I am trying to think of the good things about the week coming up.....uuuhhmm.....ok how about.....
Jeans for the week.....thank you WF Easter Bunny!!!
My front porch railing will be fixed and the new gutters will be installed.
I will get to the gym at least 3 times (the gym was closed today so I lose 1 regular visit),
Pedicure Saturday is coming up.
All the meals for the week have been prepared or are an easy fix.
Hopefully, the week will fly and before I know it Friday will be here again. I will write down what I eat this week, I will drink lots of water, I will make good food choices and I will make sure my workouts are loaded with cardio, cardio, cardio....
I will be as positive as I can be.......the easy part was making the list......that hard part is sticking to it. Think I can?? I will let you know next weekend how I did.....as of right now......I am on it.....get ready world......it is going to be a great week....did I sound convincing??? I hope I did....
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Ghosts of Easter Past
This morning when I woke up.....I thought about Easter's past.
My parents always made great baskets, filled with goodies and wrapped in colorful see through cellophane. The sides were taped closed so little hands could not squeeze through the sides and sneak out some sweets before Mass. The night before eggs were colored and decorated. There was always a hunt for the eggs.....the weather determined whether it was inside or out.
Some years there was a brunch other years we made the trip to Smithtown Long Island to visit relatives. We would pick up my Grandmother in the Bronx on the way. The cousins would play outside. Or the adults would tell us kids to go in the rec room and make up a show that they would come and watch later. We would rehearse and rehearse and finally convince the adults to come downstairs to watch our extravaganza. It included skits, songs and dancing.....we were a very creative group. Of course there was the adult table and the kids table. The hard part was the long trip back home. When we got to my grandmother's apartment building Mom or Dad would get out with her and see her safely to her apartment and then we would continue the journey home.
While everyone else fell asleep.....I felt a need to stay awake and talk to my Dad. I was convinced he was tired and needed my constant conversation to keep him from falling asleep. When in reality, he probably wished I would just fall asleep!!! I would lean forward and pat him on the shoulder.....he was a good sport and would keep the conversation going. I don't know why I was worried that poor Dad would fall asleep....
As a Mom, I have colored the eggs, put a basket together with the sides sealed with scotch tape and participated in hiding the Easter eggs. I was lucky enough for many years to have all of my family within 10 minutes of where I lived. Now, I wish I could spend a Sunday having brunch with them......
I wouldn't even mind making the trip to Smithtown to spend Easter with the relatives.....as long on the ride home I could talk to Dad and made sure he stayed awake.....
My parents always made great baskets, filled with goodies and wrapped in colorful see through cellophane. The sides were taped closed so little hands could not squeeze through the sides and sneak out some sweets before Mass. The night before eggs were colored and decorated. There was always a hunt for the eggs.....the weather determined whether it was inside or out.
Some years there was a brunch other years we made the trip to Smithtown Long Island to visit relatives. We would pick up my Grandmother in the Bronx on the way. The cousins would play outside. Or the adults would tell us kids to go in the rec room and make up a show that they would come and watch later. We would rehearse and rehearse and finally convince the adults to come downstairs to watch our extravaganza. It included skits, songs and dancing.....we were a very creative group. Of course there was the adult table and the kids table. The hard part was the long trip back home. When we got to my grandmother's apartment building Mom or Dad would get out with her and see her safely to her apartment and then we would continue the journey home.
While everyone else fell asleep.....I felt a need to stay awake and talk to my Dad. I was convinced he was tired and needed my constant conversation to keep him from falling asleep. When in reality, he probably wished I would just fall asleep!!! I would lean forward and pat him on the shoulder.....he was a good sport and would keep the conversation going. I don't know why I was worried that poor Dad would fall asleep....
As a Mom, I have colored the eggs, put a basket together with the sides sealed with scotch tape and participated in hiding the Easter eggs. I was lucky enough for many years to have all of my family within 10 minutes of where I lived. Now, I wish I could spend a Sunday having brunch with them......
I wouldn't even mind making the trip to Smithtown to spend Easter with the relatives.....as long on the ride home I could talk to Dad and made sure he stayed awake.....
Who Says Saturday Is For Relaxing??
Saturday is supposed to be to relax and recharge your batteries. This past Saturday that was not the case. Here is the list of places I hit....Weight Watchers, JoAnn's, the gym, Fresh Market, Sams for gas, Lowes, Arby's (not for me), Books A Million, Rite Aid, Publix, back to Lowes and oh the ATM....not a surprise having to stop there after seeing the list above.
The non-stop day.....
I got a lot accomplished....
Trying to make it so Sunday is a free day.....
Besides going to the gym....there was a lot of walking in each store. No wonder I was tired by nightfall. I wish I worked a 4 day workweek.....four 10 hour days would be heaven. Then I would have that extra day to get things done and not feel like I am in a race against time.
The up side is I have a lot more stamina than I did a year ago...... I walk further and park further away from the stores.....I keep moving.....and I feel good about that!!!!
The non-stop day.....
I got a lot accomplished....
Trying to make it so Sunday is a free day.....
Besides going to the gym....there was a lot of walking in each store. No wonder I was tired by nightfall. I wish I worked a 4 day workweek.....four 10 hour days would be heaven. Then I would have that extra day to get things done and not feel like I am in a race against time.
The up side is I have a lot more stamina than I did a year ago...... I walk further and park further away from the stores.....I keep moving.....and I feel good about that!!!!
Are You Capable of Saying I'm Sorry
Why do people back themselves into a corner? Why do people have to be negative? Why do people feel it is OK to constantly let out their frustrations on others? Why do I continue to take it? What is wrong with me????
Why do people feel they can be mean to you one day and then the next day act as if they had done nothing wrong? Why am I not allowed to be happy with what I have accomplished? Why am I not allowed to do what I want and not be made to feel guilty about it? Why is it that my conscience forces me to put up with crap from someone else? Why do I allow myself to be the whipping boy or girl as the case might be for someone angry at the way their own life has turned out?
Am I not allowed happiness? Must I always pretend that everything is fine? When am I allowed to do what I want, when I want and not have to pay for it later?
Are apologies never required? To say I'm Sorry....2 lousy words....
Am I not entitled to be happy......does the fact that someone else made poor choices mean I must always have to take their carrying on and frustrations......
How about taking responsibility for their own situation?? Did I make the decisions for them?
I don't think they even care about what it is doing to me......it can be draining, exhausting, stressful and makes me have to fight being depressed over how the hell I ended up like this......I am fortunate that the people who know what I am talking about have not gotten fed up with me and moved on......instead they hang in there with me.....I am so grateful for that......oh if I had my life to live over again knowing what I do now.......the path would be very different.....
Why do people feel they can be mean to you one day and then the next day act as if they had done nothing wrong? Why am I not allowed to be happy with what I have accomplished? Why am I not allowed to do what I want and not be made to feel guilty about it? Why is it that my conscience forces me to put up with crap from someone else? Why do I allow myself to be the whipping boy or girl as the case might be for someone angry at the way their own life has turned out?
Am I not allowed happiness? Must I always pretend that everything is fine? When am I allowed to do what I want, when I want and not have to pay for it later?
Are apologies never required? To say I'm Sorry....2 lousy words....
Am I not entitled to be happy......does the fact that someone else made poor choices mean I must always have to take their carrying on and frustrations......
How about taking responsibility for their own situation?? Did I make the decisions for them?
I don't think they even care about what it is doing to me......it can be draining, exhausting, stressful and makes me have to fight being depressed over how the hell I ended up like this......I am fortunate that the people who know what I am talking about have not gotten fed up with me and moved on......instead they hang in there with me.....I am so grateful for that......oh if I had my life to live over again knowing what I do now.......the path would be very different.....
The Advantage of an Afternoon Workout
I was able to go to the gym Friday at 2:00. This was a real treat!! It wasn't crowded and it was my third time at the gym in 4 days. Jenn went to workout upstairs and I went to the pool. There was someone swimming laps and me in my own section doing my water aerobics. I was in the pool about 30 minutes when the lap swimmer got out of the pool and got in the jacuzzi. I kept exercising. The gentleman who had been swimming laps asked me about my workout and how often I worked out in the pool. I asked him if he swam for time or distance. We talked for about 15 minutes. He was about 35, very handsome, well built and had a very cool tattoo. He was fun to talk to and was a great distraction while I continue to exercise.
Hhhhmmm....maybe I should go to the gym more often on Friday afternoons.....hey I may be old but I am not dead and anyone who reads this and does not admit they have noticed when an individual is attractive.....is lying or not human.....
OK then the reality check......I am old enough to be his very young Mother.....in my mind I might feel 25 but it is clear my body is much older!!!! LOL....I am a mess!!!
And the final blow was when my pool buddy left.....he M'am'd me...he said "It was nice talking to you and have a good afternoon M'am.....LMAO!!! It was as if someone smacked me in the head......LOL.....I think it was Father Time!!!!
Hhhhmmm....maybe I should go to the gym more often on Friday afternoons.....hey I may be old but I am not dead and anyone who reads this and does not admit they have noticed when an individual is attractive.....is lying or not human.....
OK then the reality check......I am old enough to be his very young Mother.....in my mind I might feel 25 but it is clear my body is much older!!!! LOL....I am a mess!!!
And the final blow was when my pool buddy left.....he M'am'd me...he said "It was nice talking to you and have a good afternoon M'am.....LMAO!!! It was as if someone smacked me in the head......LOL.....I think it was Father Time!!!!
Oprah Top Chapter 3
I went to JoAnn's Friday afternoon. OK compared to Hobby Lobby there was a plethora of choices. It was almost overwhelming. I loaded my cart with a variety of selections. Silks, sheers, bold, bright and on and on.... I wandered the aisles trying to figure out what would look best on me. My self-image is not always the best. I see something I like and think I can wear that....then I put it on and uuuugghhh. I hope I haven't built myself up for a big letdown. I am keeping my fingers crossed that when the top is complete and I put it on.....it is as fabulous as I have pictured in my head a hundred times.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that the vision of me I have in my head does not match the image that looks back at me from the mirror. Weight Watchers tells you to see yourself as you want to be......
But when it comes to clothes.....I need to see myself as I am.....right now....not the way I will look in a year or two.
Any I going to look like a moving tent? Am I going to look like the person trying to cover her flaws with some draped material? Am I going to look elegant? Or will I look foolish?
Keep your fingers crossed that what I see in my head becomes reality. I guess the good thing is I can envision myself further down the road.......it just the me that exists now....on that I may need a reality check.....
Maybe it has to do with the fact that the vision of me I have in my head does not match the image that looks back at me from the mirror. Weight Watchers tells you to see yourself as you want to be......
But when it comes to clothes.....I need to see myself as I am.....right now....not the way I will look in a year or two.
Any I going to look like a moving tent? Am I going to look like the person trying to cover her flaws with some draped material? Am I going to look elegant? Or will I look foolish?
Keep your fingers crossed that what I see in my head becomes reality. I guess the good thing is I can envision myself further down the road.......it just the me that exists now....on that I may need a reality check.....
Taking A Half Day Off
Friday, I took a half day of PTO (paid time off). I was out of the office by 12. It is funny how just a few hours out of the office can rejuvenate you. It almost feels like cutting school. To be off from work while most of the world is still at their desks is delightful. To be able to say "what do I want to do?" and not have the restriction of running to do things after work. Jenn picked me up to make sure I didn't delay my exit....LOL!! She has no faith in me.....
Those few hours made the week-end even longer.....just a few hours and it was almost like having a 3 day week-end.
The only hard part is rushing to get done what is needed prior to leaving the office. Plus I had to fit into the schedule coloring Easter Eggs with the team and a office wide Easter Egg Hunt. I won a weeks pass for jeans and sneakers!!!
So couple a few hours of freedom, jeans for a week and I feel great!!! Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket.....I feel like I am on a roll!!!!
Those few hours made the week-end even longer.....just a few hours and it was almost like having a 3 day week-end.
The only hard part is rushing to get done what is needed prior to leaving the office. Plus I had to fit into the schedule coloring Easter Eggs with the team and a office wide Easter Egg Hunt. I won a weeks pass for jeans and sneakers!!!
So couple a few hours of freedom, jeans for a week and I feel great!!! Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket.....I feel like I am on a roll!!!!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
It's Choice Not Chance That Determines Your Destiny
I love that title....don't you??
I choose to continue on this health driven journey. I chose not to eat certain foods...not that I will never eat them again but for now I am choosing to skip them. I choose to go to the gym and workout. I choose to park further from the building or store and walk further. I chose to drink as much water as I can stand. I choose to stay positive and not let negative forces get to me. I choose to continue to dream. I choose to continue to laugh. I choose to embrace life at every turn.
I can hope my destiny is a long life, healthy, happy and filled with love and laughter.
The choices I make today ensure the destiny I have chosen will happen. Yes, will happen not might happen.
The best choice I can make is to have faith and believe. It is not all in my control.......I believe someone greater than me will give me the tools I need to be successful. Those tools are drive,determination and perseverance.
Bottom line is I choose me......
I choose to continue on this health driven journey. I chose not to eat certain foods...not that I will never eat them again but for now I am choosing to skip them. I choose to go to the gym and workout. I choose to park further from the building or store and walk further. I chose to drink as much water as I can stand. I choose to stay positive and not let negative forces get to me. I choose to continue to dream. I choose to continue to laugh. I choose to embrace life at every turn.
I can hope my destiny is a long life, healthy, happy and filled with love and laughter.
The choices I make today ensure the destiny I have chosen will happen. Yes, will happen not might happen.
The best choice I can make is to have faith and believe. It is not all in my control.......I believe someone greater than me will give me the tools I need to be successful. Those tools are drive,determination and perseverance.
Bottom line is I choose me......
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Really.....Sideways Jumping Jacks????
My trainer, Carol, likes to switch things up to get my cardio rate up. This week we used the stepper ....up a level and I had to use weights and alternate arms lifting the weights while climbing the stepper. Then she wanted me to do side ways Jumping Jacks. As she demonsrated them to me, she stayed in place and kept putting one foot in front of the other at the end.
Me attempting this would have made a great comic video. I kept moving forward.....not staying in place. I would move my legs out and forget to move my arms or I would move my arms after I had my legs back in place. Either way I looked foolish and proved I have no coordination!!!! I continued to try and did several reps of them but they were sure not pretty. I was counting out loud, trying to remember to swing my arms and move out my legs out all at the same time. I can trip while just walking so this was a challenge.
Carol, told me I had done a good job at the end of the session, I hadn't stopped the whole time. She said it was good cardio, cardio, cardio.
This "jacks" thing reminded me of a time I went to the roller rink with Jenn's girl scout troop. I hadn't been on roller skates in many, many years. It took a few trips around the rink before my brain and body got in sync. Finally, my brain said "oh she wants to roller skate!!". The I was able to go around the rink with a little more conviction.
I think when I was "trying" to do the "jacks".....my brain was saying " Are you out of your $%^*^^*$* mind?" My brain continued on to think "is she on drugs, does she want another broken arm, oh this is crazy.....let's see how she reacts when we don't move our arms the same time as out feet".....
So ugly it may have been this time.....I will continue to try and do them.....and I know I will get better.
Can wait to see what happens when I try to jump rope....yikes.
Me attempting this would have made a great comic video. I kept moving forward.....not staying in place. I would move my legs out and forget to move my arms or I would move my arms after I had my legs back in place. Either way I looked foolish and proved I have no coordination!!!! I continued to try and did several reps of them but they were sure not pretty. I was counting out loud, trying to remember to swing my arms and move out my legs out all at the same time. I can trip while just walking so this was a challenge.
Carol, told me I had done a good job at the end of the session, I hadn't stopped the whole time. She said it was good cardio, cardio, cardio.
This "jacks" thing reminded me of a time I went to the roller rink with Jenn's girl scout troop. I hadn't been on roller skates in many, many years. It took a few trips around the rink before my brain and body got in sync. Finally, my brain said "oh she wants to roller skate!!". The I was able to go around the rink with a little more conviction.
I think when I was "trying" to do the "jacks".....my brain was saying " Are you out of your $%^*^^*$* mind?" My brain continued on to think "is she on drugs, does she want another broken arm, oh this is crazy.....let's see how she reacts when we don't move our arms the same time as out feet".....
So ugly it may have been this time.....I will continue to try and do them.....and I know I will get better.
Can wait to see what happens when I try to jump rope....yikes.
The Caftan......Part II....
I went in search for material for my Oprah top.
I went to Hobby Lobby to check out the materials. I found some that I liked.....in solid colors. The colors were vibrant red, pink and white with some little embellishments. I also chose a rainbow print and a black with multi-color sequins. Oprah's top was white with a variety of other colors swirling around. I chose some embellishments in case I went with one of the solid colored pieces. I asked for samples but the lady in that dept said I would have to by 1/8 of a yard of each since they do not just give out samples. At approximately, 62 cents for piece, I felt like I could well afford the $5 it might set me back in order to have the pieces to pray over. By the time she was done cutting the material, I had told her what I was using it for and about Oprah's top. When she was finished cutting, I asked for the sales slip. The sales lady said never mind just take it. That was a nice surprise.....
At lunch, we looked at each piece of material. They draped them around my neck. The group voted for the black sequins look. On Friday, I will go to Joann's and see if there are any other patterns that I like.
Oh and Kathy told me I need to come by so she can measure me......red alert, red alert....panic mode!!! I asked what she had to measure???? She said from where we want the top to hang in the front to where we want it to hang in the back to make sure it covers all of my "assets".....and that can be a lot to cover!!! LOL
I promise when this outfit is complete, I will post a picture of me on this blog for all to see. A photo of me......I am stressing already.....
I went to Hobby Lobby to check out the materials. I found some that I liked.....in solid colors. The colors were vibrant red, pink and white with some little embellishments. I also chose a rainbow print and a black with multi-color sequins. Oprah's top was white with a variety of other colors swirling around. I chose some embellishments in case I went with one of the solid colored pieces. I asked for samples but the lady in that dept said I would have to by 1/8 of a yard of each since they do not just give out samples. At approximately, 62 cents for piece, I felt like I could well afford the $5 it might set me back in order to have the pieces to pray over. By the time she was done cutting the material, I had told her what I was using it for and about Oprah's top. When she was finished cutting, I asked for the sales slip. The sales lady said never mind just take it. That was a nice surprise.....
At lunch, we looked at each piece of material. They draped them around my neck. The group voted for the black sequins look. On Friday, I will go to Joann's and see if there are any other patterns that I like.
Oh and Kathy told me I need to come by so she can measure me......red alert, red alert....panic mode!!! I asked what she had to measure???? She said from where we want the top to hang in the front to where we want it to hang in the back to make sure it covers all of my "assets".....and that can be a lot to cover!!! LOL
I promise when this outfit is complete, I will post a picture of me on this blog for all to see. A photo of me......I am stressing already.....
I Don't Need It To Be Easy Just Possible...
I read the title of this blog entry on a website yesterday. I can't remember the name of the website.....how sad is that.....in less than one day I have forgotten it!! I do like the title. I knew this journey would not be easy but some days the possible part becomes impossible in my head. That is when I need to fight back. Yesterday morning I was in a funk.....feeling like I am in one of those forever pools.....swimming but not getting anywhere.
I met my friends, Kathy, Debbie and Debra for lunch. The lunch was a shot in the arm I needed. It is great to just sit and talk about anything and everything. When we first met yesterday, we decided to change our lunch spot. We ended up at another place around the corner. The old Donna, would have gotten in the car and moved it closer to the new location. Instead, I walked to the new location and at a good clip I might add. Even my friends commented on my speed. What they don't know is that when we chose the new location, I had to stop and think for a minute......can I walk there and be OK? Now mind you this was not a long walk .......going from one side of a strip mall to another but when you have gotten out of breath over much shorter distances you stop and think about these things. I was pleased with myself that I felt good and there were no issues over the short walk.
Those are the kinds of things that fly around in my head. Fear can be crippling. Right now I feel like I am learning to walk again... physically, mentally and emotionally.
So as the saying goes.....I never said it had to be easy but I need to believe it is possible. And yesterday, that short walk showed me I can do it. I need to get comfortable with not hesitating before doing. And I will.....
Just put one foot in front of the other.......over and over again......
I met my friends, Kathy, Debbie and Debra for lunch. The lunch was a shot in the arm I needed. It is great to just sit and talk about anything and everything. When we first met yesterday, we decided to change our lunch spot. We ended up at another place around the corner. The old Donna, would have gotten in the car and moved it closer to the new location. Instead, I walked to the new location and at a good clip I might add. Even my friends commented on my speed. What they don't know is that when we chose the new location, I had to stop and think for a minute......can I walk there and be OK? Now mind you this was not a long walk .......going from one side of a strip mall to another but when you have gotten out of breath over much shorter distances you stop and think about these things. I was pleased with myself that I felt good and there were no issues over the short walk.
Those are the kinds of things that fly around in my head. Fear can be crippling. Right now I feel like I am learning to walk again... physically, mentally and emotionally.
So as the saying goes.....I never said it had to be easy but I need to believe it is possible. And yesterday, that short walk showed me I can do it. I need to get comfortable with not hesitating before doing. And I will.....
Just put one foot in front of the other.......over and over again......
In Search of Oprah's Caftan
When Oprah visited Australia she wore a beautiful kaftan or is it caftan?? The color were bright and bold, the top flowed as she walked. I wanted that top to wear for my nephews wedding in June. I spent hours looking on line for that top with no success. I told my friend Mary about my search. To my embarrassment, Mary got on the computer and found the top in less than 5 minutes!!! The problem.....it cost $500!!!! Not exactly in my budget. So I started searching other web sites.......nothing moved me like that top did.
I know I am not going to this wedding with as big a weight loss as I had hoped. So at least I can wear something that makes me feel good......
What to do, what to do......
I emailed my friend Kathy. Kathy can take a paper bag and make it into an evening gown. The first e-mail I sent her the picture didn't show up (are we seeing a pattern with my computer skills???). The second attempt was successful......Kathy got the picture. I asked if she thought it could be made......she said WE can make it....the only thing worse than my computer skills is my sewing skills....LOL. Today we are going to look for the material for the top. I already have black pants and a black tank top to go underneath the Oprah top. Kathy said she thinks it will only take about 2 hours to make.....and we will be leaving off the crystals that shine on Oprah's top and use some other embellishments.
I had said in an earlier post that I wanted to branch out and wear brighter colors and prints......so here is my chance.
The last time I wanted to do something based on a picture was when I went to see Wayne. Wayne is the man whose advice I take regarding my hair. He pointed me in the right direction on highlights vs. dying my hair all one color (the scalp doesn't stand out as much with highlights). He suggested the curling iron which makes it look like I have more hair than I do. So when it comes to my hair.....Wayne is the man. Back to my original point.....during one of my first meetings with Wayne, I brought a picture of Merill Streep from "The Devil Wears Prada". I loved her hair in that movie. I asked Wayne if my hair could be cut to look like that? Wayne looked at the picture and said "Honey, that is a great wig." That meant no....LOL.
The point being sometimes I see something and assume it can work for me......and maybe it can't. But I have to try right?????
I am..... with Kathy's guidance....oh be honest Donna......with Kathy at the sewing machine we will see how this turns out......minus the same print, minus the crystals, plus the fact that Oprah and I do not have the same build.....
Keep your fingers crossed that this works out......other wise I will be easy to pick out in the wedding photo's.......I will be the one in the burlap bag.....
I know I am not going to this wedding with as big a weight loss as I had hoped. So at least I can wear something that makes me feel good......
What to do, what to do......
I emailed my friend Kathy. Kathy can take a paper bag and make it into an evening gown. The first e-mail I sent her the picture didn't show up (are we seeing a pattern with my computer skills???). The second attempt was successful......Kathy got the picture. I asked if she thought it could be made......she said WE can make it....the only thing worse than my computer skills is my sewing skills....LOL. Today we are going to look for the material for the top. I already have black pants and a black tank top to go underneath the Oprah top. Kathy said she thinks it will only take about 2 hours to make.....and we will be leaving off the crystals that shine on Oprah's top and use some other embellishments.
I had said in an earlier post that I wanted to branch out and wear brighter colors and prints......so here is my chance.
The last time I wanted to do something based on a picture was when I went to see Wayne. Wayne is the man whose advice I take regarding my hair. He pointed me in the right direction on highlights vs. dying my hair all one color (the scalp doesn't stand out as much with highlights). He suggested the curling iron which makes it look like I have more hair than I do. So when it comes to my hair.....Wayne is the man. Back to my original point.....during one of my first meetings with Wayne, I brought a picture of Merill Streep from "The Devil Wears Prada". I loved her hair in that movie. I asked Wayne if my hair could be cut to look like that? Wayne looked at the picture and said "Honey, that is a great wig." That meant no....LOL.
The point being sometimes I see something and assume it can work for me......and maybe it can't. But I have to try right?????
I am..... with Kathy's guidance....oh be honest Donna......with Kathy at the sewing machine we will see how this turns out......minus the same print, minus the crystals, plus the fact that Oprah and I do not have the same build.....
Keep your fingers crossed that this works out......other wise I will be easy to pick out in the wedding photo's.......I will be the one in the burlap bag.....
The Longest Plateau in History
I overslept this morning so I missed by Weight Watchers meeting. I weighed myself 8 times on the bathroom scale and the range was between down 1 pound to up 1 pound. OK weighing myself 8 times is excessive......I was looking for consistency......each turn of the scale.....yes I turned the scale to see if any number was accurate.....
Bottom line is the numbers are moving in slow motion and I am getting so tired of it!!!! Today..... I feel like a big blob of fat. I know I can't give up and I won't but I am just at a point where I don't know where to turn.
My workouts at the gym have been varied which I know is the right way to go. Between the pool and training with Carol my routine is never the same. Switching my routine is good.
So I have to believe it is something with the food I am eating. My food choices are pretty predictable.....maybe that is the problem.....
Oatmeal for breakfast at least 5 days a week. Flat bread with cheese for lunch. I get in veggies. I am drinking more water. So what to do?
Maybe this week I will read every label I can to see exactly what is in what I am eating.....I will really look at the sugar and the other white stuff......really focus on the carb's and fat......
I have lunch plans both Saturday and Sunday......I will need to plan ahead and try to make good choices. I can't avoid life so I have to figure out how to live in the real world where every meal can't be made just for me. I know I can ask for substitutions in order to stay focused but sometimes it would be easier if I could just pack my own food and bring it with me for social events.
I want to see some changes in the reflection looking back at me and right now I am not. I pass up things I like to eat all the time, I don't order lunch out when I would love to because I know some of those choices wouldn't be good, I try to think before I eat.
I try, I try, I try........
So what to do????
If I could just get out of this range of numbers that I am fluctuating in.......I think that would help a lot!!!!
OK it is Saturday morning and I have not eaten yet. I am hungry and need to figure out how to start my day.......
Bob is in the process of eating 6 cinnamon rolls......yes 6.....and I am trying to decide between oatmeal and ?????
It isn't fair....I know it has to do with metabolism.......where is mine?? Did it leave and go on vacation???
Time to pull myself up by my own bootstraps and get out of this funk I am in.....Jenn said "Nannie would tell you to pray about it." She is right.....so here goes....
"Dear God, Please help me figure this out. I can't do it alone. I am giving this over to you."
Amen.......
Bottom line is the numbers are moving in slow motion and I am getting so tired of it!!!! Today..... I feel like a big blob of fat. I know I can't give up and I won't but I am just at a point where I don't know where to turn.
My workouts at the gym have been varied which I know is the right way to go. Between the pool and training with Carol my routine is never the same. Switching my routine is good.
So I have to believe it is something with the food I am eating. My food choices are pretty predictable.....maybe that is the problem.....
Oatmeal for breakfast at least 5 days a week. Flat bread with cheese for lunch. I get in veggies. I am drinking more water. So what to do?
Maybe this week I will read every label I can to see exactly what is in what I am eating.....I will really look at the sugar and the other white stuff......really focus on the carb's and fat......
I have lunch plans both Saturday and Sunday......I will need to plan ahead and try to make good choices. I can't avoid life so I have to figure out how to live in the real world where every meal can't be made just for me. I know I can ask for substitutions in order to stay focused but sometimes it would be easier if I could just pack my own food and bring it with me for social events.
I want to see some changes in the reflection looking back at me and right now I am not. I pass up things I like to eat all the time, I don't order lunch out when I would love to because I know some of those choices wouldn't be good, I try to think before I eat.
I try, I try, I try........
So what to do????
If I could just get out of this range of numbers that I am fluctuating in.......I think that would help a lot!!!!
OK it is Saturday morning and I have not eaten yet. I am hungry and need to figure out how to start my day.......
Bob is in the process of eating 6 cinnamon rolls......yes 6.....and I am trying to decide between oatmeal and ?????
It isn't fair....I know it has to do with metabolism.......where is mine?? Did it leave and go on vacation???
Time to pull myself up by my own bootstraps and get out of this funk I am in.....Jenn said "Nannie would tell you to pray about it." She is right.....so here goes....
"Dear God, Please help me figure this out. I can't do it alone. I am giving this over to you."
Amen.......
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Gym On A Sunday Morning
I went to the gym early today. The nice part is that early on a Sunday morning it is not crowded. I had the pool all to myself and it was so relaxing......the some families showed up and my solitude was broken. Until they arrived I imagined myself as very wealthy and this was the pool at my beach house. Of course my pool would be enclosed so I could swim every day. It would have floor to ceiling windows and I would have no one to bother me unless they were invited....
I had weights by the pool to use in the water....one of the Dad's in the pool threw them far enough away so his very young son could not reach them but neither could I. I wished he had at least thought to ask if I was using them!! I spent the rest of my time counting in my head as I did jumping jacks, kicks, jogged and stair work. All to the screams from young children.
Have I mentioned that there are signs that say "No children under 5 are allowed in the pool"?
One Dad had his 18 month old son jumping to him from the side of the pool. Each time the little boy jumped... I cringed because his head was so close to the edge. OK.... can I mention the splashing?? I fixed my hair and make-up before I left for the gym......that is the beauty of working out in the pool....no streams of sweat running down your face or flattening your hair. BUT when kids start slamming the noodles in the pool there is a lot of splashing going on. Did I mention the Dad playing catch with his son....I had to keep an eye out for any stray pitches that might head my way.
My pool time is supposed to be relaxing!!!! This morning......NOT!!!
But the good news was I got a workout in.....count to 100 for each exercise I did.....100 jumping jacks....100 kicks....and on and on and I did 2-3 sets of each. It was probably good that I was counting to 100 because it helped me to concentrate.
It also prevented me from losing my cool.....
Oh well, at least I got the workout in and burned some calories and earned some activity points.......
One trip to the gym for the week is over....hopefully I will get at least 3 more visits in this week. Minus the stress.....
I had weights by the pool to use in the water....one of the Dad's in the pool threw them far enough away so his very young son could not reach them but neither could I. I wished he had at least thought to ask if I was using them!! I spent the rest of my time counting in my head as I did jumping jacks, kicks, jogged and stair work. All to the screams from young children.
Have I mentioned that there are signs that say "No children under 5 are allowed in the pool"?
One Dad had his 18 month old son jumping to him from the side of the pool. Each time the little boy jumped... I cringed because his head was so close to the edge. OK.... can I mention the splashing?? I fixed my hair and make-up before I left for the gym......that is the beauty of working out in the pool....no streams of sweat running down your face or flattening your hair. BUT when kids start slamming the noodles in the pool there is a lot of splashing going on. Did I mention the Dad playing catch with his son....I had to keep an eye out for any stray pitches that might head my way.
My pool time is supposed to be relaxing!!!! This morning......NOT!!!
But the good news was I got a workout in.....count to 100 for each exercise I did.....100 jumping jacks....100 kicks....and on and on and I did 2-3 sets of each. It was probably good that I was counting to 100 because it helped me to concentrate.
It also prevented me from losing my cool.....
Oh well, at least I got the workout in and burned some calories and earned some activity points.......
One trip to the gym for the week is over....hopefully I will get at least 3 more visits in this week. Minus the stress.....
Yes, I Do Count Gardening As Excercise
Most of you who know me well know I am not a gardener......
In the South, many people live to garden. You always see movies with those older southern ladies....wearing gardening gloves and big hats to protect their fair skin from the sun. Me.....um....not!! I do wear a hat in the summer but that is just when I am sitting in my friend Kathy's pool and don't want my scalp to burn......yes I said it and I will say it again......I don't want my scalp to burn. You all know my hair is thin and baby fine so I must protect my head. Once I get in the pool, I never want to get out so the hat is a necessity.
Back to the gardening.....
The front of the house looked a little dreary. Jenn and I decided to go to Lowe's. Yes, us and about 90 million other people (that number might be slightly exaggerated). Everyone decided yesterday was the day to spruce up the yard. We bought cedar mulch, a small half barrel, some herbs and potting soil. It was almost 90 degrees out and I was sweating as I walked around and around looking at the plants and seeds.
We got home and I went inside to cool off.....a big THANK YOU to the person who invented central air!!!
Once I had cooled off, Jenn and I went outside and spread the cedar mulch. We also planted an herb garden with oregano, basil, parsley, dill and chives. The only thing I have left to do is get a few hanging baskets for the front porch and I am done. I want to get spider plants to hang. They endure the heat well and I usually do not have to replace them during the summer. As long as I remember to water them each day.....
Should I mention not only was I covered in dirt and sweating and smelled like cedar but I was extremely hot!!!
Do I count this as exercise?? You bet you a** I do!!!!
OK, I will admit that when I pulled away from the house today to go to the gym....it did look pretty. Now the works begins because now I have to keep it that way.
Wonder how many points I burned up during the process......it better have been a lot!!!
In the South, many people live to garden. You always see movies with those older southern ladies....wearing gardening gloves and big hats to protect their fair skin from the sun. Me.....um....not!! I do wear a hat in the summer but that is just when I am sitting in my friend Kathy's pool and don't want my scalp to burn......yes I said it and I will say it again......I don't want my scalp to burn. You all know my hair is thin and baby fine so I must protect my head. Once I get in the pool, I never want to get out so the hat is a necessity.
Back to the gardening.....
The front of the house looked a little dreary. Jenn and I decided to go to Lowe's. Yes, us and about 90 million other people (that number might be slightly exaggerated). Everyone decided yesterday was the day to spruce up the yard. We bought cedar mulch, a small half barrel, some herbs and potting soil. It was almost 90 degrees out and I was sweating as I walked around and around looking at the plants and seeds.
We got home and I went inside to cool off.....a big THANK YOU to the person who invented central air!!!
Once I had cooled off, Jenn and I went outside and spread the cedar mulch. We also planted an herb garden with oregano, basil, parsley, dill and chives. The only thing I have left to do is get a few hanging baskets for the front porch and I am done. I want to get spider plants to hang. They endure the heat well and I usually do not have to replace them during the summer. As long as I remember to water them each day.....
Should I mention not only was I covered in dirt and sweating and smelled like cedar but I was extremely hot!!!
Do I count this as exercise?? You bet you a** I do!!!!
OK, I will admit that when I pulled away from the house today to go to the gym....it did look pretty. Now the works begins because now I have to keep it that way.
Wonder how many points I burned up during the process......it better have been a lot!!!
Italian Cooking Lessons
As part of the weekly Italian class Jenn and I are taking, this week we were in the kitchen....
Maria, our instructor's Mom, taught us how to make sauce, lasagna, fresh fruit salad and tiramasu from scratch. Maria is a retired pastry chef from Italy. It was fun to watch flour, eggs and a few other ingredients become lasagna noodles and fettuccine. This is the first time I have eaten lasagna without ricotta cheese but it did have mortadella added to it. Jenn posted some pictures on facebook of the cooking class. Although I am not a fan of tiramasu, I did try a tiny bit and it was very good. Did I mention Ellen from the class brought homemade focaccia bread? Oh and I forgot to mention the Italian cherries and cheeses that we shared. This is an intimidating crowd to cook for....
Italian phrasing was used during the cooking and eating.
Just so you know I watched what I ate all day so I would have sufficient points for the meal. And yes, I ate normal portions....LOL. It was very hard to control myself!!!
The class has decided to have each of us on occasion will bring something we make to our weekly meeting that is special to us. I told them I wouldn't dare bring any Italian food into their house. Although, I think I am a good cook....I can't hold a candle to any of these cooks in the Italian food department!!!!
The good part was I was able to enjoy this meal with some new friends.I still managed to lose at the scale this week.......
The evening was "magnifico" !!!! And we applauded Maria when the meal was done.....a few "Bravos" were part of the cheers.
Maria, our instructor's Mom, taught us how to make sauce, lasagna, fresh fruit salad and tiramasu from scratch. Maria is a retired pastry chef from Italy. It was fun to watch flour, eggs and a few other ingredients become lasagna noodles and fettuccine. This is the first time I have eaten lasagna without ricotta cheese but it did have mortadella added to it. Jenn posted some pictures on facebook of the cooking class. Although I am not a fan of tiramasu, I did try a tiny bit and it was very good. Did I mention Ellen from the class brought homemade focaccia bread? Oh and I forgot to mention the Italian cherries and cheeses that we shared. This is an intimidating crowd to cook for....
Italian phrasing was used during the cooking and eating.
Just so you know I watched what I ate all day so I would have sufficient points for the meal. And yes, I ate normal portions....LOL. It was very hard to control myself!!!
The class has decided to have each of us on occasion will bring something we make to our weekly meeting that is special to us. I told them I wouldn't dare bring any Italian food into their house. Although, I think I am a good cook....I can't hold a candle to any of these cooks in the Italian food department!!!!
The good part was I was able to enjoy this meal with some new friends.I still managed to lose at the scale this week.......
The evening was "magnifico" !!!! And we applauded Maria when the meal was done.....a few "Bravos" were part of the cheers.
A Full Circle Of Life Week
This last week included all the major events of life: birth, marriage and death.
Birth:
I was so excited to hear our family will have a new addition. My nephew Nick and his wife Sally are expecting a baby in the fall. Sally posted a sonogram picture on facebook. I can already see the baby looks like her Great-Aunt Donna.....LOL. This will be the 2nd girl in that generation in our family. Funny, I remember my great Aunts and Uncles and they seemed so much older than I am now.....is my memory fading or am I just not willing to admit that I am probably the age they were when I remember spending time with them.
Marriage:
We made reservations for the hotel in Jensen Beach, FL for another nephews wedding. Nick's brother George will be marrying his love Mary in June. This is going to be a great week-end and I am excited to spend time with my family. George is the oldest of the grandchildren and has planned a special week-end for all the guests.
Death:
I received a phone call Friday to let me know about a friends passing. Dwayne was one of the kindest people I have ever known, always smiling as if he knew a secret, and a wonderful contagious laugh. We worked together 3 times in the last 12 years at different jobs. He was too young to have been taken from us so suddenly.
I experienced joy at the news of a new baby.....that definitely should be named in honor of Nick's favorite Aunt and Godmother....the would be me!!!
I enjoyed thinking about the happiness of George and Mary as they get ready to start their life together.
I mourn the ending of a life too soon....as I said on facebook although he is gone.....there is a new star in the sky and the heavens are filled with his laughter.
From birth to death all in a few shorts days.....the one resounding commonality was love. Love for a new life, the love of a young couple and the love for a friend that will be missed.
It has been quite a week......
Birth:
I was so excited to hear our family will have a new addition. My nephew Nick and his wife Sally are expecting a baby in the fall. Sally posted a sonogram picture on facebook. I can already see the baby looks like her Great-Aunt Donna.....LOL. This will be the 2nd girl in that generation in our family. Funny, I remember my great Aunts and Uncles and they seemed so much older than I am now.....is my memory fading or am I just not willing to admit that I am probably the age they were when I remember spending time with them.
Marriage:
We made reservations for the hotel in Jensen Beach, FL for another nephews wedding. Nick's brother George will be marrying his love Mary in June. This is going to be a great week-end and I am excited to spend time with my family. George is the oldest of the grandchildren and has planned a special week-end for all the guests.
Death:
I received a phone call Friday to let me know about a friends passing. Dwayne was one of the kindest people I have ever known, always smiling as if he knew a secret, and a wonderful contagious laugh. We worked together 3 times in the last 12 years at different jobs. He was too young to have been taken from us so suddenly.
I experienced joy at the news of a new baby.....that definitely should be named in honor of Nick's favorite Aunt and Godmother....the would be me!!!
I enjoyed thinking about the happiness of George and Mary as they get ready to start their life together.
I mourn the ending of a life too soon....as I said on facebook although he is gone.....there is a new star in the sky and the heavens are filled with his laughter.
From birth to death all in a few shorts days.....the one resounding commonality was love. Love for a new life, the love of a young couple and the love for a friend that will be missed.
It has been quite a week......
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Back To The Basics...
Sometimes I get slack.....I get lazy about writing down what I eat, don't really focus on the portion sizes and don't drink all of my water. When this happens .....it shows at the scale.
So once again.....for the 90 zillionth time.....I am getting tough on myself. I promise for this week to write down everything I eat......I promise to watch my portion size.......I promise to drink all of my water (even if it means I have to get up during the night).
I am going to try and get up early enough each morning to make a fresh salad, soup or veggie dish for lunch. I have green zucchini ready to go, bought some grape tomato's to munch on, celery and cukes to eat with salsa.
I don't know why I get slack with these things......fortunately I do not get slack about the gym......I am even thinking about squeezing in another day on a regular basis.....last week I went 4 times and that is what I am shooting for and maybe 5 times some weeks.....just have to figure out when to do it......in the morning.....hhhmmm......that would be tough.....I would love to but I can barely get myself out of bed on time as it is.....after work??....I would love to some straight home from work at least 2 days a week......so I will have to think on that one and figure it out.....wish I could get to the pool on lunch hour......more to think about....
I will get this all straight sooner or later......sooner would be better.....right??
So once again.....for the 90 zillionth time.....I am getting tough on myself. I promise for this week to write down everything I eat......I promise to watch my portion size.......I promise to drink all of my water (even if it means I have to get up during the night).
I am going to try and get up early enough each morning to make a fresh salad, soup or veggie dish for lunch. I have green zucchini ready to go, bought some grape tomato's to munch on, celery and cukes to eat with salsa.
I don't know why I get slack with these things......fortunately I do not get slack about the gym......I am even thinking about squeezing in another day on a regular basis.....last week I went 4 times and that is what I am shooting for and maybe 5 times some weeks.....just have to figure out when to do it......in the morning.....hhhmmm......that would be tough.....I would love to but I can barely get myself out of bed on time as it is.....after work??....I would love to some straight home from work at least 2 days a week......so I will have to think on that one and figure it out.....wish I could get to the pool on lunch hour......more to think about....
I will get this all straight sooner or later......sooner would be better.....right??
What the hell is going on with my eyelids???
Last week I decided to try something as an experiment.....I made up one half of my face at a time to see if my make-up really made a difference in the way I looked. The answer.....OH MY GOD YES !!!!!
Not that with make-up I would end up on the cover of Vogue but without it I could probably end up on the cover of MAD magazine. Some people are very lucky and can carry off the no make-up look. I used to be able to........but that was a long time ago!!!
While I was doing my goofy half make-up experiment.....I noticed something I hadn't really picked up on before. When I used my make-up brush to apply my eyeshadow.....my eyelid didn't automatically pop back into place......it kind of slowly slid back into place....uuuggghh.
My hair is thinning, I get my face waxed (OK so I can get hair on my face and not on my head????), my boobs are racing to see which one can reach my waist first, my hands have a lot of wrinkles even when I do not spend excessive time in the water and now my eyelids have lost their elasticity....
I am afraid to see what is next.....and I am sure you are all on the edge of your seats wanting to know too.....maybe body parts will start falling off......I promise you will be the first to know....stay tuned!!!
Not that with make-up I would end up on the cover of Vogue but without it I could probably end up on the cover of MAD magazine. Some people are very lucky and can carry off the no make-up look. I used to be able to........but that was a long time ago!!!
While I was doing my goofy half make-up experiment.....I noticed something I hadn't really picked up on before. When I used my make-up brush to apply my eyeshadow.....my eyelid didn't automatically pop back into place......it kind of slowly slid back into place....uuuggghh.
My hair is thinning, I get my face waxed (OK so I can get hair on my face and not on my head????), my boobs are racing to see which one can reach my waist first, my hands have a lot of wrinkles even when I do not spend excessive time in the water and now my eyelids have lost their elasticity....
I am afraid to see what is next.....and I am sure you are all on the edge of your seats wanting to know too.....maybe body parts will start falling off......I promise you will be the first to know....stay tuned!!!
The Curling Iron.....
I know I should not complain about my hair.....especially when there are those close to me who have lost theirs at different times due to chemo or who are experiencing that loss now.....
BUT when I feel like I have so few physical attributes.....I have to hang on to whatever I can....except my weight....
Back to my hair.....it is thin and baby fine......I am so afraid I will become one of those women you see where all you see is scalp.......I am not talking about the people who lose it to chemo and then it grows back.....I don't think mine is coming back.......so what to do.....
I now spend more time on my hair than I have my whole life.....gels, curlers, highlights.....you know.....the whole 9 yards......
I now use a curling iron.....not too hot though......don't want to burn the hair I still have.....I do like the way it looks when it is done......the problem is ....it does take more time......I can't just slap on the gel, add some curlers, let it sit and take them out before I leave for work......I have to wait for my hair to dry....apply some gel and start curling......once I am done.... with just a little hairspray I am good to go......in order to do this I have to give myself another 15 minutes in the morning.....
At the rate I am going I will never get to sleep. I have to keep on getting up earlier and earlier to make myself look......well you know.....
BUT when I feel like I have so few physical attributes.....I have to hang on to whatever I can....except my weight....
Back to my hair.....it is thin and baby fine......I am so afraid I will become one of those women you see where all you see is scalp.......I am not talking about the people who lose it to chemo and then it grows back.....I don't think mine is coming back.......so what to do.....
I now spend more time on my hair than I have my whole life.....gels, curlers, highlights.....you know.....the whole 9 yards......
I now use a curling iron.....not too hot though......don't want to burn the hair I still have.....I do like the way it looks when it is done......the problem is ....it does take more time......I can't just slap on the gel, add some curlers, let it sit and take them out before I leave for work......I have to wait for my hair to dry....apply some gel and start curling......once I am done.... with just a little hairspray I am good to go......in order to do this I have to give myself another 15 minutes in the morning.....
At the rate I am going I will never get to sleep. I have to keep on getting up earlier and earlier to make myself look......well you know.....
So Now I Have To Give Up Pretzels....
I love pretzels.....
especially covered in chocolate......
I know those are a no-no. I love a plain mini size pretzel.....OK no "a" but a handful or serving size which is 20. I also like the cheese flavored ones too!!! After talking to Carol during my training session I now know they have to go.....sigh.....another thing I love bites the dust. Although they are fat free or almost fat free but they are make with white stuff....flour. I asked about wheat pretzels but Carol said no to that too. She asked me if they came from the ground.....I know they didn't......then don't have them.....this no white stuff and only eating things that were around 100 years ago is not easy....
Carol said I could have them occasionally but not everyday.....that is what I have been having as a snack.....oh well....good-by my friend.....join the list of no-no's....the list is getting longer and longer everyday.
Then I asked Carol.....what can I have when I want something crunchy....celery. What about salty? What about sweet? What about sweet and salty?....
Suggestions.....turkey pepperoni, string cheese, celery with low fat dip or salsa...
If it helps me get to where I want to be then I guess it is a good thing.....well good-by pretzels......I will miss you.....go hang out with all the other things I try not to eat any more......and list continues to grow......
especially covered in chocolate......
I know those are a no-no. I love a plain mini size pretzel.....OK no "a" but a handful or serving size which is 20. I also like the cheese flavored ones too!!! After talking to Carol during my training session I now know they have to go.....sigh.....another thing I love bites the dust. Although they are fat free or almost fat free but they are make with white stuff....flour. I asked about wheat pretzels but Carol said no to that too. She asked me if they came from the ground.....I know they didn't......then don't have them.....this no white stuff and only eating things that were around 100 years ago is not easy....
Carol said I could have them occasionally but not everyday.....that is what I have been having as a snack.....oh well....good-by my friend.....join the list of no-no's....the list is getting longer and longer everyday.
Then I asked Carol.....what can I have when I want something crunchy....celery. What about salty? What about sweet? What about sweet and salty?....
Suggestions.....turkey pepperoni, string cheese, celery with low fat dip or salsa...
If it helps me get to where I want to be then I guess it is a good thing.....well good-by pretzels......I will miss you.....go hang out with all the other things I try not to eat any more......and list continues to grow......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
