager....they told me to contact corporate.....so I will....tomorrow morning.
Am I getting old and cranky?? No, I am think I have earned the time to workout with out screaming children.....I expect the services I am paying for.....not unreasonable is it?
Oh maybe I should just invest in a pair of earplugs.....
Maybe I am getting old.....and cranky. I just want to be able to work out in solitude. Young children would never be allowed on the other floors where the adults work out....what makes their parents think the pool is any different. I kept an eye on a little girl about 4 years old because her Dad left her playing on the steps of the pool while he did laps. Although he felt it was OK to leave his daughter alone, I didn't. So while I worked out, I kept one eye on the little girl.
I understand what it is like to have a small child and want to do things with them. I took Jenn to a Mommy and Me water fun class at the YMCA when she was small. Yes, a Mommy AND me class. I didn't bring her in the pool when children were not allowed.
I pay to go to the gym to work out....not babysit. I don't think it is an unreasonable request to ask the members of the gym to abide by the rules. This is not the local swim club.....
On Saturday and Sunday, I complained to the manager....they told me to contact corporate.....so I will....tomorrow morning.
Am I getting old and cranky?? No, I am think I have earned the time to workout with out screaming children.....I expect the services I am paying for.....not unreasonable is it?
Oh maybe I should just invest in a pair of earplugs.....
Sometimes Life Gets In The Way
While working to pick healthy options sometimes life throws you some curve balls. This week it was one social event after the other. A retirement drop in, a managers evening out, a team lunch for a retiree and lunch with my boss.
You can plan, you can strategise, and can summon up all your will power but it is still like walking in a field of landmines.
The retirement drop in.....I just didn't eat anything, I drank 2 cups of diet ice tea. This wasn't too hard. Although I have to say the Petite Fours were screaming my name. Event #1 over......
The team lunch......this was a little harder. I tried to pick things that wouldn't hurt too bad. I piece of Stromboli, 2 deviled eggs halves, some Greek salad, a couple of chicken strips, some chicken dip, some pasta salad....not huge quantities.....normal size portions or even less. Oh and some banana pudding for dessert.....OK so I tried but might not have done to well there.....thank goodness for bonus points. Event #2 over....
Leaders evening out......3 drinks, a Caesar salad with chicken and some fried dill pickle chips (oh boy). Event #3 gone....
Lunch with the boss....I looked ahead at where we were having lunch and tried to plan. A panini with roasted peppers, artichokes, mushrooms and mozzarella. I opted for fresh fruit instead of potato or pasta salad, passed on the flavored mayo and skipped dessert. OK this was really not too bad.....Event #4 finished.
Then horror of horrors, I found out the bagel with low fat cream cheese and tomato that I thought was 8 points turned out to be 11 points!!!!
No wonder I felt like the Goodyear Blimp by Saturday. I overslept and missed my weigh-in (maybe it was a subliminal thing so I wouldn't have to weigh-in). My solution was to weigh myself on the dreaded scale I bought last month. OK just as I feared it came up with a different weight depending on where I placed it on the bathroom floor. No matter where it was....I was up on the scale......not too much but up.
I can't beat myself up about this.....it was one of those crazy week and sometimes it happens. I did the best I could. I was very aware of trying to make the right choices......it was not a total disaster because on Saturday I went to the gym and started to regroup and plan again.
Weight Watchers stresses that just because you have some bad days doesn't mean you can't just start again....
That is one thing I love about Weight Watchers.....it allows you do-overs. Life gives us the opportunity for do-overs.....this journey I have been on has been one big do-over......
So wipe the slate clean.....here I go.....ready for a week without so many challenges or choices.....the only choice I am making this week is me.....
You can plan, you can strategise, and can summon up all your will power but it is still like walking in a field of landmines.
The retirement drop in.....I just didn't eat anything, I drank 2 cups of diet ice tea. This wasn't too hard. Although I have to say the Petite Fours were screaming my name. Event #1 over......
The team lunch......this was a little harder. I tried to pick things that wouldn't hurt too bad. I piece of Stromboli, 2 deviled eggs halves, some Greek salad, a couple of chicken strips, some chicken dip, some pasta salad....not huge quantities.....normal size portions or even less. Oh and some banana pudding for dessert.....OK so I tried but might not have done to well there.....thank goodness for bonus points. Event #2 over....
Leaders evening out......3 drinks, a Caesar salad with chicken and some fried dill pickle chips (oh boy). Event #3 gone....
Lunch with the boss....I looked ahead at where we were having lunch and tried to plan. A panini with roasted peppers, artichokes, mushrooms and mozzarella. I opted for fresh fruit instead of potato or pasta salad, passed on the flavored mayo and skipped dessert. OK this was really not too bad.....Event #4 finished.
Then horror of horrors, I found out the bagel with low fat cream cheese and tomato that I thought was 8 points turned out to be 11 points!!!!
No wonder I felt like the Goodyear Blimp by Saturday. I overslept and missed my weigh-in (maybe it was a subliminal thing so I wouldn't have to weigh-in). My solution was to weigh myself on the dreaded scale I bought last month. OK just as I feared it came up with a different weight depending on where I placed it on the bathroom floor. No matter where it was....I was up on the scale......not too much but up.
I can't beat myself up about this.....it was one of those crazy week and sometimes it happens. I did the best I could. I was very aware of trying to make the right choices......it was not a total disaster because on Saturday I went to the gym and started to regroup and plan again.
Weight Watchers stresses that just because you have some bad days doesn't mean you can't just start again....
That is one thing I love about Weight Watchers.....it allows you do-overs. Life gives us the opportunity for do-overs.....this journey I have been on has been one big do-over......
So wipe the slate clean.....here I go.....ready for a week without so many challenges or choices.....the only choice I am making this week is me.....
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Please Don't Let Me Die In The Shower
Everyone at one time or another thinks about when they will take their last breath....
Will it be as an old person surrounded by loved ones? Will it be sudden? Will it drag on?
I think I can handle any of that......
My biggest fear is dying in the shower!!!!!!
The thought of EMS, Police or some other official personnel having to drag my pathetic naked body out of the shower would be enough to kill me if I wasn't already dead. People have said to me that I wouldn't know since I was dead ......but somehow I would know!!!!!
Another incentive for me to keep going on this journey.....at least if I do die in the shower, I won't hear the laughter, jokes or the wise cracks about how I look.
Just in case, I am going to be prepared.....a better looking body is in my future but then again very few people really look good naked.....so what is my plan?
I have 2 choices.....shower in my clothes which doesn't really seem like a good option. So I guess just to be prepared I will choose option 2......I am going to buy the prettiest shower curtain I can find. At least then if I meet my maker while showering.....my exit will be more tolerable as I am wheeled out of the house draped in a beautiful shower curtain........problem solved!!!
Will it be as an old person surrounded by loved ones? Will it be sudden? Will it drag on?
I think I can handle any of that......
My biggest fear is dying in the shower!!!!!!
The thought of EMS, Police or some other official personnel having to drag my pathetic naked body out of the shower would be enough to kill me if I wasn't already dead. People have said to me that I wouldn't know since I was dead ......but somehow I would know!!!!!
Another incentive for me to keep going on this journey.....at least if I do die in the shower, I won't hear the laughter, jokes or the wise cracks about how I look.
Just in case, I am going to be prepared.....a better looking body is in my future but then again very few people really look good naked.....so what is my plan?
I have 2 choices.....shower in my clothes which doesn't really seem like a good option. So I guess just to be prepared I will choose option 2......I am going to buy the prettiest shower curtain I can find. At least then if I meet my maker while showering.....my exit will be more tolerable as I am wheeled out of the house draped in a beautiful shower curtain........problem solved!!!
I Don't Want To Go Backward
Due to the leg issue, I had to adjust my workouts last week. On Tuesday, I went to a water aerobics class. Once my leg started to hurt.....I just stood on my good leg and kept going. Thursday, I was ready to work out about 15 minutes before my scheduled appointment with Carol. The elliptical was empty so I thought....OK I will give this a try but take it real slow. I was on it almost 10 minutes when I heard a voice behind me say "What are you doing on that?" I turned around and Carol was standing there. I told her I was taking it easy but I wanted to at least spend 10 minutes on the elliptical. She waited while I finished. She has read this blog so she knew I had had some issues with my leg. We talked about what had happened. The rest of my workout consisted of using weights.....no stepper today.
I have to admit I was afraid I would hurt my leg again. Fortunately, I felt OK when I left the gym. When I got home I was waiting for the pain to start again.....there was some aching but no where near as bad as last week.
On Saturday and Sunday, I did laps in the pool.
My biggest fear was not about blood clots or the pain or the med's.....it was the fear of NOT being able to exercise......that's right.....the fear of NOT being able to continue my workouts!!!!
Well, I only missed last weekend at the gym and was back exercising by Tuesday. Maybe all the work at the gym in the last year helped to speed up my recovery.
I won't look backward......I won't go backward.....the only direction for me is straight ahead...
I have to admit I was afraid I would hurt my leg again. Fortunately, I felt OK when I left the gym. When I got home I was waiting for the pain to start again.....there was some aching but no where near as bad as last week.
On Saturday and Sunday, I did laps in the pool.
My biggest fear was not about blood clots or the pain or the med's.....it was the fear of NOT being able to exercise......that's right.....the fear of NOT being able to continue my workouts!!!!
Well, I only missed last weekend at the gym and was back exercising by Tuesday. Maybe all the work at the gym in the last year helped to speed up my recovery.
I won't look backward......I won't go backward.....the only direction for me is straight ahead...
Good Numbers at the Dr. Office
I went to the doctor on Friday. He gave me a copy of my blood work results. All numbers are within normal range and my BP was good too !! He said to keep up the healthy eating and excercising. I felt so positive. I feel like I got the semi-annual report card and got straught A's !!!!
My leg is feeling better. Some occassional aches but not enough to continue taking any pain killers except advil or tylenol PM.
The good report from the doctor is motivation to keep on wiht my lifestyle changes.
I left the doctor's office and drove home enjoying the unusually warm afternoon. I opened the sunroof and let the fresh air flow through the car.
It was one of those great to be alive afternoons.....
My leg is feeling better. Some occassional aches but not enough to continue taking any pain killers except advil or tylenol PM.
The good report from the doctor is motivation to keep on wiht my lifestyle changes.
I left the doctor's office and drove home enjoying the unusually warm afternoon. I opened the sunroof and let the fresh air flow through the car.
It was one of those great to be alive afternoons.....
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Could I go Vegan???
I learned about the difference between vegan and vegetarian this week. Oprah did a show about it.
There is no way I could go vegan.....give up my beloved CHEESE......never!! I could probably be a vegetarian. We don't eat beef that often any more. I am a little confused about the "can I eat poultry or fish part". I love veggies so no problem there but don't know if I could totally commit. Plus, I would have to make 2 sets of meals because my family would not be happy with the changes required for this lifestyle.
Could a be a kinda vegetarian? Maybe.....I will have to investigate and decide. I am already sort of headed that way. Lots of fruit and veggies.....not much beef any more....use a lot of ground turkey, turkey pastrami,turkey bacon, turkey salami and turkey pepperoni...... Could I allow myself the occasional steak or pork chop? I don't want to commit to something and fall short......I have done that too many times before.
Something new to think about....a lot of questions and no solid answers. Sounds like most of my journey.....I am working to figure out the pieces of the puzzle. I am not very good at puzzles and do not have a great deal of patience trying to fit the pieces together.
BUT I think I am at a point where I have finished the frame.....the outside edges of the puzzle. Time to work on all the pieces in the middle......
Here I go....twisting and turning the pieces....looking for something that fits....it can be frustrating, aggravating, take time, but when it is completed so rewarding......I am trying to figure out me......
There is no way I could go vegan.....give up my beloved CHEESE......never!! I could probably be a vegetarian. We don't eat beef that often any more. I am a little confused about the "can I eat poultry or fish part". I love veggies so no problem there but don't know if I could totally commit. Plus, I would have to make 2 sets of meals because my family would not be happy with the changes required for this lifestyle.
Could a be a kinda vegetarian? Maybe.....I will have to investigate and decide. I am already sort of headed that way. Lots of fruit and veggies.....not much beef any more....use a lot of ground turkey, turkey pastrami,turkey bacon, turkey salami and turkey pepperoni...... Could I allow myself the occasional steak or pork chop? I don't want to commit to something and fall short......I have done that too many times before.
Something new to think about....a lot of questions and no solid answers. Sounds like most of my journey.....I am working to figure out the pieces of the puzzle. I am not very good at puzzles and do not have a great deal of patience trying to fit the pieces together.
BUT I think I am at a point where I have finished the frame.....the outside edges of the puzzle. Time to work on all the pieces in the middle......
Here I go....twisting and turning the pieces....looking for something that fits....it can be frustrating, aggravating, take time, but when it is completed so rewarding......I am trying to figure out me......
Did You See Jennifer Hudson On Oprah???
OMG....I don't know if you caught Jennifer Hudson on Oprah this week....
She has lost 80 pounds.....ON WEIGHT WATCHERS !!!! She looks amazing. It was a great ad for Weight Watchers....she talked about the program, her meeting leader was there and a lot of her friends and family who have lost weight on the new program.
She talked about "diet mentality", exercise and not focusing on the numbers.
Tim Gunn was there ....he helped some of her family members with new clothes. He said something a lot of people do is continue to wear big baggy clothes as they lose weight. Maybe that is something I should think about a little more....
I tend to wear baggy clothes in order to not show how I really look.....but maybe just maybe some tops just a little more form fitting wouldn't be horrible.......maybe when I lose a little more weight....
I know I keep saying "in 5 more pounds this or 5 more pounds that" and that is the right way to go....but when I get down another 26 pounds and I will weigh less than I have in 10+ years....I am hoping to be there by June....then I will set another big goal while working on my smaller 5 pound increments....
The cardio workouts will defintely help.....
Not that losing the next 26 pounds will stop people from making fun of me or staring at me or the cruel remarks to painful to write down for all to read.....
But.....it will make me feel better about myself....and isn't that all that matters???
After all it is all about me.....
She has lost 80 pounds.....ON WEIGHT WATCHERS !!!! She looks amazing. It was a great ad for Weight Watchers....she talked about the program, her meeting leader was there and a lot of her friends and family who have lost weight on the new program.
She talked about "diet mentality", exercise and not focusing on the numbers.
Tim Gunn was there ....he helped some of her family members with new clothes. He said something a lot of people do is continue to wear big baggy clothes as they lose weight. Maybe that is something I should think about a little more....
I tend to wear baggy clothes in order to not show how I really look.....but maybe just maybe some tops just a little more form fitting wouldn't be horrible.......maybe when I lose a little more weight....
I know I keep saying "in 5 more pounds this or 5 more pounds that" and that is the right way to go....but when I get down another 26 pounds and I will weigh less than I have in 10+ years....I am hoping to be there by June....then I will set another big goal while working on my smaller 5 pound increments....
The cardio workouts will defintely help.....
Not that losing the next 26 pounds will stop people from making fun of me or staring at me or the cruel remarks to painful to write down for all to read.....
But.....it will make me feel better about myself....and isn't that all that matters???
After all it is all about me.....
My Leg.....Part 2
I called into work sick Friday. I have only called in sick 2 times in 12 years!!! The other time was because I had been bit by a spider and my leg swelled up.
I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. I walked around for 4 days with a broken arm (I thought I had just banged it bad when I took a fall)before I went to the Dr. to have it checked and ended up in a cast from my shoulder to my hand. Even that day I called work and said I would be in after the orthopedist but my manager told me to go home instead of coming into the office. So does that count as a day I called in sick....no....because I planned to go to work.
Anyway.....those of you who know me well know I do not do Doctor's or call in sick unless ......well ....unless....it has to be....extreme pain. And this was...
The other thing the Dr. mentioned is to watch my leg for swelling, if it feels really hot or really cold....what for I ask?? In case, it is a blood clot!! A blood clot??? Great !!! Now I start checking my leg ever 15 minutes....
Fortunately, it does not swell or get hot or cold....
Fortunaley, the pain med's do their job....
Fortunately, within 24 hours of my doctor visit....the pain level is down to 2-3 range....
Fortunately, I do not have to take the steroids (which can make you jumpy and want to eat carb's)....for those of you who have never seen me after a few cups of regular coffee...you don't know what a blessing it is for me not to be jumpy!!!
I decide to follow the dr's orders and lay low for the week-end.....I sure didn't want the pain level to increase again.
I manage to stretch out the time between med's....but last night had to give in and take them again....I hate taking medicine!!!
It is Sunday morning and I am greatful to be able to sit at my computer and type this entry....yes, I took some med's this morning.....
I know there are people who for one reason or another walk around or live in constant pain....I don't know how they do it....
I feel like a weenie for complaining about the pain the last few days....I am also eternally grateful to Mr. Tylenol and Mr. Codiene....I owe you guys...
I have a pretty high tolerance for pain. I walked around for 4 days with a broken arm (I thought I had just banged it bad when I took a fall)before I went to the Dr. to have it checked and ended up in a cast from my shoulder to my hand. Even that day I called work and said I would be in after the orthopedist but my manager told me to go home instead of coming into the office. So does that count as a day I called in sick....no....because I planned to go to work.
Anyway.....those of you who know me well know I do not do Doctor's or call in sick unless ......well ....unless....it has to be....extreme pain. And this was...
The other thing the Dr. mentioned is to watch my leg for swelling, if it feels really hot or really cold....what for I ask?? In case, it is a blood clot!! A blood clot??? Great !!! Now I start checking my leg ever 15 minutes....
Fortunately, it does not swell or get hot or cold....
Fortunaley, the pain med's do their job....
Fortunately, within 24 hours of my doctor visit....the pain level is down to 2-3 range....
Fortunately, I do not have to take the steroids (which can make you jumpy and want to eat carb's)....for those of you who have never seen me after a few cups of regular coffee...you don't know what a blessing it is for me not to be jumpy!!!
I decide to follow the dr's orders and lay low for the week-end.....I sure didn't want the pain level to increase again.
I manage to stretch out the time between med's....but last night had to give in and take them again....I hate taking medicine!!!
It is Sunday morning and I am greatful to be able to sit at my computer and type this entry....yes, I took some med's this morning.....
I know there are people who for one reason or another walk around or live in constant pain....I don't know how they do it....
I feel like a weenie for complaining about the pain the last few days....I am also eternally grateful to Mr. Tylenol and Mr. Codiene....I owe you guys...
What Did I Do To My Leg ?????
I had a great workout Thursday night.....cardio, cardio, cardio. Carol trying to figure out why it is harder for me to do 12 rep's of lifting weights over my head and arms straight up while standing vs. sitting....
Anyway, I am home about 1 hour and my knee starts to ache.....then the pain starts to move up and down my leg. And I am talking pain.....on a scale of 1-10.....it is feeling like an "8"!!! I can't sit.....the leg hurts, I can't lay down.....the leg hurts. The only way I get relief is standing up and moving my leg until it stops aching. By 11, I am in tears....I even looked up to see if there was a doc in the box open....no such luck. Took 3 Advil and then later on Advil PM. I finally fall asleep with a heating pad on my leg .....in the recliner.
Friday morning, I wake up.....no pain!! I think great it's over. While I am getting ready for work....the pain starts to come back. I think OK I can handle this.....I can go to work and fortunately have a Dr. appt. Friday afternoon for a cholesterol check up, I think I can wait until then....
WRONG!!!!!!
I get about half way to work and have to pull over to the side of the road. I call Jenn for the dr. phone number. Instead of going to work I drive to the dr. office and asked to be worked in....NOW!!
I am the only one standing in the waiting room.....there are chairs but once again....I cannot sit due to the pain. I am taken to an examining room.....where I stand for 45 minutes. The Dr. comes in while I am crying and leaning on the exam table....on one leg.
She thinks it is something muscular and maybe skeletal. She prescribes Tylenol with codeine, an anti-inflammatory, a muscle relaxant and if needed steroids.
While waiting for my med's to be filled at CVS, guess what I am doing?? Standing in the parking lot next to my car.....trying to relieve the pain.
Back home...take the med's....heating pad on the leg and wait and wait and wait for the pain to go away.....finally......gradually.....the pain starts to fade. I drift off to sleep...
Anyway, I am home about 1 hour and my knee starts to ache.....then the pain starts to move up and down my leg. And I am talking pain.....on a scale of 1-10.....it is feeling like an "8"!!! I can't sit.....the leg hurts, I can't lay down.....the leg hurts. The only way I get relief is standing up and moving my leg until it stops aching. By 11, I am in tears....I even looked up to see if there was a doc in the box open....no such luck. Took 3 Advil and then later on Advil PM. I finally fall asleep with a heating pad on my leg .....in the recliner.
Friday morning, I wake up.....no pain!! I think great it's over. While I am getting ready for work....the pain starts to come back. I think OK I can handle this.....I can go to work and fortunately have a Dr. appt. Friday afternoon for a cholesterol check up, I think I can wait until then....
WRONG!!!!!!
I get about half way to work and have to pull over to the side of the road. I call Jenn for the dr. phone number. Instead of going to work I drive to the dr. office and asked to be worked in....NOW!!
I am the only one standing in the waiting room.....there are chairs but once again....I cannot sit due to the pain. I am taken to an examining room.....where I stand for 45 minutes. The Dr. comes in while I am crying and leaning on the exam table....on one leg.
She thinks it is something muscular and maybe skeletal. She prescribes Tylenol with codeine, an anti-inflammatory, a muscle relaxant and if needed steroids.
While waiting for my med's to be filled at CVS, guess what I am doing?? Standing in the parking lot next to my car.....trying to relieve the pain.
Back home...take the med's....heating pad on the leg and wait and wait and wait for the pain to go away.....finally......gradually.....the pain starts to fade. I drift off to sleep...
Sunday, February 6, 2011
So Is It Harder To Turn 30, 40 or 50 ??
I guess I should start by saying......we should all be grateful to celebrate each and every birthday considering the loved ones we have all lost much too soon.
Jenn asked me last night which was harder turning 30, 40 or 50......hhhhhmmmm.
30 is a strange birthday. Something about turning 30 makes you no longer a kid.....teens and 20's left behind. Just having a "3" in front of another number makes a difference. You can still be the hero by applying a band aid, allowing ice cream for breakfast and cherish the child who plays in the laundry basket like it is a car until they fall asleep in it.
40....I referred to it as one of the few "F" words I wouldn't say......mid-life..... if I am lucky.....kind of stuck in the middle.....still raising children but now instead of practicing spelling words and learning multiplication tables......you deal with the phrase "Mom, can I use the car?"
50.....OK first of all.....how did I get here so fast???....Jenn off to college....empty nest.....time for me.....WOW.....it takes a while to figure that part out when you have put everyone else first......actually 50 has been the easiest transition.....I have found it freeing......doing the things I want to do......time to read, learn a new language, work out, experiment with healthy foods, focus on getting healthy and losing weight.....working this decade to make sure I can be here for the next and the next and the next.....
Hopefully, due to the steps I am taking now.....you will all have a chance to continue reading my blog for years to come.....oh yeah, my blog....another thing I have come to enjoy.......I love to write.....I wish I had started taking it seriously years ago....whats done is done.....
I am a writer.....and think I am pretty darn good at it too.....there is no great American novel inside me.....but a few posts each week and who knows.....there may be a book there after all.....and it will be dedicated to all of you......my family, my friends and my supporters.....
Jenn asked me last night which was harder turning 30, 40 or 50......hhhhhmmmm.
30 is a strange birthday. Something about turning 30 makes you no longer a kid.....teens and 20's left behind. Just having a "3" in front of another number makes a difference. You can still be the hero by applying a band aid, allowing ice cream for breakfast and cherish the child who plays in the laundry basket like it is a car until they fall asleep in it.
40....I referred to it as one of the few "F" words I wouldn't say......mid-life..... if I am lucky.....kind of stuck in the middle.....still raising children but now instead of practicing spelling words and learning multiplication tables......you deal with the phrase "Mom, can I use the car?"
50.....OK first of all.....how did I get here so fast???....Jenn off to college....empty nest.....time for me.....WOW.....it takes a while to figure that part out when you have put everyone else first......actually 50 has been the easiest transition.....I have found it freeing......doing the things I want to do......time to read, learn a new language, work out, experiment with healthy foods, focus on getting healthy and losing weight.....working this decade to make sure I can be here for the next and the next and the next.....
Hopefully, due to the steps I am taking now.....you will all have a chance to continue reading my blog for years to come.....oh yeah, my blog....another thing I have come to enjoy.......I love to write.....I wish I had started taking it seriously years ago....whats done is done.....
I am a writer.....and think I am pretty darn good at it too.....there is no great American novel inside me.....but a few posts each week and who knows.....there may be a book there after all.....and it will be dedicated to all of you......my family, my friends and my supporters.....
I Have Grown Taller......Inside
As I look for physical changes along my path of losing weight, eating healthier and maintaining a healthy lifestyle......I have to look at how I have changed inside too.
While the scales are still either my friend or enemy depending on the dreaded weigh-in each Saturday.....(the last 3 weeks the scale has been my friend.....sticking with my rule of not saying how much but suffice it to say I weigh less now than I have in 5 years!!!).....I am also changing on the inside.
I believe... it is the inside that takes the biggest beating. Being told "I don't know why you bother with the gym.....I don't see any improvement"....really hurts and I still am not strong enough emotionally to let those kind of words bounce off of me. On the outside, I may appear confident to those who don't know me well or some of those who do.....but the years of beating myself up and allowing others to beat me up has taken it's toll. It is not something I can fix over night.
The outside of me may get there long before the inside does.....
I watched a movie a long time ago about a teenager going to visit her estranged father for a summer. By the time she was ready to return home, her father's girlfriend said to her "Have you grown this summer.....you seem taller." To which the teenager replied " I have grown taller.....inside"
That is another part of my journey I need to deal with.....while the outside gets smaller......slowly but surely I am growing.....inside....
While the scales are still either my friend or enemy depending on the dreaded weigh-in each Saturday.....(the last 3 weeks the scale has been my friend.....sticking with my rule of not saying how much but suffice it to say I weigh less now than I have in 5 years!!!).....I am also changing on the inside.
I believe... it is the inside that takes the biggest beating. Being told "I don't know why you bother with the gym.....I don't see any improvement"....really hurts and I still am not strong enough emotionally to let those kind of words bounce off of me. On the outside, I may appear confident to those who don't know me well or some of those who do.....but the years of beating myself up and allowing others to beat me up has taken it's toll. It is not something I can fix over night.
The outside of me may get there long before the inside does.....
I watched a movie a long time ago about a teenager going to visit her estranged father for a summer. By the time she was ready to return home, her father's girlfriend said to her "Have you grown this summer.....you seem taller." To which the teenager replied " I have grown taller.....inside"
That is another part of my journey I need to deal with.....while the outside gets smaller......slowly but surely I am growing.....inside....
Super Bowl Sunday
By the time Jenn was 2, she knew many football signals. If someone said,"touchdown"....her arms flew up in the air, same with "timeout", "offsides" and "clipping". I have a picture of her sitting next to her Dad, baby bottle in her mouth, wearing a New York Giants shirt. The girl loves sports about as much as most guys she knows.
My dad loved football and baseball....
He and my brother stood on line many Sunday mornings at Yankee Stadium waiting to see if they could get tickets to the Giants game any given Sunday. Sometimes they got lucky and would get tickets....other times they would walk back to our Bronx apartment empty handed.
My father died on Super Bowl Sunday a year before his beloved Giants not only went to the Super Bowl for the first time.....they also won the game. I wish he could have been here to see it.
Dad was a Brooklyn Dodger fan as a kid but by the time his kids were growing up he had become a Yankee fan. I remember going to a game with my parents, brother Greg and several of Greg's friends for his birthday. It was one of those games where the Yankees were battling with Boston for 1st place. It was the comeback year for the Yankees after years of not making it to the post season. Dad was a good sport and took the kids over to wait while the players walked out of the stadium. He enjoyed seeing the players leave as much as the kids did.....
So today as I watch the game.....I will be thinking of Dad.....
Then comes the next big issue......what to eat?? even if you are not going to a Super Bowl party or a bar to watch the game.....I still feel a need to make some special treats....
Shrimp is a good option....low in points.
Low fat sour cream mixed with a package of fiesta dip to eat with cukes....another good option.
Marinated mushrooms.....yum....a freebie in the points dept.
OK....so now I have my game plan to offset the pizza bagels, crab cakes and anything else that might be on the menu.....
Ready, set, go......it's time to play ball and watch the commercials....I wish it was the Giants taking the field today....and somewhere I bet my Dad does too....
My dad loved football and baseball....
He and my brother stood on line many Sunday mornings at Yankee Stadium waiting to see if they could get tickets to the Giants game any given Sunday. Sometimes they got lucky and would get tickets....other times they would walk back to our Bronx apartment empty handed.
My father died on Super Bowl Sunday a year before his beloved Giants not only went to the Super Bowl for the first time.....they also won the game. I wish he could have been here to see it.
Dad was a Brooklyn Dodger fan as a kid but by the time his kids were growing up he had become a Yankee fan. I remember going to a game with my parents, brother Greg and several of Greg's friends for his birthday. It was one of those games where the Yankees were battling with Boston for 1st place. It was the comeback year for the Yankees after years of not making it to the post season. Dad was a good sport and took the kids over to wait while the players walked out of the stadium. He enjoyed seeing the players leave as much as the kids did.....
So today as I watch the game.....I will be thinking of Dad.....
Then comes the next big issue......what to eat?? even if you are not going to a Super Bowl party or a bar to watch the game.....I still feel a need to make some special treats....
Shrimp is a good option....low in points.
Low fat sour cream mixed with a package of fiesta dip to eat with cukes....another good option.
Marinated mushrooms.....yum....a freebie in the points dept.
OK....so now I have my game plan to offset the pizza bagels, crab cakes and anything else that might be on the menu.....
Ready, set, go......it's time to play ball and watch the commercials....I wish it was the Giants taking the field today....and somewhere I bet my Dad does too....
Trying to Find Ways To Eat Some of My Favorite Foods
Although with the new WW Points Plus program most veggies and fruits are 0 points, Carol thinks I should stay away from some fruits. Banana's, grapes, pineapple, cantaloupe, watermelon.....are loaded with natural sugars. Although she feels the WW program is heading in the right direction now that they calculate fat, protein, carb's and fiber.....Carol wants me to also focus on sugar. She has suggested I stick with berries.....straw, blue, rasp....I am not a big raspberry or blueberry fan so strawberries it is!!
I bought a large basket of strawberries yesterday (on sale for $7....uuugghhh).Now how to eat them? I do like them plain....that is good. Now, I am trying to search for other ways to eat them.
Here is my newest brain storm.....once I find the new whole wheat flat bread for 1 point, I am going to put some peanut butter on it and slice some strawberries to add on top. My own form of PB & J.......I love PB and J!!!!... 1 point for the bread, 0 points from the strawberries and a couple of points from the PB. Not a bad idea since I love strawberry preserves. I will let you know how it tastes.
If I eat pasta....I put less in the bowl and add veggies to build up the bulk. I really enjoy the mushrooms and spinach I add.
I saw a great recipe for a soup that is thick, bulky, has lots of veggies and is low in points.....I know I will be trying that soon.
I am like a mad scientist in the kitchen....trying to figure out things I like and things that work for my goal of a healthier lifestyle.....
It's not that I don't crave some of the foods I shouldn't have.....I am just trying to find a way to have them and still eat healthy.
Am I saying a slice of carrot cake or a chocolate covered pretzel will never pass my lips again??.....NO.....that is not realistic......making healthy choices each and every day will allow me to have those occasional treats.....
Right now my life is all about choices......and I choose me......
I bought a large basket of strawberries yesterday (on sale for $7....uuugghhh).Now how to eat them? I do like them plain....that is good. Now, I am trying to search for other ways to eat them.
Here is my newest brain storm.....once I find the new whole wheat flat bread for 1 point, I am going to put some peanut butter on it and slice some strawberries to add on top. My own form of PB & J.......I love PB and J!!!!... 1 point for the bread, 0 points from the strawberries and a couple of points from the PB. Not a bad idea since I love strawberry preserves. I will let you know how it tastes.
If I eat pasta....I put less in the bowl and add veggies to build up the bulk. I really enjoy the mushrooms and spinach I add.
I saw a great recipe for a soup that is thick, bulky, has lots of veggies and is low in points.....I know I will be trying that soon.
I am like a mad scientist in the kitchen....trying to figure out things I like and things that work for my goal of a healthier lifestyle.....
It's not that I don't crave some of the foods I shouldn't have.....I am just trying to find a way to have them and still eat healthy.
Am I saying a slice of carrot cake or a chocolate covered pretzel will never pass my lips again??.....NO.....that is not realistic......making healthy choices each and every day will allow me to have those occasional treats.....
Right now my life is all about choices......and I choose me......
Sharing At The Meetings......
One of the good things about going to the Weight Watcher meetings is hearing info from the other members. New recipes, what works and what doesn't. With the new points program many types of bread have gone up in points so I have been steering clear of them. While chatting with one of the ladies sitting next to me, she told me about Extreme Wellness Flat Bread (1 point) and the whole wheat and spinach herb options are very good. I searched for them at Publix without any success but will keep looking for them.
Kay, our meeting leader, keeps us laughing and motivated. If you are a regular and you miss some meetings.....you can expect a post card from Kay checking in. If she knows you have had a hard week, chances are you will get a phone call. When I had 2 bad weeks in a row a while back, Kay tracked me down and let a cryptic message on my answering machine at home. "Hi Donna, It's Kay, your Saturday morning buddy. Here's my number give me a call..." I told her at the meeting next week how much I appreciated her call. I also told her I thought it was funny how she identified herself on the answering machine. She said "I didn't know who might hear the message and she was trying to protect my privacy" I really appreciated her thoughtfulness.
Some of Kay's good advice:
The weeks you gain....you need the meeting.
The weeks you lose.....the meeting needs you.
All points are NOT created equal.
That last piece of advice has stuck with me. I am allocated a certain amount of points each day and bonus points for the week. I can also earn activity points for exercising (I do not use those activity points). Back to the points....for example....I could eat a candy bar for 6 points or a salad with chicken for 6 points. Although they are the same amount of points, the wiser choice would be the salad with chicken. I try to think about my choices and pick the right options.
This week I went to Ruby Tuesday for a business lunch. Guess what I did before I went??.......I googled Ruby Tuesday's and checked out the menu. I was able to decide what I would have before I went......it made lunch so much easier and I was able to allocate my points appropriately.
This month there will be a birthday brunch at work. I am already searching out recipes from my different weight loss/healthy option websites so I can make something I can enjoy.
A team ice cream social is coming up this week....I will bring something low in fat and calories and maybe a Weight Watcher dessert for myself.
Like Kay says it's all about planning......
I continue to plan, write it all down, take one day at a time......sometimes one meal at a time.....I am doing the best I can.....so on I go.....
Kay, our meeting leader, keeps us laughing and motivated. If you are a regular and you miss some meetings.....you can expect a post card from Kay checking in. If she knows you have had a hard week, chances are you will get a phone call. When I had 2 bad weeks in a row a while back, Kay tracked me down and let a cryptic message on my answering machine at home. "Hi Donna, It's Kay, your Saturday morning buddy. Here's my number give me a call..." I told her at the meeting next week how much I appreciated her call. I also told her I thought it was funny how she identified herself on the answering machine. She said "I didn't know who might hear the message and she was trying to protect my privacy" I really appreciated her thoughtfulness.
Some of Kay's good advice:
The weeks you gain....you need the meeting.
The weeks you lose.....the meeting needs you.
All points are NOT created equal.
That last piece of advice has stuck with me. I am allocated a certain amount of points each day and bonus points for the week. I can also earn activity points for exercising (I do not use those activity points). Back to the points....for example....I could eat a candy bar for 6 points or a salad with chicken for 6 points. Although they are the same amount of points, the wiser choice would be the salad with chicken. I try to think about my choices and pick the right options.
This week I went to Ruby Tuesday for a business lunch. Guess what I did before I went??.......I googled Ruby Tuesday's and checked out the menu. I was able to decide what I would have before I went......it made lunch so much easier and I was able to allocate my points appropriately.
This month there will be a birthday brunch at work. I am already searching out recipes from my different weight loss/healthy option websites so I can make something I can enjoy.
A team ice cream social is coming up this week....I will bring something low in fat and calories and maybe a Weight Watcher dessert for myself.
Like Kay says it's all about planning......
I continue to plan, write it all down, take one day at a time......sometimes one meal at a time.....I am doing the best I can.....so on I go.....
On the Elliptical All By Myself...
It took 6 months of healing but I am finally able to go back on the elliptical without Carol standing next to me correcting my posture. So far my hip doesn't hurt (oh no..... is that like saying there is no traffic??). I am very excited because I know my time on the elliptical is pure cardio and that is what I need. We did the stepper using the riser and I did pretty well. Drank lots of water. No real breaks in the workout. When we were done, Carol said she would meet me upstairs to sign in. In the past, I took the elevator from being so worn out. This time I took the stairs. It is three flights of about 12-15 stairs ( I am guessing, next time I will count). Carol was waiting for me. When she saw me go all the way to the back of come up the last stair.....she said "You did the stairs??" I said I had....that earned me a High 5 from her. I also went back down the stairs. The problems with the stairs is 2 fold.....the line on my bifocals seems to hit right where the stair is so I have to watch my step and going up isn't too bad but going down is when I feel the difference in the length of my legs ( I am telling you one if definitely shorter than the other). But anyway I did the damn stairs.....I had said in a post last week that it was one of my goals to walk further and use the stairs more often.
I do want to apologize to the traffic jam I might have caused going back down the stairs. Going up I did them like everyone else but going down it was not quite as graceful......oh well......it is what it is!!!
I didn't use the stairs at work this week but there is always next week. I DID NOT search for close parking spots!! I parked where ever I found a spot.....OK I did not seek out the empty spot in the back of the lot but I also did not drive around for 10 minutes looking for one closer.
Baby steps......it's all about baby steps....
I do want to apologize to the traffic jam I might have caused going back down the stairs. Going up I did them like everyone else but going down it was not quite as graceful......oh well......it is what it is!!!
I didn't use the stairs at work this week but there is always next week. I DID NOT search for close parking spots!! I parked where ever I found a spot.....OK I did not seek out the empty spot in the back of the lot but I also did not drive around for 10 minutes looking for one closer.
Baby steps......it's all about baby steps....
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