You Really Have To Get To Know The Me Inside

I hate that people have to get past the physical side of people to really get to know them.  Me for example......a perfect body...NOT.......and most people do not care if you are a work in progress.  They look at you and make judgements and decisions.  I wish I was strong enough to say the hell with them but I am not.  We all want to be liked and loved.  We all want to be part of the "in" group (more in High School than now).  We all want to look our best.  Yet, I am sure that most everyone has something they have about themselves that they are hung up about.  The hard part is when the thing you are so unsure of is so visible to others.  When you add criticism to the mix.......it can but so hard to over come.  There are times when I want to pull back from everyone and just lick my wounds.  But who do I hurt most by pulling back.....OK let's say the answer all together.....ME!!!  While I may not make it in the best body department, I do feel like I do pretty well in the heart category.  I don't try to compete, I celebrate others good luck and I appreciate what I have.  I am not saying that there aren't more things I still want but when I feel that little green monster of Envy creeping into my head I try to battle it.  I try to accept my lot in life but do continue to dream. 

I look better on the inside than on the outside. And the bottom line is I wouldn't want to give up the inside for the outside.  The outside is where the world can view my failures.  I wish they could see the inside of me.....my heart.....my compassion......my soul.  The world can be cruel when judging just by looking at the physical.  When I was speaking with one of the senior management last week I told her the hard part of an interview for me is to get the interviewer to get past what I look like and get to know what I have to offer.  It must have worked with the job I have now because I was hired last year after just one interview.  I try to get to know individuals when I am the person doing the interview.  I know how hard it can be to sit on the other side of the desk.

Then you have your friends.....the ones that know you warts and all.  The people you can tell your darkest secrets too.  How many people can you truly open up to........not just about the good stuff (that's easy).......but the things you are too embarrassed for most of the world to know.   I am lucky to have a few friends that know just about everything there is to know about me and they still like me in spite of the dark clouds.  They still encourage me, they listen, they suggest and they accept me as I am.  They understand my desire to improve the outside of me but care about me for what I have to offer inside.

There is so much about which I am not confident but this I know.......not getting to know me.....then you have missed something special.  Kind, caring, compassionate, wicked sense of humor, able to laugh at myself .......hey who wouldn't want a friend like that. 

What was that I just said.....sounded like some self-confidence......well what do you know.....there is hope for me yet.........