The Brooklyn Dodgers spent many years as the team that could never win the big game. Year after year they watched the hated New York Yankees win World Series after World Series. Dodger fans would always say "Wait until next year"....always faithful and full of hope. When they finally beat the dreaded Yankees in 1955, the New York newspapers headlines said "THIS IS NEXT YEAR!!!!".
For years my mantra has been....next year for this or next year for that. Jenn even commented that I often say maybe next year.
My Mom's passing did something to me. It changed me. No longer do I want to be the "next year" girl. I want to start making things happen.
In July, I will be taking my first real vacation in a zillion years. Not that I discount all the family trips to the Jersey Shore and the like but this is a real grown up vacation. My first time using a passport. All inclusive. No one to worry about but me. It took years and losing my Mom to get me to do it. Now, I am planning to take a vacation every year. My time has come. Yes, it easy because I do not have to worry about college expenses for Jenn....that is behind us (well kind of.....8 more years of payments and we are done).
I have even changed about the small things......3 pairs of flip flops....no problem......a waterproof pedometer.....why not? I am not by any stretch going off the deep end but I think I have earned the right to get things I want. Yes, the mortgage and other bills get paid but I no longer stress over every single thing and try not to walk around like Chicken Little looking for the sky to fall.
I have said for the last few years I am trying to make my life now about me and feel like I am heading in the right direction. The vacation was a gigantic step....for me.
I don't know when my time here will be up.....but my intention is to not say at the end of my life....I should have this or I should have that.......instead I plan on creating memories that will carrying me into my old age.
There may not be mountains for me to climb but there is still time for so many other things......knowing that I have had more yesterday's than I do tomorrow's makes me feel I do not have time to waste.....time to get that Bucket List together so I can start crossing off items......
No more wait until next year........next year starts today.......
Monday, May 28, 2012
You Really Have To Get To Know The Me Inside
I hate that people have to get past the physical side of people to really get to know them. Me for example......a perfect body...NOT.......and most people do not care if you are a work in progress. They look at you and make judgements and decisions. I wish I was strong enough to say the hell with them but I am not. We all want to be liked and loved. We all want to be part of the "in" group (more in High School than now). We all want to look our best. Yet, I am sure that most everyone has something they have about themselves that they are hung up about. The hard part is when the thing you are so unsure of is so visible to others. When you add criticism to the mix.......it can but so hard to over come. There are times when I want to pull back from everyone and just lick my wounds. But who do I hurt most by pulling back.....OK let's say the answer all together.....ME!!! While I may not make it in the best body department, I do feel like I do pretty well in the heart category. I don't try to compete, I celebrate others good luck and I appreciate what I have. I am not saying that there aren't more things I still want but when I feel that little green monster of Envy creeping into my head I try to battle it. I try to accept my lot in life but do continue to dream.
I look better on the inside than on the outside. And the bottom line is I wouldn't want to give up the inside for the outside. The outside is where the world can view my failures. I wish they could see the inside of me.....my heart.....my compassion......my soul. The world can be cruel when judging just by looking at the physical. When I was speaking with one of the senior management last week I told her the hard part of an interview for me is to get the interviewer to get past what I look like and get to know what I have to offer. It must have worked with the job I have now because I was hired last year after just one interview. I try to get to know individuals when I am the person doing the interview. I know how hard it can be to sit on the other side of the desk.
Then you have your friends.....the ones that know you warts and all. The people you can tell your darkest secrets too. How many people can you truly open up to........not just about the good stuff (that's easy).......but the things you are too embarrassed for most of the world to know. I am lucky to have a few friends that know just about everything there is to know about me and they still like me in spite of the dark clouds. They still encourage me, they listen, they suggest and they accept me as I am. They understand my desire to improve the outside of me but care about me for what I have to offer inside.
There is so much about which I am not confident but this I know.......not getting to know me.....then you have missed something special. Kind, caring, compassionate, wicked sense of humor, able to laugh at myself .......hey who wouldn't want a friend like that.
What was that I just said.....sounded like some self-confidence......well what do you know.....there is hope for me yet.........
I look better on the inside than on the outside. And the bottom line is I wouldn't want to give up the inside for the outside. The outside is where the world can view my failures. I wish they could see the inside of me.....my heart.....my compassion......my soul. The world can be cruel when judging just by looking at the physical. When I was speaking with one of the senior management last week I told her the hard part of an interview for me is to get the interviewer to get past what I look like and get to know what I have to offer. It must have worked with the job I have now because I was hired last year after just one interview. I try to get to know individuals when I am the person doing the interview. I know how hard it can be to sit on the other side of the desk.
Then you have your friends.....the ones that know you warts and all. The people you can tell your darkest secrets too. How many people can you truly open up to........not just about the good stuff (that's easy).......but the things you are too embarrassed for most of the world to know. I am lucky to have a few friends that know just about everything there is to know about me and they still like me in spite of the dark clouds. They still encourage me, they listen, they suggest and they accept me as I am. They understand my desire to improve the outside of me but care about me for what I have to offer inside.
There is so much about which I am not confident but this I know.......not getting to know me.....then you have missed something special. Kind, caring, compassionate, wicked sense of humor, able to laugh at myself .......hey who wouldn't want a friend like that.
What was that I just said.....sounded like some self-confidence......well what do you know.....there is hope for me yet.........
I Love Bargains
Last week, I wrote about buying a few pairs of Yellow Boxes flip flops. At the time I felt like I was getting a great deal at $21.99 a pair (I think some of them should have been $29.99)......this week end they were on sale for $17.99. Those of you who know me well know what that meant.....another trip to Belks to get a refund of the sales price. Hey.....it meant over $21.00 (including taxes) back in my pocket (and Jenn's too).
At CVS, we wanted to pick up a few things we needed. Apparently, we bought the right things because we ended up with $10 in CVS bucks. More savings.....
Today, I went to Joann's with my friend, Kathy, to get material for some more tops like the Oprah top from last year. We picked out three patterns.....one is a leopard print that we both LOVED!!!! The material was 50% off. At the register, we got another discount. So the material that should have cost $75 plus tax ended up costing me $34......how can you beat that????
A lady standing next to me while they were cutting my material asked me what the material was for.......I told her it was for sheer tops to wear over tank tops. She asked me how long did it take to make them. I told her it took me no time at all. I then pointed at Kathy and said you might want to ask her how long they take to make since Kathy is the one who creates them for me. LOL Kathy told the lady they take about an hour to make......an hour of her time on each top to make me feel like a million dollars........thank goodness I do not have to pay her.......yes, pictures will follow.....stay tuned.....
At CVS, we wanted to pick up a few things we needed. Apparently, we bought the right things because we ended up with $10 in CVS bucks. More savings.....
Today, I went to Joann's with my friend, Kathy, to get material for some more tops like the Oprah top from last year. We picked out three patterns.....one is a leopard print that we both LOVED!!!! The material was 50% off. At the register, we got another discount. So the material that should have cost $75 plus tax ended up costing me $34......how can you beat that????
A lady standing next to me while they were cutting my material asked me what the material was for.......I told her it was for sheer tops to wear over tank tops. She asked me how long did it take to make them. I told her it took me no time at all. I then pointed at Kathy and said you might want to ask her how long they take to make since Kathy is the one who creates them for me. LOL Kathy told the lady they take about an hour to make......an hour of her time on each top to make me feel like a million dollars........thank goodness I do not have to pay her.......yes, pictures will follow.....stay tuned.....
I Can't Even Figure Out The Earphones
My Speedo Aquabeat2 arrived on Saturday. Loading the music from my IPOD onto it was easy.....for Jenn. Meanwhile, I played with the earphones. Just trying to get those suckers on my ears was a trip. Jenn laughed as I tried them on from various angles. I finally had to take my glasses off to get them on my ears and then put my glasses back on. And the part that goes in my ears....it moves. Which makes sense except when I finally got the earphones hooked around each ear and then had to re-align them to get the earphones in my ears.....what a mess. I tried to figure out the pedometer......no such luck. Even Jenn struggled with that.......I ending up calling Speedo. They gave me another phone number. Of course, they were closed for the week-end and the holiday. I will call them tomorrow....listen to these weird customer service hours.......10-4 pacific time???? I thought the whole world operated on EST.....maybe I am being a snob thinking everyone should work based the time on the east coast....LOL.
Saturday, I was out in the car while Jenn was shopping at Kohls. At one point I started to laugh. I had my IPhone plugged in and charging. I was playing my IPod and reading my Kindle. Thank goodness I hadn't brought my IPad along.....LOL. I may have gone a little over the top on the electronics thing but once my Aquabeat2 in recording all of my times jogged in the pool.......I will be a happy camper. I mean what else could I need.......but then again I was the person who told Bob the VCR's were a waste of money about 25 plus years ago. I remember saying "what the hell do I need something for to record TV shows while I am not home" At that time they ran about $500, had a wired remote that stretched across the living room and you needed a degree in Nuclear Physics to program them.......OK maybe a slight exaggeration but pretty close for me.
Now, I can't get through a day without my laptop, IPhone, Kindle and dear God please don't take away my DVR.......now if I can just get the Aquabeat2 to record my steps and miles.......
Saturday, I was out in the car while Jenn was shopping at Kohls. At one point I started to laugh. I had my IPhone plugged in and charging. I was playing my IPod and reading my Kindle. Thank goodness I hadn't brought my IPad along.....LOL. I may have gone a little over the top on the electronics thing but once my Aquabeat2 in recording all of my times jogged in the pool.......I will be a happy camper. I mean what else could I need.......but then again I was the person who told Bob the VCR's were a waste of money about 25 plus years ago. I remember saying "what the hell do I need something for to record TV shows while I am not home" At that time they ran about $500, had a wired remote that stretched across the living room and you needed a degree in Nuclear Physics to program them.......OK maybe a slight exaggeration but pretty close for me.
Now, I can't get through a day without my laptop, IPhone, Kindle and dear God please don't take away my DVR.......now if I can just get the Aquabeat2 to record my steps and miles.......
Sunday, May 20, 2012
I Am Definitely Feeling Happier....
It is strange when you notice that you are happy. I am sure there are people who are happy most of the time so they wouldn't notice. I have felt good/happy all week-end. I can't believe I have to make a statement saying that....
Some of the things that made me happy.....
1. Not having to go to Walmart......I food shop on Wednesday night now so I don't have to go there on the week-end.
2. I walked a lot this week-end. I had started to get lazy. I was pulling up to stores and letting Jenn run in for what I needed. The last few days, I have been parking the car and walking around the stores too. Today, I was all over Target.....it felt good to get back into the routine of getting my sorry ass out of the car and taking care of my own errands.
3. Two days of jogging for at least 45 minutes in the pool. I really challenged myself to pick up speed. I also do not look at the clock for as long as I can. It is fun to check it out after a while and see how long I have been going.
4. Not too many food issues this week-end.
5. I put solar lights back in front of my house (the old ones were stolen).
6. I found time each day to sit on a rocking chair on the front porch and enjoy the great weather.
7. Plenty of time on the phone with friends and family.....all good conversations.
My happiness project is definitely working......I feel good.....it must be all those endorphins at work....
Some of the things that made me happy.....
1. Not having to go to Walmart......I food shop on Wednesday night now so I don't have to go there on the week-end.
2. I walked a lot this week-end. I had started to get lazy. I was pulling up to stores and letting Jenn run in for what I needed. The last few days, I have been parking the car and walking around the stores too. Today, I was all over Target.....it felt good to get back into the routine of getting my sorry ass out of the car and taking care of my own errands.
3. Two days of jogging for at least 45 minutes in the pool. I really challenged myself to pick up speed. I also do not look at the clock for as long as I can. It is fun to check it out after a while and see how long I have been going.
4. Not too many food issues this week-end.
5. I put solar lights back in front of my house (the old ones were stolen).
6. I found time each day to sit on a rocking chair on the front porch and enjoy the great weather.
7. Plenty of time on the phone with friends and family.....all good conversations.
My happiness project is definitely working......I feel good.....it must be all those endorphins at work....
Stop Looking at the Big Picture
I have set smaller goals. 5 pounds at a time. I keep looking too far ahead and then feel defeated when I am not making the progress I desire.
My rings are looser on my fingers....most days. I have been able to wear a ring recently that I haven't worn in a few years.
I was able to buy flip flops in a smaller size......does that matter???My shoes size width is still wide (what a surprise).
Sometimes I wear more fitted tops. A major break through for me.
But as I do lose some weight....there is ugly sagging skin that I have to look at. I can now see my feet..... but in my slacks there is that ugly saggy skin......not a very pretty sight. I can only expect that to get worse as I continue to lose. I will have to find exercise to tighten that up. But at my age.....I am fighting gravity and Father Time.
There are times when I look at pictures from 20 or 30 years ago and I wonder who that person is......how did I get from there to here? I always thought of myself as overweight but now I would give my eye teeth to be the person in those pictures. I can never be that person again but I can be better than I am now.....and that is what I have to shoot for.....
My rings are looser on my fingers....most days. I have been able to wear a ring recently that I haven't worn in a few years.
I was able to buy flip flops in a smaller size......does that matter???My shoes size width is still wide (what a surprise).
Sometimes I wear more fitted tops. A major break through for me.
But as I do lose some weight....there is ugly sagging skin that I have to look at. I can now see my feet..... but in my slacks there is that ugly saggy skin......not a very pretty sight. I can only expect that to get worse as I continue to lose. I will have to find exercise to tighten that up. But at my age.....I am fighting gravity and Father Time.
There are times when I look at pictures from 20 or 30 years ago and I wonder who that person is......how did I get from there to here? I always thought of myself as overweight but now I would give my eye teeth to be the person in those pictures. I can never be that person again but I can be better than I am now.....and that is what I have to shoot for.....
Flip Flops
When I go from here to the next life.....I want to be wearing flip flops!!! I love them!!! When I lived in NY, I would wear them all year round. You would see me walking the dog in a path we had shoveled in the snow wearing flip flops. You would see me out in the rain in flip flops. I wore them before they were fashionable. A woman ahead of my time.....LOL
My favorite sandals are Yellow Boxes. They have great cushioning and come in fun colors and designs. Last year, I bought a pair for my nephews wedding.....they were black with black sequins. Very pretty and went well with my outfit.
I have another pair in Gamecock colors ( for those of you from the north that means they are maroon and black.....the colors of University of South Carolina where the mascot is the Gamecock)....a gift from a friend when I switched jobs last year. They have been worn to death. You can tell by looking at them that I walk on the outsides of my heels......LOL.....they are worn on the back outside of each flip flop.
Me.....Mrs. Procrastinator......usually looks for new flip flops when the season is winding down. Yesterday, Jenn and I went to Belk's. I found a pair to replace the Gamecock colored pair that I need to pitch. Then I made a big mistake.....I kept looking to see what else they had......big mistake....LOL. I found a pair with bronze/copper sequins and a pair with multicolor fuscia sequins. I tried them both on and loved them both. Here we go with the decisions again.
Once I found out they were on sale my decision was easy......I bought all three pairs. Normally, I would have bought one pair and then hoped that the other pairs would have been still around in a few weeks. Not this time.....I felt like I had lost my mind but at least now I have enough pairs to switch off.
You would think these would be easy decisions but for me they are not....why you may ask??? Because I am always thinking of something else I can use the money for or might need the money for.....car repairs, life insurance, Dr. bills.......all very practical. But that has been one of my problems all along....I have almost always yielded on the side of practicality.......
Dependable. reliable and practical......not terrible qualities......but also not always fun. I am trying to change.....very slowly.......not that the slowly part should surprise anyone........
My favorite sandals are Yellow Boxes. They have great cushioning and come in fun colors and designs. Last year, I bought a pair for my nephews wedding.....they were black with black sequins. Very pretty and went well with my outfit.
I have another pair in Gamecock colors ( for those of you from the north that means they are maroon and black.....the colors of University of South Carolina where the mascot is the Gamecock)....a gift from a friend when I switched jobs last year. They have been worn to death. You can tell by looking at them that I walk on the outsides of my heels......LOL.....they are worn on the back outside of each flip flop.
Me.....Mrs. Procrastinator......usually looks for new flip flops when the season is winding down. Yesterday, Jenn and I went to Belk's. I found a pair to replace the Gamecock colored pair that I need to pitch. Then I made a big mistake.....I kept looking to see what else they had......big mistake....LOL. I found a pair with bronze/copper sequins and a pair with multicolor fuscia sequins. I tried them both on and loved them both. Here we go with the decisions again.
Once I found out they were on sale my decision was easy......I bought all three pairs. Normally, I would have bought one pair and then hoped that the other pairs would have been still around in a few weeks. Not this time.....I felt like I had lost my mind but at least now I have enough pairs to switch off.
You would think these would be easy decisions but for me they are not....why you may ask??? Because I am always thinking of something else I can use the money for or might need the money for.....car repairs, life insurance, Dr. bills.......all very practical. But that has been one of my problems all along....I have almost always yielded on the side of practicality.......
Dependable. reliable and practical......not terrible qualities......but also not always fun. I am trying to change.....very slowly.......not that the slowly part should surprise anyone........
Divine Intervention
I tend to pray over things......should I do this or should I do that....should I buy this or should I not.....the people who know me the longest know that I tend to sit on a fence and struggle to make some decisions. I usually will do what is best with a nudge from a friend or family member.
Last week, I wrote about finding a water pedometer online. I was also looking for a way to play music while I jogged in the pool. Well, I look at what I could find and I looked again. then I decided not to spend the money and then looked again.
Yesterday, Jenn suggested I look at the Speedo website and see if they had anything there. Doesn't it figure that they had just what I wanted. All in one compact little container. It was a lap counter, pedometer, it plays music that I can download from my Itunes and of course.....it is waterproof. Perfect!!! And I wouldn't have to wear a pedometer and something to play music......it's all in one unit. OK.....it was a little more than I planned on spending. So here is where I started to justify.....one unit instead of two......Speedo has a great rep with things for the water.....by the time I ordered the two other items and paid shipping for them it wasn't much more to get the better item from Speedo (and Speedo would ship it free)......the reviews from the customers who had purchased the pedometer with music loved it. But still I wavered.......I decided I would wait a few days and think it over. OK the item I wanted was not that outrageous that I should have been making myself crazy.....but I am so used to struggling when it comes to spending money on me....especially for something that might be considered frivolous......
This morning I went to the gym and jogged in the pool. There were 11 yes 11 kids in the pool. I tried to get in a zone and block them out. I got hit with one real big splash. I yelled "Damn". They apologized and moved to the other end of the pool. It was not easy especially when there were adults teaching kids to do back flips off the side of the pool into 4 and 5 feet of water.....ugh.....
I took that as a sign that I should purchase the damn Speedo pedometer. I ordered it this afternoon and hope to have it before next week-end.
PS
I talked to the manager at the gym again......I told him the pool with all those kids is an accident waiting to happen. I told him about the fool teaching kids to dive from the side of the pool into 4 feet of water and showing them to do back flips off the side of the pool. What an ass.....
I told the manager this is not the family swim club and they would never let the kids on the gym floors with the machines...... why is the pool any different???
Last week, I wrote about finding a water pedometer online. I was also looking for a way to play music while I jogged in the pool. Well, I look at what I could find and I looked again. then I decided not to spend the money and then looked again.
Yesterday, Jenn suggested I look at the Speedo website and see if they had anything there. Doesn't it figure that they had just what I wanted. All in one compact little container. It was a lap counter, pedometer, it plays music that I can download from my Itunes and of course.....it is waterproof. Perfect!!! And I wouldn't have to wear a pedometer and something to play music......it's all in one unit. OK.....it was a little more than I planned on spending. So here is where I started to justify.....one unit instead of two......Speedo has a great rep with things for the water.....by the time I ordered the two other items and paid shipping for them it wasn't much more to get the better item from Speedo (and Speedo would ship it free)......the reviews from the customers who had purchased the pedometer with music loved it. But still I wavered.......I decided I would wait a few days and think it over. OK the item I wanted was not that outrageous that I should have been making myself crazy.....but I am so used to struggling when it comes to spending money on me....especially for something that might be considered frivolous......
This morning I went to the gym and jogged in the pool. There were 11 yes 11 kids in the pool. I tried to get in a zone and block them out. I got hit with one real big splash. I yelled "Damn". They apologized and moved to the other end of the pool. It was not easy especially when there were adults teaching kids to do back flips off the side of the pool into 4 and 5 feet of water.....ugh.....
I took that as a sign that I should purchase the damn Speedo pedometer. I ordered it this afternoon and hope to have it before next week-end.
PS
I talked to the manager at the gym again......I told him the pool with all those kids is an accident waiting to happen. I told him about the fool teaching kids to dive from the side of the pool into 4 feet of water and showing them to do back flips off the side of the pool. What an ass.....
I told the manager this is not the family swim club and they would never let the kids on the gym floors with the machines...... why is the pool any different???
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Mom's Legacy and Dad's too.....
Here we are.....the legacy of George and Irene Raboni.....
George and Irene:
Dad and Mom
the children:
Greg, Cheryl, Donna and George Jr.
the grandchildren:
Top row: Anthony, Greg Jr., Jill, Jenn, Wes, George III
Bottom row: Danny, Nick, Michael and Chris
the great grandchildren:
Victoria
Elouise
so far Mom and Dad have 2 great grandaughter's Victoria and Elouise. Next Thursday, little Pepperoni Raboni, will join the clan as the third Great Grandaughter.
Not a bad legacy....... a part of them will always be here with us.
George and Irene:
the children:
the grandchildren:
Bottom row: Danny, Nick, Michael and Chris
the great grandchildren:
so far Mom and Dad have 2 great grandaughter's Victoria and Elouise. Next Thursday, little Pepperoni Raboni, will join the clan as the third Great Grandaughter.
Not a bad legacy....... a part of them will always be here with us.
What I Said About Mom At Her Memorial
I always thought of myself as my Father's daughter. The way I saw it Greg and I were Dad's and George and Cheryl were Mom's. Kind of silly isn't it?
Once he was gone, I got to know my Mom. Especially, when I became a Mom myself. I realized how smart she was. She was my mentor. She taught me how to be a Mom.
In these last few years, we talked everyday, sometimes more than once a day. My drive time home from work was our time to visit.
I still pick up the phone to call her or I will think to myself- I need to call Mom and tell her about something that happened.
We would talk about everything- from her grandchildren and greatgrandchildren that she adored to sports. She loved watching her grandchildren's college play football, basketball and baseball.
She would always say "Have you talked to anyone?" Which meant had I talked to anyone in the family. It meant a lot to her that the family kept in touch.
One of the last messages I had from her on my answering machine was on Christmas Day. Her message was simple..."Did you see those Giants!!!"
She tease me about not being able to hem pants. I saved them for her visits.
She would laugh when Jenn would grab the phone from me and say "Nannie, let's talk about me."
We became friends, Mom and I. She was my rock these last few years and I miss her more than I ever thought I would.
Then I read the following:
I stood watching as the little ship sailed out to sea.
The setting sun tinted in its white sails with the golden light as it disappeared from view.
A voice at my side whispered "She is gone"
But the sea was a narrow one and on a further shore a little band of friends had gathered to watch in happy expectation.
Suddenly, they caught sight of the tiny sail and at the very moment when my companions had whispered "She is gone".....a glad shout went up in joyous welcome with the words...."Yeah!! Here she comes!!!!!"
Once he was gone, I got to know my Mom. Especially, when I became a Mom myself. I realized how smart she was. She was my mentor. She taught me how to be a Mom.
In these last few years, we talked everyday, sometimes more than once a day. My drive time home from work was our time to visit.
I still pick up the phone to call her or I will think to myself- I need to call Mom and tell her about something that happened.
We would talk about everything- from her grandchildren and greatgrandchildren that she adored to sports. She loved watching her grandchildren's college play football, basketball and baseball.
She would always say "Have you talked to anyone?" Which meant had I talked to anyone in the family. It meant a lot to her that the family kept in touch.
One of the last messages I had from her on my answering machine was on Christmas Day. Her message was simple..."Did you see those Giants!!!"
She tease me about not being able to hem pants. I saved them for her visits.
She would laugh when Jenn would grab the phone from me and say "Nannie, let's talk about me."
We became friends, Mom and I. She was my rock these last few years and I miss her more than I ever thought I would.
Then I read the following:
I stood watching as the little ship sailed out to sea.
The setting sun tinted in its white sails with the golden light as it disappeared from view.
A voice at my side whispered "She is gone"
But the sea was a narrow one and on a further shore a little band of friends had gathered to watch in happy expectation.
Suddenly, they caught sight of the tiny sail and at the very moment when my companions had whispered "She is gone".....a glad shout went up in joyous welcome with the words...."Yeah!! Here she comes!!!!!"
I Love to Laugh
This week, I have had several occasions to laugh.....I mean really laugh. Most times they were private jokes between friends that only the friends would understand. Or it was a shared memory with a family member. I feel so good after real hard laugh. My eyeliner runs and I hold my side in pain because I cannot stop. I will think about something funny and start laughing all over again.
This week I laughed about dancing, current phrases, those books, a SNL skit, carrying messages between friends, tv shows and sharing experiences with co-workers. What could be better than that? I have to spend so much time focused and serious that once in a while it feels great to break loose and just be silly.
I don't act silly easily. I hate drawing attention to myself. OK if vodka is involved it is much easier to get me to act silly and laugh. I have found while I am trying to work on being a glass is half full person.....laughter is part of that mix.
No, I will never be the person with the lampshade on my head at a party but if the comments can have some sarcasm....that is my specialty....nothing mean or malicious but sarcastic...it works for me.
I also think I can burn a few extra calories by laughing more often......and that works for me too!!!
This week I laughed about dancing, current phrases, those books, a SNL skit, carrying messages between friends, tv shows and sharing experiences with co-workers. What could be better than that? I have to spend so much time focused and serious that once in a while it feels great to break loose and just be silly.
I don't act silly easily. I hate drawing attention to myself. OK if vodka is involved it is much easier to get me to act silly and laugh. I have found while I am trying to work on being a glass is half full person.....laughter is part of that mix.
No, I will never be the person with the lampshade on my head at a party but if the comments can have some sarcasm....that is my specialty....nothing mean or malicious but sarcastic...it works for me.
I also think I can burn a few extra calories by laughing more often......and that works for me too!!!
I Found A Waterproof Stopwatch
You can find just about anything you want on the internet. I just plugged in the words Water Proof Pedometer and poof ....there was a list of places I could order from. I am very excited about ordering one. Now I can really track how far I am running/jogging in the pool each week. I think I am running about 3 miles each time I am in the pool.....I will be curious to see if I am right. If I am doing the 5K I think I am, I can start to work on my 10K. I am hoping to be able to do a half marathon by the end of the year. That is my new goal. I am also trying to find an inexpensive form of music I can listen to while I run.....any suggestions??
I will be able to track time, distance and calorie burn. When I think I am ready for the 10K or half marathon I will let you know. I may ask friends to stop by periodically to check on me and encourage me. I am thinking I will have to be in the pool several hours. I might need a cheering section to keep me motivated.
Once I get the pedometer I will let you know how close I have been on my "guesstimates" regarding how far I am running/jogging. I sure hope I am right!!! Not that it really matters.....I have to keep thinking what it would be like if I hadn't started to workout at all.....
I will be able to track time, distance and calorie burn. When I think I am ready for the 10K or half marathon I will let you know. I may ask friends to stop by periodically to check on me and encourage me. I am thinking I will have to be in the pool several hours. I might need a cheering section to keep me motivated.
Once I get the pedometer I will let you know how close I have been on my "guesstimates" regarding how far I am running/jogging. I sure hope I am right!!! Not that it really matters.....I have to keep thinking what it would be like if I hadn't started to workout at all.....
I Need Suggestions For Foods Low in Carb's and Sugar
As I work on this quest to get carb's and sugars out of my diet I need help. If I don't get creative I will get bored. Yesterday for lunch I had cottage cheese and cucumbers with some blue cheese and salad spray. It was good but not terribly exciting everyday. I have made tuna with a little mayo (we do need some fats in our diets) but then not bread or crackers. I have brought lettuce to make a tuna wrap. When I get home late from work.....who feels like cooking so it's a quick PB&J on lite bread. I have been working on tracking my points. But WW does allow more carb's than I think I should have and also they allow more fruit then I think I should have if I am watching the sugars. So much to learn.......
I need to figure out what is the right amount of sugar, carb's and sodium for me to have each day so I can get on track. I keep reading articles about people walking and losing weight. I hate walking, my knee hurts and I find it easier to work in the pool. Is that so bad? Now every day at 11:00, I take a 15 minute stroll around the office just to get my butt out of my chair for a few minutes.
OK back to the carb's and sugar......I am open to suggestions,,,,,please e-mail me with any idea on a great easy meal that you think I should try. I don't want to get bored, I do want to give up the white stuff, I do want to figure out what works for me.
I want, I want, I want.........I need, I need, I need.......I try, I try, I try........I can, I can, I can.
I need to figure out what is the right amount of sugar, carb's and sodium for me to have each day so I can get on track. I keep reading articles about people walking and losing weight. I hate walking, my knee hurts and I find it easier to work in the pool. Is that so bad? Now every day at 11:00, I take a 15 minute stroll around the office just to get my butt out of my chair for a few minutes.
OK back to the carb's and sugar......I am open to suggestions,,,,,please e-mail me with any idea on a great easy meal that you think I should try. I don't want to get bored, I do want to give up the white stuff, I do want to figure out what works for me.
I want, I want, I want.........I need, I need, I need.......I try, I try, I try........I can, I can, I can.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
The Wind Chimes
My friends from Wachovia/Wells Fargo gave me a wonderful gift.
The collection they took up after Mom's passing was for wind chimes that I wanted. The wind chimes have some of Mom's ashes in them. They were hung up on my front porch Tuesday. As soon as they were up they started to ring. They have a beautiful sound to them and each time I hear them I think of Mom. Jenn and I have already commented several times that Nannie is talking to us.
Seeing and hearing the chimes not only makes me think of Mom but also of the kind and generous friends who made it possible for me to have them.
Here is what they look like.......
I can hear them now in the gentle wind outside. With each sound it is as if Mom is saying "Donna, I am here with you!!" It is exactly what I need to hear right now.....
The collection they took up after Mom's passing was for wind chimes that I wanted. The wind chimes have some of Mom's ashes in them. They were hung up on my front porch Tuesday. As soon as they were up they started to ring. They have a beautiful sound to them and each time I hear them I think of Mom. Jenn and I have already commented several times that Nannie is talking to us.
Seeing and hearing the chimes not only makes me think of Mom but also of the kind and generous friends who made it possible for me to have them.
Here is what they look like.......
I can hear them now in the gentle wind outside. With each sound it is as if Mom is saying "Donna, I am here with you!!" It is exactly what I need to hear right now.....
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Turning the Corner......Giving Up Food
I don't know why but I hate throwing out food. If there are leftovers, I will either heat them up, take them for lunch or make them into something else. I once went as far as to make Meatloaf Soup!!! I told my family to think of the chucks of leftover meatloaf as square meatballs. I have to admit that is one meal we have never had again. As hard as I try there are many times when I make just a little too much. Well, I have decided that from now on unless it is something healthy.....I am going to pitch it!! As a child who was a charter member of the Clean Plate Club, throwing out food is very hard for me.
Another thing I am now doing is not eating out of guilt. I know it sounds crazy but I have done this too!! I bought 4 black and white cookies in NY, I brought them home to have as a treat. Well, I guess they don't travel well and definitely don't taste as good after being in the refrigerator. I had one the other night....well half of one. It didn't taste as good as I thought it would. So in a big moment for me....I threw out the half I hadn't eaten and gave Bob the other three.
I used my Weight Watchers on line tracker several days this week. During a Potluck luncheon at work I made a real effort to only eat healthy things, I didn't go near the dessert table which was loaded with goodies that made me drool and my contribution to the luncheon was a bowl of fresh fruit. All steps in the right direction!!!
I am really trying to focus on eating less carb's since it has finally sunk in that they change to sugar (at least I think I have that right). I read today again about fruit and how even the natural sugar from them is not good for me.I think I finally get what I have been told time and time again about foods with the fat removed have more sugar added to improve the taste.
Guess what.....I am starting to understand some of this.......I am once again going to try and switch things up and focus on the carb's, sugar and fat free foods. I am going to eat more proteins, veggies and salads (don't worry they won't be loaded with cheese and dressings that are calorie laden).
I know I have tried some of these things before but I feel like a light bulb has gone on over my head........I really think this is going to help me with my goal to get healthier and lose more weight. Between this new understanding of what different types of foods do to my body and my time working toward my 10K in the pool.......I should see some good progress.........
My heart believes it and my head does too.......there is no way in hell I am giving up........so there!!!!!
Another thing I am now doing is not eating out of guilt. I know it sounds crazy but I have done this too!! I bought 4 black and white cookies in NY, I brought them home to have as a treat. Well, I guess they don't travel well and definitely don't taste as good after being in the refrigerator. I had one the other night....well half of one. It didn't taste as good as I thought it would. So in a big moment for me....I threw out the half I hadn't eaten and gave Bob the other three.
I used my Weight Watchers on line tracker several days this week. During a Potluck luncheon at work I made a real effort to only eat healthy things, I didn't go near the dessert table which was loaded with goodies that made me drool and my contribution to the luncheon was a bowl of fresh fruit. All steps in the right direction!!!
I am really trying to focus on eating less carb's since it has finally sunk in that they change to sugar (at least I think I have that right). I read today again about fruit and how even the natural sugar from them is not good for me.I think I finally get what I have been told time and time again about foods with the fat removed have more sugar added to improve the taste.
Guess what.....I am starting to understand some of this.......I am once again going to try and switch things up and focus on the carb's, sugar and fat free foods. I am going to eat more proteins, veggies and salads (don't worry they won't be loaded with cheese and dressings that are calorie laden).
I know I have tried some of these things before but I feel like a light bulb has gone on over my head........I really think this is going to help me with my goal to get healthier and lose more weight. Between this new understanding of what different types of foods do to my body and my time working toward my 10K in the pool.......I should see some good progress.........
My heart believes it and my head does too.......there is no way in hell I am giving up........so there!!!!!
Family and Friends
Of course I knew who from the family would be at the Memorial Service. Getting out of my brothers car there were some others who I saw that touched my heart.
Two cousins that I hadn't seen in 27 years were waiting for us. It took about 10 minutes to catch up and then it was as if we had never been apart. I realized how much I missed them and our shared history. We have promised not to let so much time go without visiting each other. I plan to stick to that promise.
There was a blacktopped path near my parents graves.....there stood some of the friends of their youth. They had known my Dad since childhood and my Mom since she was 17. To see those friends now in the late 70's and early 80's meant so much to me.
Hugs were shared, laughter and stories of the past were part of the luncheon.
It was like watching old family movies or flipping the pages of an old photo album. As I looked at those that had gathered in memory of Mom, I could picture her at each of those tables......smiling and laughing as only she could.
I am grateful to those who traveled to spend time with us......it reminded me of how many people Mom touched and loved .........and it was a visible reminder of those who loved her.
Two cousins that I hadn't seen in 27 years were waiting for us. It took about 10 minutes to catch up and then it was as if we had never been apart. I realized how much I missed them and our shared history. We have promised not to let so much time go without visiting each other. I plan to stick to that promise.
There was a blacktopped path near my parents graves.....there stood some of the friends of their youth. They had known my Dad since childhood and my Mom since she was 17. To see those friends now in the late 70's and early 80's meant so much to me.
Hugs were shared, laughter and stories of the past were part of the luncheon.
It was like watching old family movies or flipping the pages of an old photo album. As I looked at those that had gathered in memory of Mom, I could picture her at each of those tables......smiling and laughing as only she could.
I am grateful to those who traveled to spend time with us......it reminded me of how many people Mom touched and loved .........and it was a visible reminder of those who loved her.
13 Pizza's
Food, food and more food........isn't that always part of a family reunion?? Friday night it was all about pizza. Yes, we ordered 13 pizza's!!!! We had plain, white, sausage, bacon, pepperoni, sausage and one with anchovies (ugh).
Yes, there were some beverages served too!!
There were bagels, Nathan's hot dogs, slurpee's, garlic knots, dill pickles, King Cone Ice Cream, treats from Rockland Bakery, and on and on and on.......
This doesn't include the lunch at a local Italian Restaurant for over 60 people after Mom's Memorial Service!!!
There were ribs, burgers, beef stroganoff, fried rice, stromboli's, lemon chicken and more.....
It was a three day food fest!!! I actually got to the point where I couldn't think about food anymore....what a shock!!!
Oh and I forgot........some chocolate chip cookies......like Mom used to make.....
Thank goodness we don't get together too often......it was nice to get home to less choices and a place where I feel more in control.
Yes, there were some beverages served too!!
There were bagels, Nathan's hot dogs, slurpee's, garlic knots, dill pickles, King Cone Ice Cream, treats from Rockland Bakery, and on and on and on.......
This doesn't include the lunch at a local Italian Restaurant for over 60 people after Mom's Memorial Service!!!
There were ribs, burgers, beef stroganoff, fried rice, stromboli's, lemon chicken and more.....
It was a three day food fest!!! I actually got to the point where I couldn't think about food anymore....what a shock!!!
Oh and I forgot........some chocolate chip cookies......like Mom used to make.....
Thank goodness we don't get together too often......it was nice to get home to less choices and a place where I feel more in control.
Finally......Saying Goodby To Mom
It was a long wait but last week I finally traveled home with Jenn and Bob to say goodbye to Mom. The last four months I have felt like I was in a holding pattern. I heard the words Mom was gone but I needed to see it for myself. Not that I would get to see her but I would get to see her ashes.
The week before I headed north I was feeling such a mix of emotions. I was looking forward to seeing the family but was sad the person who would have enjoyed the family reunion the most would not be there. I knew in order to have closure I had to say goodbye in my own way.
In what I consider a stroke of genius, Peter, the Funeral Director gave my siblings and me the opportunity to come to the funeral home the morning of the Memorial Service. There was something so right about just the four of us getting to spend some time alone with Mom. When we walked in the room it was finally real. There on a small table was the box with her ashes. It was a beautiful wood box with small carvings on it. There were also three small containers with some of Mom's ashes for my siblings and the wind chimes with some of Mom's ashes for me. As I looked at George, Greg and Cheryl, I knew life was as it should be.....children bury their parents. I was grateful to have that time alone .....just us four.
The cemetery where my parents are buried is high up on a hill that at the top overlooks the Hudson River. My parents are not at the very top but it is still a long winding road up to where they are. As we rounded the last bend at the top of the hill, we were all surprised at the view........there were people all over........for Mom.
The ceremony was very simple. My older brother started with some words about Mom and a reading he selected, I follow with my thoughts and another reading, my sister followed expressing her feelings, some friends from Mom's church spoke about Mom's faith, Jenn read the 23rd Psalm and then there were yellow balloons released to represent each of the grandchildren and greatgrandchildren.
Before, we left my younger brother took the shovel from the Funeral Director and covered Mom's ashes.
Simple, warm and full of love......a service of which Mom would have approved. Some tears, some laughter and surrounded by loved ones......perfect.
The week before I headed north I was feeling such a mix of emotions. I was looking forward to seeing the family but was sad the person who would have enjoyed the family reunion the most would not be there. I knew in order to have closure I had to say goodbye in my own way.
In what I consider a stroke of genius, Peter, the Funeral Director gave my siblings and me the opportunity to come to the funeral home the morning of the Memorial Service. There was something so right about just the four of us getting to spend some time alone with Mom. When we walked in the room it was finally real. There on a small table was the box with her ashes. It was a beautiful wood box with small carvings on it. There were also three small containers with some of Mom's ashes for my siblings and the wind chimes with some of Mom's ashes for me. As I looked at George, Greg and Cheryl, I knew life was as it should be.....children bury their parents. I was grateful to have that time alone .....just us four.
The cemetery where my parents are buried is high up on a hill that at the top overlooks the Hudson River. My parents are not at the very top but it is still a long winding road up to where they are. As we rounded the last bend at the top of the hill, we were all surprised at the view........there were people all over........for Mom.
The ceremony was very simple. My older brother started with some words about Mom and a reading he selected, I follow with my thoughts and another reading, my sister followed expressing her feelings, some friends from Mom's church spoke about Mom's faith, Jenn read the 23rd Psalm and then there were yellow balloons released to represent each of the grandchildren and greatgrandchildren.
Before, we left my younger brother took the shovel from the Funeral Director and covered Mom's ashes.
Simple, warm and full of love......a service of which Mom would have approved. Some tears, some laughter and surrounded by loved ones......perfect.
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